“I love you; give me money.” (The art and science of manipulation)

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, because you devour widows’ houses even while for a pretense you make long prayers….” (Matthew 23:14)

A stock cartoon situation that has set up punch lines for thousands of comics has someone climbing to the top of a mountain to consult a guru for his pearls of wisdom.  In today’s Hagar comic strip, our favorite Viking plunderer has scaled the mountain. He says to the bearded seer: “O wise one, you are like a father to me.”

The old man answers, “I am honored. What is your question?”  Hagar says, “Lend me money.”

Thanks to the internet, those of us who write these articles frequently hear from the Lord’s people across the globe. That’s one of the great blessings of ministry in these days.  The other day, a fellow in an African country telephoned me. That was unusual.

Our connection was difficult, so I suggested he use email.  Within the hour, there was his message.  He wanted me to know what good work he was doing for the Lord and how difficult it was.  I responded in a typical way, thanking him and saying I was praying Heaven’s blessings upon his work.  (And yes, I stopped at that moment and prayed.)

He didn’t waste any time. His next email hit me up for money.

What’s funny is that his message had a typo.  Instead of saying he needed a “car,” he he could use a “cat for my ministry.”  I replied, “A cat? You need a cat?”

His reply apologized for the typo and assured me it’s a car he needs. “Two thousand dollars will buy a good car in this country.” He added, “My birthday is July 1st and it would make a wonderful birthday present.”

I waited a while, wondering whether to ignore him altogether or to respond. Clearly, all Americans are rich in his thinking. And by tugging at our heart strings, he can loosen our restraints enough to untie our purses.

A few hours later, I wrote him. “My friend, did you think I am so foolish as to send a large amount of money to someone I do not know simply because he said he’s doing the Lord’s work? There are so many scam artists in the world today.”

He took it in stride and responded with ways to check out his ministry.

Sorry.  It doesn’t work that way.

Even if it turns out that he is doing significant work for the Lord, I can take you to a hundred–many hundreds, in fact–people doing important work for the Lord, all of whom could use a sudden gift of $2,000.

We used to tease my big brother Ron about his manipulative ways when we were growing up.  As the eldest of six children, Ron took upon himself the mantle of authority anytime mom and dad weren’t in sight.  The youngest of our clan was Charlie.   Charlie might have been 6 or 7 at the time this happened, making Ron 15 or 16. I heard this exchange myself and burst out laughing.

Ron: “Charlie, are you my buddy?”

Charlie: “What do you want me to do?”

Our kid brother had him figured out.  (Ron became a Baptist preacher and served the Lord mightily for over 50 years.  He’s coming up on birthday number 79 now.  Our family is forever grateful for his take-charge ways which brought a thousand blessings for our parents as they aged, as well as for his family and the churches he served.)

Pastors must always be wary of the temptation to manipulate people.

Anyone wishing to see how it’s done need merely to turn the television to the big-shot independent preachers who specialize in healings, spiritual gifts, and signs and wonders upon their “partners,” while practically guaranteeing answers to prayers and personal success.  They know no shame, believe me.

The devil “took (our Lord) upon a very high mountain and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world, and their glory.”

“He said to Him, ‘All these things will I give you, if you fall down and worship me.” (Matthew 4:8-9)

Satan is a master at manipulation.  “Do this little thing and I will give you huge rewards.”

See the tempter at work in the Garden. “Now, the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, ‘Indeed, has God said, “You shall not eat from any tree of the garden?”‘

He told Eve, “God knows that in the day you eat (from that tree) your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” (Genesis 3)

Do these things for your own good and, oh, by the way, do this little thing for me on the side, and we will all be happy.

Pastors must ever be careful…

1) Not to manipulate contributors.

In encouraging people to tithe and give sacrificially, we must have no ulterior motives.  Years ago, I heard of a church that guaranteed the pastor 10 percent of the offerings as his pay.  Of all the terrible situations in the world, that one must be the worst. Anytime he preached on stewardship, his motives were suspect.

Some years ago, the church I served was struggling to stay solvent due to a split before I arrived, which had left a fraction of the congregation with millions of dollars in debt. When the Lord gave me a wonderful plan to promote stewardship over the summer months, it resulted in great increases in contributions (and spiritual blessings in all who gave). As a result, the leadership requested the church to grant me a raise.  Since I was hurting financially, this was a great help.  However, those who look for something to criticize put two and two together and came up with five.  “He preached on giving so he would get a raise!”

I’m not saying we must hold back from obedience lest we be criticized.  Criticism by the enemy–and those influenced by him–is always present.  However, we must be careful (and prayerful) concerning our own motives.

2) Not to manipulate decisions for Christ.

In motivating people to confess Christ, join the church and be baptized, ministers must not be doing this for their own glory.  In many denominations, pastors are recognized and promoted by the size of their congregation and the numbers they report (baptisms, additions to the membership rolls, budgets, etc.).

3) Not to manipulate anyone to do anything, ever!

I’ve known of preachers conning members into taking Holy Land trips because they received commissions from the tour companies, which provided a nice side income.  The remedy is for ministers to a) tell the church if this is the case and/or b) to contribute the commission to the church or return it to those enlisted for the tour.

As pastor, I must not influence young people to attend my college or for wealthy members to make contributions to it, to put me in good with the president.

I must not use wealthy members of my church in order to promote myself.

Pastor, you are either a servant or you are not.

If you are a servant, rein in the ego and nail the need for recognition and advancement to the cross.

Look around your church and throughout your community for ways to serve people.  If you can pull it off without receiving recognition, so much the better.

Conquer the need to drive the fanciest car, to wear the sportiest clothing, to appear to be more than you are.

“With humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than yourself” (Philippians 2:3).

Keep uppermost in your mind the words of the Lord Jesus who said, “I am among you as one who serves” (Luke 22:27).

Do this and you will be the farthest thing from a manipulator.






One thought on ““I love you; give me money.” (The art and science of manipulation)

  1. Great refreshing article. For a long time I noticed financial manipulation in the church which led me to writing a book titled Saints Made Merchandise. This was so because to certain preachers congregants are mere trading stock. If trained to believe that their donations will make them rich, the preacher will forever have a source of easy money. To some people prosperity consists of money and material wealth and nothing more. However, to me prosperity must be a byproduct of blessing. In fact it is written, “the blessing of the Lord make the rich …” It therefore follows that the pursuit of wealth may be futile. The following link has an extract of the book’s extract.

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