It would have been almost funny had it not been so serious.

In a session with the leadership of a troubled church, I gave them examples of congregations I’ve seen over nearly a half-century of ministry that dealt with similar divisive situations as they were facing, sometimes wisely and sometimes not.

I told of one church where the new pastor was discovered to be a homosexual and was making overtures to a student in the congregation. When the deacon leadership found out, they dealt with it promptly and firmly. All the congregation knew was that the pastor resigned suddenly and was moved back to South Carolina. Because the members supported their leadership, no one left the church. Six months later, I came as pastor of that wonderful church and stayed over a dozen years.

I told of a church where the new pastor’s girlfriend’s father came to town and confronted him. “Tell these people what you’ve been doing or I’ll tell them for you!” The pastor called a quick meeting of the deacons and informed them of this sordid business in his “distant past which the Lord has forgiven.” The deacons had no clue what to do but within days, the congregation began unraveling at the seams. Seven months later, they finally voted that pastor out, but not before half the congregation had departed. A year later, I came as pastor of that damaged church and stayed nearly fourteen years.

One church handled its problem well, the other did not.

Then, a week after our meeting, the chairman of deacons of the church I was trying to help called. “One of our former pastors was talking to some of our members this week. He told them you were the preacher who tore up that church. He said you were the culprit.” Furthermore, he said, that rumor was being circulated throughout the congregation.

I said, “Can you give me that pastor’s phone number?”

I called him in another state.

After filling him in on the facts, I said, “And now I hear you are telling the people in this church that I am the culprit, that I’m the one who tore up that church I told them about.”

I said, “My friend, when this all happened in that church, I was pastoring in North Carolina. I came here in September of 1990 and had to clean up the mess that pastor left.”

There was a long pause. Then he said, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

I said, “I forgive you. But I expect you to make some phone calls to try to undo this.”

I felt like adding, “You really ought to stay out of the workings of a church you’re no longer serving, particularly when you don’t know what you’re talking about.” But I didn’t. There’s no point in piling on.

As one who believes in pastors and defends them at every opportunity, I’m not blind to the faults of members of the ministry. Some pastors love to gossip, and hungrily grasp at the latest news of another preacher’s being caught embezzling money or carrying on with the organist and can’t wait to pass it on. Thankfully, not all are this way, but some are.

In 1941, a secret division of the British government set up headquarters in New York City, charged with creating rumors to undermine opponents of aid and support for Britain as that country fought against Hitler. The “Rumor Factory,” as it was called, spread misleading stories through newspapers and radio as well as by word of mouth.

In “The Irregulars: Roald Dahl and the British Spy Ring in Wartime Washington,” Jennet Conant lists the basic principles governing activities of the Rumor Factory:

1) A good rumor should never be traceable to its source.

2) A rumor should be of the kind that is likely to grow in the telling and retelling.

3) Rumors should be designed for particular groups (Catholics, Czechs, Poles, etc.).

4) A particular rumor should have a specific purpose.

5) To be most effective, a rumor should originate in several places at the same time and in such a way that they shuttle back and forth, with each telling reinforcing the other.

Winston Churchill is famous for saying that in wartime, the truth is so precious it must be protected by a bodyguard of lies.

Even if we can make a case for lying and misleading in wartime in order to achieve noble purposes — even if we can, and that is debatable — there is no excuse for God’s people to resort to such tactics in the service of the Lord Jesus Christ.

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)

I’ve not only been the butt of a false rumor (is there any other kind?), but I confess to have instigated one. I was a young pastor at the time and irritated at what I perceived as the ungodly way of life of a fellow in our community. When someone mentioned him to me, I rashly stated that he was immoral and given to preying on gullible women. The fact is, I had no clue what I was talking about. I was making a judgement on the young man based solely on his reputation.

One hour later, that young man’s sister, a member of our church and my neighbor, called me at the church office. Just that quickly, she had heard the slanderous comment about her brother. Did I say such a thing? She wanted to know.

I lied. I told her I had not said such a thing and hemmed and hawed until I came up with an explanation that satisfied her.

For many years, I carried the knowledge of that lie in my heart. And then one day, that woman and her husband visited us in New Orleans. As they sat in our living room, I said, “I need to apologize to you. Twenty-five years ago, I told you a lie — and it has eaten at my soul all this time.” She was stunned. Not the wonderful Brother Joe, the pastor they had always thought so highly of, surely I didn’t lie.

Yep. I did. And I told her the whole story. She forgave me on the spot and I was free.

Best I can tell, the only person I really hurt by that rumor was myself. But, brother, did I ever!

Recently after I wrote here about the death of Dr. Frank Pollard a friend emailed me to say that he remembered Dr. Pollard telling something his father said after he was called into the ministry. Frank’s mother was a Christian but his father was not. His father said, “Son whatever you do, don’t get the Christians mad at you.”

That seems to be wisdom for the ages.