Like Drinking From A Fire Hydrant

There’s so much happening every day, it’s hard to monitor it all. I find myself amazed and impressed at the newspaper and other media outlets covering it all. Of course, they have large teams to pull it off. People send emails telling me they keep up with what’s happening in New Orleans through my website. I hate to tell them (and don’t) that what I cover is just a smidgen of the reality.

The state legislature just finished their special session up in Baton Rouge. They did a lot of great things, and in typically partisan fashion, pulled some boners.

Starting in January 2007, any building in the state that suffered 51 percent or more damage as a result of these two hurricanes must be rebuilt according to a new stricter state-wide code.

The state has just taken over 102 of the 117 public schools in Orleans Parish, with the state board determining which ones reopen and how they will be run. Critics pointed out that since the hurricane, not one public school in the entire parish has been re-started. This is a special-interest-riddled school system that had degenerated into the worst in the state. The infighting on the parish school board was comic-book-ludicrous over the past few years. This system has nowhere to go but up. Thanks to our governor, Kathleen Blanco, for sticking by her guns on this, even when some New Orleans legislators accused her of racism.

Anyone who buys in Louisiana on the dates of December 16-17-18 will not have to pay the four percent sales tax. The idea is to give the citizens a break, while encouraging businesses.


The worst thing the legislature did was something they failed to do. Senator Walter Boassa from Arabi, a little community in St. Bernard Parish devastated by floodwaters, introduced a bill that would have combined all the various levee boards in this part of the world into one professional board taken out of politics. What we have now and have had for many years is a gang of autonomous boards overseeing the levees in their parishes and districts, each one controlling a tiny portion of the shoreline, each one rife with patronage abuses. Since the present setup has failed dramatically, Senator Boasso’s proposal should be a no-brainer, right? Not with our legislature. Editorials and op-ed columns in Wednesday’s Times-Picayune identify Senator Francis Heitmeier and Representative Kenneth Odinet as the culprits who organized the opposition and carried the day. Turns out they both have relatives and buddies on these levee boards. The editor writes, “…they’re a huge part of the problem.” Columnist James Gill called them if not pro-corruption, then surely “naive and parochial.” Citizens are determined to remember them come next election day.

Everyone is asking where their mail is and why it takes so long to get a letter. Turns out, to send a first-class letter even across town requires a 700 mile trip. The letter goes from New Orleans to Baton Rouge to be postmarked, then to Houston where it goes through the computerized forwarding system, back to Baton Rouge where it is loaded onto another truck and sent to a sorting facility in St. Rose, a few miles west of the New Orleans airport. The truck brings the letter to your post office or street. Hey, all this travel for only 37 cents, soon to be 39. Sounds like a bargain to me. Of course, almost none of the mail sent this way during the evacuation has been delivered. Nor do we look for it any longer.

And forget about third-class mail. They’re still not delivering it down here. A friend told me a Christmas article I wrote a year or two ago graces the front cover of Pulpit Helps magazine for December. I had to email the editor to first-class a copy to me. Time, Newsweek–I’ve forgotten all about those. Wonder what happened to my subscription.

Katrina has become a favorite scape-goat for all of us. You forgot something? Katrina stress. You are tired all the time? Katrina fatigue. Your words don’t come out right? Katrina. A guy runs a red light? Katrina. An argument erupts into a fight. Ditto.

An evacuated lady called me from Atlanta. She’s trying to reach a certain reverend whose New Orleans church was ruined by the floodwaters. I told her I did not know him, but suggested which denomination he was probably a member of, and how to contact them. At the end of the conversation I uttered this inane comment. “I’m sorry to be able not to help you.”

Blame it on the hurricane. She’s done so much, she may as well get the credit for the rest. I predict our lawmakers in Baton Rouge will forever be known as the Katrina gang.

With Thanksgiving this week, people are stringing their Christmas decorations and trying to pretend life has returned to normal. Their favorite stores close at 5 o’clock and their restaurant takes only cash, and a third of the stores and businesses even out in healthy Jefferson Parish have yet to open. But hey, this is the season for counting our blessings and rejoicing in God’s goodness. And we certainly want to do that.