Young Pastors: 7 Women to Watch Out For

“For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech.” (Proverbs 4:3)

Before there was a folk singer by that name, James Taylor was a professor of preaching. This veteran teacher of preachers held forth in classrooms at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary for many years. One day, in a room filled with young preacher boys, Dr. Taylor cautioned us about the temptations we would be facing.

“The day will come when a woman will sit in your office and proposition you. She will make herself available to you sexually. If your marriage is in trouble or if you are not up-to-date in your relationship with your Lord, you could get in big trouble fast.”

I raised my hand. “Dr. Taylor,” I said, “do you really believe that every one of us in this room will face this?” My mind was incapable of imagining a scenario in which a woman–any woman–would sit in a pastor’s office and try to seduce him.

“Yes, I do,” he said. “Even you, McKeever.”

That got a laugh.

I lived to see that day. (Fifteen years after she sat in my office making herself available to the young preacher, while preaching in another state, I spotted that woman and her husband–the same husband whose antics had given her cause to seek my counsel originally–in the congregation. I was thankful I had gotten this thing right in my office that day.)

The writer of Proverbs tried to do the same thing Dr. Taylor did for us in seminary that day: prepare the young lad for what he would be facing down the road.

“My son, give attention to my wisdom, incline your ear to my understanding;

That you may observe discretion, and your lips may reserve knowledge.

For the lips of an adulteress drip honey, and smoother than oil is her speech; But in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.

Her feet go down to death, her steps lay hold of Sheol. She does not ponder the path of life; her ways are unstable, she does not know it.” (Proverbs 4:1-6)

The remedy for this–in a sense, the armor which protects one from such a vamp–the writer goes on to say, is to “drink water from your own cistern” (4:15). He gets rather explicit in his counsel to a young husband to satisfy himself intimately with his wife and with no one else.

Many a man of God has sabotaged his own ministry by sexual sin.

They’re all through scripture. We think of the sons of Eli, the high priest. “The sons of Eli were worthless men; they did not know the Lord” (I Samuel 2:12). “They lay with the women who served at the doorway of the tent of meeting” (2:22).The Lord had no patience with such antics and put them out of business quickly (4:11).

There is the story of David and Bathsheba (II Samuel chapter 11), which came after David’s struggle to become king had succeeded and life had gotten easy for him. His “ministry” was damaged permanently and his usefulness to God greatly diminished.

Timothy was a young pastor, and therefore needed to be forewarned about this kind of temptation. His mentor, the Apostle Paul, spoke of the time when men in the church–not the world!–would be “treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power” (II Timothy 3:4-5). He was to “avoid such men as these.”

These are the kind of men, Paul says, “who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses….” (3:6).

Sometimes women are the victims, sometimes they are the victimizers.

Many a pastor has paid the ultimate price for sexual sins.

If temptation would tell the truth, no minister would ever succumb to its enticements. If the allurement to commit adultery would adhere to a “truth in advertising” code, the “full disclosure” would read something like this:

“Subject needs to understand that by crossing this line and entering into a sexual relationship with this person, the minister will be despising His Lord, delighting the enemy, violating his marriage vows, disappointing everyone who ever believed in him from his youth until now, destroying his family, and ending his ministry..”

No one would ever commit adultery if he was required to sign that!

The devil, however, has no intention of ever revealing a list of side effects. Listen to him and you would think to disobey God is the way to fulfillment and happiness.

The sinning minister fools himself into believing all kinds of lies, most of them originating with the one Jesus called “the father of lies” (John 8:44). He convinces himself that “I deserve this, no one will ever know, I can have all the wonderful things in my life and this forbidden fruit also,” and then, there is the clincher–“This feels so good, it can’t be wrong.”

Too late does he find out the truth of the old adage, that sin will take you farther than you wanted to go, keep you longer than you wanted to stay, and cost far more than you ever intended to pay.

Here are 7 women, young pastor, to watch out for in your ministry.

1) The woman who wants to be your wife.

She is unhappily married. Her husband has disappointed her in a hundred ways. Sitting in church week after week, it occurs to her that you are everything she has ever wanted in a husband. You are kind and gracious, thoughtful and spiritual. You love the Lord and are devoted to your family. You earn a good living and you do not drink or smoke or hang out in bars. So, she fixates on you.

Now, if she were rational, she would know that by seducing you–or winning you, however she would put it–all of those wonderful qualities she admires would suddenly go away: your ministry, your family, your income, the respect with which you are held in the town, your joy in life even.

In most cases, she thinks clearly enough not to actually try to break up your marriage (although that has happened often enough). She merely feels a strong attraction to you and puts herself in a position for you to pick up on it. Consciously or unconsciously, she becomes a trap for the unsuspecting minister.

2) The woman who wants to be your mother.

She will smother you with attention, inundate you with goodies she cooked “just because I knew you liked these,” and make life miserable for you. If you never suffered from claustrophobia before, you do now.

It’s not so much that she poses a sexual danger to you as that by allowing and encouraging this attention from her, you will give occasion to gossips to ply their trade. Avoiding “the appearance of evil” is always a good principle (I Thessalonians 5:22).

3) The woman who wants to be your lover.

This one has a particular allurement to the minister whose relationship with his wife has grown  stale. This really is the woman the Proverb-writer describes. And, in case one wonders, I seriously doubt that Solomon wrote this. The man with 1,000 girlfriends is in no position to offer such advice as we find in Proverbs 4! (Although he surely knew the truth of it!)

Such a woman seems to be amoral, without a sense of wrongness about anything she does. She justifies making herself available to the minister by statements such as: “You deserve this,” “God wants all of us to be happy, don’t you agree?” and “No one ever has to know; I certainly won’t tell.”

The thing to keep in mind, pastor, is that this woman making herself so available to you with no strings attached–that’s what she says, although we know better!–does not look like a Jezebel, painted and padded and bejeweled. You will not know her by her adornments.

She may be the pretty wife of  a deacon, the friend of your wife, or a church member who came to you for counsel. No one would ever pick her out of a crowd as a party-girl. But she is your biggest enemy.

4) The woman who wants to be your best friend.

She wants to confide in you as to who is doing what with whom in the church. She is a gossip.

She wants you to (ahem) “feel free to come to me anytime you need to talk to someone.” She wants to be your counselor.

