Did you hear the one about New Orleans’ Mayor C. Ray Nagin?

In Chicago recently to address a convention, he was walking down Michigan Avenue and noticed in the window of a tailor shop a beautiful sport coat. He walked inside and asked the proprietor if he had it in his size. The man said, “Each one is specially made, sir. I’d be happy to make you one.”

The mayor said, “I’m just in the city overnight. Let me buy the material and I’ll have it made back in New Orleans.” He brought the material home on the plane.

A few days later, the mayor’s tailor came by City Hall. He measured the mayor, studied the material, and said, “Mister Mayor, would you like a pair of pants also?”

Nagin said, “I’d love a pair of pants. Are you sure there’s enough material?”

“I’m sure of it. In fact, I can probably get you two pairs. And how about a vest?”

“Now wait a minute,” said the mayor. “I bought just enough material in Chicago for a sports coat. Now you’re telling me there’s enough there for a sports coat, two pairs of pants, and a vest. How could that be?”

The tailor said, “Mr. Mayor, there’s something you need to understand. You are a much bigger man in Chicago than you are in New Orleans.”

(Joe’s notes. Okay, that didn’t actually happen. I heard the mayor of San Antonio, Henry Cisneros, tell it on himself twenty years ago. It’s a good story, and works best when you tell it on yourself.

I suggested to the pastors at our weekly meeting today, Wednesday, that they could use this in a sermon. The message might begin with this: People often wonder why preachers like to fly to other cities and preach revivals. There are many reasons of a high spiritual nature, but one real-basic reason is simply that in the other city you’re treated like you’re somebody. You’re the honored guest, and who doesn’t enjoy that role once in a while?

But it’s not just mayors and preachers. Everyone wants to feel special. It’s just human. That may be the reason I Peter 2:17 calls on believers to “Honor all men.” We are to make everyone feel special.

You may know of a church that has as its slogan “The Church Where Everybody is Somebody and Jesus is Lord.” That’s the idea.

Unfortunately, some churches specialize in making a visitor feel like a nobody. But how can a person be a nobody, a cipher, a zero, when God thought he was of enough value that He sent His Son to redeem him? And who knows a person’s worth better than his Creator?

Okay, guys. You can take it from there!)

SECOND STORY.

Fred Luter told this one today to the ministers.

A doctor, a lawyer, and a preacher are hunting together. Suddenly, a deer springs into the open and all three fire their guns at the same time. Each man is sure it was his shot that brought that deer down.

The doctor says, “Let me examine the animal and I’ll tell you whose shot killed him.”

He came back in a few minutes and said, “It was the preacher’s shot that got him.” The lawyer exploded. “Wait a minute! I shot that deer. What makes you so sure it was the preacher’s shot that got him?”

The doctor said, “It was simple. That bullet went in one ear and out the other.”

(Note: That’s a good one to tell on your preacher, particularly if he’s on the program and you have to introduce him. It will get a good laugh, then you can say, “And here he is–Pastor Chuck Herring!” Or whoever.)

THIRD STORY.

Well, it’s not exactly a story. It’s something I ran across this week from some dear friends, Dave and Kathleen Zastrow, who pastor West Seneca Community Church in Western New York State. They were members of our church in Kenner while attending the seminary, then pastored a couple of churches on the Northshore of Lake Pontchartrain before returning north to their homeland.

In a newsletter, Dave wrote this below. It was so creative, I adapted it for an article at the time–this must have been 4 or 5 years ago–and I’m confident some of our readers will connect with it. If you know someone beginning a new church somewhere, send it to them.

“YOU KNOW YOU ARE A CHURCH PLANTER WHEN….”

1. You have a full-size copier donated by another church taking up a major portion of your bedroom.

2. You try to get the copier in your bedroom to look like a piece of furniture, but to no avail. Kathleen has tried everything.

3. You meet every Sunday in the VFW hall with a fully loaded bar in the corner and a bingo board that fills one wall.

4. You have some ex-Catholics who call you ‘Father’ and suggest that we utilize the bar in the corner for communion and the bingo board for displaying attendance, and they are serious.

5. When the pastor, educational minister, youth pastor, and secretary are the same person. Dave says, “I never realized how time-consuming making bulletins can be.”

6. When you never hear ‘we’ve never done it that way before’ or ‘we tried that once and it didn’t work.’ Praise the Lord.

7. When you say, ‘Open to the book of Romans,’ and half the church turns to the table of contents to find it.

8. When important decisions are made by the church without getting permission from a committee that has to pray about it, check the budget, discuss it with some outside sources and key influencers, then bring it to the deacons to do the same which is then brought to the church to do the same, only to realize the opportunity was missed because of all the red tape.

9. Every time you stand up to preach, it’s the first time most of those folks have ever heard about that particular text.

10. When you pray for God to ‘bless the missionaries,’ you’re talking about yourself.

I wish you could know the Zastrows. Dave led his mother to Christ in a car wash. Really. As the car emerged into the sunlight, sparkling clean and fresh, so did the new believer who was his mother.

Dave’s life text is John 3:30, “He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less.”

Would you please pause a moment and pray Heaven’s blessings upon Dave and Kathleen and their son Anthony? Thank you.

(For a full report on today’s pastors meeting, go to www.bagnola.org.)