After 6 decades of ministry, I consider myself a veteran of pastor search committees.  In many cases, while I did not relocate to their church, I would have loved to have those committee members in my present church.  At in other cases, I’m glad the Lord did not choose to unite me with those folks and I have prayed for whoever did become their minister.

My friend Josh, who grew up in my last pastorate, is presently a medical student, following in his father’s footsteps. Josh is also a veteran of several game shows and quiz programs. At the age of 11, he was a contestant on Jeopardy.  Later, as a student at the University of Southern California, he hosted his own quiz program on the campus station.  He has been a contestant on Who Wants to be a Millionaire? as well as the Wheel and a number of other shows.

Josh and I were discussing the question that tripped him up on Millionaire.  It went something like this: “At 7’7″, So-and-so is the tallest player in the NBA.  But he is slightly shorter than what portion of the Statue of Liberty?”  The choices were her right arm, her eye, the tablet she is holding, and her finger.  Using his final lifeline, Josh asked a buddy to help him, and they missed it.

Josh said veteran contestants (like himself) have a name for that kind of question, but perhaps he shouldn’t tell his pastor.  I said, “Come on. Give.”

“We call that a go to hell question.”

“A go to hell question,” he explained, “relies on such fine detail that no reasonable person should be expected to know it.”

The idea, it seems, is to get those contestants out of the game.

And yes, pastor search committees have been known to pose GTH questions to their candidates.

Questions no one can answer 

Candidates for pastor will sometimes encounter questions designed to cull you from the herd, to stop this business in its tracks, to send the contestant home.

I asked a group of ministers to share the weirdest questions they had ever received from Pastor Search Committees.  Here is their response–

–“Why do you have no children?”

–“If someone dies, does the funeral time depend on your class schedule at seminary?”

–“If someone gives you tickets to a Saints game, do you expect us to pay your supply preacher?”

–“You aren’t gay, are you?”

–“How much does your wife weigh?”

–“Can you drive a tractor?”

–“What do you believe about election?” (The young man answered, “I believe everyone should have the right to vote.”)

–“Do you believe in open communion?” (He answered, “Sure. We could go outside in the fresh air.”)

–“Alabama or Auburn?”  (The candidate answered, “LSU.” Apparently, it was acceptable.)

–“Boxers or briefs?”  (That was asked in front of the choir, evidently for laughs. Whether it got one or not is beside the point.  Crude is crude, and the question betrays a great disrespect.)

–“Are you gonna do what we want you to do?”  (The pastor did not say how he answered, but I could hope he said something like “Is this a joke?” or maybe “Friend, you do not want a pastor who would take orders from the membership!”)

–“What do you think about women serving in ministry?” (The pastor wisely answered, “Most of our churches would have closed had it not been for faithful women serving.”)

–“Do you eat turnip greens?” (He answered, “With corn bread.”)

–“Does your wife play the piano?” (I cannot tell you how many pastors have been asked that. After one pastor’s wife replied “no,” the next question was whether she sang. When she said “no” to that, the questioner said, “Well, don’t you do anything?” Another pastor’s wife said after she replied “no” to whether she played the piano, the questioner said, “Are you sure?”)

–“Is your wife a big woman? She sounds like a big woman.”  (This was a phone conversation with the chairman of the search committee.)

–“Does your wife work?”

–“Should a church be deacon-led or pastor-led?”

–“Do you suck heads?” (This is a little inside joke about eating crawfish.  However, crude is crude and there is no way to excuse it.)

–“Which is more important–evangelism or discipleship?” (That’s like: Which part of the plane is more necessary, the nose or the tail.)

–“Who in the Bible are you most like?” (When the candidate answered, “Jesus, of course,” the questioner registered his disapproval.  He had identified himself with Barnabas and felt any pastor worth his salt would do the same.)

–“How much will your wife’s tithe be?”

–“What do you preach about the rapture?” (The candidate found out later the previous pastor had preached on the rapture 7 months out of the year.)

–“How long are your sermons?  We don’t like long sermons.”

–“Can you minister to my son without taking up too much of his time?”

–“Have you ever done anything you wouldn’t want anyone to find out about?”  (The pastor answered, “Yes. Haven’t you?”  He found out later the previous pastor had been involved in a scandal.)

One pastor’s wife said they were met at the church door by a psychiatrist who introduced himself and said, “The committee has requested me to do a psychological evaluation on you before they meet with you.”

You can’t make this stuff up.

A minister who had just met with a committee shared with me some of the questions he fielded:

–“Will you continue doing things as our beloved former pastor did?”  (He said, “Probably not.  I’m not him.”)

–“What are your plans to grow this church?”  (He answered, “I don’t have any.  I’d have to get here and learn the church and see what the Lord has in mind.”)

–“Do you visit?” “Do you preach on hell?”  “Are you willing to learn?” “Do you receive constructive criticism well?” “Does your wife—?”

–And when they asked, “How will you vote in the upcoming election?” he answered, “None of your business.” (smiling, no doubt)

A few quick observations about these “GTH” questions….

–Such questions have a background.  Usually, the previous pastor did something unpopular for which the committee is trying to compensate.

–Such questions tell volumes about the committee.  If a member asks something out-of-left-field and no one looks concerned, you may assume he/she speaks for all.  If, however, they look surprised and a little embarrassed, take that as a good sign.  Most committees have one or two people who have no business being there.

–There is no way to prepare to answer a question you weren’t expecting.  Stay prayed up and trust the Lord to lead you when this happens. And do not beat yourself up if you think of a better answer later. Walk by faith; don’t look back.

–How a pastor answers a bizarre question tells a lot about him.  Often, he should simply say, “What do you mean?” or “I’m not sure I understand what you are asking” in order to let the questioner talk further. He should never hesitate to say, “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”  At times, the best response to an off-the-wall question is a smile. And silence.

–For my money, the weirdest question above is the one asking how much money the pastor’s wife makes.  Well, that and the one asking if his wife is a large woman.  Both are jaw-droppers.  To the first, I would say, “I’ll make a deal with you.  Everyone in here tell how much your spouse makes and I’ll tell you what my wife makes.  How’s that?”  (I can promise you, they will not go for that. And, most of them will see the question for what it is, sheer foolishness.)  As to the other–whether the wife is a large woman–the best response is silence and then, “Was there anything else you wanted to ask?”

I have a suggestion for pastors who are thrown an obvious “GTH” question:  Since you know this is the end and you are not going to survive this–nor do you want to!–I suggest you look around the room and say, “Does the rest of the committee agree with this question?”  If they do, I would answer it truthfully and plainly, “with the bark off,” as they say.  Tell them in plain language how you feel about the issue they have raised. Then, at the end, say, “I think we’re through here.” And get up–do not sit there waiting for them to make nice–gather your materials, and walk out. 

Pastors do a disservice to an off-the-track committee by not speaking bluntly when a plain-language answer could be the best thing that ever happened to them.

Tough love is so hard to administer sometime.  But so Christ-like and so life-saving.  It’s called “shaking the dust off” (Matthew 10:14).