Come Now and Let Us Criticize Prayers

The first prayer I criticized, I was in college. Eventually, I became quite good at it.

It’s not a skill to be desired.

A church across Birmingham had invited me to speak to their young people that morning. I was the guest of a leading church family for the service and lunch to follow. Their pastor was out that day, so the minister was a college professor who taught the Bible.

At the sermon time, the guest preacher strode to the pulpit, looked out at the congregation and led us in prayer. I was struck by the way the last sentence of his prayer and the opening sentence of his sermon lay back to back, separated only by the “amen” of the prayer.

Here is what he said:

“Bless us, O God, as we come to worship Thee—for we are here for no other reason. Amen.”

He took a breath, looked out at the congregation, and began:

“People come to church for many different reasons!”

Instantly I reacted. Wait a minute. You just told the Lord we were here to worship Him and nothing else, and told us we had come for a variety of reasons.

He was not being honest to someone, either the Lord or us, I reasoned. And I think I know who it was. He was telling the Lord what He felt the Lord wanted to hear, it seemed, but knew he could not get by with that with us. So he had to tell us the plain fact of the matter.

It occurred to me his view of God was severely lacking.

My criticism was valid, I believe, but unfortunately that little event started me on my life of crime.


I became quite good at picking apart prayers, especially public intercessions issued for the consumption of large groups.

At college convocations, civic luncheons, church services, and all types of events with a religious aspect which necessitated that someone stand and utter an invocation or benediction, I picked them apart. Sporting events were the worst.

I didn’t like this prayer because of the stilted speech of the pray-er (“O Gawd…”), that one because of the length, another because it was too short. This prayer was too silly, that one obviously designed to impress us and not the Lord. On and on it went.

One day, as a young minister, I was sitting at the breakfast table with our two youngest. Marty must have been 10 and Carla about 7. They were facing each other across the table. Suddenly he said, in that tone of voice only brothers can summons, “Would you close your mouth when you eat!”

I laid down my newspaper and said softly, “Son, I have a suggestion. You let me be her daddy, and you just relax and be her big brother.”

All the bells went off inside me, signaling that something weighty had just arrived in my heart. The Holy Spirit was taking my own words and applying them to my life.

I was to cease criticizing the well-meaning offerings of my siblings in the faith, and let God be their Father. My task was simply to be their brother.

A much easier job, incidentally.

So, that day, I resigned the management of the universe.

I made a conscious decision to quit criticizing the prayers of other people.

Which turned out to be hard, incidentally. Over the years, I’ve heard some lulus that cried out to be scoffed at or at the very least to adorn my sermons and my blogs. “Don’t pray like my brother!” I would have said, in tones that call to mind Click and Clack, the car-repair brothers of National Public Radio.

But I didn’t.

This week, I ran across a book in which the author goes to great lengths to criticize other people’s prayers. And, like a smoker who has given up the filthy habit and becomes an apostle for clean air, I found myself repulsed by what the man said.

He criticized both the prayer of Jabez in the Scripture and Bruce Wilkinson’s book by that name which sold umpteen million copies.

Jabez’s prayer–found in I Chronicles 4:10–was “counter to the heart of the gospel and the priorities of Jesus.”

He found Bruce Wilkinson’s explanations and applications of Jabez’s little prayer utterly lacking. Those who bought the book and prayed the prayer were self-seekers of the worst sort.

The prayers of David also came under that author’s scrutiny. “This is not a prayer pleasing to God,” he commented concerning Psalm 109:8-12.

He even went so far as to pan the childish prayers we all learned to offer as infants. “God is great, God is good” and “Now I lay me down to sleep” were uttered just to please mother and not God. They are self-righteous, he said, dripping with self-interest.

Now, let’s drop the other shoe here and admit what every reader knows: some prayers are terrible, need criticizing and deserve being abandoned.

I’m thinking of the “name it and claim it” prayers, for one. Flipping channels this weekend, I came upon a preacher who was telling his congregation if they would be faithful to the Lord, “You will be like a money magnet!” Oh, they loved that, judging by their screams.

I have known people who used prayer times to criticize and even abuse others in the room. “Lord, help us to realize that….” and then they unloaded their frustrations, just or unjust, on their colleagues in the room. When the one praying is in the position of authority–a pastor or principal–this has to be considered some kind of spiritual abuse.

It’s not easy praying aloud in front of other people.

