Today, I picked up the phone and called the service number for my gasoline credit card. The last few times I’ve used it, “see attendant inside” came up on the screen. And the last time, the clerk inside said, “This card has been canceled, sir.”

The only thing I could figure is that since I pay the card off each month, they’re not making any money off me and decided to cut me free. But, I thought, let’s find out. So I dialed the number.

“Sir, we show a security hold put on the card. Just a minute and I’ll connect you with someone in security.”

A moment later, a lady with a heavy foreign accent came on. Direct from Calcutta, I imagine. “Sir,” she said, “the computer froze your account because it shows you purchased gasoline from a Shell station you don’t usually use.” I said, “Which one?”

She said, “The one on Jefferson Highway in Harahan, Louisiana.” I said, “Ma’am, that’s the one closest to my house. It’s the main one I use.”

She had no idea why, she said, and promised to activate the card immediately.

I said, “But are you telling me every time I use a station I don’t usually frequent, it’s going to stop the account? Because I travel a lot. I logged nearly 3,000 miles in the last two weeks.”

She said, “And did you use this card?” I said, “No. You had frozen it.”

“Well, I’m sorry, sir. The computer blah blah blah.”

I was not aggressive, on the one hand, or passive on the other.

I was assertive.

Assertiveness is a good skill to have to function in this world. It means to (ahem) assert yourself, to express what you are feeling, to inform the people around you of something important to you even if it makes them unhappy.

Have you ever seen a non-assertive pastor? They’re fun to observe, if you like disaster movies and car crashes.

The non-assertive pastor exhibits some (but not all, let us hope!) of the following traits:

He will try to please everyone.

“I don’t want to make Mrs. Powell unhappy, so we’ll just ignore her bossy attitude. She pulls a lot of weight in the church.”

“Honey, I can’t take Junior to his Little League game tonight. The fellowship hall decoration committee wants me there for their meeting.”

He will let others dictate his schedule.

“Pastor, I know it’s your day off, but Mama is going into the hospital tomorrow for her ingrown toenail treatment and I told her I knew you’d want to run by tonight and have prayer with her.”

“We scheduled you to pray at the school board luncheon next Thursday, pastor. I told them I was sure you could do it.”

He will become a doormat for the bullies in the congregation.

“The Bible says you are to serve the congregation and we are the congregation. So, let’s hear no more about your needing an off day.”

“What is this about you needing a raise, pastor? You’re making the same Pastor Perry made when he was here 10 years ago. I suppose you think you’re better than him.”

He will avoid sermon subjects that might actually apply to his hearers.

In tobaccoland, he will never mention smoking. In whiskeyland, he stays away from alcohol. In affluent churches, he skips over materialism and greed. In certain areas of the rural South, he will avoid racism and prejudice.

He may then in turn, take out his frustrations on his family inside the home.

A normal person can keep his emotions bottled up only so long. Eventually, they have to find an outlet. Pity the family dog–or the family itself–when they do.

A pastor friend has a dog he named “Deacon.” I’m afraid to ask if he takes his frustrations out on that poor animal.

Draw a line across the page. Think of it as a continuum. To the far left, write “Withdrawn” and to the far right, “Aggression.” For our purposes here, those will be the two extremes, both to be avoided at all costs.

No pastor who withdraws from contact with other humans will be effective. Nor will he succeed by expressing aggression. The goal is to land somewhere in between these two.

But where? is the question.

Withdrawn….Shy (Passive)….Reserved….Confident….Assertive…Aggressive.

Where on this line would you place yourself?

Now, I’m a pastor and not a psychologist. But here are my own conclusions on this subject:

1. We are all naturally reserved.

Those who know me, who see how I begin conversations with strangers, who watch me walk up to total strangers and ask if I can sketch them, would never believe that I am shy or reserved.

In childhood, when the teacher invited anyone who had read a good story recently to come to the front and tell it, I would walk to the front, turn to my classmates, and make up a story on the spot. Definitely not the activity of a shy person.

But we are all shy. Everyone has these natural reserves that make us want to pull back and not have to deal with strangers.

It’s just that most of us have worked to overcome those tendencies in order to function more effectively in this world.

Can a shy person pastor a church? Yes, but only by taking control of those forces that want him to withdraw into his shell.

2. But we come into this world assertive.

An uncomfortable baby–hungry, wet, whatever–will let you know. The infant speaks up. To my knowledge, no healthy baby has ever arrived on the planet with the desire to please anyone but itself. Call it a survival technique, because it works.

So, are #1 and #2 contradictory? Probably. But they’re still true, for my money.

