“And they came to Capernaum, and when He was in the house, He began to question them, “What were you discussing on the way?” (Mark 9:33)

“Thanks for dropping by, Darren. Hope you’re having a good day.”

“Darren, I want to ask you a couple of things. When we get through, you can say anything to me you’d like and tell me what I can do to help you in your ministry.”

“First, Darren.  Tell me about the announcement you made from the pulpit Sunday morning.  When you told the church about the youth mission trip you’ll be leading this summer.  That was the first I’d heard of it.”

Uh oh.  Darren has committed a serious breach.  He has run ahead of his leadership and has put the pastor in a tough spot.  The youth are all excited over the upcoming trip Darren has told them about.  If the pastor stops it in its tracks, he’s the ogre. If he gives his okay to something not even discussed in staff meeting, he’s setting a terrible precedent for the rest of the ministers.

The pastor is calling Darren on the carpet, although in a gentle way.  But don’t be fooled by his graciousness. Darren is in trouble and he knows it if he’s smart.

Over time, we all tend to grow lax if not held accountable, reminded of our responsibilities, and called back to faithfulness.

I’ve noticed a trend with pastors who stay at churches for many years working with the same staff.  Unless the pastor does periodic “come to Jesus”* sessions with each staffer, the work ethic of the assistants weakens and their ministry suffers. (*I apologize for the crudeness of that expression, but it’s how people say it. It does communicate.)

A pastor does himself a favor, blesses the Kingdom, and honors a staffer when he has the occasional session with a colleague to remind him of certain things: Why he was brought to this church; What the church expects from him; To whom he is accountable.

Let’s get this out of the way, first: If the staffer is doing great work, all the more reason to have this meeting.

The typical pastor protests, “Hey, he’s doing a great job. There is no need for me to insert myself into his thinking and call him on the carpet. Why mess with something that  ain’t broke?”

The truth is, you are already “inserted” into his thinking. You are pastor of the church and thus the supervisor of each minister.  When he does his work well, among other things it reflects well on you as his leader. And when he doesn’t, the congregation looks to you either to fix it or to deal with him.

That’s why the church pays you the big bucks, preacher.  You da man.

Pastor, you are the point man for the roundup.  You are the shepherd of the flock. You are the coach of the team.  You are the captain of this ship.

You’re the boss of the other ministers. True, you are their encourager and prayer-partner, their friend and mentor, their example and role model, and a hundred other things. But first, you are their leader and their supervisor.

If you are not–that is, if the church has set things up so that the pastor is not in charge of the other ministers directly or indirectly–you have a flawed situation that is asking for trouble.

My observation is that many pastors, and maybe “most,” simply do not want to boss the other staff members.  They chafe at this role assigned to them.  They much prefer that staffers be self-starters and work without supervision, content with a weekly one-hour staff meeting in which goals are set and schedules are made.

Good luck with that, pastor.

It’s not going to happen.

I would repeat that if I thought it would help.

In any and every church situation, no matter how tight the friendships of the ministers on staff and how strong the trust, there needs to be the periodic session in which the pastor sits down with each colleague to talk about his work. I’d suggest no less frequent than every six months and probably more often than that.

Here are some suggestions concerning that occasional “come to Jesus” meeting with your staff members….

1) Do it one person at a time.  Do not schedule them too tightly–Bob at 9:00 am, Sue at 9:15 am, Tom at 9:30 am.  Give yourself ample time.

In fact, I’d say no more than one session in the morning and another in the afternoon. That way, whatever time it requires, you give it.

I suggest you not announce to the entire staff that “we will be having these meetings.”  Make each session one of a kind. And don’t do them just to be able to check it off the list. Your goal is to make that staffer a better minister and thus to bless the Lord’s church.

2) Do not overtalk, preacher.  If you are uncomfortable in your supervisory role, it will show by your tendency to fill the hour with buddy-buddy talk. Stop this.  Be the leader in the room.

3) Spend much time in prayer in advance.  Give thought to this staffer, who he/she is and what they need, how they are doing in their work and where they can do better.  Ask the Lord to lead you and to prepare them.  After all, no one wants His church to be healthy more than the Lord Himself.

4) Start the session with prayer.  A short one, but a prayer in which you express appreciation for the minister and call by name his/her spouse and children.  Ask the Lord to make this time profitable.

5) Get right to the point.  Say, “Bob, I have three things (or two, or four, whatever) I’d like to talk with you about. And at the end, I want you to tell me how I can help you.  So, be thinking about that.”

6) Now, if you’ve worked together for years and have never had such sessions, to start them abruptly may seem intrusive at first. So, you may wish to start with an apology. Tell the staffer that they deserve better than the leadership you have given them in the past and you are determined to do better.

When you bring a new staffer on board, make it clear up front that from time to time, you will be having such sessions.  And don’t wait too long to start. Three months or less is good.

7) If the staffer has been negligent or grown lax in some area, find a way to deal with him/her about this that is both firm and gracious.  (In my case, I’d talk with my wife about how to do this. Her judgments are usually pretty solid.)

This is often where a good mentor (a minister friend with many more years than you in the Lord’s work) comes in handy.  Call him up, tell him the issues you will be dealing with, and ask for his best thinking on how to approach it.

8) If the time has come to end employment for this staffer due to the poor quality of work they’re turning out, it should not come as a surprise. You should have been dealing with this in regular sessions for some time.  Termination should always be a last resort, the final step in a long process of trying to make something work.

9) A question pastors often ask is: What if the staffer grows hostile?

Look at the opening scenario (above) in which the pastor confronts Darren for announcing a mission trip that he had not heard about.  What if Darren reacts in anger and insists that “I have a budget, it was voted by the church, and as long as we stay within it, I don’t have to get your approval!”

If that happens–or anything similar–then the pastor has bigger problems than the issue at hand.

I actually had this happen once. The youth minister said, “The church called me as its associate pastor.  I’m answerable only to them.”  I was young–that was quite a while ago!–and amazingly, did not overreact. I said, “They called you as associate pastor because I asked them to. And if I ask them to fire you, they will not hesitate. Got that?”  He got the message and we never had another problem.

10) If you want to be the best friend of your staffers, pastor, and never have to pull rank on any of them, you’re asking for what is not now and never has been.  You will have to choose, whether to be their leader or their buddy.  But you cannot be both.

You can be their friend and colleague, yes. You can relax and love them and pray for them and work together, and you should.  But you must never forget–and never let them lose sight of this–that you are the pastor of the church and are thus accountable for each of them.

The Lord has set things up this way and your church expects it.  As with many other things in life, this is hard only at first. After you get the hang of it, your church and your staff will rise up and bless you!

I promise.