Christmas Curmudgeons

“I bring you good news of great joy!” (Luke 2:10)

I love almost everything about Christmas. I love the Nativity scenes, the displays of lights, the cool weather, the festive clothing, the songs (well, most of them), the carols, the special foods, the candies and pastries, the church services, the pageants, the gift-giving, and even the crowded malls. I love the high-flying decorations downtowns attach to street lamps, and the happy songs about snow-falling and sleigh-riding even though I live in the too-warm South, and I even enjoy stories about Santa Claus. I love the Christmas specials on television, including the cartoons about Peanuts and Frosty and Rudolph (not that I actually watch them; but I like knowing they’re there).

If you feel called to point out all that is wrong about this happiest of all seasons, you will probably want to find another audience, because I love Christmas.

However.

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A question no one in Heaven will ask

“These in white robes–who are they and where did they come from?… These are they who have come out of great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb” (Revelation 7:13-14).

“How did you get here?”

The fellow across the table from me was making polite conversation, I suppose. We were taking a break in a deacon-training event I was leading at a church in an Alabama town, nearly 300 miles from home.

“I drove,” I said, and thought, “How did he think I got here?  There is no airport within two hours.  The train comes nowhere near here.  Did he think I took the Greyhound? Or hitchhiked?”

Later, I decided he was asking the route by which I had traveled, there being four or five highways I could have taken.

“How did you get here?”

It occurs to me that when you and I get to Heaven, and begin meeting people right and left, finding out about their backgrounds and listening to their stories, no one will ask us this question. To ask how we got there would imply there are different ways to that place the Bible calls “The Father’s House.”

Let your mind dwell on that for a minute….

“I came by this religion.”  “I got here by being really good.”  “I imitated Jesus…or Mother Teresa…or my grandmother.”  “I fasted and prayed and flagellated myself.” “I lived in the desert on a diet of ants and bugs to bring my body under subjection.”  “I was sincere.” “My good works outweighed the bad.”

None of that foolishness.

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Assumptions we make…to our own regret

“How shall they call on Him of whom they have not heard?” (Romans 10)

During one of my first weeks in college, the upperclassmen were allowed to harass us and treat us like serfs.

That was a long time ago and I have no bad memories of the experience, so it must not have been too dangerous or humiliating.  What I do recall, however, is upperclassman Walter Maine ordering me to mop his floor.

The floors in our dormitory rooms were some kind of hard linoleum, as I remember.  These days, I could clean his floor with scarcely a thought, seeing as how I have done our kitchen floor a few hundred times.  You assemble the equipment, fill the bucket half-ful of warm water, add a little Mr.Clean, dip the mop in, squeeze it out good, and run the damp mop over the floor. Every 30 seconds or so, you return to the bucket, slosh the mop around inside, squeeze it out, mop more of the floor, and continue the process until the floor is clean. Then, toss out the water, rinse the mop with clean water, and rinse out the bucket, then store them.

Simple enough.

But not for this 18-year-old farm boy in the fall of 1958.

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When church committees begin to jump the track

“Then the chief priests and the Pharisees formed a council and said, ‘What do we do? For this man does many miracles. If we let him alone, all will believe on him” (John 11:47-48).

After watching the Lord Jesus raise Lazarus from the dead, the religious leaders were faced with a choice. They could either do what the common folk were doing and worship Jesus, or not.  My friend Josh Carter, pastor in Memphis, points out what they actually did: they formed a committee.

By creating a committee, we hand off the assignment–the decision on what to do and how to do it–to a group of “others.”

Sometimes that works out.  Often it doesn’t.

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A rhapsody on a theme of grace and mercy

Mercy is God NOT giving us what we deserve. Grace is God GIVING us what we do not deserve.

Like that? It’s the truth, but it’s not the whole story.

Think of mercy as the restraint of God, His holding back on the judgment we have coming.

Think of grace as the generosity of God, HIs pouring out His blessings on the undeserving.

After God gives us mercy (forgiving us), we are still in need of grace (transforming us).  Mercy is the judge not sending the defendant to prison but suspending all charges and setting him free. Grace is the judge then recommending him for a training program and inviting him to his church where he will share a pew with a banker and his family.

God is a God of grace and mercy.

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The special diet young believers need

“After they had preached the gospel in that city and had made many disciples, they returned to Lystra and to Iconium and to Antioch, strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying, ‘Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.’ (Acts 14:21-22).”

People who sell pet food say the young animals need a richer diet, one loaded with protein and certain vitamins.  Obstetricians make a similar observation about human babies.

