Last night I attended our state Baptists’ annual meeting at a church near here.  Hundreds of pastors and wives were there, along with a good number of (ahem) normal Christians.  My good friend Shawn Parker is the state executive and I wanted to hear him preach.  He was outstanding, as usual.

I didn’t stay long since I’m caregiver for my Bertha and I don’t like to leave her for long periods.

And this morning, I have awakened with something on my heart.  Something from the Lord, I believe.

Here it comes…

I want to say a word to a pastor who is thinking of committing adultery.  Don’t ask me how I know; I just know.

You are captivated by a woman who is gorgeous, who is intelligent and–well, let’s just say she is all the things you have decided your wife is not.  In your mind you are going over all the things you and she would do together. Many of them X-rated.  Furthermore, you believe she feels the same way.

Here is my word to you.

Stop it.

You are about to make the biggest mistake of your life.

I want to tell you a story.

A pastor friend came to me some years back.  For some reason, he decided to confide in me.  “I’m going to leave my wife.  The woman I want belongs to a church I used to pastor.  She is beyond wonderful and I want to be married to her.”

I knew he and his wife had married too young, many years earlier.  When they grew up, they now had several children and he was the respected pastor of a Southern Baptist church.  For him to leave his wife would mean the end of his ministry as well as untold suffering for his family.

I talked him out of it. Basically, what I said to him is what I want to say to you:

–1) Sure, you will enjoy it….for a time. But the new, the excitement, wears off.  And you will have to find a way to support two families, your present one and your new family.  This will be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life.

You say, “But we deserve this.”  That’s a lie out of hell.  You do not!

–2) The pain you cause will be widespread and everlasting.  The hurt will reverberate into every church you have served, every community where you were respected, and throughout your family. For your children it will never go away.  And furthermore, your guilt will torment you forever.  Sure, God can forgive it.  But seeing the hurt in people you love will always stay with you.

You say, “The children will adjust.”  No, I’m sorry to say, not going to happen.  Even if  they say they forgive you, the damage will never go away. 

–3) In time, you will decide this was the stupidest thing you have ever done.

Remember when Nathan confronted David in Second Samuel, chapter 12?

When the prophet rebuked the king, he made three points which are relevant to our discussion today:

(1) In your adultery and all the things you did to disguise it, you have despised the word of the Lord. (12:9)

(2) Furthermore, you have despised Me (God!).  (12:10)  God took it personally.

(3) As a result, you have delighted the enemies of the Lord. (12:14)  We can just hear the infidels: “So, the holy man of God is just as sinful as the rest of us!  What a hypocrite. All his ranting and raving about a holy God! ha.”

But you say, I can’t make myself start loving my wife!

Actually, you can.

You may not be able to make yourself “feel” the love, but you can sure start loving her the way God’s word instructs us. For one huge reason…

In Scripture, love is something you do.

And not so much, what you feel.

Now, let’s acknowledge that is backward to how the world views love.  But you and I do not get our guidance from the world, do we?  For the mind set on the flesh is death (that’s Romans 8:6) and the mind set on the flesh is hostile to God (and that’s the very next verse, Romans 8:7).

Okay, so, how do I make myself love my wife?

I’m glad you asked.

For that we need to turn to Luke 6:27, and read the next ten verses or so.  (I’ll pause while you do.  This is important, so don’t skip it. It may be the most critical teaching our Lord ever gave.)

It’s from the Lord Jesus Himself. You would know that He would know the human heart if anyone does, right?

He’s telling us how to love the most unlovely people we know, calling them our enemies.

Luke 6 verse 27 answers three questions.  1) who is this teaching for?  2) Who are my enemies?  3) How do I love them?

–1. Who is it for?  Jesus says, “I say to you who hear.”  Get that? Not everyone hears spiritual things.  The natural man does not receive the things of the spirit; they are spiritually discerned (I Corinthians 2:14).

–2. Who are my enemies? Answer: those who hate you, curse you, mistreat you, hit you, take what is yours, etc.

–3. How am I to love these despicable people?  Answer: do good things to them, bless them (say good things to them), pray for them and give to them.

Do good. Bless. Pray. Give.  The four most basic acts of love.

You can do those four things without the accompanying pleasant emotions.  Just do them.

Now, write this in big letters on your heart. It may be the most important thing you will hear this year:    LOVE IS SOMETHING YOU DO.

In scripture, love is an action, and rarely an emotion.

God so loved that He gave.

So, do this to the woman you are married to.  Do good things to her.  Say good things to her.  Pray for her.  Give gifts to her.

And in time, I will make you a promise: You will feel the emotions of love for her.

The emotion of love–the feelings–are like the caboose of a train. (Remember cabooses?)  It follows the train. But it would be a huge mistake to try to pull the train by the caboose.

That’s all.  Nothing very profound.  But it may save you from inflicting incredible pain on the people you love most.