In order to pull that off, her primary tactic involves a) spending a lot of time around you, perhaps volunteering in the office but more likely volunteering as your personal assistant, b) telling you intimate things about her own life, and c) asking you to unburden yourself with her.

If she cannot worm her way into your life any other way, look for her to befriend your wife and begin showing up in your home on a regular basis. Unless your wife is on your team, nothing about this is good from that moment on.

5) The woman you want.

There she is, the girl of your dreams. Maybe not the most beautiful woman in the world, but all things considered–her looks, her personality, her laughter, her spirituality, and a few other qualities that defy description–she is everything you ever wanted in a woman.

You get all swimmy-headed around her. You wonder if she does not pick up on all the vibrations your body is sending out.

There are a few problems, of course. You’re married and she’s married, for starters. And so you wisely tell yourself this can never be, that regardless of how wonderful she is, she is off-limits to you.

The problem is you keep being drawn to her and thrown with her (committees, work projects, etc). Because proximity fosters intimacy, unless you do something quickly, you are a goner.

In most cases, you cannot tell your wife this. You need a mentor who will be tough with you. If you have none, find yourself one now! Confide in him before you make the mistake of your life.

6) The woman who doesn’t know what she wants.

In most cases, this mixed up lady has come to you for counsel, asking you to tell her what to do. You listen to her whole complex life story.

Nothing about her is your ideal. You have never fantasized about her or anyone like her.

So, how does she become a problem to you? By her repeated visits to your office.

It’s a matter of focus. In sketching perhaps a hundred thousand people over these many years, I’ve found that everyone has a certain beauty and attractiveness about them. By focusing on the individual and not comparing them with anyone else, we can see it.  In the seclusion of the counseling room, as she unburdens herself with intimate details of her life, the minister may feel emotionally drawn to her.

The problem then becomes you, pastor, and not her.

Pastors should almost never become professional counselors. When church members come to you for help with problems, if it cannot be solved in a session or two, refer them to a trained professional.

Pastor Ed Young of Houston’s Second Baptist Church told some of us pastors once that we should not counsel at all. “All you need is for someone–man, woman, or child–to run out of the office accusing you of something, and your ministry is gone!”

He’s right. Pastor Young said when someone says to him following a church service, “I need to talk to you sometime,” he says,”Let’s sit in this pew right now and talk.” It’s in public and it will be done quickly.

I hate that life has come to this, but it has, and we have to deal with it.

7) The woman you work most closely with in ministry.

Once again, it’s a matter of focus. The minister of worship meets with the organist (or pianist or his personal assistant or whoever) on a regular basis to plan the services. The youth minister has frequent conferences with his secretary or a young woman in the church who assists in programming. The pastor meets with his children’s director or ministry assistant or the head of the women’s ministry or the chair of his personnel or finance committee.

Beware, minister. You must be proactive in heading off any possibility of a compromised situation.

Billy Graham decided early in his ministry never to be alone with a woman at any time. Some might find that extreme, but say what you will, his long and very public evangelistic ministry was never tainted in the least by sexual scandal or innuendo.

The most important woman in the church to you the minister.

Your wife must be your lover, your intimate friend, your best adviser and strongest counselor, and your “mother” (the one who cooks your favorite dishes and is always there for you).

Let the home fires get cold and you are setting yourself up for trouble, pastor. This is why the writer of Proverbs urged the young man he was mentoring to “drink water from your own cistern, and fresh water from your own well.”  He says, “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth” (Proverbs 4:15-23).

A pastor I know makes frequent mention of his wife from the pulpit. He makes it abundantly clear that he loves her dearly and, may I say, you get the impression that their intimate relationship is strong. He makes sure the church knows and supports his devotion to his wife and family, which means (among other things) that his off-time is as holy as his time in the office.

When he counsels women in his office, my pastor friend takes care. The door has a small window which allows anyone to see inside. At an agreed-upon time, his assistant phones to allow him an excuse to end the session. He is not a hugger.

Oh, about this hugging business.

Stop it, pastor. You may hug anyone under 6 and over 66. Other than that, keep your hands to yourself.

Rationalize it how you will, the hugging pastor is usually trying to get some need of his own met by this physical activity. And, justify it however he tries, I guarantee you there are plenty of women in the church who would be thrilled to learn he wll not be touching them in this way again.

We have talked all around it and must not end this little essay without admitting it:

Often, the sexual temptation arises solely from within the minister, and not from the woman.

Sometimes, Lord help us, he is the predator.

My mentor in the ministry, Dr. James Richardson, long in Heaven by now, used to say, “That come-on the preacher sees coming from some woman in the church may be merely the reflection of the gleam in his own eye.”

Get your act together, man of God. Be strong in the Lord. Recognize that “your adversary the devil prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (I Peter 5:8).He would like nothing better than to destroy you, make a laughingstock of you in the community, end your ministry, and hurt those dearest to you.

Don’t let him.

Resist the devil by being strong in the Lord.






97 thoughts on “Young Pastors: 7 Women to Watch Out For

  1. Excellent article on a subject pastors don’t usually like to discuss in public. Too there use to be a book in print about this book written by a Mississippi pastor, entitled “Preacher Behave”. And last one comment from a prof. at SWBTS stuck with me through the years. “Preacher don’t let 15 minutes of pleasure destroy the reputation it took a life-time to build”. Thanks for pastoring Pastors.

    • I wish my husband would listen he seals with several Female Pastors all his phone conversations are taken in the other room away from me or when he isnt home. These conversations go past church business and he have discussed our marital problems or what takes place in our home. On two occassions he have sneaked in Robes given to him by one of the female Pastor’s and when confronted he blew up threatening me with a divorce. Thank you for this article with wisdom I plan on sharing this and pray he changes

  2. Gordon, I illustrated that “Preacher, Behave” book for Dr. Clarke Hensley several decades ago. Then, maybe 10 or 12 years ago, he brought out an updated version. Anyone looking for it should try or Thanks for reminding us.

  3. Joe, you hit a home run again! This is good advice for not only for the young minister, but also for the one who has been a pastor for many years. It is interesting that you mentioned your friend James Richardson. One of the best sermons I have ever heard was a sermon about Samson that James preached at a “M” Night service. The theme was “You Can’t Mess Around With Sacred Things and Expect Life to Turn Out Right.” One of the points in the sermon is your body is sacred to God and you can’t mess around with the use of your body and expect life to turn out right. What truth! Joe, please keep writing. You are an encouragement not only to young ministers but also to us who have been at it a long time.

