During seminary, my pastorate of 30 months experienced one death in the congregation. The husband of the deceased lady said, “Pastor, do you know where there is a cemetery around here?”  (We were in the bayou country southwest of New Orleans.) I told him, “I’ll find out.”

I called the pastor of the larger First Baptist Church of Luling, a few miles away.  Don Grafton said, “Joe, I’ve been here 11 years and haven’t had the first funeral.”

He had no idea how to find the nearest cemetery.

That is the exception, believe me. Six years later, when I became pastor of the First Baptist Church of Columbus, Mississippi, if I remember correctly, we had seven funerals the first week or two.  It was like people had “saved up” their dying until the new pastor was on the field.

I’ve buried them of all ages and situations.  Once I did a double funeral for a 34-year-old man and his 64-year-old grandfather. Do the math real quick.  How is this possible?

The grandfather had died ten years earlier and no funeral had ever been held. They interred his ashes inside the grandson’s casket. (The 34-year-old had been killed with an axe and stored in the family’s freezer. Police arrested his wife’s lesbian lover. Both women are serving life terms in our state penitentiary.)

The hardest funerals are for precious little children.  Second most heart-breaking are for mothers who died giving birth.  Next are the young fathers who leave behind a stunned and grieving family.

Nothing about this is fun.  It all tears your heart out and shakes you to your core.

Continue reading “20 practical tips for preachers about funerals” »

(This is for pastors on the subject of sermon preparation.)

The most vulnerable time for any sermon is in the couple of days prior to its delivery.

At those times, the pastor does not need to be getting criticism or additional input from helpers (like myself!) or further ideas from deep study.  This is when he needs to be putting the finishing touches on his message and getting it ready for delivery.

The first part of the week….

Early in the week–unless the pastor is such a rarity that almost none of this applies to him–he should have nailed down his subject and text for Sunday’s sermon. He should know the “one big idea” the Lord wants communicated. And he should have a general idea where he’s going with this sermon.

How did he get to this point?  By staying in the word day in and day out, and mapping out sermon ideas weeks in advance.  This way, he has known for at least a couple of weeks that next Sunday he would be preaching from this text on that subject.  This is not something he “thunk up” at the last minute. The message has been marinating over these days.

Continue reading “The three days each week the pastor should turn off his computer” »

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).

The greatest resource for anyone in the ministry–other than the obvious Resource of the Holy Spirit Himself, of course–is not the internet, not one’s seminary, and not the public library.  It’s not your denomination, and for those of us in the SBC, it’s not Lifeway Christian Resources.

Those are all good, and we recommend them highly. But they’re not the nearest and most reliable source of help for pastors.

It’s your brother.

The pastors in your area–shepherds of the Lord’s flocks just as you are–do the same work as you, struggle with the same issues, wrestle with the same temptations and enjoy the same rewards. You have more in common with the pastors in your town than with anyone else on the face of the earth.

And yet.

Continue reading “The pastor’s number one resource. It might surprise you.” »

(This is a companion to the article posted recently on “What the host pastor wants from the guest preacher.” As a retired pastor, I’m often on the receiving end of these invitations, so am well-acquainted with this subject.)

1) We need an invitation.  Can’t preach in your church without one! (Hey, we can’t afford to be too subtle for some in the audience!  Smiley-face goes here.)

2) We would like to know as much information as the host pastor thinks is necessary, but no more.

The main thing I want to know is whether I’m simply “filling the pulpit” for the absentee preacher or if my presence is part of a special emphasis.

3) Personally, I’d rather not know about the internal workings of the church.

As a rule, it is counter-productive to tell the visiting preacher the status of the church health or whether the pastor is “under the gun.” Let the Holy Spirit use the guest to preach the word and let the chips fall where they may. It’s fascinating how He chooses to address these very issues, but without the guest preacher having a clue as to what the situation was. This also provides some protection for the host pastor when upset members ask whether he ratted them out to the preacher.

4) If there are any negatives associated with the invitation, tell me.

Some tell me they can only pay a certain amount, often less than the mileage. If I can accept, I will.

When they ask what I charge, I assure them that this is a matter between them and the Lord. Most churches take care of travel expenses and an honorarium.

Continue reading “What the visiting preacher needs from the host pastor” »

(Do not miss the personal testimony of a pastor friend at the end of this piece.)

WHY DOES MY PREACHER NOT WEEP AT FUNERALS? Even his own mother’s.

In my case, by the time we laid my wonderful mama to rest, I was in my early 70s and she was nearly 96. She was so ready to go. If it’s possible to be ready to give one’s beloved mother back to Jesus, we were. And yes, we still miss her every day, and it’s been almost two years.

But there’s another reason for the lack of tears.  Starting early–my mid-20s–I began doing heart-breaking funerals, one after another, the kind that will tear your heart out and stomp that sucker. Do enough of these, and after a while you run out of tears.

It’s not that you do not care, do not love, or cannot feel. It’s just that you care and love and feel without tears.

Furthermore, by this time, the preacher has come to terms with the message of Christ and has settled once and for all that this is true, this is what I believe, and I commit my entire life to it.

Continue reading “Why preachers are the way they are; thank God.” »