In our Wednesday morning pastors meeting, I asked the African-American pastors how they were feeling after Barack Obama’s win last night. All answered with variations of, “Great!” One told me privately, “I feel the American people got the presidency back.” Another said, “I don’t just feel great for my people. I feel great for America right now.”

I rejoice with these friends and determine to pledge our new chief-executive my faithful prayer support. In fact, these are the most important days to pray for the new leader, when he’s making crucial decisions regarding his staff. Those who didn’t care much for Bush’s staff (Cheney, Rove, etc) will be the first to admit how critical it is that the president choose wisely. So much of the success or failure of his administration will be determined by the quality of the men and women with whom he surrounds himself.

One of the things I admire most about Senator and now President-elect Obama is his unflappability. Throughout this marathon campaign — far too long and much too costly — we’ve seen the candidates in every kind of trying situation. At no time did I see Obama lose his temper and come unglued. With the relentless attacks and unreasonable charges flying in all directions, that’s as good a compliment as I know how to give. He was as cool under attack as anyone I’ve ever seen.

The Wednesday edition of the Times-Picayune carries a feature about Bo Pellini, the first-year football coach at Nebraska. Lately he’s been losing his temper on the sidelines and cursing out his coaches and players. The reporter said YouTube has been playing excerpts, to the consternation of Cornhuskers far and wide. Someone in Bo’s family who can read lips confronted him with the way he is losing his cool and demeaning his colleagues and players. He admits to being chastened. “I’m working on my temper,” he claims.

Coach Pellini did not ask me, but I can tell him how to conquer a temper. I’ve been there.

In the early years of our marriage — that would be the mid-1960s during our seminary days — my temper was something to behold. It did not make an appearance often, but when it did, the news was all bad.

Two incidents stand out in my mind.

In one, I hit my wife. My children have never heard that and are reading it here for the first time. Later, Margaret would admit that she was goading me and brought it on herself. I don’t deny that she was taunting me, but that was no excuse for what I did. I doubled up my fist and hit her on the shoulder. Immediately, a massive sense of shame washed over me and I apologized intensely.

I never did that again. It even scared me. I’m ashamed of it today, but tell it here only in the hope that it might help someone.

In the other incident, along about the same time, I slammed my fist through the wallboard I was so out of control.

These two tantrums got my attention. This was unfit behavior for anyone, but particularly for a man going into the ministry. I recall thinking, “If I don’t get control of my temper, something bad is going to happen one of these days.”

The question was what to do?

I found the answer in Galatians 5:22-23, in the passage where Paul lists nine qualities he calls “the fruit of the Spirit.”

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control.” As any good Bible teacher can tell you, these qualities make up the personality of Christlikeness. And it’s important to point out that these are “fruit,” not “fruits,” meaning that the Holy Spirit will not produce just one in your life, but all nine as we grow in Him.

Self-control. What is its source and how do we get it? Answer: From the Holy Spirit being in control of our hearts.

So, wiser than my years, I suppose, for once I did the right thing. I determined to grow closer to the Lord and mature in my faith. I began to pray more earnestly and ask the Father to fill me with His Spirit and to grow me in Christ. I worked at becoming a better Bible student and more obedient in my personal life.

As I grew in Christ, to the best of my recollection, not once after that did I have a problem with temper.

The Greek word for self-control (“temperance” in the KJV) in Galatians 5:23 is “enkrateia.”Commenting on this text, John MacArthur says, “In His incarnation Christ was the epitome of self-control. He was never tempted or tricked into doing or saying anything that was not consistent with His Father’s will and His own divine nature.”

So, Coach Pellini, my advice to you is simply two things: give your heart to Jesus Christ and then work at growing in Him.

After all, bearing fruit takes time. We don’t plant seeds today and reap a crop tomorrow. In between the sowing and the harvest are weeks and months of cultivating and watering, of pruning and nurturing. Eventually, “in due season, we shall reap — if we don’t quit.” (Galatians 6:9)

In a lengthy church business meeting that was visibly aging me before the congregation, I became exasperated. The deacons had insisted on bringing a matter to the church which I had counseled against. “It’s too divisive,” I told them. “The congregation is not with you on this issue and I’m not sure I am either.” But they went ahead, and now the church members were in an uproar, disagreeing with one another.

Finally, as the pastor of the church and moderator of the meeting, I had taken all I could stand. I said to the congregation, “That’s it. This business meeting is over. That is the end of this! We’ll go right on the way we’ve been doing before.” With that, I pitched the papers in my hand — the handouts the deacons had distributed — to the floor beside my feet. I was one unhappy camper.

I led a brief prayer and sent the congregation on their way.

Two years later, one of the deacons who, having lost on that issue and then blaming me for the way it turned out, was taking me to task for something else, I forget what. He said, “You call yourself a Christian. But I’ve seen you lose your temper.”

I laughed. “No, friend. You did not see me lose my temper. You saw me control it — and those are far, far different things.”

He would not want to see me lose my temper. The truth is, had I really lost it that night, not only would there be no doubt about the issue, but I probably would not have kept my job.

Thank God for the Holy Spirit who indwells us and makes us more and more in the image of Christ. I still have a long way to go, but I’m happy to report, I’m much farther along the road to Christlikeness than I’ve ever been.

There’s a silly story that has made the rounds over the past century about a preacher who bought a contrary mule from a farmer. The problem was, the mule only knew how to respond to profanity yelled at it in frustration. Someone teased the farmer about the deal he had put over on the preacher and said, “Shouldn’t you tell the man of God the kind of language he’ll have to use to get any work out of that animal?” “Nope,” the man said. “If he keeps that mule long enough, he’ll learn them words and a few more beside.”

Speaking of mules reminds me of the days when I plowed Toby, the family mule — and more instances of losing my temper! But I’ll spare you; you get the point.

I don’t have my books about word origins handy, but will try to find the origin of the word “unflappable” — it sounds like a flag or something, doesn’t it? We’ll leave it as a comment at the end of this article. Readers are invited as always to add your insights and experiences.