  4. As a young minister who has been recently married (yesterday made it 3 months), I would like to say thank you. You are certainly right that if the ruined minister had taken time to count the cost of giving into temptation then he would not do it.

    I have, in the past, seen hints at some of these to watch out for. Your advice is some that I will continue to remind myself of. In the mean-time, I will borrow some words from Pastor Fred Luter in saying that my wife is “The apple of my eye… my prime-rib… my good thing…”

    I praise God for what he has done in my life, and I pray that I always know and remember how blessed I am.

  5. I have witnessed a pastor having dinner with a woman church member in a restaurant near his home, separated by an alley. He thought he was discreet to select such a secluded spot. After dinner, he walked the woman back to his apartment resident and had his way with her because she was in there for a long time. The woman is active in all church activities. She never misses church services and attends warrior prayer meetings that last till 2:00AM twice a week. The woman makes a point to see the pastor as frequently as she can. She sees the pastor at church, at his place of business, an ICafe and then at the pastor’s office which is next door to the Cafe, which operates without a secretary.

    So far the pastor has not yet been ousted, but his days are numbered as documented evidents mount. This woman is my friend’s girl friend who appears to be so hollier than thou, and no one would ever suspect that she is a seductress fouling up the pulpit. This pastor is married but his wife is not with him. Soon the world will know about the duplicitous life led by some of the so called men of God who prey upon the meek and helpless. Even if the woman is weak, isn’t the pastor supposed to be spiritually superior?

    • My wife was preyed on by a 60 yr old, married, drunken, serial-cheating preacher last year. He had been having affairs for the 8 yrs he had preached and had fooled everyone but me. He was arrogant enough to think I would not have solid proof. He nearly destroyed my family and contributed to our divorce after nearly three decades of marriage. Thankfully, I sought wise counsel and God to help me through that dark time.. After his firing and telling his congregation that he needed to work on his marriage, he was caught by his wife with my then ex-wife one last time. His wife divorced him, he has never returned to the pulpit. It is a shame that so many men in positions of power, trust and authority take advantage of our vulnerable women. They will pay on judgement day.

      • Yes, sir. I completely agree. And when people have read our articles on pastors being careful of certain women in the church, invariably someone tells me the problem is often the reverse–pastors doing the preying. I agree and have written on that also. Thank you.

  6. Why put all the blame on the women? I see more news stories about predatory pastors than predatory congregants. Just do a Google search.

  7. I didn’t think I was doing that, Shannon, but just went back and reread the article and I think you are right. So, am working on a followup article. Thank you.

  8. Praise God! Very helpful and right on time. Sometimes they even try to get their attention even by the phone. Some of them don’t stop texting, they don’t respect. I have a question, should the ministers keep having communication with them? It is so bad these days to exchange phone numbers, you never know who you dealing with. Men should have men numbers and women have women numbers. To avoid conflicts. Thank you so much. God bless you and your marriage and ministry.

  9. I am a victim of Clergy Sexual Abuse at the hands of my former pastor. Please educate yourself about the seriousness of this issue. It is NEVER a consensual relationship, or affair because of the imbalance of power. While it is wise for pastors to be careful about putting themselves in questionable situations with women in their congregations, no blame should ever be placed on the victim/woman. There are many predators behind the pulpit. Here is a list of great resources to learn more about this abuse:

    Victim to Survivor, by Nancy Poling
    Sexual Abuse of Women by Members of the Clergy, by Kathryn Flynn
    Sex in the Forbidden Zone: When Men in Power betray Women’s Trust, by Dr. Peter Rutter
    Is Nothing Sacred? When Sex invades the Pastoral Relationship, by Marie Fortune
    How Little We Knew: Collusion and Confusion with Sexual Misconduct, by Dee Ann Miller
    The Truth about Malarkey, by Dee Ann Miller
    What about Her? A True Story of Clergy Abuse and Survival, by Beth Van Dyke
    Betrayal of Trust: Confronting and Preventing Clergy Sexual Misconduct, by Stanley Grenz
    Questions and Answers about Clergy Sexual Misconduct (From the Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute), by Elizabeth Horst Ph.D.
    When Pastors Prey, by Valli Boobal Batchelor

    • Actually, there are women predators. Some women want to take down a man in a position of power or prestige as they feel it empowers them.

      A friend told me about a Youth Pastor’s wife who found every opportunity to be around the pastor wearing what the secretary deemed to be provocative clothing and acting seductively. Eventually, the attention he was given and the seductive actions and attire got to him. They had an affair that ended both marriages and ministries.

      Even in the workplace, I have had many women either talk or act seductively around me. After we had sexual harassment classes, it was even worse. Some were very open and made indecent proposals or compliments. One started calling me “her husband”. At that place of business more harassment cases were filed by men than women.

      This has happened in the church life as well. A woman expressed sexual dissatisfaction with her husband, but said she might enjoy it if it was with a man like me. I respectfully declined the experiment.

      Some things are innocent. At one church, the younger women would give me a peck on the cheek like an uncle and some of the others as a brother or son. Some were from a different culture where a kiss on the cheek is as innocent as when the Southern bank teller calls me Hon, Sugar or Darlin’. The key is to know the difference.

      Nursing homes are the worst. I have been propositioned more in the Nursing Homes than any place I have ever been. Makes me a bit nervous about being in one some day or putting my wife there.

      Most men do not report such things and that includes men who have been raped. Some men who were seduced would take the blame/responsibility to protect the woman. Humans, of both genders” are sinners and capable of any evil.

  10. Last comment for the day. The questions I pose to my pastors are through emails so I won’t be accused of anything because after all, women are rotten, evil creatures that must be controlled by men yet it was generally men who, in the Bible, raped, sold, beat, and allowed their virgin daughters to be let loose to the masses to protect a man from being raped.

  11. You article says “young pastors” but only speaks to men about women. Would you apply the same points to women who are clergy? In this time and age you can be approach by either sex and thus one should be aware and guard oneself against sexual immorality period!

    • Friend Naomi, I don’t know enough about what women pastors experience to write such an article. One has to write about what he knows. While it’s true the article says ‘young pastors’–I was trying to address those just beginning in the ministry and starting to set some limits on themselves–there are over 2,000 articles in this blog, so (I have to keep reminding myself) one article only does so much. Thank you. (Perhaps you could write that article.)

