“But as for you, keep a clear head about everything, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfil your ministry” (2 Timothy 4:5).
The deacons in Church A promised the new pastor that if he would come, they would deal with a difficult situation they had been condoning and which was destroying the witness of the church.
A man and woman in leadership positions were co-habiting as husband and wife, though unmarried. The deacons agreed that it was unscriptural and could not be condoned and that they would address it.
Six months later, the pastor resigned.
He was informed that the deacon leadership had no intention of acting. “We’re cowards,” the chairman said.
That’s when the pastor tried to deal with it himself.
Would anyone be surprised if I told you the matter blew up in his face?
When he gently suggested to the couple that living together outside of marriage was unscriptural, the woman grew hostile and after reading him the riot act, began stirring up things in the church. The more timid members of the small church rushed to her defense. That poor unfortunate woman was being bullied by the pastor! Soon the entire congregation was in turmoil.
That’s when the pastor decided to walk. The congregation preferred to disobey God rather than stand up to a bully.
I wish we could say this is an isolated case. It is not.
Then, there is Church B.
Church B has a strange situation. The daughter of a well-loved family in leadership is living in a lesbian relationship. Yet, her father, prominent in that small church, has been allowing her to take leadership (and ownership) of some of the children’s programs.
The young pastor, still new in that congregation, recognizing that this is a land mine capable of exploding and injuring a lot of innocent people, tried to deal with this matter in a firm, but loving and Christlike manner. Unable to get the woman or her parents to work with him, as a last resort, he asked the church leaders to become involved and take action.
That’s when it blew up. Hit the fan, as we say.
In this case, some leaders were willing to stand with the pastor while others valued that family’s acceptance more than obedience to Christ.
The congregation is now divided and spiritual fellowship is non-existent. The future of that church is on hold for the moment.
What is a pastor to do?
In both cases, some leaders of the church are wimping out, caving in to pressure, and putting acceptance from strong personalities and a false peace ahead of obedience to Christ.
“Go along to get along.” “Let’s not rock the boat, pastor.” “Every church endures these things occasionally.” “What’s the hurry, preacher?” “These things have a way of working themselves out.”
When one chooses to disobey the Lord, he can find a thousand justifications.
In Church A, the pastor did the right thing by resigning. My opinion, for the little it’s worth, is that the Lord may well have written Ichabod (“The glory is departed”–see I Samuel 4:21) over that congregation. Someone needs to start a new church in that town because this one has lost its franchise.
It took real strength for the pastor to resign and leave. A weaker pastor would have stayed for the sake of the (ahem) good people who need pastoring (not to say, for his income). We answer that the good people, if indeed there are any in that church, need something far stronger: They need to see tough love demonstrated as opposed to the wimpy, weak approval of anything and everything in the name of Jesus.
In Church B, where the majority of the leadership wants to do the right thing, the pastor needs to stay in place and be strong.
I hope he will not grow tired of fighting this battle and leave. The church needs him to be strong.
Here’s what “being strong” means for a pastor of an embattled congregation….
1) The strong pastor will demonstrate Christ’s strong love to every member of the church, whether they agree with him or not.
2) This means the strong pastor will deal with some people as Jesus said to do with one’s enemies. (Luke 6:27-35) According to this text, enemies hate us, curse us, threaten us, and try to do us harm. Anyone doing that qualifies. Loving them (as taught in this passage) means to do good to them, bless them (speak good), pray for them (asking for God to do His will), and to give to them (the occasional gift of flowers, a cake, a note in the mail, but something!).
3) A strong pastor of an embattled congregation must accept that some of his people will act like spoiled brats and not like Jesus, and some will even hate him. If he has ministered under the illusion that everyone in the church is saved and that every church must be Christlike at all times, he will not last long. Even churches in New Testament times went through these horrible experiences. Pastors should expect them, and jettison their unrealistic expectation to be universally loved.
4) The strong pastor will minister to everyone, whether they are “on his side” or not. He will be respectful and gracious in the full expectation that doing so enables the Lord to either “pour coals of fire on their heads” or bring them to repentance. Either way is the Lord’s business. His job is to be a Christlike servant at all times.
One of the hardest things a pastor will ever do is to swallow his pride and call on the family that is trying to oust him because they have serious illness or a death. He is their shepherd. Whether they choose to respect that and receive his ministry is up to them. But he must try. (Write this in big letters, ministers of the Lord: If you do not go to them, your neglect will fuel the opposition. So, you minister to the enemies as a testimony to them and an example to your supporters.)
5) The strong pastor will not take the next great offer from a search committee and leave this embattled congregation. He will remain in place until this becomes a healthy congregation.
6) The strong pastor will aim either to outlive or win over the troublemakers and the timid leadership unwilling to stand up to them..
The church which changes pastors every 3 or 4 years will never be healthy and will forever be at the mercy of the lay leaders with the strongest personalities.
7) The strong pastor will find a circle of friends (usually from his home church, his seminary, or previous churches he has served) to lift him in prayer and to provide counsel from time to time.
The pastor who tries to do this by himself (“just Jesus and me”) is making things hard on himself and his family unnecessarily. So much help is available for embattled pastors who are going through tough times. Ask around. It’s there.
God bless you, pastor. Be faithful. (See Revelation 2:10 and grasp it tightly.)