What follows is the first two chapters of our book SIXTY AND BETTER: Making the Most of Our Golden Years. At the end, we’ll tell how to order the book.
CHAPTER ONE: (also known as the introduction)
I was sitting at home in front of the television one night. The phone rang. A voice said, “Sir, “I’m conducting a survey of people’s television-watching habits. It’ll only take three minutes.” I said, “Go ahead.”
“First,” he said, “What group are you in: 25 and under, 25 to 35, 35 to 45, 45 to 55, or 55 and up?”
I said, “That one.”
He said, “Which one?”
I said, “55 and up.”
Click.
He was gone.
It felt like the perfect illustration of the value our culture places on the older generation. You’re old? You don’t count. You’re a senior? Leave the game. You’re elderly? Is there someone else available?
But 55? Yikes. My oldest child Neil is that age. If he’s over the hill, what does that make me, his dad?
Our culture wants to take the most seasoned veterans in the room and mute them. To disarm the warriors who have fought life’s battles and stood the test of the years.
Not real smart.
Fortunately, you and I do not ask the world what role it wants us to play. We do not get our self-esteem from a poll or survey. We do not go up and down the street and question our neighbors on whether we should have a voice in today’s world.
We were created in the image of God. We were redeemed by the Lord Jesus Christ. We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
And none of that is up for a vote, friend.
Garson Kanin’s It Takes A Long Time To Become Young –which I read years ago and was never able to forget–was prompted by his alarm at how older people were being treated by businesses, lawmakers, and society as a whole. And, while we agree with his concern and applaud efforts to end what is called “ageism,” that is not the thrust of our little volume.
What concerns us–and hopefully bothers our readers–is seeing a lot of older people do that very thing to themselves. They marginalize themselves because they are getting up in years. They dismiss their importance because they’ve managed to hang on (and hang around) longer than many of their peers.
Think of the irony of that. They’ve been successful in living and working and holding on and as a result they lose their self-esteem? They conclude they no longer matter because they won the lottery?
Not real smart.
We all know people in their 50s, 60s, and beyond, who feel that since society wants to push them off the stage, somehow, they have surrendered all rights to a decent self-respect and a good life.
“I don’t count; I’m old,” you’ll hear them say.
Listen to their conversation. “I’m older than dirt,” one said the other day. Another said, “My granddaughter asked me, ‘Mimi, are you a hundred?'” The problem is that Mimi internalizes that and comes away feeling ancient instead of treasuring what should have been a precious moment.
Recently I was at Fort Bragg to speak at a prayer breakfast. The night before, Chaplain Wayne Scholle and his wife Lara took me to dinner with their children. At the end of the evening as we were saying our good-nights, the youngest child, five-year-old Elizabeth–as cute as God ever made any child–said to me, “Mister Joe. You…you…you are almost dead!” We had a good laugh. I gave her a hug and said, “Honey, I’m closer than I’ve ever been. But I’m not there yet.”
Suppose I had taken that child’s sweet little comment to heart. Imagine me growing despondent from something a child said. After all, to a five-year-old, seventy years and seven hundred years are pretty much the same.
So…
We’d like to say a few things to those of you who are moving into the stratosphere of life, piling up big birthday numbers, setting new family records for longevity!
Congratulations! You are a winner.
Count yourself blessed. Not everyone makes it to this age. Do yourself a favor and stop giving it such a negative spin. It’s perfectly fine to be 60. Or 70, 80, 90, whatever.
Look around at your classmates. Many of them were not so blessed as you.
Seize that age. Make the most of it. You’re younger than you will ever be again.
And hey–if it’s this much fun being 78 (our age at the moment), imagine what the 80s are going to be like!
Okay now…
Much of what follows is light-hearted and intended as fun. We’ve even dropped in some of my cartoons we thought you would enjoy. (Use them if you can. Print them out and turn them into place mats at your next senior luncheon. Use them on posters. To see a few thousand of my toons, go to the website for Baptist Press www.bpnews.net and click on comics.)
We–Bertha and Joe–are having the time of our lives right now. So, we don’t intend this book as a scholarly dissertation, but something from our heart to yours.
We hope it encourages you. If so, don’t let the book gather dust on a shelf, but pass it along after you’ve read it.
My friend Bruce Fields, in his 60s now (and probably more youthful than at any time in his life) does this. Over in Gainesville, Georgia, where he is on staff at the First Baptist Church, when he finishes a book, rather than add it to an already huge collection, Bruce looks around for someone who would enjoy it, and passes it on. They’re impressed, he does a good work, and life goes forward.