It’s true of babies in Christ also. They need nurturing, tender instruction, and careful preparation for all that is ahead in this new life they have chosen and for which they were chosen.

At the apogee of what we refer to as their first missionary journey,* Paul and Barnabas decided that instead of blazing new trails into pioneer territory with the gospel of Jesus, they should retrace their steps and do followup with the people they had already led to the Lord. So, they turned around and went back, right into the towns and cities where they had been “tarred and feathered,” so to speak, and warned never to return.

In this case, however, they were no longer standing in public squares proclaiming the gospel to the disinterested and hostile, but meeting quietly with bands of believers to assist them in their spiritual growth and in becoming effective churches.

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Free Information: Random observations from the old folks’ home

At the end of this piece, I want to point out how Sandra Bullock’s character learned to pray in the new movie “Gravity.” If you’ve not seen it and think this might interfere with your enjoyment, be forewarned and skip it. Or come back later.

One of the fun things about having online pastors’ magazines reproduce our stuff is reading the comments from God’s people far and wide.  I did that just now with an article lifted from this blog recently and sent to perhaps 50,000 subscribers far and wide.

I have no trouble when people take issue with some point we tried to make.  What’s fun is when one reader rips me apart and another one responds to straighten him out.  One said I need to stick to cartooning and leave preacher stuff alone. Ouch.

Sometimes readers take seriously something I said tongue-in-cheek and go off on a rant about it. One said today, “I had a hard time listening to anything more he had to say because I couldn’t get past those introductory statements.”  I had said no preacher should preach longer than 45 minutes.  He started listing preachers, most of them famous, who preach an hour or more and do it well.  I replied that  I had meant it half-seriously and had even said (in the article) that it was just my thought and I might be wrong.

He just wanted to fight. I pity his wife today. Or his church staff, if he’s a preacher.

Incidentally, I’ve heard sermons from some of those guys he mentioned and even though they may preach an hour, after 25 or 30 minutes, they are through. They just don’t know it.

A pastor will pad his sermon?  Of course.

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Conservative or Liberal–meaningless terms by themselves.

In Matthew 22, the Lord Jesus lambasted the liberals of His day, the  Sadducees.  One chapter later, he let the conservatives–the Pharisees–have it good (Matthew 23).  In between, He wedged in a teaching to make the point that “Jesus is Lord” (22:41-45).

Neither the liberals nor the conservatives impressed Him much.

When I was a kid–Harry Truman was president–“liberal” was an honorable term, and Truman and others gladly owned it. These days, at least in my neighborhood, it’s a putdown, something you’d not want to be caught dead being.

Likewise, almost everyone I know–that is, in my circle–claims to hold membership in that most august of clubs, The Conservatives.  Never mind that most never define it and I suspect some have no clue what they mean.  But it’s the term held in high esteem among Southern Baptists (my group).

A little sane thinking about these words is in order, if I may be permitted.

Our family has a story which illustrates an important point about the two groups….

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What I wonder about Jesus’ times

“And walking by the Sea of Galilee…. And going on from there…. And Jesus was going about in all Galilee….” (Matthew 4:18,21,23).

They walked everywhere they went, the Lord and HIs disciples. In time, walkers know every nuance of a trail, every pothole in a road, every farmhouse and every place to stop for a drink of water.

I wish I could have walked with the Lord and the disciples. What must that have been like?

Often a crowd accompanied them. “And great multitudes followed Him from Galilee and Decapolis and Jerusalem and Judea and from beyond the Jordan” (Matthew 4:25).

Did they hang back or press in close? Did they talk the whole time or did a holy hush descend on the group?  Was someone in charge–or tried to be–and kept everyone in line? Did they stay with the Lord for days or just for hours? And if for a long time, how were they fed and where did they stay?

I wonder so many things about what that must have been like…

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Three huge mistakes church bullies make (and what to do about them)

Anyone interposing himself between the Lord Jesus and His church is asking for it.

Sometimes–as I keep getting reminded by readers–that would-be dictator is the pastor, a man sent by God to be the shepherd of the sheep but who has forgotten that he does not own the flock and cannot do with it as he pleases.

More likely, however, the man (it’s almost always a man) who takes it upon himself to run the church is a layperson with what he thinks are dynamic leadership skills.  My observation is that he is a bully in other ways and places too, particularly at home and in the office. (He usually owns his own company and thus calls the shots without interference from anyone.)

1) Bullies are wrong about themselves.

They don’t think of it as bullying: they’re just taking the leadership when no one else will. Filling the vacuum.

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