Whether to give to this cause or that guy. It’s so hard to know.

“Give to everyone who asks of you” (Luke 6:30).

Two days ago, my wife and I were parked briefly at the rear of a local drive-in eatery, waiting for our orders.  A man on a bike came onto the grounds and wheeled over to our car.

“Sir, I’m traveling and am broke and haven’t eaten all day.”

He might have said more, I forget.  The backpack and his scruffiness indicated he probably was telling the truth.

No one enjoys being accosted like this.  Later, I realized that parking in the rear of the establishment as we did is what drew him to us.  He left after our little encounter without asking anyone else, even though 20 more cars ringed the diner. The reason, I realized, is that the management would have seen him and ordered him off or called the cops. That would indicate he has done this before.

I’ll tell you what I did and what I wish I’d done.

I reluctantly (and begrudgingly, I admit) pulled out two dollars from my billfold and handed it to him.  If I said anything, I don’t recall. He had caught me totally off guard. Even as I handed it to him, my wife said, “That’s not enough.”  And he was gone.

I’ve thought a good bit about this.  What I wish I had done was to say, “Mister, ride your bike over there to the grass and wait.  Give me a moment to talk to my wife and to pray about this.”

Consulting my two most trusted advisors–the Lord and my wife–would have made this a wiser decision.

Some months ago, I received an email from a pastor in California with a tale of church abuse similar to so many that I hear.  He and his wife had five children and the little congregation, a member of some small denomination unfamiliar to me, had misrepresented things to him and now were cutting them off with no place to go.  We swapped a few notes back and forth, and I discussed it with my wife and a few friends on Facebook.  My wife, who does not quickly respond to such pleas, wrote him a check for several hundred dollars. I asked for his address and mailed the check along with a note of encouragement.

We never heard another word from him.  The check went through.

Was it legit or a scam?  There is no way to tell.

Originally, I posted a short note about his situation on Facebook, asking for prayer.  Many people wanted to invite him to preach in their church, and one even asked about his becoming their pastor. When they learned he was of another denomination and lived across the country, their ardor cooled.

When a California church-planter expressed interest in helping the guy start his own church, I gave him the contact information I had.  But he never reached the fellow.

My wife thinks it was a scam and says she now regrets sending the money (it was from her personal account).  I remind her that she gave it to the Lord.

It’s so hard to know.

When our Lord complimented the widow for contributing her two small copper coins into the temple treasury (Mark 12:41-44), at that very time the temple was under the control of a gang of crooks, called “a den of thieves” in Mark 11:17.

Was the Lord saying our responsibility is to give and others are responsible for seeing that the money is used well?

Does the Lord approve of members giving to a church where the pastors or other leadership are misusing the finances?

Does your church have a well thought-out policy about giving to the needy?  (The quick answer of most churches is: We do not give money.  But in truth, most churches do give money to help their own members, people whom they know.  As they should.)

I used to have a deacon who turned down all requests for donations and contributions because, as he readily testified, he did all his giving through our church and for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ.  As admirable as I thought that was at the time, I think he needs to loosen up a little in order to do some personal, individual giving to people he encounters from time to time. Even that will be for the glory of the Lord if he does it with a loving heart.

God wants His people generous.

God wants His people to give to the poor.

If we must err, we should err on the side of generosity and liberality, not stinginess and tight-fistedness.

Listen to some church leaders rant about giving to the poor and you come away knowing that what they value most in life is money.  The way they are tight with money and callous to the poor says they love money rather than people. “He who is gracious to a poor man lends to the Lord” (Proverbs 19:17).  You either believe that or you don’t.

“He who shuts his ear to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be answered” (Proverbs 21:13).

When we can, we should try to find out if the person is truly in need.  If they ask for money to buy gasoline, ask them to start up the car and let you see if the gauge is on empty.  Have the church office keep records on people who come in asking for help.  See if the church has compassionate workers willing to counsel with the needy about their situations.

When we can, we should try to do more than simply give the needy groceries or a bus ticket.

When we cannot do these things, we should resort to my fall-back position: Ask your spouse and send up a quick prayer.

Even if it turns out that the individual was not needy and that you were “taken,” you gave it unto the Lord. And He received it as unto Him.

“Whatever you do, do (it) heartily, as for the Lord, rather than for men” (Colossians 3:23).

One more thing.  When you know someone is in need, do not wait to be asked.  Be proactive. And if giving it anonymously through the church (or some other way) makes your motive purer and enables the recipient to be blessed more, do that.

And please.

Let no one hear you ever talk about whether the poor “deserve” to be helped or not. If you and I got what we deserve, we would be in hell.

Grace is a wonderful concept, whether you are receiving it or bestowing it.

 

5 thoughts on “Whether to give to this cause or that guy. It’s so hard to know.

  1. Yes, it is very hard to know just what to do. In some cases I’ve asked for contact numbers so I could call and check out the person’s story, and if they can’t give me the names or numbers, that’s the end of the matter for me.

    My church gets so many requests for help with utility bills that the benevolence fund quickly runs dry each quarter. I try to follow a certain protocol: Is it one of my church members? (Almost never is). Is it the family of one of the kids who comes to Youth or AWANA or SS? Is it a person who lives in our church neighborhood? I try to help these kinds of folks if at all possible.

    Next in line is a person whose utilities are about to be shut off. If we’ve got benevolence money, we can only use it to help people in need, I reason. I can’t bear to let it lie in the bank when it could prevent a family’s lights from being shut off.

    When I can’t help, I tell the person I will pray that God provides for their need some other way. And I do pray for them. And sometimes I find out later that God met their need in some special way.

    I hardly ever give money to a person who looks like a beggar. And if I ever find out they’ve scammed me (or any kind of lie), I never help them again.

  2. I keep cash in my pocket for the people I pass on the street who are begging. In cities this is a common sight. I could say that I hope they don’t buy illicit substances but I dont. I just give it and most seem appreciative.

  3. Our church had an arrangement with one of the neighboring grocery stores wherein we would pay up to $40 for groceries (no tobacco or alcohol). Anyone claiming their need for food was provided a coupon they could use at the store. On several occasions an evenings lodging in a local motel would be provided.

    My general personal practice is to never give cash but to buy food or pay a bill for someone claining difficulty. On occasion these options are turned down because the individual wants the cash.

  4. In the UK, rules have been tightened up recently – so now as a church we’re discouraged from giving people money because it has to be reported as “income”, and can therefore affect their entitlement to benefits and state help.

    (plus the way it seems to work now is “if your financial circumstances change at all we’ll stop your benefits for 14 days whilst we figure out how much we should take off you, then give you the money we should have given you back over a period of 6 months if we feel like it”. Benefits start to seem less like a helping hand and more of a trap to keep people in… )

    The recommended way to give now is to buy groceries, fill their car with petrol, etc, rather than giving them money.

    On an unrelated note – where is the position for the “benevolent fund” in the church, in your opinion? In our church it’s with the Elders – but the distribution of funds to the needy in Acts seems to sit with the Diaconate. I have no real issue with either method but would be interested in other people’s thoughts.

    • John, my church (Kenner, LA, in metro New Orleans) has a committee in charge of disbursements of money, in the rare instances they give it at all. We have a food pantry at the church and two mornings a week people are welcome to come by, sign in, and receive a sack of groceries. Not sure what else we do. I’m a member but in retirement mode and often preaching elsewhere.

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