We pastors are always looking for ways to make our wedding ceremonies more interesting and more helpful.

Friday afternoon, an hour before time to head across Lake Pontchartrain for the 6:45 wedding of Steven and Laci, on a whim, I typed the following into my Facebook page and posted it:

“Give me your best ONE SENTENCE advice on marriage and I’ll work the best of them into the wedding for Laci and Steven tonight. Funny is good, inspiring is great, true and catchy is best.”

An hour later, I had a half dozen responses. Fifteen minutes before the wedding was to begin, I called son Marty in North Carolina and had him go to my Facebook page and read off every entry. There were 20 by that time. I jotted a few down and used them.

So. Here is the setting. There are 200 people sweating it out (the temperature at 7 o’clock was still in the 90s) on the back deck of Palmettos-on-the-Bayou in Slidell, Louisiana. Most are sitting on white plastic chairs, but a number are standing in the back near the giant blowers. Six gorgeous bridesmaids and an equal number of handsome groomsmen line the front. There’s no microphone so we have to speak up to be heard.

I’ve known Laci since she was a child. She is the granddaughter of one of our deacons and related to more of our church members. She is bright and creative and cute and never meets a stranger. Steven, I met for the first time when they drove over for pre-marital counseling. He’s handsome, bright, and adores Laci. They both are young Christians and making a genuine effort to live for God. I was honored to be asked to do their wedding.

Early in the proceedings, I said, “Two hours ago, I asked my Facebook friends to give Laci and Steven advice about marriage. Here are some of the responses….”

(In the wedding, I shared about ten comments. Here, however, I’m posting every comment that was left on my page, with an asterisk by the ones I used. I’d love to have quoted them all!)

Georgia: “Don’t hesitate to say ‘You were right, I was wrong, let’s start over.'”

Deborah: “Always begin and end each day with I Love You.”*

Pat: “Never give the other less than 51 percent of anything.”*

Denise: “Compromise.”*

Deborah: “Never go to bed angry.”

Brenda: “God is always #1, Spouse #2, Communication #3.”

Randy: “Marriage is from God and should not be forgotten.”

Paul: “A marriage is each one giving 100 percent to the other.”*

Carlos: “Men are waffles and women are spaghetti.”* (See note at the end.)

Dave: “Don’t ever wake up grumpy. Let let her sleep.”*

Jean: “A good husband should be deaf, a good wife should be blind.”*

Danny: “What’s yours is hers and what’s hers is hers.”

Julie: “Yes, dear.”*

Jay: “Infatuation is thinking he is as sexy as Brad Pitt, as smart as Bill Gates, as funny as Adam Sandler, and as athletic as LeBron James. Love, on the other hand, is realizing he is as sexy as Adam Sandler, as smart as LeBron James, as athletic as Bill Gates, and nothing at all like Brad Pitt, but you’ll take him anyway.”* (This was the hit of the evening.)

Dana: “I’m sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?”

Shannon: “Never lose your individual identity or you will lose the partnership.”

Wanda: “Marriage takes three: God, husband, wife (if in that order, it will last a lifetime).

Bruce: “No TV in the bedroom and long walks together (without the kids) have helped keep Nancy and me happy, fulfilled, and communicating for 28+ years.”

Ginger: “Find time every day just for you and your spouse. This is very relevant for parents of young children and vital to your sanity.”

Now, about those waffles and spaghetti….

I sent a note to friend Carlos Ichter asking what that meant. His answer arrived after the wedding. So, in the ceremony, when I said, “Men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti,” I added, “I have no idea what that means,” the bride said, “They don’t go together.” Everyone laughed.

I figured that was the point. Incompatibility is a big issue in every marriage. (I’ve heard “incompatible” explained as “he has no income and she’s not pat-able,” but did not tell that in the wedding!)

Here’s what Carlos wrote:

“Think about it! Men are like waffles because they compartmentalize everything. When syrup is poured on a waffle, everything goes neatly into squares. Men can keep different aspects of their lives separate from the other. Women are like spaghetti because when the sauce is poured on the noodles it all mixes together. Have you ever had a conversation with a woman and the subject changes just out of the blue and you’re supposed to know exactly what she’s talking about? To her it all makes perfect sense. Men are waffles and women are spaghetti.”

I don’t know, Carlos. I think I like Laci’s explanation best. (As we say on Facebook: LOL)

Well! That’s the list. All are good, some are funny, and many I used.

Afterward, I said, “Everyone has advice about marriage. But God’s Word does not dispense advice concerning this essential relationship. Instead, it gives us the will of God.”

“That revelation is found in numerous places in Scripture, perhaps nowhere better than in Ephesians 5.

“Husband, love your wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. He who loves his wife, loves himself.

“Wife, submit your self to your husband. And let the wife see that she reverence him.

“Both commands are impossible to keep on our own. No man can naturally love his wife to that extent without divine help. No woman can naturally put herself under the authority of the husband.” (I point out that a woman would not mind submitting to a husband who loves her the way Christ loved the church!)

I added, “Laci and Steven, I have some bad news for you: You do not have what it takes to be happily married. You are not patient enough, strong enough, mature enough, or loving enough. You’ll be needing God’s help.”

“Fortunately, the Lord has made Himself available to His children as we commit our lives to Him and seek to live for Him faithfully each day.”

Thursday evening as we ended the rehearsal, the wedding party surrounded Steven and Laci and prayed for them. It was a touching moment.

Would you lift them in prayer? Every young marriage needs power from Heaven and all the support from God’s people it can get.

Thank you.