How to stay at one church 42 years.

My friend Pastor Dave has led a congregation in our neighborhood for two thirds of his life.  It’s a sweet fellowship and even though our denominational affiliation is different, he has kindly invited me to fill the pulpit in his absence on several occasions.

Recently, over lunch, I asked Dave how he managed to stay in one church over four decades. Were there not times when church members rose up and demanded new leadership? Did he not get the urge to try something new?

“Give me your top three ways to stay at a church for 42 years,” I told him.  He did not hesitate….

1) First, take a long view from the very beginning.

The new pastor, Dave said, should plan to stay a minimum of five years from the first.

I smiled at that.  It reminded me of Jeremiah 29:4-6 where God told Israel they would be in Babylon for 70 years and thus should “unpack your bags, build houses, plant gardens, have weddings and raise families.”

2) Encourage those who help you.

Church leadership is a team effort. Find those who make the team work and give them the nourishing support they need.

3) Enjoy the highs and stay steady in the lows. Both will come.

Dave said, “My church never had any serious conflict.  There was no movement to get me to leave.” He thought a moment, then added, “We did have a few back door revivals (when people left).  I’ve heard those horror stories from pastor friends who were butchered. But the Lord spared me all that.”

That is the sum total of Dave’s plan to remain at a church for 42 years.  I am impressed, I must say.  Having endured conflicts of one form or the other in almost every church I pastored, it’s almost imaginable to think of him having none.

I’m not entirely sure I envy him though. While the various trials in my churches were no fun, and I carry permanent scars from two or three conflicts, the greatest lessons and biggest blessings are all associated with those times of crisis. Also, some of my best stories.

My crisis times are like what Dad used to say about his six children: “I wouldn’t take a million dollars for one of them; I wouldn’t give you a dime for another.”

Now, analyzing Dave’s advice for remaining at a church for decades, it might help to put matters in perspective.  Dave’s church is not large, and my observation is that his denomination has few mega-churches. So, perhaps the mentality–for want of a better word–differs from the atmosphere in denominations that are always pushing to do bigger and better, have more baptisms, report higher numbers, construct greater buildings.  If our Southern Baptist Convention is not the prime offender in this matter, we are definitely in the playoff.

Back to the subject at hand:  How a pastor can remain at a church for decades. 

I’m also a 42-year man. In a way.

The difference is that in my 42 years, I pastored six churches!  (Smiley-face goes here.)

The earlier pastorates were shorter, as is the case with most preachers just starting out. But then, I stayed with one church for nearly 13 years and another for almost 14.  Perhaps those two rather-lengthy ministries qualify me to add a few observations to Dave’s three.

To remain at a church for many years, a pastor needs to develop certain skills. Among them are these:

1)  Perfect the art of apologizing.

You’re normal, pastor.  You’re going to miss someone who needed ministry, say something you’d like to take back, and offend someone needlessly.  It happens. The pastor has never been born who led his congregation flawlessly from start to finish. Learn early in your ministry how to go to an offended person and say “I’m sorry” and “Please forgive me” and mean it, and you will make the rest of your years in the Lord’s work far easier.

Some pastors leave a string of broken relationships in their wake. Eventually, with no more support, they move on to the next church and repeat the process.  If they would humble themselves and work to mend broken fences, they might do themselves a great favor. (And wouldn’t their families enjoy living in a community longer than two or three years?)

2) Organize your preaching so you will not repeat yourself more than you’d like.

One of the main criticisms of long-time pastors is they preach the same sermons over and over.  (Is it necessary to say you must not do that?)

However, any effective pastor will want to repeat something from time to time.  You might even choose to tell a story you’ve used before. Naturally, you will preach the same scripture text more than once, and some several times.  But you should do so with full knowledge that you preached that text on such-and-such a date, and while the text may be the same, make sure the sermon is new and fresh.

3) Grow.  If you remain the same person, at the same level of spirituality and biblical understanding, without ever developing, nothing about this bodes well for the church.  You want your members to keep on growing and developing in Christ; you must do so also. Take correspondence courses, attend conferences, read books, and pick the brain of the most effective ministers you know.  Don’t be afraid to try new things.

4) Get into the community.  Find a way to widen your influence and connect with the people who make the community work. Appreciate city leaders who do well. Be careful about taking positions on community matters you’re not fully educated about.

When two ladies from the chamber of commerce visited my office to ask me to join their beautification committee, my first inclination was to decline.  Once they told me what it involved, I accepted.  I ended up cutting television spots on community sanitation and civic pride.  When the college formed a board for the new symphony and invited me to join, I did.  Neither of these was time-consuming, but I ended up meeting a lot of people in the community I’d have missed otherwise.  Some joined my church.

5) Learn to love your critics. 

Every church will have trouble-makers and every preacher will have his naysayers.  My counsel is to read Luke 6:27-38 again and again until the Lord’s lessons on “how to deal with jerks” (oops–sorry) become second nature to you. What are those lessons? I’m glad you asked…

That scripture is about loving your enemies.  The counsel is not for everyone, only for “those who hear.” (6:27) Not everyone “gets” spiritual things. See I Corinthians 2:14 for that.

So, who are your enemies? Answer:  those who hate you, curse you, threaten you, harm you, or take from you what is yours.

How can I love them? I don’t even like them?  Answer: He didn’t say you had to like them. Some of them He doesn’t like either.  You just have to love them.  And what does that mean?  In the Bible, love is something you do. And the Lord is commanding that we “do loving things” to the people who wish us harm.

What loving things? We are to:  a) Do good to them; b) Bless them (say uplifting things to them); c) Pray for them (asking God for His will in them); and Give to them.

When you go out of your way to do loving things for your worst critics, you will win some of them over.  You will honor the Lord Jesus Christ. And you will tickle the socks off the right-minded people in the congregation who know what the “bad guys” are doing and see how beautifully you are responding.

Eventually, you will outlive your adversaries. Some will change, some will die, and others will move away. The rest will give up.

It’s so worthwhile staying at a church for many years.  Studies show longevity for pastors to be a key element in growing a great church.

Let’s see you do it.

 

 

6 thoughts on “How to stay at one church 42 years.

  1. Thanks Brother Joe for another great read and a reminder to do certain things like keeping track of sermons preached , and how to handle church problems with love. I pray my first church will be my last , it may be unrealistic but that is my prayer and God sure has blessed me and my wife with some good hearted folks. Troy

  2. I agree with what you added, Joe—if one is to speak to the same audience week after week, one must learn to be creative and attempt to not repeat matters the same
    way. It is inevitable to repeat the same subjects, but teaching them a slightly different way can be a big plus! My “community connection” was a providential work of the Lord, but it was appreciated.

  3. His congregants must have loved him. Likely, he was part of their lives. I have know some long tenured pastors who seemed to genuinely care (Methodist pastors are one group who seem to care and appear happy). I would suggest for those who want to go long term that they talk to those people whom they don’t like or don’t want to deal with (singles, young, liberal, highly educated, doubters, etc). If the congregation gets to voice an opinion if some want to fire or run off the pastor, the people who think the pastor was good to them will defend him/her. The ones who were ignored or condemned to hell in the sermon will not likely support the pastor.

    • To clarify “talk to,” I mean asking them what is happening in their world away from the older members of the congregation and their parents. Teach a bible study for them on a high level and be prepared for discussion, debate, and unorthodox opinions. Have dinner with them and listen to what they say. Answer their questions with real, genuine answers.

  4. Pingback: The Top 10 Leadership Posts I Read The Week Of October 12th | Brian Dodd on Leadership

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