I’ve been thinking on the nearness of the Lord.  Those special times when His presence was a living reality.  You felt you could almost reach out and touch Him.

This month’s issue of DECISION magazine, the evangelical publication from the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, has the story of Missionary John Paton until the title Alone in the Tanna tree: John Paton’s faith in the darkest hour.  Taken from his memoir, it’s about the time in the New Hebrides islands when a cannibal tribe was after him.  The chief was his friend, but a war chief was leading the search for Paton.

The chief had his son lead Missionary Paton to a large chestnut tree.  He was instructed to remain in the tree until nighttime.  Paton wrote: The hours I spent there live all before me as if it were but of yesterday.  I heard the frequent discharging of muskets, and the yells of the savages.  Yet I sat there among the branches, as safe in the arms of Jesus!

Never in all my sorrows did my Lord draw nearer to me, and speak more soothingly in my soul, than when the moonlight flickered among those chestnut leaves, and the night air played on my throbbing brow, as I told all my heart to Jesus.  Alone, yet not alone! If it be to glorify my God, I will not grudge to spend many nights alone in such a tree, to feel again my Savior’s spiritual presence, to enjoy His consoling fellowship.

As I reflected on Mr. Paton’s experience, I thought of two things.

One. The scriptures where our Lord promised this very thing.  

—When you pass through the waters, I will be with you… (Isaiah 43:2)

—Be strong and courageous; do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6). And then, two verses later:  The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you.

–And this in our Lord’s great commission:  And lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the world. (Matthew 28:20).

Two. My own time of being in the chestnut tree…

Well, okay, it wasn’t like Mr. Paton’s evening of hiding from the cannibal warriors.  But I was indeed “up a tree.”

It was late Spring of 1989 and I was the embattled pastor of a church in downtown Charlotte, North Carolina.  I’d been there three years and finally everything was coming together, I thought.  The two pastors prior to me told me they had fought for their ministry again and again.  The pastor who was there from 1959 to 1980 said to me, “Twenty of the most miserable years of my life were spent in that church.”  He explained that “a little group was organized against me and they fought me on every side.”

I learned that before I moved into the pastorium in the summer of 1986, they had begun plans to get me out of the church.  Since we did not know one another, I had no need to take this personally.  It was not against me as such, although it felt like it was.

That Monday night, we had had a great monthly deacons’ meeting.  The church was prospering.  We were having a great year of baptisms and the church was running 15 percent ahead of the budget.  Everything was looking up.

Until it wasn’t.

At the end of the deacons meeting, someone moved that the deacons go into executive session which would have excluded the pastor and staff from the session to follow.  When I insisted that as the pastor of the church, I intended to remain, “unless you actually vote to exclude me.”  Someone moved that they do, they took a vote, and did not have enough votes to ask me to leave.

So, I had the privilege of sitting there for four hours listening to the deacons discussing me, pro and con.  I said nothing.

A few attacked me.  Several made up complete falsehoods about me.  And they called for me to be fired.  For no good reason.  The statement uttered again and again was, “there is an angst in the church.”  (What is an angst?  My answer is an unsettled feeling, an anxiety, a lack of peace.  The textbook answer is: A generalized feeling of deep anxiety, dread or general unease.)

(The answer to this is: How about having a small group of leaders who are always fighting against the pastor, no matter how well the church is doing? Wouldn’t that cause an angst? )

But in the midst of this marathon attack–and I almost tear up at the memory–the Lord was there.  He was so near, it was incredible.

I had never known His presence that real in my life.

At some point I thought of Stephen being stoned by his accusers.  Being full of the Holy Spirit, he (Stephen) gazed intently into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God, and he said, ‘Behold, I see the heavens opened up and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.’ But they cried out with a loud voice and covered their ears and rushed upon him…  (Acts 7:55-57)

God’s peace was truly amazing.

Honestly, had someone said later they had seen a halo or a bright light all around me, I would not have been surprised.  (I say this with a smile, remembering all those years ago.  Let’s see….that was 1989 and this is 2026.  Thirty-seven years ago.  I remember it like it was last night.)

Sometimes on social media we will come upon a discussion on how we can know God exists.  Various arguments and proofs are given.  I read them and sometimes enter the give-and-take, but all the while I’m thinking it’s not about arguments.  Scripture simply begins In the beginning, God…

I know God exists like I know I am standing here at the kitchen counter typing onto my laptop.  Somethings you just know.

Thank you, Father.