  12. I have to express again my appreciation for your wisdom. Here in MN there are 10 of us who are all investors in True Friends’ Place which will hopefully be opening our first sober house as soon as our final state approval comes through. The first house will be a women’s sober house. This raises an issue for me, the resident pastor. The approach we have decided to take solves any issue with me offering pastoral services for these women which is very similar to what you mentioned that pastor doing who wouldn’t give hugs. The first plan is that under no circumstance will I, or the other male staff, be alone in a room with one of the women. The second part is that I will not go into any “counseling” session without a female staff present. It can’t just be another female (such as two female clients), it has to be another female staff. In our case, my wife will be the assistant-general manager so she’s my ideal person to go in with me if possible. However, my mother-in-law is the general manager so that works too. What this implies and tells the clients also is that confidentiality does not apply among staff. To be more clear what I mean is, straff will keep confidentiality among each other and will not discuss anything about the clients outside of the organization however, none of us promise that we will not discuss client issues with other staff members.

  13. I thank God for using you to expose what is actually going on in the ministry. What is your advice to a young minister who wants to get married before going to pastor a branch church?

    • No advice, Brother Francis, other than to get serious premarital counsel and to help her know what she’s getting into. If nothing else, have her take a veteran pastor’s wife or two to lunch and pick their brains. (Choose carefully to make sure the wives are Godly and mature, otherwise they could do damage.)

  14. Well spoken but… No hugging? how many times did John fall on Jesus’ neck? How many time did his disciples kiss him? what about greeting one another with an Holy Kiss? Being that I’m not a man, and I figure as a man, you must/might know what a man experiences in a hug– maybe you are aware of something that I am not. However, regardless, any man who is not able to hug a sister out of a pure heart is in need of deliverance— it is an act of familial love! There is a natural attraction that exist between a man and a woman, for either to be afraid of such is a sign of immaturity. Nevertheless, one must be vigilant, and despite all the talk of accountability {to various folks} and mentorship {of various folks}; the person you are most accountable to is the Lord and there is no mentor like the Holy Spirit. He is a confidant that does not betray or gossip… enter into that closet and speak to him in confession as if you are talking to a friend in front of you… you’d be surprise what that does. All in All, a warning well said pastor.

  15. Thank you for sharing this. I am a single woman who fell in love with my pastor, which I had never planned nor ever imagined could happen. Yet, it resulted – like you mentioned in your article – from repeated “office visits.” In our case, it was emails, phone calls, and in-person conversations of an intimate nature, as I would pour out my heart, my struggles, my deepest fears, hopes and dreams. He would listen and he would be like a hero in my eyes, to the point that I fixated on him and thought of him more often than I thought about Christ and pursuing holiness.

    I think he was a little naive. I never told him that I was in love with him, but some big red flags showed up, and so I ended it by saying, “You’ve taken care of me spiritually for two years, and you’ve become an idol in my life. I want to see you as a brother, not as a superhero. Only God should have that place in my heart.” Whether he suspects I’m in love with him or not, I don’t know, but he was able to understand the “idol” part and so he does not have conversations with me anymore.

    I wish more pastors would understand what happens in a woman’s heart when they are listening to their personal problems and offering comfort. I wish I knew the dangers as well, so that I would not have fallen in love and now be going through the grieving/healing process of what feels like a breakup!

    • Thank you, my sister, for sharing this. How painful it must be. — You might be surprised at the amount of flack I’ve taken for this article. But testimonies like yours reminds us how great the dangers are. Thank you.

    • Wow, this is where I feel my husband is located. A single young lady at church has offered to do work for him. He agreed. She is no# 4 in your article. They exchanged phone numbers. They communicate “discreetly”. She has fallen in love with my husband. They messaged one another via apps. My husband has been in ministry a long time. He should know better. But, we know Satan is crafty. When I found out and asked my husband about it, he denied it. My husband is old enough to be her dad. She is like the secretary who won’t go away. Her dress attire is seductive. Her pants fit “tight” all the time. She has even sent pictures of herself to him. His conversation with her is always private. Yet, I believe he finds comfort in knowing this single lady likes him. I don’t know what to do. My husband won’t listen to me and EVERY time I bring up this single lady to him, our conversation turns into a BIG argument. My husband is the Pastor who counsels everyone but, does not receive counsel from his wife. I’m sure if I suggest we go to counseling, he would hit the roof. I wish I knew someone who he would receive counsel from. I love her but do not like what she is doing. I want her to GO AWAY. I am hurting and my husband don’t seem to understand. I believe he likes the attention. I’m sure I am not the only First Lady, Pastor’s Wife in this position.

      • My friend, thank you. My single suggestion is that YOU should go for counsel. The counselor can help you think this through and decide how to handle it. Please?

  16. If I had it to do over again, I would have only spoken with both him and his wife together. As it was, I had such a strong relationship with the both of them, that all three of us never suspected anything could happen of this nature. While no physical boundaries were ever crossed, but sexual attraction developed on both ends. Emotional lines were crossed as the wife simply trusted both her husband and me, who would have one-on-one conversations on the phone, via email, and even in person without her being present. As the quote goes, “People don’t plan to fail. They fail to plan.” I wish I could undo it.

  17. Sir, thanks a lot for this article. Very very helpful. Indeed we can see the wisdom of God in:

    “Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation. The spirit truly is ready, but the flesh is weak” – Mark 14:38

    Despite my inexperience compared to you, let me add: I want to encourage ALL ministers give themselves to “prayer and the ministry of the word”. Come to the Bible as a child everyday, and sit at the feet of Jesus, to hear his golden Words.

    As you renew your devotion to sitting at His feet DAILY, you will love Him more, and that will help you suppress you fleshly desire to get involved with that woman in your church/congregation. If you pray and study the word devotedly, you will have the power within you to sense these dangers, and overcome temptations. The power of God to overcome sin will be present in your life.

    Psalm 62:11
    God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God.

    Remember…the power to overcome sins, the power to overcome temptations, the power to do good, the power to be a pastor, the power to be an evangelist, the power to read the Word and understand, the power to love someone…..ALL belongs to God.

    The Church machinery and structures of accountability will not be able to stop the lust in your heart….and that sin might STILL bear ugly fruit in your life.

    Be clean on the inside through the Holy Spirit!

  18. Indeed. The sad part is the churches most often cover it up. If the pastor is single and seduced with all the things you named, even being 》18 years his junior. My church is now celebrating the soon to be marriage of these two. This is a large church. They have been there a few years, my family a long time. I feel shocked and frustrated.

