Two pieces of mail arrived Monday afternoon that stood out from the advertisements and circulars.

The first was an oversize envelope from Congressman Bobby Jindal who has announced his candidacy for governor of Louisiana, hoping to succeed Kathleen Blanco who wisely decided not to try for a return engagement. The outside of the envelope shouts in bold red letters: “Photograph enclosed. Do not bend.” My natural impulse was to toss it in the trash, but it’s hard to do that with a photograph. Let’s see what we’ve got here.

Inside was a nice 4 x 6″ color photo of our congressman and his lovely Supriya, smiling up at me like I’ve just pronounced them husband and wife. Accompanying the photo is a letter back to Bobby which they’ve gone to the trouble of writing for me. Aren’t they accommodating?

“Dear Bobby, Thank you for sending my personalized photograph of you and Supriya. I will display it proudly as a part of your campaign leadership team. I agree our state needs a fresh start. Enclosed is my gift of:” and then I have my choice of marking $1,000 or $500 or even several lesser amounts.

Underneath all that, I can check one of the following: “My photograph arrived in good condition” or “My photograph is damaged. Please send a replacement.” And below that is a long list of jobs which I can volunteer for.

I mean, what nice folks, making it so easy for me to give away my money and commit my time and energy. And did you notice how smoothly they transitioned from talking about the photo to volunteering me for his campaign team?

The other piece of mail was not even that up front with its identity and purpose. In fact, the only thing found on the face of the envelope other than my name and address was this: “Warning: $2,000 fine, 5 years imprisonment, or both for any person interfering or obstructing with delivery of this letter. U.S. Mail TTT.18 SEC. 1702 U.S. Code.”

Wow. This must be important, right? Of course, all they’ve done is warn the recipient of the penalty for interfering with the delivery of the U.S. mail, as though any sane person would want to do that.

Inside, the letter is even stranger. The heading identifies the sender as “Department of Records; Restructure and Disbursement Division.” Which might lead the unsuspecting recipient to think he’s getting mail from the state agency in charge of handing out money to the owners of hurricane-damaged property.

Read the first paragraph and you’ll think it even moreso: “We have been trying to contact you regarding an important matter. Our records indicate that after review of your census tract, we have determined that you now meet the pre-qualifications to take part in our restructure and disbursement program.”

Say what? No matter. Read on.

“Some programs are without the usual restrictions on credit, income or employment status. Benefits of the new program include but are not limited to”–and here they switch to all caps–LOWER MONTHLY PAYMENTS, CONVERSION OF ADJUSTABLE RATE MORTGAGES TO FIXED RATES, CONSOLIDATION OF DEBT, HOME IMPROVEMENT FUNDS, AND OR CASH OUT DISBURSEMENTS.”

Okay, at this point you’re beginning to catch on. Then it gets fuzzy again.

“In accordance and compliance with the State of Louisiana, arrangements have been made that will allow distribution of funds to you via secure wire or priority overnight delivery within 72 hours of closing. It is very important that you respond to this notice immediately by calling the disbursement department at 1-877-610-7778. This program has been sanctioned for only a four-week period and will expire on 7/15/07.”

Finally, they add: “Our records indicate that you have not responded to our previous attempts to notify you of your eligibility.”

All of that legal mumbo-jumbo–and it turns out to be nothing more than an attempt to get me to take out a loan from their company. In the finest of print at the bottom, we’re told: “This offer is made by [Redacted] Home Mortgage LLC. [Redacted] is not an agency of the federal government.”

Does anyone smell a rat here? The money-lenders are trying to sneak in the front door of the unsuspecting and fatigued homeowner who has grown weary of letter after letter from government agencies about grants that are available and applications that need more information, in order to hoodwink our people into borrowing their money, doubtless at a high rate of interest.

One wonders what kind of people these are who would resort to such tactics.

We’re reminded of the radio commercials for automobile dealers with their tag line of fast-talk, meant to satisfy the government that they gave all the facts up front, but not so the potential buyer actually understands what’s being said.

“Let the buyer beware” has always been good advice, and has never been more crucial for residents of our part of the world than now.

When the Lord Jesus was on trial before the godfather of high priests, Annas, the old man said, “Tell us what you’ve been teaching.” Jesus answered, “You can ask anyone who heard me. I had no secrets. Everything I had to say, I said out in the open.” For that, an officer slapped Him. The high priest was not accustomed to such transparency. (John 18:19-24)

No secrets. Transparent. Open and honest before the world. That’s the way Christ lived and worked and it’s how His people are to conduct their affairs. No smoke-filled rooms where dishonest people connive. No plotting and scheming to hoodwink the unsuspecting. Nothing to hide, nothing but love to offer.

It’s so liberating following the Man of Galilee.

(P.S. Bobby Jindal is by far the front-runner in all the polls. Evangelicals in Louisiana say he is a born-again Christian and a man of high integrity. I have no reason to doubt that, and do not mean to imply such by teasing his people in this blog about the mailing I received today.)