CHAPTER TWO. “LET’S MAKE THESE THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES!”
“It’s not how old you are; it’s how you are old.” –Groucho Marx.
Groucho was half-right. How old we are does matter for a lot of reasons. But how we handle our (ahem) advanced age is just as important. So, let’s give Groucho credit for being clever and almost right.
Now, I don’t want to get ridiculous about it. I’m not exactly in favor of creaking bones and loose teeth, of age spots, stooped shoulders, shortness of breath, or dementia. And yet…
There is so much to be said for these latter years of our earthly existence. We are having the time of our lives. At the moment, we’re both 78 years old. Widowed after 52 years of marriage–Bertha to Dr. Gary Fagan and Joe to Margaret Henderson–we met and married and bought a house in a lovely neighborhood and merged our furniture. We joined a local church and began meeting our neighbors. We’re loving life.
One of my favorite things is addressing senior groups. So far this year, I have spoken to seniors in the Mississippi cities of Canton, Summit, Hattiesburg, Clinton, Long Beach, Wiggins, Wynndale, Poplarville, Leakesville, and Philadelphia; in Texas at Alto Frio Campgrounds and Jacksonville; in Louisiana at Lake Providence; and in Alabama at Tuscumbia. Before the year is out, I’ll be addressing seniors in York, Alabama, Columbus, MS, and Atlanta, GA.
Often when addressing seniors in churches, I’ll begin like this…
Good morning! I’ve driven up from Jackson, Mississippi to congratulate you on the two greatest blessings of your life. Number one, you’re saved. You’ve been forgiven of your sins, you are a child of the King, the Lord Jesus Christ has received you into His forever family, you are going to Heaven! And number two…
You’re old.
They laugh. I pause, then say: Most of us in this room can remember friends who would have given all they own to have lived as long as we have lived. To have seen their children grow to be adults; to have been there when they married, to have held their grandbabies in their arms. And some of us have had the privilege of seeing our grandchildren become adults. Of my eight grandchildren, at this moment all but one are in their 20’s. I am blessed. And so are you.
Later in the message, I’ll say a special word to these seniors who love to grip and complain. We’ve all met them.
“Now, if you want to feel bad and worry about the future, there are actually reasons to do so. In fact, I’ll give you four. Number one, you’re old. Number two, you’re getting older. (They’re smiling by now. They know I’m putting them on.) Number three, you’re going to die. And number four, chances are before you die you will have a lot of medical problems and medical bills.
So, if you want to worry and feel bad about the future, get on with it. There are very real reasons to do so.”
I pause to let that sink in, then continue…
However, most of us do not want to feel bad and worry about the future. We’d rather rejoice and be thankful. So, if that’s you–if you want to rejoice, Christian, I have good news for you. There are ten thousand reasons to do so…
–We are saved, born again, washed in the blood of the Lamb, adopted into the family of God. We are new creatures, old things have passed away, all things have become new!
–Our sins are gone, they’re underneath the blood of the cross of Jesus Christ, as far removed as darkness is from dawn. In the sea of God’s forgetfulness. Furthermore, there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus!
–God is alive, Jesus Christ is on the throne, and the Holy Spirit is with you. He indwells you, overshadows you, goes before you, comes behind you, undergirds you, and has promised never to leave nor forsake you!
–God has given you the Holy Bible to guide you, a church family to nurture you, instructions on how to serve Him in this life, and promises that are out of this world.
–-God has given us work to do in this world and promised us that greater works than He did shall we do too!
–He has promised to prepare a place for us, a kingdom prepared from the foundation of the world. It is the Father’s house, an inheritance incorruptible, undefiled, that fades not away, reserved in Heaven for you, and you are kept by the power of God unto salvation ready to be revealed at the last time!
Why aren’t you rejoicing?? So much to rejoice about.
Okay, slow down here…
We’re not rejoicing because we’re getting old. Or older.
We’re not rejoicing because our hair is turning grey. Or loose. We are not rejoicing because of infirmities and such, but rejoicing because He is faithful in the midst of whatever circumstances we find ourselves in.
We are people of faith in the living God. We rejoice regardless of how we are feeling today or what the doctor is saying about us or the condition of our bank account. We have far greater reasons to rejoice than we’ve ever had in our lives!
