I’m on this “the preacher needs a buddy” kick in this week’s articles. Obviously, not everyone agrees. Some are offended by the thought, as though we’re suggesting that Jesus is not enough.

I’m not suggesting it. I’m saying it.

Well, to be precise, what I’m saying is: One of the primary ways the Lord works in your (and my) life is through other people. And He has chosen not to alter that system even for the most spiritual, most mature, and most godly.

How’s that? Clear enough.

The pastor (an all-encompassing term in my lexicon which refers to ministers, missionaries, shepherds, church staffers) who tries to go it alone in ministry is choosing to walk with a limp, to work with one hand behind him, to limit his effectiveness, and to let a large part of his personality atrophy.

On the other hand….

When a minister climbs out of his shell and reaches out to befriend two or three colleagues in the Lord’s work, when he makes friends of others called into this service, at least 12 things happen, all of them good.

First, to clarify: When two or three ministers become great friends in the Lord’s work, when they meet together regularly and pray for each other, when they hold one another accountable, and once in a while pull their wives into the gathering, at least a dozen great things occur.

1. You will feel better about your ministry.

How often have I had to tell a struggling pastor–particularly a young one–that what he’s going through is normal, that this pain has an expiration date, and that God is using these trials for good things in the future! In time, he sees all of this and gives thanks for the pain. (I wonder about those pastors who have no one to affirm or encourage them because they become so secretive about their work, so defensive about their ministries, and so locked-in with their inadequacies.)

2. You will not feel so alone about your church problems.

For five years, I worked with all 100+ Southern Baptist pastors in the metro New Orleans area, and I can tell you, the frustrations experienced by one were usually shared by many others. But so long as we isolate ourselves, we don’t know that and fall into the Elijah trap of feeling, “I’m the only one left–and I’m not doing so good either!” What a relief to know you have some faithful friends who have been there/done that and who assure you that your situation is normal.

3. You will be more at peace within your own heart.

Anything that reinforces God’s call upon us and that affirms the work we are doing for Him has to be good.

4. Your guilt over your performance not living up to God’s standard of perfection will ease.

A pastor friend hears your tale of woe, then laughs, “Been there, done that!” You realize your frustration is normal and widespread and not a sign of failure in the Lord’s work. Wow. A burden is lifted.

5. You will like yourself a little better.

When we feel better about our ministries and our calling, we feel better about ourselves. Anything that liberates us from the soul-deadening burden of guilt over not achieving a standard of perfection has to be a good thing!

6. You will like God more. He is making Himself known to you through others.

This is precisely what Paul says about the coming of Titus in II Corinthians 7:6. God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus.

7. You will have an outlet for your frustrations, someone(s) to whom you can vent and do so safely.

Preachers have frustrations, too. (Oh, do they ever!) The problem is there is rarely anyone to whom they can express them with the confidence they won’t be shared. But when he shares these burdens with another minister who is either having the same miseries or has just come through them, he knows they will not be told.

8. You will be easier to live with and your wife will like you better.

When I feel badly about myself, I am a bear to live with. When I struggle with feelings of inadequacy and guilt drives me to work longer and longer hours, our marriage relationship suffers. But when things are going well in my heart and in my work, my joy is infectious and the people around me are glad.

9. You will become a strength to others.

The pastor who is always struggling to get on top of his work, who feels like a failure in his preaching, and shuts himself off from one of the main sources God provides to strengthen him, that pastor is not going to be able to give himself to the people around him who need his comfort and encouragement.

When I feel great in the Lord, I’m able to give to others. It’s that simple.

10. Your sermons will become fresher, deeper, and connect better.

You have sat at your breakfast table with three preacher buddies. You’ve discussed your upcoming sermons and have given them your insights about what they will be preaching. As a result, you’ve had additional thoughts on scriptures and stories and insights. You’ve learned of a book or an article which will help.

Without knowing what’s going on, your people will rejoice. Your sermons are stronger and more effective.

11. You become a great strength for the other ministers.

One of the lies Satan hands us is that all the other ministers are doing fine, that you alone are the failure. But when you sit across the table in an unhurried hour, having coffee and sharing laughs with two or three other pastors, you get an education in a hurry. You find you were not alone, that they are going through the very same struggles as you. What a relief. Here’s what happens….

As you leave and get on with your day, a warmth fills your spirit. You are smiling inside. You can’t wait to get into the study with your open Bible and work on Sunday’s sermon with the new insights you’ve gained. And the other ministers are feeling the same way. That’s the blessing. You are each a strength and encouragement for the other.

12. The Lord in Heaven smiles. He has just won a great victory over the enemy who had been trying to keep you isolated, lonely, and guilt-ridden.

Good for you, friend. That joy you feel in your soul is just the overflow of the joy in Heaven being experienced by The One who loves you best, longest, and deepest.

Oscar Williams pastors a Southern Baptist Church in the Franklin Avenue section of New Orleans. After Hurricane Katrina came through our part of the world and did so much devastation, Oscar joined us and found so many new friends. Once in sharing a testimony of coming into our ministers’ group, he began by saying, “Before, when I was alone….”

I wrote that down. Wow. He recognized that when he had no friends in the ministry, when he cut himself off from others, he was alone. He was saved, called, and obedient. But he was lonely.

At the same time, Forel Bering, another of our pastors, dropped a line into his own testimony. He said,”It gets lonely out there.”

It does.

Pastors know it. The pastor of the mega-church gets lonely. What I wish he knew–and so few seem to–is that the fellowship for which he longs can be filled wonderfully by sitting down with almost any group of Christ-honoring preachers on the planet. He is fooling only himself by thinking he can only fellowship with megapastors now that he’s on this higher plane. What a joke.

Some of the brightest pastors, smartest people period, in the Lord’s work are bi-vocational. Some of the best Bible teachers anywhere do not have seminary degrees. And some of the most effect pastors and greatest souls in the ministry serve churches running less than one hundred.

They’re out there, lonely pastor. Go find them.