1) Wednesday, I stood in line.

The line at Honeybaked Ham in Metairie stretched back and forth inside the store and half a block outside along the sidewalk. The line at the post office in Harahan was only 20 deep, but only two windows were open and each customer seemed to be doing their entire month’s mailing. The line at the bank was 20 deep. The line at Piccadilly Cafeteria at 3 o’clock, when everyone thought it would be cleared out, was lengthy.

The ‘rush and crush’ of the Christmas season is upon us, I suppose. Take a number.

2) The political season now shifts into high gear.

We have this celebrity here in New Orleans. In a city filled with characters, this guy is in a class by himself. I’ll not name him for reasons in 3) below, but if I did, many readers would recognize him.

He’s, let’s say, 60 years old and looks 30, thanks to the wonders of cosmetic surgery. In fact, it’s not exaggerating to say he is gorgeous. Broad shoulders, a Hollywood smile, jet black flowing locks, and apparently charm enough to make all the ladies line up and swoon. Several women have had a go with him. He throws weddings to make the queen of a small country envious, renting museums of art or a cathedral and endowing the word ‘lavish’ with new meaning. And when he and his current wife decide to go their separate ways, he sends her off with large alimony checks, although sometimes only because the judge orders it.

Everything the man does is outrageous. Now, got that?

Sitting across the table from a friend one day this week, I don’t know how the celebrity’s name came up. He said something that shocked me. “Did you know he has implants in his shoulders and biceps? To make himself look more impressive.” I did not know and was stunned that any human on the planet could be so vain as to pull such a stunt.

My friend said, “I’ve stood close to him and you are knocked over by those broad shoulders. I mean, he is something!”

The naive country boy in me is still trying to absorb this. Why would anyone do this? Why would anyone want this? Why would a medical doctor use his/her skills for such foolishness? What is the point? Why go to so much trouble to look good when there’s nothing but silicon behind it? Who does it impress and why would he want to impress such shallow people?

And then I read Jim Graham’s column on the current political situation as candidates for the two parties vie for their party’s 2008 presidential nomination. See if you don’t agree it all ties in together….

“We have entered, whether you want it or not, the period of ‘political maelstrom.’ The money, the handlers, the media, all are at work to shape the personalities and to secure power for their personal agendas. Somehow, the word ‘character’ gets left out of the whirlwind. Who knows whether this republic has gone too far down the wayward path to be turned around or not, but you must hope and pray for leadership to emerge which really wants to work for the public good, not for the so-called ‘fat cats’ or for those who are looking for eternal Christmas and their government gifts, but for honest, hard-working middle class people who love justice and fair play, who have always been the backbone of this country.”

“While thinking about these things I want to share a few lines from a respected journalist, David Brooks:

“‘We tend to view them (politicians) like products and base our verdicts on their market share at the moment. We don’t so much evaluate their character; we analyze how effectively they are manipulating their image to appeal to voters, and in this way, we buy into the artificiality of modern campaigning.’

Jim picks back up then: “I am not sure exactly how to measure those candidates and their personal character, but we should do our best to try and understand that aspect of their person. Sometimes you can see how easy it is for some candidates to be dishonest, evasive, or when they are ‘spinning’ us, or insulting our intelligence.”

He closes with this great line:

“I wish they would all be like my dear son Rick who (as a child) always dropped his left eyelid when telling a lie.”

Everything is image these days, and that is a crying shame. The thought comes to mind that some of these candidates are as fake as a New Orleans celebrity with silicon shoulders. We know the drill: politicians hire their pollsters to find out what would go over well with the voting public and then insert that particular padding into their platforms and speeches to impress someone who will not look beyond the bulge in the suit.

God gives us discernment to tell what’s real from the cosmetic. To turn aside from their arguments over possible programs and to look for character and integrity.

(About the writer of the above piece: Jim Graham, living in Atlanta now, is one of my choice friends. He’s married to Darlene, and they are grandparents of some of the smartest, brightest children on the planet. These guys have been an integral part of our existence for over 30 years now since I became their pastor in Columbus, Mississippi. Margaret and Darlene did the college thing together as (ahem) mature students, I performed Brandi’s marriage to Tim Bryant in Atlanta’s Briar Lake Church, and Jim and I served on various boards together. He took early retirement from Haverty’s in Asheville, NC, and they moved closer to the grandkids. They are part of Andy Stanley’s little congregation; poor things. Margaret and I will never ever forget going to an Everly Brothers concert with Jim and Dar at Chastain Park in Atlanta over 20 years ago. We spread a picnic, lay out on the hillside with five thousand of our closest friends, and sang those songs of our youth until the neighbors threatened to turn us in for public drunkenness. Joy is a kind of intoxication, I discovered. There’s even a Scripture for that in Acts 2.)

Anyway, I wanted you to know who Jim is. He’s so totally well worth knowing, and his observations are always solid.

3) The internet. What a wonder it is.

Ever google yourself? It’s a fun thing to do. A couple of years ago, I’d type in ‘Joe McKeever’ and see that most of the hundreds of citations were regarding stuff I had written, cartoons I’d drawn or places where my name appeared in print. But no longer. These days, there are Joe McKeevers in rock music, drawing comic books, refereeing soccer games in Europe, leading Roman Catholic congregations in Ireland, and working in the DA’s office in Manhattan (I think). One is a student at Rowan College, wherever that is. The internet is amazing.

Then, I made another discovery from that google. Clicking on some of the strange listings, I found out that some of the cities I’ve mentioned in this blog have ‘internet collection agencies’ (for want of a better term) working for them. They pull out of cyberspace every reference to that particular town and list them all on a website of their own so that, presumably, some city manager can check to see what people are saying about his hometown. Surely no one else has the time or inclination to read such trivia.

But the fact that this is happening at all was fascinating to me.

I’ve had emails from semi-famous people whom we’ve mentioned in this website, people who had some program on their computers that sent them a copy whenever anyone’s blog mentioned their name. Now, considering that there are literally millions of websites–they don’t call it the World Wide Web for nothing–this is absolutely astounding.

Bottom line: don’t put anything in print you don’t want circulated around the earth and emblazoned on billboards in your hometown.

And that’s the reason, students, for a little tactic which we learned in junior high English class and which I commend to you: do not click ‘send’ until you go back and re-read what you have written. I can tell you by personal experience you will save yourself a lot of grief by proofing everything you write. And sometimes, you may want to let it ‘set’ overnight before sending it, just to make sure you really want to say that.

One morning last week, I labored for a couple of hours on a lengthy article which was hitting close to home with some preacher problems I’m aware of. I went through the steps to post it on my website and for the first time in several years, did something wrong and ended up losing the front half of the article. It was so frustrating at first. Then, driving to the office, I realized the Lord had done me a great favor and saved me some grief. I had no business writing that. Someone would have taken it personally and it would have been hard for him not to. And the Lord was protecting us both.

The youngsters in your home are not the only ones who need to be protected from the internet, friend. We oldsters need frequent reminders that when we turn the computer on, we are handling a tool that can do great good or great destruction. Be careful.