  19. Wise words, indeed, Pastor Joe!!!

    I do not think women, in general, realize what is at stake for ministers, because women are not held to the same level of accountability nor do they stand to lose as much as he does, hence they can afford to be reckless.

    I also believe that female congregants have a moral responsibility and obligation to dress modestly and to be chaste and decent, in all that they do. This also means safeguarding her pastor’s reputation as much as her own, through Godly conduct.

    Truth be known, women know, as well as men, what is appropriate behavior and what is not, therefore they should never feel ashamed when a pastor refuses to meet with them alone. Pastors need to protect their flocks, protect their marriages and protect their ministries, while women ought to know better than to put their pastor in a compromising position or ask more of him than is prudent.

    Best wishes and be well – John Higgins

    • Until my pastor admitted to me that I as his secretary was a temptation, I would never have guessed! But knowing this now, I am not only willing but insistent on boundaries that sadden me in that I can no longer confide in him as my pastor. That is just the sacrifice necessary for the success of the church and the ministry of Jesus Christ. It doesn’t mean my flesh doesn’t desire the attention I crave in a marriage where I am ignored, but please know there are women who desire God’s work to prevail above their own needs, to the point of seeking employment outside of the job they love serving an imperfect, but God-honoring, pastor.

  20. Great article, thanks for sharing. This is not only for young pastors, even older ones need this message since they are still facing these same temptations, women who are not saved don’t care whether you are married or not, young or old? the devil is after men of God. Blessings

  21. As a female going into ministry, I find this article disgusting and appalling. Women are not evil. The Devil is evil. Women are made, just like men, in the image of Christ. This article is extremely sexist and feeds the egos of males in ministry who are extremely insecure and probably don’t know how to handle their sexual urges, so they label woman as always being the initiator and fully responsible for a problem. The population of this world and most churches are majority females. I suggest that you guys upgrade the way you think because God is rising up women who plan on leveling the playing field in ministry.

    • Please don’t go into the ministry angry. Too many men and women go into the Lord’s work with a chip on their shoulders. Try love. And if you don’t know how to read this article without concluding I’m putting women down, you have miles to go before you’re ready to help people.

    • I am a female and when I read this article, I thought it was really on point and on time. I sensed no disregard or disrespect for women whatsoever.

      This was truly a wise and fantastic article.

      • Thank you, Wynne. I get so many negative notes from women about that article, it’s refreshing to get yours. Thanks again, and Merry Christmas to you.

        • I agree that she is very angry. I found this article through a google search. I am a woman and I agree with everything the article says because I am a woman and I know what women are capable of. We know men’s weaknesses, and will use those weaknesses to satisfy ourselves. Thank you for boldly warning young and old pastors alike. It needs to be said.

    • I think you made a great point. Many men in powerful positions like the ministry are not very good at handling their own personal urges and someone has to take the blame when they lose control of their lives. Guess who gets it?

  22. While there are some great points of wisdom here, I can’t help but be bothered by this article. While there are some women who seek men in power, many do not; they have hearts for the Lord too. I can’t tell you how horrible it feels as a woman to meet pastors who hold hard to rules made to protect themselves rather then the women who come to them for help. How many times have I been made to feel tainted simply because of my gender… even as a minister myself! Why can’t we talk about the need for mutual honor among the body of Christ rather than types of women to avoid? A side note – Jesus wasn’t afraid to be alone with women. He wasn’t afraid to let them touch him. Did you now, He didn’t care about his reputation? Isn’t it amazing how the first person He ever revealed Himself to as the Messiah was the woman at the well?? Here’s the simple truth – men and women are BOTH made in the image of God. We were made to work together. What do you think would happen if we could focus on ways to come together rather than protecting ourselves from each other? Just maybe the Kingdom of God would advance.

      • Joe – what I suggested doesn’t equate to a perfect world… just a restored one. It’s a pretty limited vantage point in Christianity to only “save souls.” Jesus said, “make disciples.” It’s time to call the church to a higher place — we need to grow up and encourage others to do the same.

        • Oh, I agree entirely. You’re talking to someone who is constantly harping on disciple-making (as opposed to getting them to make decisions or pray a certain prayer). Part of being Christlike is to protect both ourselves and others from sin. That’s what this article is about

      • I read the article, and it seems right from the angle of letting male pastors know what they will face. Their role as a pastor is one of authority, and that is why they should be warned. (and one of Godliness)
        My son and his classmates in the state police academy were forewarned before graduation: Be very careful, women love the uniform. Meaning, don’t toss away your life, marriage, or relationship and your difficult training that you just got through by being seduced.
        The warnings should be put out there. It doesn’t mean to watch out for horrible women. It means that this is an area that we have seen repeatedly where lives are destroyed; so think ahead and don’t allow it to happen.

  23. Wise words indeed. Additionally, many rural pastors do home visitation…a good policy is that when you knock on the door, if the husband isn’t home, then you stand on the steps in plain view saying “don’t have but a moment…just want to check on y’all. Tell John I will come back when I can visit with you both.” Has been a workable policy to “avoid any appearance of evil”. In these evil days, even the simplest most innocent thing can be blown out of proportion. If possible, take your wife with you as you visit in homes.

    • Thank you, Doug. Your story here and the one above should counter the well-meaning but thoughtless criticisms of those who say we are anti-women and unChristlike. Your suggestions are exactly right.

  24. The last semester of seminary for any man or woman should be an ethics intensive regarding this very subject–along with testimonies of those whose very lives have been destroyed by sexual immorality committed by clergy.

    My pastor husband of nearly a quarter of a century was not a young man when he succumbed to the wiles of a pretty, bored, aggressive wife of another, whom you describe accurately and completely in numbers 1, 3, 4, 5, and 7. And lest you think I blame her only, know that while she seduced my husband, he was certainly ‘seduce-able.’ A life-long flirt with a penchant for pornography, it was only a matter of time before his weakness became a breach.

    While my children and I have moved away and moved on, my ex and the other woman married and work to rewrite history to suit their soulmate narrative. My now grown children tell me he is a shell of his former self, that he has aged considerably, that they believe he can never admit (especially to himself) that he made the wrong choice, because if he does he will take his own life.

