Jerry Dewitt says he is the most disliked person in DeRidder, Louisiana.

All he did was to renounce his Christian faith–he’d been pastor of the First Community Church there–and become an apostle for atheism. That’s all.

This story is some years old now, and I dug it out of my files.  But here’s the gist of it…

The New Orleans newspaper carried the story. Jerry Dewitt was a Pentecostal preacher, he says. After struggling with his doubts for years, he went public with his unbelief and had now been unemployed for several months.

He described his journey to unfaith as “lonely and stressful.” For years, he said, he kept a phony public identity, preaching doctrines he no longer believed, practicing a faith that did not work for him.

The three doctrines he could not get past–

–One. He had trouble with hell. How could a loving God create such a place in His universe?

–Two. He doubted the authenticity of the gifts of the Spirit, which is a major emphasis in the Pentecostal churches.

–Three. He doubted the authority of the Scriptures.

The article says Dewitt is now out of the pulpit and public about his non-belief. He has begun to do a little speaking, telling his reverse-conversion story around the country before local humanist groups. More than that, he is the unpaid executive director of Recovering from Religion and works with the Clergy Project, a website that invites and privately counsels doubting pastors behind a password-protected firewall.

Promoting atheism is his new ministry. He calls himself a pastor still, in his role of counseling people struggling with faith issues.

These days, he said, he’s trying to “reinvent himself as a speaker on the atheist and humanists circuit, hoping to earn enough money to make a modest living.”

Any minister who reads this will have a host of reactions, and no doubt several questions. Here are my thoughts–

1) Sadness. I hate that this happens. Dewitt said there are other ex-ministers in his organization.

2) Understanding. Most of us have all wrestled with these same issues concerning heaven and hell, spiritual gifts, whether God answers prayer, His purpose in suffering, and the inspiration of Scriptures. None are simple; we are not asked to “live by faith” for no reason. It takes great faith to believe in and serve God.

3) Longing. That man needed a friend, someone to talk over these matters.  Apparently, he kept it to himself until the dam burst and he could not keep it in any longer.

4) Greater sadness. Dewitt was about to lose his home because he can’t meet the mortgage payments, and he said his marriage was in trouble.  Dewitt may have gone through the same struggles the rest of us did, but came out on the wrong side. That road is the way of despair, believe me.

5) No judgmentalism. I hope he is not “disliked” in DeRidder, a heavily evangelical section of southwest Louisiana. We Christians are to love everyone, even our enemies (see Luke 6:27ff).

6) Admiration. I appreciate his honesty in leaving the pulpit.  At least Dewitt had the integrity to admit his nonbelief and to walk away from the pastorate.

I have several questions for anyone struggling with these issues and considering renouncing his faith in Christ.

1) Did you talk to anyone?

Are you trying to bear this burden alone? Doubt can be egotistical. When you start doubting the Word of God, it feels like you are raising questions no one has ever asked before.

They have.

You need to sit down with a mature and godly (and usually older) brother or sister in Christ and lay it all out. Don’t be surprised if their first reaction is to laugh, “You too? Man, I’ve been there!” Then, don’t be surprised if their next word to you is something like, “But I have good news for you. This is all part of the maturing process and there is light at the end of this tunnel.”

Someone who heard me talking about this asked, “Where does one find such a person to confide in?” Great question. In the case of Billy Graham, who went through just such a crisis himself, three mentors helped to pull him through: Stephen Olford, J. Edwin Orr, and Henrietta Mears. Those names will be familiar to most of our longtime readers. Also, Graham’s mother, Morrow Graham, was a giant in the faith who prayed for her son daily and encouraged him.

Where to find such a mentor? Ask the Lord. Then, pay attention. It might be someone you least expect.

2) Is it possible you were mistaken in your understanding of the Christian faith and needed to grow?

Sometimes what we are renouncing is not Christianity or Bible doctrine but our faulty understanding of it.