We rejoice because we have lived a long time, have loved a great many years, and have had time to see God do a thousand wonderful things. We rejoice because He is still at work in us and showing us delights we would never have recognized in our youth. And you can believe we rejoice because we are nearer than ever to the celestial blessings the Lord Jesus promised us.
We’re rejoicing because we’ve had the privilege of seeing our children become middle-aged and seeing most of our grands enter their 20s. Both our spouses of 52 years, Gary and Margaret, were denied this privilege, so you might say we’re doing double duty and enjoying it for them.
Remember that time when the disciples awakened the sleeping Lord Jesus in the boat? (It’s in Mark 4.) “Master, the storm is swamping the boat! We’re sinking! Wake up and do something!” Jesus awakened and stood up. Then, looking out at the storm He proceeded to rebuke the winds, rebuke the waves, and rebuke the disciples.
“Why did you fear?” He asked. “Where is your faith?”
What a great question. Two questions, in fact. Why did we fear? Where was our faith?
I’ve sometimes imagined that when we stand before Him at Judgment, the Lord might point out some of those critical moments of decision-making in our lives and then, to our everlasting embarrassment, ask, “What were you afraid of? Where was your faith?”
So, as you and I go forward–as the years accumulate and the birthdays pile up and threaten to get out of hand–let us not be afraid. The news ahead is all good, friend.
We are playing with house money. (Ask your brother-in-law what that means!)
The good news from Heaven is….
In Jesus Christ, we can’t lose. We are born again, a member of God’s family, and destined for Heaven. To all believers, Scripture says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ” (Romans 8:1). No condemnation. Imagine that. Our hearts may condemn us, and frequently do. Our memories work overtime to remind us of past failures and wrong deeds. But even if our hearts condemn us, even when we falter, our Lord remains faithful. Scripture actually says that (see 2 Timothy 2:13 and I John 3:20ff).
The question is how will we handle the future?
Suppose you are only middle-aged and wonder how you will handle the so-called golden years of life. Will you be cranky and negative? Always “agin” change and speaking of the good old days?
Actually, you and I are laying down clues all the time as to how we will handle the future. Consider this…
I used to wonder about the time when the Lord Jesus was walking the hills of Galilee, teaching the crowds and healing the sick. What would I have done had I been alive back then, I wondered. Would I have been among His devoted followers? Would I have ignored Jesus and gone on about my business? Or would I have joined the throngs yelling, “Crucify Him! Crucify Him!”
I think it’s possible to know the answer to that.
I would have done then exactly as I’m doing now.
If I’m ignoring Him now, I’d have done that in the First Century. If I’m opposing Him now and criticizing Christians and scoffing at the Scriptures, I’d have done the same thing then. But if I’m among the faithful now, loving and serving Him, sitting at His feet and taking in His word, I’d have been the same way 2,000 years ago.
The same principle applies to the business of growing old, I’m thinking.
If I am serving the Lord and praising Him and being faithful in my younger, healthier years, then it’s a fair bet that when I get older, I’ll do the same. The best clue on how I will handle infirmity is how I’m dealing with life now, right this minute.
If I’m happily married now–and I am–and loving my spouse and friends when all is well, then it’s a safe bet that I’ll feel the same way if and when the life processes begin to close down, and I become resident in the nursing home or become homebound.
If I’m being faithful with my finances now, honoring God and blessing others, then I expect to be able to do that in my last years on the planet.
The best indicator of how I would handle poverty is the way I’m dealing with the money I have now.
The best indicator of how I would handle my days and nights in a nursing home is how I’m doing in my comfortable middle-class home.
We all make choices every day. Our circumstances change, and the choices vary from day to day. How we choose to live today tells volumes about how we’ll do tomorrow.
I choose to rejoice. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
I’m not passively going into the future. I’m actively serving the Lord and loving this life and the people in it.
So! If we can help a few others to do the same thing we will count that a great privilege. Someone whom we may never meet this side of Heaven may find something helpful in this little volume. And wouldn’t that be wonderful.
That’s our prayer.
(There are 12 chapters in this book, and a number of “senior” cartoons I’ve done. The book is $20. If you order one copy, include 3 or 4 dollars for postage. If you order multiple copies, we could probably give you a discount, so contact me. Text me at 504-615-2190.
My mailing address is 203 Garden Cove, Ridgeland, MS 39157. Oh, and my Venmo # is @Joe-McKeever-7.)