    Those are the testimonies young people in the ministry need to hear to make them take your article seriously…the testimonies of the children with broken or severed relationships with their adulterous parent; children who angrily turn to drugs and alcohol and promiscuity; children who turn their backs on their faith; former pastor’s wives who are now single parents and sole breadwinners; congregations who never recover emotionally and financially when their trust was shattered and their members scattered in the wake of their minister’s infidelity–the ripples go on and on.

    This article is spot on and should be a mandatory read for every minister–male or female. Thank you for addressing a topic few are willing to acknowledge.

  25. Question: How do we tactfully deal with those in the church who are “huggers” without seeming aloof, distant, or offensive? Suggestions deeply appreciated.

    • Dear Brother, I have long held to the “no hug unless we are related (actually I don’t even hug my brother in-law)” rule. I am female and if I see a hug coming I quickly extend my hand and intercept it with a hand-shake. I have been abused by my uncle, father, a stranger, a pastor and my ex-husband right after child-birth. I have been approached by two male bosses so far (left those jobs as quick as possible). I love my bothers-in-Christ but I don’t want to sin or to cause them to sin (mentally, emotionally or physically). Please err on the side of caution because you can’t go wrong. The above article was excellent although not quite complete. It should include ways for women to conduct themselves righteously as women of God as it says in Titus 2.

  26. Although I am female, I did not find this article offensive to women.
    It’s a sad truth that predators come in both sexes, and inappropriate relationships can easily be forged out of grief, a need for attention, a counseling relationship that becomes too close or a working relationship that becomes too familiar.
    It is important to remember that damage can be done even from the “appearance of evil” in these cases.
    I have personally witnessed the devastation that happens in ministry and in lives when it even “appears” that something may be occurring. I have seen careers destroyed even after the offending parties were found fully innocent of wrongdoing. I do not say this from a place of condemnation or judgment, but as a personal victim of this type of damage.
    Pastors please!!
    Protect the women under your care by handling them properly. Even if that means protecting them from themselves, or you.

  27. Dear Servant of God
    Greetings in the wonderful name of Jesus Christ our Lord and savior, we
    praise God each day when we have the grace of breath and life to say hello
    to the co-laborer of the heavenly kingdom, we love you that is why we think
    of you and mention you in our daily prayers God to manifest His presence in
    your midst. Our prayers are with you each day keep on doing the will of God
    never loss hope God has promised to be with you till the end of the edge.
    Glory, honor and praise return to God always for His presence in our
    service, thanks for your prayers really we are encouraged and strengthened
    and they gave us power to live for Christ.
    Press on hold your faith.
    Be encouraged with verses,
    God will never fail you, His words will never fail, His love will never
    depart, His mercies will never decrease and His faithfulness will not fail
    to bring you into what He had destined for you in this life. This is God’s
    word concerning you and it is an everlasting covenant between you and God
    that Satan, with all his agents and activities against you, will never be
    able to change; “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only
    Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
    For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to
    save the world through him.” John 3:16-17. Because you have believed in
    Jesus Christ as the only Son of God sent to redeem mankind, this words and
    the promises therein becomes very active in you and effective in everything
    that will ever concern you. Through believing the word of God and accepting
    Jesus Christ as your only Lord and Savior, you have salvation; through
    confession and forgiveness, all of your past sins were completely washed
    away; through grace and a continuous fellowship with Jesus Christ you are
    justified and the consequences of all the sin and judgments or condemnations
    taken away you; through hunger for righteousness and the desire to follow
    His words, you are endued with the Holy Spirit from on High and given the
    power to become God’s sons and daughters.
    “Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave
    the right to become children of God, children born not of natural descent,
    nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.” John 1:12-13.
    The devil should not convince you otherwise; your past, current, and future
    troubles should not convince you otherwise. The disappointments,
    discouragements, frustrations, injustice, delays, abuse, lack, shame,
    depression and any form of loneliness should not convince you to think or
    believe otherwise, you are His and He is yours says the Spirit of the Lord,
    you have been given the power and you will have the victory; nothing can
    change God’s words and plans for you and nothing will make Him turn His face
    away from you or deny you His favor and blessings. “But now, O Jacob, listen
    to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says; do not
    be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine.
    When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through
    rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of
    oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”
    Isaiah 43:1-2
    Though men will try to condemn and convict you, but do not allow their
    condemnation to affect you; do not let your weakness condemn you before God;
    go before God boldly and confesses all of your weaknesses to Him and ask Him
    to help you overcome them and He will grant you the request; do not allow
    any of the instruments of wickedness used in afflicting you from anyone make
    you doubt if you are still a child of God, you still remain a child of God
    despite all of the things rising up against you and God will give you
    victory and a testimony. “Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love?
    Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are
    persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?
    As the Scriptures say, for your sake we are killed every day; we are being
    slaughtered like sheep. No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory
    is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can
    ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor
    demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow, not even
    the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky
    above or in the earth below, indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be
    able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus
    our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39. In all situations, in all locations, despite the
    troubles and temptations, you are a child of God because you have believed
    God’s words and accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

    Thanks let God bless you and keep you in good health. Looking forward
    hearing from you
    Grace, peace. love and glory from the Father of Lord Jesus Christ be unto

    Pastor Elijah

  28. Hello Pastor Joe,
    Is that correct for Single young pastor, .late night talking, texting over phone with many single / married woman in church. Here you are talking about married young pastor. I am referring to the Pastor is single not married. These woman might fall in love with this young Pastor, since this pastor gave too much of his time to woman. Pastor might think he counsel that person. what’s there to counsel at mid night over texting.

    • I’m assuming you are not one he texts with. So, may we assume you are going by hearsay here? If so, that’s dangerous ground and you’d do best by staying out of it. You cannot protect those women in the church from the single young pastor. They’ll have to do that themselves. If you have good reason to believe this is going on, you could pass this on to deacons or some leadership people.

    • Proverbs 31:3 (KJV) Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
      When you engage a woman in too much talks either in-person or texting , etc, you could be losing your strength.
      Don’t argue with the scriptures.

  29. Our pastor confessed that he’d been lusting after the assistant pastors wife.

    The board asked him to step down as it grieved the congregation and they had lost trust.

    He refused to step down and the assistant pastor and his wife along with about 9/10th of the church left.

    It’s heart breaking

    • It is indeed heartbreaking, and it’s also truly stupid. Why in the world would a pastor confess to having lusted after someone?! Let him confess it to God and go forward, no one the wiser. But all he did was spread the distrust. Anyone this shallow has no business pastoring a church of any size.

