I hope Jeff didn’t take it personally. When the phone rang tonight and Jeff on the other end said he was taking a radio listening survey, I reluctantly told him to go ahead. “What stations have you listened to in the last week?” I said, “WWL.” He said, “WW-what?” “WWL.” “WWL. Is that AM or FM?” I said, “You’re calling about the New Orleans stations and you don’t even know what WWL is?” Jeff said, “I don’t listen to radio much. I just do this for a living.” I said, “It’s AM. And I listen to WWNO. That’s FM.” Jeff said, “FM?” “Right. FM.”

Then he said, “Which one do you listen to most?” I said, “WWL.” He repeated that and said, “Is that FM or AM?” I am not believing this guy. “I just told you,” I said. “I know, but I entered it into the computer and it’s gone.” “AM.” “WWL-AM. Is that right?” Right. “And which one do you listen to second most?” I said, “The other one.” “What other one?” “I only gave you two stations. One was WWL.” “I have to hear the answers from you, sir. I can’t help you.” “WWNO-FM.”

Jeff fed that into his computer and then said, “May I ask your age?” No. “May I ask your age range?” Nope. “Well, that completes our survey.” Thanks, Jeff.

I’m still smiling about that bit of foolishness, probably because it calls to mind the time I came out on the short end of a similar call. A caller claimed he was surveying television viewing in homes and could I give him three minutes. I agreed and the conversation went exactly like this.

“First, could you tell me your age range? Are you between 25 and 35, 35 and 45, 45 and 55, or 55 and up?” I said, “That one.” “Which one?” “The last one, 55 and up.” “Thank you, sir.” Click. He hung up. That was the entire survey. He found out I was in the elderly decrepit group of TV-viewers and demonstrated so eloquently that no one cares what seniors are watching. We already knew that, but this was as much confirmation as one would ever need.

I took out my frustration on Jeff tonight. Poor Jeff, trying to do a difficult job with elderly senile radio listeners.

Speaking of silliness, we now have 20 candidates for the New Orleans mayor’s office, with the election coming up April 22. In addition to “Chocolate City’s Willy Wonka” Ray Nagin, the incumbent, we have two major contenders, Ron Forman and Mitch Landrieu. Forman heads up the Audubon Institute and has been a visible community go-getter for a couple of decades. Mitch Landrieu’s father Moon was the last “White” mayor of New Orleans, and his sister Mary is our senior U.S. Senator. Mitch is the Lieutenant Governor, a weak office in Louisiana devoted primarily to promoting tourism and the movie industry. After these three, the slate goes downhill fast.

Reverend Tom Watson is running. He leads a church called Watson Memorial–named for himself? I don’t have a clue–and has built a reputation for loving the limelight and federal dollars for his faith-based ministries. Lawyer Rob Couhig, the owner of our Triple-A baseball team, the N.O. Zephyrs, is running. Peggy Wilson who, as a city councilwoman some years back built a reputation as a thorn in the mayor’s side, is running again…again. James Arey is in the race. He plays classical music on our NPR station, but the paper calls him a “radio personality.” If he is, he’s kept it a secret. Beyond all these, we have an array of lawyers, financial planners, former politicians, and community activists. All complete unknowns. And one more, the surprise of the day, Kimberly Williamson Butler. What a piece of work she is. She’s Black, attractive, articulate, and apparently, a loose cannon.

Three years ago, Mayor Nagin fired Ms. Butler whom he had brought in to be second-in-command in his office. She sued him for discrimination of some kind, but it was promptly thrown out. To get revenge or satisfaction, Ms. Butler ran for and won election as Clerk of Criminal District Court. A lot of people say the sympathy vote put her into office. It might have elected her, but it could not help her do her job. Almost immediately she was in trouble.

In the September 2004 election, Butler failed to deliver voting machines on time to 90 precincts, throwing the outcome of the entire event into question. When confronted, she blamed Hurricane Ivan which did not hit our area. Then she blamed Secretary of State Fox McKeithen for not canceling the election due to the hurricane that missed us. Next, she attacked Mayor Nagin who was glad, she said, that she was receiving all the bad press, and she just knew that enemies were conspiring against her. She actually said someone might have paid off the truck drivers not to deliver the machines. Finally, she took the blame and then bragged about how her apology showed her to be a real woman, able to admit when she’s wrong.

But wait. It gets better. Or worse, depending on your point of view.

Recently, she’s been running from the sheriff’s deputies. What happened was that the criminal evidence room, which her office is assigned to maintain, took a lot of damage from Katrina and she needed help in getting it in order. Plus, the office’s FEMA application had stalled, and she herself told the judges for whom she works she needed help with it. Their mistake was in taking her at her word.

The judges assigned one of their number, Ed Lombard, to take over the evidence room and the FEMA application. Problem is, Judge Lombard is Kimberly Williamson Butler’s predecessor in the Clerk’s office and she was highly offended by his choice. She refused to let Lombard in the office or to give him the materials for the application. Back to the judges. They issued a warrant for her arrest and ordered Lombard to proceed with or without her cooperation. That’s when Butler disappeared. For days, her office said she was “out of the area.”

