Dear James,

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I suppose I’m the right one to unload on, having fought a few of these church battles over the years and with the scars to prove it.

Once a small group was meeting in the foyer of my church every Sunday to pool their hostilities and plan their attacks against me. Finally, I decided to call the attention of the congregation to what they were doing. In the sermon I said, “I want you who are doing this to know two things: God is using this in my life to make me stronger. And two, you will have to stand before Him and give account for what you are doing to His servant. When that time comes, I wouldn’t be in your shoes for all the money in the world.”

The good news in my case is that I outlived my opponents. Either they gave up or moved away or it could have been a couple of funerals, but the opposition died out and the last few years in that church were a dream. It was worth going through the storm to enjoy the sunshine on the other side.

Anyway, I want you to know I’m hurting for you. And I want to mention a couple of specific areas in which I am praying for you.

First, I pray that the day will come when you will look back at this as the best thing that has ever happened to you. Well, one of the best things.

I’m thinking of Eli, a preacher I knew from the time he was a college student. When he became a pastor, he was a holy terror. He packed the crowds in and reported huge numbers to the denomination, but he seemed to be angry all the time. I ran into him ten years later and he was a different person. His wife had divorced him and the church had fired him. He became a broken man. But then the Lord put him back together. At the time, he was serving on the staff of a church in a different state and having a significant ministry to people who had been chewed up and spit out by life.

I said to Eli, “Looking back at your previous ministry, you probably see a different quality in the work you’re doing now.” He laughed. “I’m doing the greatest work of my life. Everything I did before God broke me was in the flesh for my own glory.”

I heard an old preacher say once, “Sometimes the Lord has to get us flat of our back so we will look up.”

Anyway, James, I pray the Lord will use this in your life.

I remember something my Dad used to say about his six children. “I wouldn’t take a million dollars for one of them, and I wouldn’t give you a dime for another.” One day, that’s how you will feel about what you’re going through right now.

The other thing I pray is that you will get past the hurt and the pain and the Lord will heal you. And, I have some specific suggestions on how to do that.

Let me tell you a story.

Justin used to belong to my church. When he left to pastor in another state, we were all excited. Everytime we talked, he would be bubbling over about the good things happening and the new people joining. But there’s one thing he failed to tell me: that church had a history of running pastors off every couple of years. Sure enough, that’s what happened. Someone concocted a story about some inappropriate touching he did–Justin is a hugger but nothing more than that, believe me–and the deacons jumped all over it and demanded his resignation. His wife was going through some health problems and the doctor had warned them against stress, so Justin resigned and walked away.

He sat in my office a few weeks later, unloading his frustrations and sharing his pain. He told me that after he left the church, someone made up a story about his being unfaithful and cheating on his wife. That’s what really infuriated him. He said, “Joe, I have the names and addresses of all the church members. I’ve written them a letter and I want you to read it.”

He handed me a four-page typed letter in which he was defending himself against the charges. He said, “What do you think–should I mail it or not?”

I said, “Toss it in the trash, my good friend. Don’t send it. The people who know you do not believe the rumors and those who are against you would not believe your letter no matter what you said.”

He groaned in pain. “So what can I do? I have to do something.”

I said, “You’re exactly right. And I want to show you what it is.”

We turned in the Bible to Luke chapter 6. “Verse 27. Love your enemies.”

“Oh great,” he said. “Do you know what you’re asking?”

“It’s not me, my friend. It’s your Lord. But there’s more to this I want you to see.”

We read on. “Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you. Give to everyone who asks of you.”

I said, “Justin, years ago I ran across a little book with the greatest title in the world. ‘Love is Something You Do.’ The title alone was a revelation from the Lord to me.”

He said, “What do you mean?”

“You know how in the Bible God is always telling us to love? Love the Lord, love your neighbors, love one another, love your wife, love your children. Even ‘love the stranger within your gates.’ And this one, ‘Love your enemies.'”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Well, if love is an emotion and that’s all it is, God is being unreasonable. We can’t command our emotions to do anything. We can’t make ourselves feel fear or anger or love. These are emotions and they are often accompanied by feelings, but they’re far more than that.”

“In the Bible, Justin,” I said, “everytime God commands us to love someone, He’s telling us to do loving things for them. He is not commanding us to feel anything. Do something.”

I went on. “So here in Luke 6, when Jesus tells us to love our enemies, He gives four specific actions to tell us exactly what He’s calling for. We are to do good to them, to bless them, pray for them, and give to them.”

Those are four basic actions of love, any kind of love, whether it’s directed toward God or our children or our enemies. We do much more for the people we’re closest to–we hug them, and hold their hands and sweet talk them. But no matter who we love, we do good things for them, we bless them and pray for them and give to them. That is what God wants us to do for our enemies.

I said to Justin, “Do you know the name of the ringleader against you?”

He did. “That would be Robert.”

I said, “You feel pretty strongly about Robert, do you?”

“I would personally like to do him considerable harm. It would not be good for Robert to walk in this door right now.”

“Okay, fine,” I said. “Now, looking at what the Lord has commanded, what are you to do for Robert?”

“Love him. Do something good. Bless him. Pray for him. Give him something. Right?”

“Exactly. Can you do it?”

He was quiet a moment and said, “I don’t see how. I won’t see him any more.”

“But you have his mailing address.”

“So, I could write him a letter?”

“Sure. But not just any kind of letter. Write him a love letter.”

“Okay,” he said, “you lost me there.”

“Wish him well. Say nice things to him. Do not let him see your pain. Just bless him in the name of Jesus.”

Justin gave me a sly grin and said, “I will if you will.”

“Say what?”

He said, “I know what you went through in your last church a few years ago. You wrote an article about it for a pastors’ magazine. So, what if you wrote the same kind of letter to the guy most responsible for your pain.”

I explained that in my case it was a whole group of people, and that I thought I had done these things–it was some years back. But then I remembered one person in particular.

“I could write to Jeff. He was the chairman of deacons who made life so miserable for me. Later on, the church elected him to all kinds of great positions and put a lot of stock in his leadership. But if I had told them what he had done to their pastor, some of them would have ridden him out of town on a rail.”

“Write him,” Justin said. “I’ll write mine if you’ll write yours.”

A week later, I received the most puzzling letter in the mail. It seemed to be a copy of a letter to someone I did not know, someone named Robert. The letter was congratulating him on some achievement and wishing his wife and daughters well. Then I saw it was signed “Justin” and I knew.

I realized I had not written my letter to Jeff. I sent up a quick prayer for wisdom and penned a few lines to my old nemesis, congratulating him on some office he had just been elected to in the church and told him I was praying for him. I was. I asked about his wife and children and added that I guess he had grandchildren by now, and how wonderful they were.

Once in a while Justin and I still get together, even though we’re in separate states. We laugh about our letters to Robert and Jeff. Neither of us ever heard back from them, but that wasn’t the point.

The point was to obey the Lord. In doing so, both of us were loosened from the anger and pain of how we had been treated.

The Lord taught me a lot from that passage in Luke 6, James, and I’m praying you will discover its healing powers too. Remember, you don’t have to like someone in order to love them. And you don’t have to feel love in order to do loving things for them.

I’ll look forward to hearing from you as to how you’re doing. Remember I’ll always be your friend.

Cordially, your brother.