  30. My father was a well known minister in Calif. It happened to us when he and my mother took a woman who’s husband wanted to kill her, into their home.

  31. My wife recently entered into an intimate relationship with our pastor. After going through phone records, I found out they texted and spoke to each other everyday for at least 4 months straight. When I confronted her about it, she confessed to everything…we sought out biblical counseling and reconciled, however; we haven’t left the church, where he is still the pastor. She say she’s over him and ready to move on, but I notice certain things that suggest she’s not, or maybe I’m just being paranoid. I really would like to leave and pursue a fresh start…but we’ve been at this particular church for awhile, where I’m a minister and my wife and kids are both heavily involved in ministry at said church. I don’t want to make a spiritual decision based off emotions especially since no one knows what took place for obvious reasons. I would definitely look like the bad guy if I up rooted my family without a legitimate explanation. When I approached the pastor in a spirit of Meekness and made him aware that I knew what had been going on. To his credit, he was very remorseful, apologetic and transparent. I’m trying to move on like it never happened….however this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure. Great article…God bless!

    • Brother, you mean well, but you can’t start over in the same place. People need room to work on them selves with good counsel to understand why they messed up.
      They may both be sorry, but that doesn’t mean the same as repentance. Please leave this church and get counseling for your wife and some marriage counseling too. I wouldn’t be surprised if this affair isn’t over either. I bet the pastor as some other secrets no one knows.
      You can forgive in time, but please take your family to safety

  32. Evangelist Billy Graham was a 33rd Degree Free Mason and a Luciferian pedophile according to NYPD (retired) Detective James Rothstein. Google “Billy Graham pedophile.” Son Franklin Graham eats at VooDoo Donuts in Portland–a child sex-trafficking business. The #1 problem in Hollywood, the Vatican and churches today is child sex trafficking.

  33. Is it ok for a pastor to receive text from a female member at least weekly about various things? What if she talks and text pastor but not his wife?

  34. I enjoyed reading this article. I had a problem with the feeling of love for a long time. Being a victim of abuse from early childhood into my early 20’s made it extremely difficult to separate feelings of love towards others, especially men. In my broken mind, all love for men was the same, and they all only wanted one thing. As the Lord worked on me, I was able to receive love in small doses more and more from others as it should have been taken. Before my heart was completely opened and I understood what love was supposed to feel like, I did develop a small crush on a pastor. I never said anything to him, nor do I believe that I gave him any clues to it. I dearly love his wife and my husband and would never dream of doing something like that. However, I am getting a feeling that he must have sensed it at some point because he really avoids me at times. I thought at first I was just being silly, but I have stood in the small lines of people greeting the pastor on the way out and when I get to him he will walk away. He has never been unfriendly to me and talks to when I talk to him. He has even counciled me and help me with studies before, always with his wife in the office. I would be absolutely mortified if somehow he figured out what I was going through (in a sense) and doesn’t understand the whole story and thinks that somehow I am pining for him (I am not), and would be even more mortified if he had spoken to his wife about it. How can I explain what was going on and how God healed my heart? and should I? Advise?

    • Don’t explain anything. No one has asked you anything, so just let it go. Treat him and his wife as any other Godly woman would, and continue on your way.
      If you spoke with him about what was going on (you had a crush on him at one point, but God has healed your heart) you would be putting that out on the table that you had had a crush on him.
      Let’s not introduce the subject so that it will be a “thing” and be discussed. So what if he seems to avoid you? Just mind yourself and continue on with the Lord. Drop it.

  35. Dear Pastor Joe,

    I am the wife of a pastor, who had gone through this several times. I need help. I like to know about pastor’s becoming predators.

  36. I felt the article was very good and helpful to those who want to hear. I would like one issue addressed not seen. I am a widow my husband died two years ago of cancer. I have been in church all my life and involved. I sense a change in the way I am treated and looked at by both men and women. I have pondered this change and asked myself where is the love and compassion for the widow in the church? Christ is alive and well and caring and my all and all. I can’t help but wonder if all this plays into the view of a single woman in the setting of a church. Regardless my walk with Christ is strong and I will continue to pray for the church. And in case you are wondering did I ask for council from the pastor the answer is no personally I sought refuge in the bible and Christ alone.

    • Cindy, the Lord never intended you to deal with these life-burdens “in the Bible and Christ alone.” That is why He put you and me in a church when He saved us. Please give your church a chance. Do not pridefully say you did not seek counsel from those God placed there for that very reason. — So many churches get this right. Help your church to do it. Perhaps before long, you could take the lead in starting a ministry to widows and widowers in your congregation.

    • A single woman must be a threat. She doesn’t have her own man. So she must be willing to take the pastor or any other willing man… or woman? Single women have super powers of seduction, you know. A man can’t treat her as a human, with A MIND. You are just dangerous. You know even the women talked about with the ‘lips that drip’ are whorish women! They truly are ‘ on the prowl. But a nice looking single or married woman isn’t necessarily a Jezebel! Jezebels are the ones We ALL have to look out for. That’s who Solomon was talking about. A man falls, embarrassingly, easy for them. David DEMANDED Bathsheba be brought to him. Who was the one to be avoided in this situation? Nathan said it best, ‘YOU are that MAN!’ I’m not dangerous and have ALWAYS felt left out, avoided and unheard. This whole concept of women being dangerous is really about men being dangerous because they see women ONLY sexually. I am SO MUCH MORE than pretty or simply female! I have a true friendship to offer! Like that is something to avoid. Sad. The problem is not the women. The problem is weak men. And distrustful men, of all women and themselves. It’s insulting to me and it should be to yourselves, to choose a problem and claim you were, somehow, seduced; taken against your own free will! I’d be ashamed. Are women really the weaker sex? You really make a good argument for it being so. Now here we go… All you men, listen, if a woman can do easily beguile you, scare you, are you focused on God and His love? OR YOURSELF? Hmmmmm

  37. Yes Pastor Joe
    there is a great need there. You see the needs that’s why you write and keep writing even when people with so many complex hurts and losses don’t understand or agree. One thing the Lord is teaching me is what it feels like to know real unrelenting trauma to your whole being because my child was only seven when daddy died and this loss of a father difficult but common to so many yet this loss seems to be lost on the church struggling itself against so many things so let us help the church; my prayer. I ponder if the church in a sense has loss the presence of a father too our heavenly Father; He has not gone anywhere of course but sometimes it feels very lonely. I tell my daughter all the time feelings lie; if we would listen I believe God would tell his church just that feelings lie you are not alone I am with you always.
    God bless you

  38. Hmm, well maybe you should write one titled “women, these are the 7 types of pastors to watch out for”. Unbelievable. Maybe sometimes it isn’t the person sitting across from you that’s the problem. I was pursued by my married pastor when I was only 18 and I was the one that said no!! No matter how much he tried, I said no! And to top it all off his punishment was pretty pathetic and he’s still preaching. This is just another example of why I’m right to stay away from the church.

