Why is it so hard for some pastors to turn loose?

Pastor, God called you into this work, did He? Then, do yourself a favor by keeping your eyes on Him. If you begin to fixate on the congregation for your identity and your purpose in life–if pastoring that church is your life–nothing good is going to come of it.

Sooner or later, you are going to have to walk away from the church you are presently serving. You may retire, be called to another church, get fired, or transition into another kind of ministry (denominational service, etc.).  In any case, you will be required to relinquish every aspect of that ministry: to move out of the office and take your name off the door, as well as give up every phase of leadership, every perk and benefit, and anything else that comes with your pastoral position.

It would be nice if you could go quietly.

Later today, some of us are meeting with a pastor–for the second time–to help his church find a resolution to a frustrating situation with a disarmingly simple remedy.  All the turmoil inside the congregation would disappear in a heartbeat if the pastor would recognize that, now that he is in his mid-seventies, he needs to retire.  The congregation wants him to–even those who love him–and he needs to do so.

Turning loose and walking away. Giving the church back to Jesus.

Why is that so hard for some preachers, particularly when they have served well for so long?

It’s an unusual shepherd who knows when the time comes to turn over the flock to the incoming herdsman and take his well-earned rest, or move on to the next assignment.

Some years ago, a well-respected pastor of my acquaintance, a brother who had served long and well in a prominent church, announced his retirement in a most unusual manner. He informed the congregation, “I will become the pastor emeritus of this church. The church will continue to provide me an office and will continue sending out my sermon tapes to everyone on my mailing list (at the time, he was giving away something like 300,000 tapes a year. The cost must have been enormous. I was on his list.), and each year, on the anniversary of my retirement, I will return to the pulpit to preach a message.”

He actually said that. I read it in his church bulletin, and was stunned. There was no indication that the leadership was consulted before this edict was issue or that the wishes of the congregation mattered to the man.

He would retire, but not go away.

At the time, I read that and thought, “God bless the next pastor. He will be this guy’s assistant for as long as the old guy lives.”

The upshot of that situation is: a) It took over two years for the search committee to find a new pastor; b) I came within a hair’s breadth of being that guy! c) the new pastor came in and was immediately set upon by the old one; things got ugly quickly; and d) the Lord decided to bring the older man home soon afterwards. That is to say, he died.

The question again: Why do pastors insist on holding on long after their usefulness has expired, long after their energy has been depleted, long after anyone wants them to stay?

Here are some answers that occur to me. You will think of others….

1) They find their identity in that pastorate. Without it, who are they?

This is sad, sad, sad. You would like to ask them, “So, who were you before you came to this church? Can you pick up that identity again?”

As a 21-year-old, I received the Lord’s call into “the ministry.” Not into “the pastorate” and not “to preach.”  “Ministry” could mean anything and sometimes did. I pastored for 42 years, but also logged 3 years on a church staff, and then 5 years as a denominational worker in metro New Orleans. (And, for the record, I had not the slightest difficulty turning loose of the previous job in order to take hold of the newer one.)

2) They live in fear–of being without a flock, of having to find a new daily schedule, of financial hardship, of facing themselves.

Let’s say it again: Sad, sad, sad.

As I was approaching retirement (I retired at age 69), my primary concern was with the financial aspect. I looked forward to traveling, preaching for other churches, having time to do other things, etc. But with the uncertainty of the economy, I wondered how our family finances would go. One day, the Lord spoke to me: “I am your portion.”  That assurance came with such clarity and comfort that I began searching out all the places this statement is found in Scripture. Almost four years into retirement, I can say He has been so faithful, far more than I ever expected or asked for.

3) They have no hobbies or other interests.

Every pastor needs something to do when he grows weary in shepherding the people. Golf, reading, writing, woodworking, travel, the list could be endless.

4) They mistakenly believe the church cannot go on without them.

The clinging preachers would deny this, but their actions say otherwise. This feeling of indispensability prevents some pastors from taking significant vacations with their families. They cannot stand the thought of leaving the pulpit without their presence for two or three Sundays straight. (For the record, three times in a half-century ministry did I take vacations of three weeks. They were wonderful in every way. To my surprise and delight, the church did well in my absence.)

An old song out of the 1950s comes to mind here: “Got along without you before I met you; gonna get along without you now.” Say that to yourself about that church, pastor, because I guarantee you some in the church are saying it about you.

5) They cannot afford to retire.

The temptation here is to say, “You should have thought of that a long time ago,” and it’s true of course. But there is something to be said of greater help than this.

There are smaller churches that would love to have you as their pastor. They can pay you a living wage, will require a lot less of you than the present church does, and might even give your outlook a new power surge.  That smaller church feels fortunate to have a new pastor with the wealth of experience you bring. You can make an incredible difference in that church, even if you stay for only a few years.

Your state denominational office will have someone who can put you in touch with older pastors who have done exactly this, have transitioned into smaller, less demanding pastorates and have taken on new life in their ministry.  Furthermore, the contact person might even know of such churches interested in you as a pastor.

If your ego cannot handle going from being (ahem) the Senior Pastor of Bigtown Church to the “preacher” of Little Shiloh Number Two, then you will have to take that up with the Lord who called you into this work in the first place.

Which is what you and I both ought to be doing every day of our lives. When we do, it’s amazing how the ego tends to dry up and disappear.

 

2 thoughts on “Why is it so hard for some pastors to turn loose?

  1. Good words Joe – I have transitioned into a smaller pastorate -I did have some “ego” thoughts and wrestled if this is what the Lord had for me but then He confirmed His call and how not only could I assist this smaller church but they would help me as well. The less demanding is a blessing and joy.

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