Elton was a new pastor of a small church up the highway from here. To call him excited is an understatement.
Early in the process, Elton announced to the deacons they would hold an overnight retreat and talk about how things should be done. So far, so good, I suppose.
At the retreat, this new pastor informed his leaders that he would be calling the shots and making all important decisions and their job was to support him.
Elton was fired the next week.
The problem–well, one of them–is that the church Elton came from was run in just that way. The longtime pastor ruled as a benevolent dictator. Those who did not like it were encouraged to find another place to worship. And since the church had grown to be the largest in the area, it appeared that this methodology had Heaven’s blessing.
Let’s talk about trust. The new church did not trust Pastor Elton for the simple reason that they did not know him. When he tried to rule with a heavy hand, they rebelled and he was out of work.
Want to hear something confusing?
In college baseball, the coach is called “Coach.” But in Major League Baseball, the coach is called the “manager.” In high school football, the manager is a kid who takes care of the equipment and runs errands for the coach.
All of which is to make the point, just because members call you the pastor, you’re not necessarily in charge.
The word means one thing to some and something else to others.
The word “pastor” is akin to our word “pasture” and means a “shepherd,” one who cares for the Lord’s flock.
The new pastor who arrives at a church and instantly expects everyone to follow him will learn all too quickly that they’re not quite ready to do that just yet.
The people must trust the preacher before they will follow him.
The question is how to gain that trust.
1) Trust comes with experience, not with the job, the office, or the title.
2) Trust comes with personal contact, not with mass ministry.
3) Trust comes with time.
4) Do not insist that people trust you. You must earn their confidence. They will give you their trust when they decide it’s safe, you are dependable, and they are ready.
5) Do nothing abruptly (without proper preparation for your members and in particular your leaders) that is a departure from the norm.
6) Show yourself trustworthy in the routine ministry–sermons, administration, leadership of the staff, leadership of the program, and then the extras: weddings, funerals, crisis counseling, etc.
7) Start small. Let them see that you are committed to them and can be trusted to lead them in safe ways to secure places.
8) Do not overpromise or exaggerate. Tell the truth. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you promise to look up a scripture and get an explanation back to someone, do it.
9)Do not hesitate to apologize when you fail to keep a promise.
10) Celebrate those who do well.
Call the attention of the church to staffers and members who have served well, have anniversaries, or have received some well-earned recognition. Once people see that you are secure and do not mind praising others who serve well, they will trust you more.
11) Now, do not make the mistake of waiting too long to redeem your credits. Once the congregation sees it can trust you, lead out.
12) Make sure you are staying with Christlike and biblical principles of leadership: gracioiusness, vision, humility, submission, and courage.
13) At no time–no matter how great the trust level–should a pastor play the “Authority Card.” You know, “do this because I say so, I’m the God-appointed leader.” If you have to do that, you’ve lost before you left the starting gate.
Eyes always on the Lord, heart always for God’s people, feet firmly planted on the solid rock of His Word, and hands at work serving and blessing. Be a team-player, celebrate victories, and teach your people to pray.
It’s a sure-fire combination for blessing the Lord and honoring His church.
One of the best ideas our Senior Pastor, Dr. Bill Coates had when he first arrived 15 years ago, was to visit each week with one or two of our Senior Adults (singles and couples) in their home! These were long time members of the church who had invested much. He found a “church mother” who knew the Sr. Adults well and she began soon after he arrived to set up the appointments (usally on a Thursday or Friday afternoon) for coffee and dessert. She would visit with him when the visit was to a single Sr. Adult woman. After his first year, he had visited over 100 of our most faithful members in their homes and added names to their faces. During those visits, he heard their church and family history and they heard his vision and dreams for the church. The trust level rose quickly and there has been great harmony in our church since he arrived. Bottom Line…he won them over quickly! I would suggest this practice to any new pastor!
Another great post with some really quality advice for pastoral leadership.
Regarding playing the AUTHORITY card– I think that once in a great while this might become necessary.
It needs to be a REALLY RARE THING though.
We had a situation with a business deal that had blown up in the church’s face– because of that– a certain amount of anger towards an outside party was generated– and if the church went one direction it would cost the church several thousand dollars– and if they went the other they would end up cheating the other party– When the issue came up in business meeting there was a lot of discussion about both directions… Finally, I stood and declared that it could not be right to end up cheating the other party under any circumstances… and if the church voted to do so– I would be unable to continue as pastor. The church voted to take the financial hit and do the right thing by the other party, with one vote against it. In nearly thirty years, this is the only time I stood firmly on one side or another of an issue– and I believe it was the right thing to do.
I have always believed pastors should stay at arm’s length from the church finances, avoiding the power to decided spending, etc. From there–I let the finances get TOO DISTANT and when the bookkeeping became sloppy, etc. I had not clue.. Though I was not involved with balancing the books, etc. I also had provided no oversight for such. When the problems arose, I took the blame for the mess (though only part of it was mine) and the church began to clean up the mess by electing a new treasurer– now- the new treasurer and I meet at least once per week, we double check the balances and bills, and though I do not have the ability or control of funds– there are some checks and balances in place.. Pastors have to find the right balance in regards to situations like this.. but when the pastor stands before the church and says “I let this get away from us….” followed by “we’re going to fix this by___________________” it inspires confidence in the membership.
Expanding on number 9:
If you make a mistake– don’t attempt to minimize it, justify it, etc. Instead, simply take the blame AND work to fix the problem that was created.
Also– I’d add to the list:
Be careful about criticizing the last pastor, even if the church FIRED him! You may be filling his position, but you are not really walking in his shoes.
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Great stuff, David. Thanks for this, and I agree that there are rare times when the pastor must take a stand and lay his body across the tracks to either be run over or stop that train!
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Great points about building and maintaining trust. I agree about trust taking time to build, a leader must earn the trust of their people over time by having good actions and attitudes. I enjoyed this post, you have a new reader.
Thanks for the tips, may the Lord continue to bless and inspire