“Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with many advisers they succeed” (Proverbs 15:22).  “Victory comes with many counselors” (Proverbs 24:6).

Sometimes the poor relationship we have with someone may color our reaction to something wise they share.

The challenge is to listen to everyone, even our severest critics.  Taking their counsel on something of worth may end up being the first step in building a bridge of reconciliation.

This particular church member had rejected my ministry and was working behind the scenes to oust me from that church.

So when he made a suggestion that actually made sense, I was not in the mood to accept it.  Had he suggested we buy giant-sized blizzards at the Dairy Queen, his treat, I’d probably have scoffed.

Here’s what happened..

He said, “Joe, look at old Mr. Mossback.  He has no business being a greeter in this church.  The man could star in a horror flick.”

He was right.

The old gentleman was ancient and wore a perpetual scowl and just stood there on Sundays like a stump handing out bulletins.  Think of Boris Karloff at his scariest.

But since Bill the adversary was advising replacing him, I became Mr. Mossback’s advocate and PR agent

“He’s doing the best he can, Bill.  It’s about the only church job he can handle, so let’s let him do it.”

And we left him in place.

That was a mistake.  Good advice, they say, is where you find it, and Bill’s suggestion was the correct one.

Only bright, cheerful, friendly, outgoing people should serve as greeters.

We should have looked for another place for Mr. Mossback.  What place? I have no idea, but we could have come up with something. If nothing else, put him at the back door with a handful of Sunday bulletins.

I rejected sound advice because I did not care for the one giving it.  My mistake.

Good advice is where you find it, we were saying, even if it comes from the unlikeliest of sources.

Second story.

This time I rejected the sound advice because I wasn’t thinking straight.

I was pastoring a large church with numerous staff vacancies we were trying to fill. Meanwhile, I was new there and preaching four times every Lord’s day and doing most of the pastoral work (hospitals, funerals, administration, etc).  It was killing me.

One of the leaders of the church, chairman of the search committee that had brought me there, casually remarked, “You need to  bring in someone to handle the administration for you so you can pastor the church.”

He was exactly right. The right person in that position might have saved my ministry there.

At the time, I answered something about the money not being available.  While that was so, we could have juggled assignments and found the money from all the vacant positions had I been willing to go that route.

Looking back at the endless problems that followed my inauspicious beginning at that church, I wished later we had done that. Why didn’t we? Clearly, I was so stressed that I did not recognize a great suggestion when it came.

Stress will warp one’s judgment and cloud his thinking.

I rejected sound advice because I was too stressed to think clearly.  My mistake.

I should have had a few good advisors to whom I could run this by.

Question: How can we make sure the counsel we are getting is solid?

Here are three suggestions, not in any particular order….

1) Have a few trusted friends to whom you can go and who will tell you the truth.

Ideally, you want to bring them all together (if the issue is of sufficient weight) and let them interact with one another.  Therefore, try to find a trio of wise counselors in your area.  Pray the Lord to lead you to them.

2) Search the Scripture on the subject.

You are not looking for some sterile sentence to jump out at you and say “here is your answer,” but for the Holy Spirit to show you His answer through the Word.  Often, it’s a verse you would never thought of applying to this situation, but its counsel is perfect and seems to have jumped off the page at you.

I am not suggesting you tell the church, “God told me to do this.”  Just do it.  Not everyone, even the most spiritual, will agree that this particular verse applies to your situation. But you are not offering it to them for approval. The Lord did that just for you.  Now, go ahead.

Don’t be surprised if the Spirit leads you to fast while you are praying and seeking His answer.  Fasting while praying can help to clear our minds and focus our hearts.

3) Listen to your wife.

(The obligatory note of explanation to that: As we have said here repeatedly, articles on this website are primarily directed to pastors with my frame of reference being the SBC where all preachers are male.  Women pastors are welcome to use anything of value they find here, but we will appreciate their understanding where we’re coming from.  And honestly, I’m not sure the husband of a woman pastor would have the same take on these things a male pastor’s wife does.)

God knew what He was doing when He matched us up.

Margaret Henderson McKeever and her man Joe are in agreement on ten thousand things.  And we see contrary to another five thousand!  She doesn’t see some of my best cartoons as funny, doesn’t get the point of some of my jokes, and thinks I should not wear a striped tie with a checked shirt.  I read most of these articles to her before posting to see what I’ve left out, overdone, or gotten wrong.

She has no hesitation in telling me.  (Smiley-face goes here.)

And that’s why I read them to her. The last thing I need is a spouse who thinks I hung the moon, that I can do no wrong, and that every word out of Joe’s mouth is inspired.  I need someone with a different viewpoint, who feels I can do better than I usually do, and who has not the slightest hesitation in calling me down when I’m out of line.

That’s why I could never have been a Catholic priest.  (Well, okay, one of a thousand reasons!)  I need a wife.  (And have one, thank the Lord!)

So, when I need advice, I turn to the Lord, call on my counselors, and listen to my wife.

And then?

And then, I still have to make the decision myself.  I have no hesitation in going against the advice of mentors and spouse, deacons and even the entire congregation, if I’m certain a direction is of the Lord.  I’m trying to think of such an instance, but nothing comes to mind at the moment. Even if it did, that feels like another article altogether.

God help us to be wise in knowing His will and forthright in doing it, to be humble in working with others and gracious to those who disagree with us.