“Be not forgetful to entertain strangers….” (Hebrews 13:2)

Recently some fellow wrote to advice columnist Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, describing a strange situation….

“My wife and I received three unusual invitations.  In the first, we were invited to a cocktail get-together (not a formal party) where I was told that since I do not drink alcohol, I should bring something for myself to drink.”

“The second was from a friend who insisted that he and his wife wanted to get together for dinner, but he did not want to have it at his house or at a restaurant.  He went on to say he did not care if our house was not in order for a dinner party (construction is going on), but that it would be the best place for us to get together.”

“The third was from a man I have done outdoor activities with who invited me to lunch, told me he would stop by my house, and we could make something for lunch there.”

Gotta love it.

According to Miss Manners, such rudeness mocks the whole idea of hospitality. The couple should reply to these requests with, “I’m afraid that won’t be convenient,” and nothing more.

She has never heard of such before, the columnist says, and hopes she won’t ever again.

Ah, but we in the church get that all the time.

Visitors (some, not all, thankfully!) come to church expecting to be treated royally, often with a list of what they require from churches lucky enough to have them in their midst.  And if those conditions aren’t met, they bad-mouth you to their friends.

These guests have specific ideas of what they will be expecting and can be harsh and judgemental toward churches failing to meet their standards.

Compounding the problem is that no two visitors agree on just what would be the best thing for the host church to do in welcoming guests.  Some want to be left alone in order to decide for themselves when and if they wish to go deeper into this church. Others expect to be smothered with attention, loaded with gifts, and given the five dollar tour along with invitations to restaurants that day and visits in their homes that week.

Many churches, not all, feel duty-bound to play this little game and may go out of their way to find out what visitors want (through polls and studies), what they would respond to most, and what would leave them with great feelings afterwards so they will return.

Other churches despair of ever finding the combination for satisfying the demands of visitors and end up doing nothing, even resenting the idea that they should do something.

Show me any part of this charade in Scripture, please.

Now, the concept of hospitality is found throughout the Bible and we’re all for that.

–“Be hospitable to one another without complaint” (I Peter 4:9).  A pastor is to be hospitable (I Timothy 3:2). Among the loving traits of faithful congregations is “contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality” (Romans 12:13).

–The church dictator Diotrephes is slammed in the little epistle of III John for shutting down his church’s hospitality altogether. In those days, traveling missionaries and others needed God’s people to welcome them into their homes for a meal and a place to spread their bedroll.  The church boss has forbidden this.

–Hebrews 13:2 speaks to this matter: “Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by this some have entertained angels without knowing it.” That phrase–entertaining angels–may refer to Abraham’s hospitality to three men traveling through who turned out to be Heavenly messengers with delightful news for Abraham and Sarah and terrible news for Sodom and Gomorrah (Genesis 18).

–My favorite Old Testament passage about hospitality is Leviticus 19, a chapter loaded with various and sundry commands, some wonderfully compassionate and some rather harsh.  Consider these instructions for the Lord’s people…

v.9-10 “When you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very corners of your field, neither shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest. Nor shall you glean your vineyard, nor shall you gather the fallen fruit of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the needy and the stranger. I am the Lord your God.”

v.13 “You shall not oppress your neighbor nor rob him. The wages of a hired man are not to remain with you all night until morning.”

v.15 “You shall do no injustice in judgment; you shall not be partial to the poor nor defer to the great, but you are to judge your neighbor fairly.”

v.33-34 “When  a stranger resides with you in your land, you shall do him no wrong. The stranger who resides with you shall be to you as a native among you; and you shall love him as yourself; for you were aliens in the land of Egypt. I am the Lord your God.”

It was from this chapter our Lord plucked and elevated to great status “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself,” verse 18.  Clearly, Jesus knew and loved this chapter also.

We’re all for hospitality. But not for going crazy with it.

We are not for letting visitors dictate as to how they will be treated or welcomed.  Church leaders should prayerfully talk this thing out, remember how they were treated and wish they had been treated when they were the newcomers, and get this right, then stay with it.

If visitors walk away criticizing your church because you did not wine them and dine them, so be it. You don’t necessarily want to encourage everyone who walks through your door to join your church.  Let the Lord be the Gatekeeper, the One who decides.

Whatever you do as a  church, do not turn a blind eye (or deaf ear?) to outsiders and newcomers.  Have greeters–members with the sweetest smiles and warmest handshakes–in place outside the doors on Sunday mornings. You may wish to have a welcome center with helpful material, the coffee urn, and friendly church members in place. (Make sure the center is clearly marked so newcomers will find it easily.)

When we stand before the Lord Jesus at Judgement, one question we will face is how we treated the strangers and visitors.  While that may seem a little odd to some of us, the Lord left no question about it:

“I was a stranger and you took me in.” (Matthew 25:35,43)

Oh my. Lord, help me (and my church) to get this right!