I’m not anti-Pentecostalism, but I know that many in that branch of the Christian faith put more emphasis on experience than knowing God’s Word and some have faulty (i.e., unbiblical) concepts of spiritual gifts as well as divine healings, prosperity, etc. To discover that your conviction in one of these areas is wrong does not mean God has failed you. It might mean you are about to grow.

3) Do you simply write off legendary believers such as C. S. Lewis, Billy Graham, Jim Elliot, and Corrie ten Boom?

The list of believers who struggled greatly in these matters and emerged as mighty forces for Christ is quite lengthy.

Does the doubter think these people were fools? Shallow? Misled by others? Deceived? or deceitful? Or does he simply ignore them?

The writings of any of these people–particularly Lewis and ten Boom–have been used of God to help generations of seekers get straight in many areas of faith and practice.

And that brings us to the next question.

4) What have you been reading?

The story of Billy Graham’s friendship with Charles Templeton, a young evangelist who was prominent at the time when Graham was just beginning, is well-known by now. Books and movies have been produced chronicling their relationship. At one point, Templeton was going through a major crisis of unbelief, even while continuing to preach. He shared those doubts with Billy Graham. It turned out Graham had some of the same questions. In time, Templeton renounced the Christian faith and lived the rest of his life as an atheist whereas Dr. Graham served God as few ever have.

Billy, by William Paul McKay and Ken Abraham, tells how these two young preachers faced this crisis. Templeton filled his days with reading. One day, a pastor introduced him to such books as Thomas Paine’s The Age of Reason, Voltaire’s The Bible Explained At Last, Bertrand Russell’s Why I Am Not a Christian, and the written speeches of the 19th century atheist Robert Ingersoll. Each is an attack on the Christian faith.

Without a theological education, Charles Templeton had no intellectual resources to combat the fiery darts hurled his way by the enemy. In the absence of mature (and older) Christian friends with whom to consult, he bore the burden of this doubt alone in silence. (Even though he talked to Billy Graham about it, Billy was younger than he and not able to counter his doubts.)

Mitch Williams called himself an atheist.  Yet he came to the church I pastored. One night in his living room, he explained that a high school science teacher had given students books attacking the Christian faith. As a result, Mitch became a convert to atheism and lived a dozen years in that unbelief. Only when he began reading the Scriptures every day and seriously thinking about them did God penetrate his unbelief and capture his heart.

Josh McDowell’s books on Evidence That Demands a Verdict (he wrote several variations) and Lee Strobel’s The Case For books (a series) contain material every doubter needs to study and every confirmed believer appreciates..

Give the Lord a chance to use some outstanding Christian thinkers to combat the junk you are being fed by the enemy.

5) Do you have a prayer partner (or two or three)?

Pastors need prayer more than anyone in the church since everything they do affects the life of the congregation. The pastor who does not have a few choice praying friends–often in other churches, so they are not directly involved in the goings-on, and he can speak freely with them–is limiting himself severely.

6) Are you willing to walk by faith? To leave some matters with the Lord and go forward without the answers? Or do you require that the Christian faith be simple and easy?

Ultimately, Billy Graham had to decide one way or the other what he believed about these issues which were destroying his friend’s soul and ministry. The authors of Billy write: When it came to believing that the Bible was completely true, that it was the divinely inspired Word of God, Charles’ (Templeton) questions were softballs compared to the curves Billy threw at himself. Could he accept all of the Bible as the Word of God and preach it with honesty, authority, and conviction if there were portions of the Scriptures that presented him with intellectual difficulties, dichotomies that he did not have the knowledge or wisdom to resolve?

Eventually, young Graham arrived at a conclusion, one vastly different from the one Charles Templeton had settled on. As far as Billy was concerned, if Jesus believed the Bible, quoted it, and attested to its veracity, why couldn’t he?

It came down to faith. Billy Graham chose to believe.

7) Have you considered the testimony of Psalm 73?

The psalmist (Asaph? Surely not King David) had some of the same spiritual questions as the rest of us: Why do the wicked prosper and the righteous have things so hard? The wicked take advantage of the people around them, have no guilt over it, ignore God, and live long lives of success and prosperity. They drive their big cars, live in mansions, and send their children to the finest schools. If they have a medical problem, they have the money to take care of it.