      • I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. I’m glad you’ve written about that. I can’t seem to find it but that’s okay, it won’t change anything anyway.

        • The point (of my saying I’ve written that article) is that “Young Pastors: 7 Women to Watch Out For” was written perhaps 10 years ago, and it keeps getting reprinted and passed on. The comments I get from readers sound so much like yours, I unhappily say. So, I wrote the other article, and several others on related themes. But I keep getting vilified for the first one. — I’m a cartoonist, and cartoonists will tell you that they get attacked because “that drawing was oversimplified,” too simplistic, did not take into consideration blah-blah-blah, etc. Which is true, because one cartoon can do only so much. Same with one little article. It cannot cover all aspects, but tries to deal with one. Anyway, God bless you, and thanks for commenting.

          • I didn’t mean to vilify you, but if I’m being honest I did mean to vilify the message because due to the acts of my pastor I feel like I’ve been ripped off. Even if it isn’t all 100% true, it would have been great to not have my beliefs shattered, I’m pretty sure it changed the trajectory of my life. So my knee jerk reaction is “it’s usually the pastor that’s the problem” which I realize isn’t sound logic. Again I apologize and wish you well.

          • And by “even is if’s not 100% true” I was referring to Christianity, not the acts of the pastor. Those were 100% true and just straight up wrong.

  39. I am a woman and I love this because it is instructive and informative. I have seen promising ministries run down by women. I have seen promising young male ministers whose ministries were destroyed by women.
    A woman has the capacity to build and to destroy, unless a woman is full of GOD she can pitch her tent with darkness and tear down a promising ministry.
    Who is castigating Joe about this article?
    Such woman has no idea or experience of the damaging consequences of a young male minister pitching his tent with a seductress or potential seductress so to speak.
    The Lord Jesus warned a young minister in his revelations “beware of women”
    If the Lord Jesus could give such warnings I wonder what some women are criticising this article for or are they part of the problem and so cannot bear to peruse this article with an open mind, digest its content and earnestly travail for the young promising ministers so that they won’t be victims of the seductress.
    Thank you Joe for this article
    GOD bless you!

  40. Hi, my name is tj. I have a question.
    My friend Divine who is 15 years old has a crush on her pastor who is maybe 13-15years older than her. Her dream is to marry a pastor. She told me about it. I can’t give her an answer. Please help me… What do I say to her?

    • You can’t give her an answer? HOw about: Stop it! A dream to marry a pastor is fine, but not the present pastor. I assume he has a family. Another thing you can do with her is to warn her about the dangers of letting him know of her crush. An immature pastor (regardless of age) might take advantage of her. In addition to the harm that causes her, he is committing a felony and can go to prison as a sex offender. — My experience is that she will grow out of this crush if she is patient, stays busy at other things, and dates boys her age.

  41. Thank you so much Pastor Joe! In as much as I’m excited I’m finding this article, I’m equally sad I’ve fallen prey already, and it breaks my heart. I’m finding this article because I see many girls in my church going the same line and they clearly can’t see it so I wanted to read on it and I chanced on this. Probably the tag of a Pastor is blinding them. Sadly, my Pastor isn’t married, and I think it makes it easier for him to get away with it, considering he’s a branch pastor and no one is directly watching and checking on him. I’m honestly heartbroken. I still amaze myself because I’m wondering why sometimes I and many ladies can’t simply dissociate, say no or be firm about what they don’t like. We rather pride ourselves in having a close relation with our pastor when we forget that it’s the same with other ladies; we’re not so special like that. he takes advantage and the girl gets hurt later. When new ladies join the church, that’s my heartache; the cycle is likely to repeat…this action on the pastor’s side is very intentional and deliberate

    • Oh my, Joy. As you say, it’s not only “seven women we have to watch out for,” but pastors also can become predators on women, particularly young and vulnerable ones. This is so painful to even discuss. I hope you can share your concern with the lead pastor, the person who should be monitoring this “branch pastor.” Surely they would not condone such behavior.

  42. Im a pastors wife. Ive experienced flirting to and from my husband. We discussed and he doesn’t see it.
    2 situations hes gotten in the church he is now residing as pastor. I brought to his attention then he admits that situations are out of the way, but of course its always the woman doing it in his eyes.
    One younger lady waited until most of congregation had left then she approached him at the door then she comes by. I heard her say give me a hug and that got my attention.
    Another was having surgery and told my my husband pastor very personal things about her body. This has caused flirtation but my husband says shes chummy.
    He knows and has admitted some things are inappropriate on her part.

    Its like he needs attention. He says counseling hasnt helped him. He even called one a monster because she called him out. She told him he wasnt being honest. He wasnt and i told her that. She was getting to him and he didn’t want to admitt he has issues.

    This is our second marriage and i never dreamed id experience this with him. My first husband committed adultery and in a sense i feel this one is but in my face.

    Women look at pastors as perfect husband picture but i can say…..NO! THEY ARE THE WORSE.

    My husband has deep issues but won’t except he does!!

    • girl get out!! u deserve better. some pastors are the worst cause they’re so narcissistic. don’t worry. god won’t send u to hell for divorce b/c his bum ass son is messing with ur head!!

  43. I am from Mumbai, India
    I have been working in Mumbai city for the past over 40 years with reputed Builders.
    I was Director of globally reputed Lodha Group – real estate developers in Mumbai and London.
    Wish to know more about your good Church.
    I am looking out for a tieup with our Prayer cum Healing centre in Goa, India.
    Francis Sequeira Mumbai India Cell +919987771461
    kindly send email on

  44. Also, men need to be aware of pornography. It being adultery is something they need to get set free from. This is also not being faithful to one’s wife. It’s good to protect one from physical adultery, but it’s equally as important to protect one from inner adultery. Porn itself has destroyed, many marriages.

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