Walking to a microphone–whether in church or at the ball stadium or city council meeting or in the United States House of Representatives–to lead those present in a few moments of praise and intercession with the Almighty is not something to be taken lightly. It should be approached with fear and trembling, it deserves thoughtful preparation and planning–and prayer too (pray about your prayers? yes!)–and it should take place in a no-criticism zone.

If this minister prays in Jesus’ name and that one doesn’t, fine. That’s between them and the Lord. If this one brings in bad theology or doctrine we find offensive, unless this is in church and you are the pastor, let him or her get by with it. It’s over.

Uttering a public prayer is tough.

Cut the pray-er a little slack. Do not be too critical if he/she pulls in some cliches they’ve picked up from others; they’re trying to do well. Encourage them. Maybe they’ll do better next time.

Grace is a wonderful thing.

We expect it from the Lord and thankfully, He gives it generously.

Extending grace to one another is a kind thing to do, and makes us even look a little like our Heavenly Father.

I give thanks that I’m your brother. I was not called to criticize you and straighten you out everytime you step out of line.

So, go ahead. Lead in prayer in your class or in the worship service the next time you are asked. Doing so will make you appreciate the task given to others when they attempt it. And it might lessen our tendency to pick apart what they say or fail to say.

After all, there is so little heartfelt and sincere prayer being offered these days. Let’s appreciate all that is lofted toward the Lord on behalf of this planet and those who dwell thereon.

Amen.

5 thoughts on “Come Now and Let Us Criticize Prayers

  1. Two things:

    1. When I was a young Christian (I was saved as an adult), I started reading lots of books and listening to Christian radio. I began thinking I knew all about many things in the Christian life, including prayer. I approached my wonderful, godly pastor to complain about a prayer one of our deacons offered in our worship service. He responded with much grace, “Michael, what you have is a simple man who loves Jesus doing the best he can to express his heart. Let’s show him some grace.” A good word.

    2. The most perfect prayer I ever heard came from a brand new believer who was saved exactly one week when she came into our prayer meeting. The previous Wednesday night, she brought her child to our children’s ministry and was going to go home and commit suicide, but one of our ladies met her and shared the Gospel with her (and saved her life). She was a drug addict and had been in numerous bad relationships with men. Not a good life. The following Wednesday, she came to prayer meeting, and when we went to prayer (I explained that anyone who wanted to could pray aloud), she began, “Um, God . . . oh s*** . . . I don’t really know what to say.” Then she poured her heart out to God like no one I have ever heard before. She was a person who really didn’t know that curse words were in any way unfavorable. By the time she finished, there was not a dry eye in the place. Was the prayer crude, informal, and completely unconventional? Yes. But it was perfect in that it was a newborn babe crying out to her Father the only way she knew how. How could I criticize that?

  2. I am unfortunately arrogant and God often has to wake me up to my own arrogance.

    One of the best messages God has given me was: Every Criticism that passes through your mind should be immediately turned around into a prayer request uplifting that person and asking for that person to be filled with the righteousness of God. Ask for them what you would seek for yourself.

    That has help me so greatly to have a proper perpective of heart.

  3. It was said that Spurgeon invited a local to open in prayer at one of his meetings and the man took the opportunity to pray a sermon. After a bit, Spurgeon reportedly arose and went to the pulpit and instructed the congregation to turn to the scripture text while “…the brother finishes his prayer…”. Too much of our public praying is instructing God how to run things. Peter’s prayer, while sinking, is a good example of effective praying.

  4. I am reminded of the story of the old deacon who was called on to pray before the offering. His voice was not amplified and many were not able to hear his prayer. After the service, a man criticized him that he was unable to hear his words. The old deacon said “I wasn’t talking to you.”

    The Lord knows the heart. We hear (or not hear)the words but the Lord sees the heart.

    Dr J

  5. Bro. Joe,

    I find myself thinking , well, no NOT thinking, l just let my mind wander when we have our oferatory prayer. When I worked in a Christian Book Store once I picked up one of our “help” books, which was “offerertory Prayers”. It said they should be short and to the point – blessing the offering we received. Our sweet, well meaning men pray for the church, the sick, the soldiers, all church families, the sick, the afflicted, the preacher and deacons and, finally, “this offering we are about to receive” We might end up snoring, but we can’t criticize., right? They are speaking to God, not me.

    Lara

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