Meanwhile, God’s children–followers of Jesus Christ who are struggling to tithe their income to the Lord, who prize honesty and integrity, who study the Word and spread the gospel and lead their families–often seem to have more than their share of illnesses and setbacks.

The wicked taunt us, they mock our faith, they scoff at our efforts to evangelize. They make jokes about our churches, ridicule our convictions when we take them into the public arena, and write us off as ignorant holy-rollers. Take a public stand for righteousness and you will be vilified as a fundamentalist and a threat to the public safety.

It feels awful. In fact, sometimes (the Psalmist says), I wonder if it’s all worth it. (Psalm 73:13)

As I reflected along these lines, I came close to sharing my doubts with the congregation. I’m so glad I didn’t. In doing so, I would have betrayed this whole generation of believers. (73:15)

Even so, I still could not see how God could let this happen.

Until, I went down to the House of God to worship. (73:17) That did it.

Then I perceived their end. Surely Thou dost set them in slippery places; Thou dost cast them down to destruction (73:17-18).

What I saw there changed everything, he says. When the wicked die, their troubles have just begun. Don’t envy unbelievers. They may seem to do very well without God, but we’re only looking at the front end of the picture. When you see the whole story, you will be glad you stayed true to the Lord. (You see we are adapting Psalm 73, bringing it into our situation.)

Pastors have told me that Psalm 73 sustained them through troublesome times when they skirted close to the edge in doubting the Lord.

8) Why did you start preaching in the first place?

I’ve heard preachers say, “I have doubted my salvation, but never my call.” I suspect that was because their salvation experience happened early in life, whereas the call to ministry came in adulthood and thus was clearer, stronger, fresher.

If a man knows beyond doubt that God called him into the ministry–as I write, I’m remembering the Tuesday night in April, 1961, when the Lord fingered me with the words, “I want you in the ministry”–that in itself could well sustain him in moments of doubt. He will not easily be able to shake the awareness that the living God intervened in his life, called him by name, and gave him a mission. Paul said, Therefore, since we have received this ministry, as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart (and quit) (II Corinthians 4:1).

If we enter the ministry for any lesser reason–ambition, personal fulfillment, it’s a good way to help people, money, ego, or to please our parents–we’re in trouble from the first.

9) What will you do if you find out you are wrong now? After all, it takes a great deal of faith to be an atheist.

That’s actually the title of a thought-provoking book I recommend: I Don’t Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist! Norman Geisler and others are the authors. They make a great point. To be an atheist–one who “knows” there is no God–would require one to ignore voluminous evidence for His existence–the order in the universe, for instance. German rocket scientist Werner Von Braun used to say that alone convinced him of the existence of God.  The brilliant scientists who have gone public with their faith in God and in Jesus Christ is amazing.

For every person you find with a testimony on how atheism put a purpose and joy in his life, I can show you a hundred who say the opposite: Their unbelief was destroying them, but Jesus Christ made them whole, cleansed their souls, and gave them a new, exciting, purposeful life. It’s not called conversion for nothing.

I cannot read Psalm 40:1-3 without putting it in the context of a follower of Jesus Christ praising the Lord for saving him: I waited patiently for the Lord and He heard my cry; He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay; and He set my feet upon a solid rock, making my footsteps firm. And He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and will trust in the Lord.

A postscript….

One of my friends in the DeRidder, Louisiana area who knew Mr. Dewitt casually said to me that his denomination (the Apostolic Pentecostal community) does not believe in formal theological education. They see it as a subversive threat and the quickest way to liberalism. They think raw scriptures read by a believer in isolation will always prove to be a reliable guide.

He is confident that Dewitt had never been part of a group that had wrestled with doubts about hell, spiritual gifts, and the Bible like this. And because he had so totally isolated himself, when the doubts arrived in force, all he knew to do was to struggle with them the best he could until he finally caved in to them. Sad, sad, sad.