3. Those who gravitate toward one end or the other of this line (they either withdraw completely or become hostile and aggressive) were probably made so by other people.

Pry into the background of the aggressive, hostile preacher and you will find someone lurking in the dark recesses of his memory who did a number on him. In his anger, he strikes out at all kinds of targets–sinners, hypocrites, the carnal, the fallen, the needy. Pity his loved ones; he tends to treat them worst of all.

The passive, withdrawn preacher was probably dominated by one or both parents and then by a succession of authority figures–teachers, principals, relatives, and eventually, perhaps even a spouse.

Both preachers–the withdrawn and the hostile–are blights on the work of the Lord. They may mean well, but their bad mental health will wreck every relationship they join.

4. For disciples of Jesus Christ, assertiveness is the ideal.

As Jesus was coming near Jericho, a certain blind man sat by the road begging. And hearing a multitude passing by, he asked what it meant. So they told him that Jesus of Nazareth was passing by. And he cried out, saying, “Jesus! Son of David! Have mercy on me.”

Then those who went before warned him that he should be quiet; but he cried out all the more, “Son of David! Have mercy on me!” (Luke 18:35ff)

Blind Bartimaeus, Mark calls him (Mark 10:46). The beggar of Jericho. A willing partner to an unwritten and unspoken contract: he would receive the castoffs of society–rags, crusts of bread, a few coins–but he was never to be noticed or heard.

Suddenly, the beggar learns that “Jesus is Nazareth is passing this way,” and everything inside him comes alive. Bartimaeus knew about Jesus from listening to travelers speak of His teachings and miraculous acts in other places. He listened to the elders of Jericho gathered at the city gates tell of previous times when Jesus had come this way on his trips to Jerusalem.

Bartimaeus came to two conclusions: Jesus was the Messiah, the “Son of David,” and the next time He came to Jericho, Bartimaeus would meet Him and give Him the opportunity to heal him.

And now, He is here.

A chill went up his spine. This is the moment he has anticipated for so long. He must not miss Jesus.

He had no way of knowing this was the Lord’s final visit to Jericho. Bartimaeus would never see Him again. It would be now or never.

And yet, people are shushing him. The beggar is violating the contract. He’s yelling.

Bartimaeus has to make a decision. He can be quiet and respectful, but he will miss seeing Jesus. Or he can speak up, take risks, even offend people who like things orderly, and come to Jesus.

I like to call the blind beggar “the smartest man in town.” He kept his mouth shut, he listened, he thought about what he heard, and he came to solid conclusions.

And today, Bartimaeus would meet Jesus.

So (when Jesus came within earshot), Jesus stood still and commanded him to be brought to Him. And when he had come near, He asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?” He (Bartimaeus) said, “Lord, that I may receive my sight.” Then Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has made you well.”

Immediately he received his sight, and followed Him, glorifying God.

5. Assertiveness is the stream that flows from the reservoir of courage.

Two things gave the beggar of Jericho courage to speak up: his faith in Jesus and his determination to be healed.

The Lord is unhappy when His servants retreat from their assignments out of fear for their audience. As He called Jeremiah into His service as a prophet, God said to the youth, “You will speak before kings and princes and the high and mighty. But you must not fear them. I warn you, if you get stage fright before them, I will humiliate you in front of them.” (My paraphrase of Jeremiah 1:17-18)

The Holy Spirit indwellling believers is our source of courage. The courage is our strength for facing our tasks.

6. A pastor will encourage his people to be assertive in order to function as Christians in this world.

It takes a certain amount of moxie–courage, inner strength, call it what you will–to do what the Lord wants from us.

And what does the Lord want His children to do? Here’s a quick list….

—To enlist. To do what Bartimaeus did and come to Jesus. Recently, in a large church where I was to preach twice that morning, as the assistant pastor baptized a young lady, he said, “It takes a great deal of courage to step out and walk the aisle in a large church like this.” I quoted him at both invitation times. He was exactly right.

—To resist. To say “no.” Swimming against the tide of public opinion, peer pressure, or cultural norms is unpopular and never easy, but that is often our assignment.

—To insist. Even in the face of discouragement from those around us, like Bartimaeus, we are commissioned to stand up for the right. We say “yes.”

—To persist. To hang in there when the going is uncomfortable and others are dropping out, to “be not weary in well doing,” is often our lot.

—To assist. We will sometimes be asked to come to the aid of an embattled servant of the Lord when others are afraid to stand by his side.

As with many other skills which servants of the Lord need, “assertiveness” will be a daily function of the Lord indwelling our hearts and reigning over each aspect of our lives.