The judges ordered the sheriff to actively seek to arrest her. Meanwhile Butler goes on radio talk shows and defends herself. “As chief election officer of the parish, that has to be my number one priority. I cannot pull off the April 22 election in jail.” As for the judges, well, “They’re asking me to turn over my authority.”

In Friday night’s news, the soap opera plot thickened. First, Butler showed up in court and the judges did not have her arrested. Then she walked outside and announced she was now running for mayor. “I’ve always had that in mind,” she said. She explained that before she went into politics, she worked for 20 years in a field she called “revitalization.” “And this is a city that needs revitalization!”

Jarvis DeBerry, who is also African-American, writes a regular column in our paper and said of Ms. Butler, “Richard Kimball she ain’t,” referring to the old Fugitive television series in which Kimball is accused of murdering his wife, but keeps insisting a “one-armed man” did it. DeBerry writes, “She murdered her own political career and she’s soon going to have to deal with the consequences.”

An expert on local politics was asked tonight why some of these people are running for the mayor’s office. He said, “It’s a lot of great publicity for only $750,” the qualifying fee. With the short campaigning time, anything could happen, and some candidates want the exposure for their businesses. It all reminds me of high school in the late 1950s when the class goof-offs would nominate their buddies for leadership positions just for the fun of it. They got lots of laughs but it all reflected poorly on our class and the school.

There is a time for fun and a time for work. If we can’t tell the difference, we’re in a lot of trouble.

I’m preaching this Sunday at all three morning services of the First Baptist Church of Madison, Mississippi, where John Temple is pastor and my dear friend and mentor James Richardson served so ably for many years. These are great people and I’m excited about the invitation. Keith Manuel made up a 5 minute power point collection of his New Orleans photos which we will throw onto the screens early in my message. I will try to be aware that, being in Mississippi, a state that was hard hit by the same hurricane that dealt us so much damage, these good people are probably tired of hearing about it. Perhaps I can bring them some good news for a change. That’s my earnest prayer and my full intention.

UPDATE from the Saturday, March 4, 2006, Times-Picayune.

When Kimberly Williamson Butler showed up in court Friday, she faced a judge madder than anyone has ever seen him. Chief Judge Calvin Johnson said he nearly yelled at her from the bench, then ordered her to reappear Monday at 9 am to face contempt of court charges. She could go to jail or face some kind of censure.

Ms. Butler, ever the self-promoter, announced that she had “grown” during her days of absence from her office. After being fired from the mayor’s office in 2003, she said, she could relate to people losing their jobs. “Now all of a sudden, I’ve had to stand in court, and I can identify with people that had to stand in court….I can identify with people who have been falsely accused. I can identify with people who have made mistakes and had to stand before judges.” All of which qualifies her to be mayor, presumably.

“I don’t think I’m the right person for clerk of court,” she said. “I think I’m the right person for mayor.”

Bernie Pinsonat of Southern Media and Opinion Research commented, “With all the things New Orleans is being attacked for, she just throws out a big sign, ‘We’re nuts! Everything you have said about us is correct.’ As she tries to avoid jail, she qualifies for mayor–and a straitjacket.”

One of the judges commented, “Y’all better call Frank Minyard and have her committed,” an allusion to the coroner’s authority to commit someone to a mental hospital. He added,”Well, at least she won’t be the clerk. That’s the good news.”

The ballot for the April 22 primary will be jammed. Apparently, New Orleans has lots of people looking for work who see election to office as the remedy for their situation. The mayor’s race now has 23 candidates, and a total of 116 names will be on the ballot for the 20 races. New Orleans politics has always been a soap opera, but never more than now.

They’re demolishing 120 ravaged homes in the Lower 9th Ward. Yesterday, Congressional leaders Dennis Hastert and Nancy Pelosi and others toured the area. Pelosi called it a “challenge to the national conscience.” In another news item, homeowners hoping for federal grants to help them rebuild will have to wait until summer before they know whether the funding of up to $150,000 per home will be available. The disaster aid has been tied to the larger budget bill.

City Park in New Orleans is showing signs of life, particularly with the reopening of the Museum of Art. And they’re reopening LaFreniere Park in Metairie which has been a dumping ground ever since Katrina. The material has been hauled off and some walks are in use now.

And our Jefferson Parish library is reeling under the load of a world of donated books from around the country. Pallets of old, outdated books were shipped down here to help replace damaged books. However, the library already had plans to clean their own house of uncirculated books. Starting March 20, the West Napoleon branch–the big new one, the one we love so much–will be giving away books. Right. Giving them away. I can’t wait and my wife is horror-stricken. “Wherever will we put more books?” she wonders, while I salivate. We bibliophiles do not concern ourselves with mundane matters like where will we actually store these books; we just get them.

Paper says during Mardi Gras, New Orleans handed out over 11,000 traffic citations, in most cases for parking in restricted areas. Citizens have yelled to high heaven about being allowed to park on the neutral (median) areas of St. Charles Avenue since no street cars are running, only to return and find yellow tickets on their windshields. It figured out to 736 citations written per officer. Somebody is working overtime. At $75 per ticket, a lot of people are angry. That’s some kind of parking violation.