{"id":22049,"date":"2021-04-10T08:46:04","date_gmt":"2021-04-10T13:46:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/?p=22049"},"modified":"2021-04-10T08:46:04","modified_gmt":"2021-04-10T13:46:04","slug":"trouble-in-the-pulpit-the-angry-pastor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/trouble-in-the-pulpit-the-angry-pastor\/","title":{"rendered":"Trouble in the pulpit: The angry pastor"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cNow, in the last days, difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self\u2026boastful, arrogant, revilers\u2026ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited\u2026. Avoid such men as these.\u201d (II Timothy 3:1-5)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Veteran Christian workers get this a lot. People tell you of a conversation with you from years ago in which you spoke words that changed their lives.\u00a0 You were God’s gift to them that day, or, just as likely you infuriated them and they have not been able to get past it.<\/p>\n

The problem is you don’t remember any of it.<\/p>\n

My daily e-mail brought two such messages, one of each kind. A young minister was thanking me and an older pastor was venting. The conversations had occurred some ten years earlier.\u00a0 I remembered neither.<\/p>\n

The older pastor told of the time he sat in my office, seeking guidance for entering the ministry. According to him, I had asked what kind of church position he was interested in.\u00a0 That was the harmless little question that had ticked him off and fueled his anger for a full decade.<\/p>\n

\u201cI was morally outraged by the question,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The issue,\u00a0 he said, was doing God\u2019s will, not what he was interested in.<\/p>\n

Morally outraged.\u00a0 That’s what he said.<\/p>\n

I could not have been more surprised than if my question had given him a sudden craving for chocolate ice cream.\u00a0 One seems to have little to do with the other.<\/p>\n

We never know what is going to set someone off.<\/p>\n

Unresolved anger is a scary thing. One never knows when it\u2019s going to rear its ugly head, who it\u2019s going to victimize, and what price the perpetrator may be forced to pay as a result of\u00a0the damage he causes.
\n<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

A minister harboring unresolved anger is a ticking time bomb capable of doing a lot of damage to a great many people. What\u2019s worse, it will all be done in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.<\/p>\n

The angry pastor will poison his relationships with staff members, with the deacons, with anyone coming to him with a plea for help, and particularly with anyone bringing a criticism to him.<\/p>\n

I put this question to a group of ministers: \u201cWhat does an angry pastor do?\u201d\u00a0 As they talked, I took notes…<\/p>\n

\u2013Angry pastors take their aggression out on their staff.<\/p>\n

\u2013They drive people away from the church.<\/p>\n

\u2013Their preaching is harsh and graceless. They become \u201cclubbers\u201d from the pulpit, clobbering people with the Word.<\/p>\n

\u2013They become vindictive, unforgiving, interested in payback.<\/p>\n

\u2013The pulpit becomes a place to vent, to accuse, to belittle, to defend.<\/p>\n

\u2013He is harsh to his wife and stern and unloving to his family.<\/p>\n

\u2013He blames others for his failings.<\/p>\n

\u2013He beats the sheep instead of feeding them.<\/p>\n

\u2013He becomes bitter and sarcastic. \u201cAll sarcasm is rooted in anger.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u2013He crushes the hearts and spirits of the congregation.<\/p>\n

A\u00a0good pastoral counselor can be\u00a0such a person\u2019s\u00a0best friend.\u00a0 We said a \u201cgood\u201d one, please notice.\u00a0 The last thing an angry minister needs is a passive non-directive counselor who will nod and repeat back his own statements. He must have someone who will look him in the eye, call a spade a spade, and hold him accountable for his misbehavior.<\/strong><\/p>\n

This kind of counseling can be painful, may be expensive, and could require numerous sessions over many months. Furthermore, it takes a severe toll on the counselor himself. An hour with an angry person completely drains the counselor.<\/p>\n

Typically, the bitter minister will not be going for counseling, however. The problem is everyone else, not him.\u00a0 The world needs to change, not him. Woe to the poor soul who ventures to suggest he get counseling for his problem.<\/p>\n

When a pastor (we\u2019re talking about any minister) admits to his anger problem and seeks out a pastoral counselor, he has taken a major step in the right direction. But to say he\u2019s \u201chalfway there\u201d would be simplistic.\u00a0Not by a long shot.\u00a0 He has a long road ahead, but the people who love him most and believe in him strongest will cheer him on and will be there to celebrate with him at the end.<\/p>\n

At a gathering of pastors from across denominational lines in our city, various ministers were sharing prayer concerns. An African-American woman said, \u201cI am the pastor of Phillips Memorial United Methodist Church. We are in trouble. In recent days we have learned that our church is built over a toxic land fill. The poisons in the soil are endangering everyone. We are going to have to relocate our entire church. Please pray for us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Since I was pastoring a congregation that had ruptured a few years earlier, leaving a lot of members unhappy and quite a few angry, I made notes of her words.\u00a0 My church, I realized, was built on a toxic land fill.\u00a0 Anger was destroying the church.<\/p>\n

Anger will poison a congregation as surely as the worst toxins in the soil.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s bad enough when church members bring active, unresolved anger into the congregation. And it’s worse when the hosts of this disease are leaders of the church. But when the mad men are the pastors, all bets are off.<\/p>\n

From then on, it\u2019s all downhill.<\/p>\n

A search committee chairman called to get my opinion on a certain pastor in my area.\u00a0 Among the things I was able to tell him was this: In spite of a difficult pastorate where my friend was now serving, he had retained his joy in the Lord and a healthy perspective on ministry. He was angry at no one, and loves them all.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the kind of person I want as my pastor.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s the kind of pastor I want to be.<\/p>\n

One more thing…<\/p>\n

A friend suggested that Dr. Wayne Oates, longtime seminary professor in Louisville and widely acclaimed teacher of counselors, had something special to say on this subject in his book Behind the Mask<\/em>, published in 1987. The following are notes attributed to Dr. Oates\u2026.<\/p>\n

\u2013The angry pastor wants people to fear him. He is anti-social. Prides himself on his bluntness. Intimidation is his first tool of choice in relationships. He loves a good fight. His motto is \u201cI don\u2019t get angry; I get even.\u201d He\u2019s vindictive and people fear him, are afraid to confront him or cross him.<\/p>\n

\u2013Manipulation and coercion become his tools of conquest. Everything is about him.<\/p>\n

\u2013The question everyone asks is “How do we deal with him?”\u00a0 Answer:<\/p>\n

a) Tell him \u2018no\u2019 firmly and solidly. Don’t give in.<\/p>\n

b) Refuse to be frightened by him.\u00a0 Keep telling yourself he cannot hurt you.<\/p>\n

c) Use gentle humor with him. Gentleness is the believer\u2019s great strength, a lesson this bully has never learned.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cNow, in the last days, difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self\u2026boastful, arrogant, revilers\u2026ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited\u2026. Avoid such men as these.\u201d (II Timothy 3:1-5) … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[30,27,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-22049","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conflict","category-church-leadership","category-pastors"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22049","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22049"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22049\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22051,"href":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22049\/revisions\/22051"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22049"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22049"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/joemckeever.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22049"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}