Category Archives: Church Leadership

Church bosses: A problem that has been with us from the beginning

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I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, does not receive us.  Therefore, if I come, I will call to mind his deeds which he does, prating against us with malicious words.  And not content with that, he himself does not receive the brethren, and forbids those who wish to do so, putting them out of the church.  III John 9-10.

In his book of 1,502 stories and illustrations (The Tale of the Tardy Oxcart), Chuck Swindoll has this:

A. T. Robertson, a fine, reliable Baptist scholar of years ago, taught for many years at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville.  When he began to write on books of the Bible, he chose on one occasion the Book of 3 John, which talks about Diotrephes.  Diotrephes was a man who became a self-appointed boss of a church. And over a period of time, he was the one that excommunicated certain people and he screened whatever was done in the church.  As the self-appointed leader, he wouldn’t even let John come to speak as a representative of Christ.  So, John wrote a letter and reproved him.

In writing about Diotrephes, A. T. Robertson said this: ‘Some forty years ago I wrote an article about Diotrephes for a denominational paper. The editor told me that twenty-five deacons stopped (taking) the paper to show their resentment against being personally attacked in the paper.’  

We can be thankful for this church boss of the first century.  Had we not known the early church had to deal with church tyrants masquerading as agents of Christ and brutalizing God’s people, we would have thought things had gone seriously downhill in our day.  But this cancer has been with us from the first. This, incidentally, is why we give thanks the church at Corinth, Greece, had so much trouble.  In First Corinthians, when Paul addresses these problems he establishes guidelines and sets up markers we’ve used ever since. Had the early Christians experienced no difficulties, we would have none of this.

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10 signs you are wanted in that church

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When I wrote about “how churches show you are not welcome,” among the comments it generated was one asking me to do the reverse: ‘Tell us how churches show you are welcome.” Great idea.

So, I posed that question to my FB friends, and the comments began flying in.

Oddly enough, however, all the comments on how a church shows it wants you boil down to the same thing.

They give you a warm, personal welcome.

Nothing else is more important than this in communicating to first-timers that they are welcome in this place and wanted to return.

But, it’s how a church communicates that welcome which tells the story. Not all agree, of course. Some who overdo the friendliness will smother newcomers, while others trying to respect their privacy will leave the impression they are unwanted. It’s impossible to get it right every time with every visitor.

That said, we will posit our list here and encourage pastors and other leaders to prayerfully select what works best for them. Keep in mind, unless we do these things in the power of the Spirit and for the glory of the Lord, none of this will work.

1. They make everything clear in print, in sermon, and in announcements. (I Corinthians 14:8)

Without overlooking the regulars or boring to death those who come all the time, church leaders will make certain that theological language is explained, that meeting places are clearly spelled out, and that people being identified are adequately named. There will be no coded messages in print or from the pulpit. All are welcome in this place and no theological degrees or official endorsement from the “in” group will be required before visitors are made to feel at home.

2. The signage is clear and just right.

In the last church I pastored, the worship center is oddly shaped. Doors open into the building from every side. However, only half of them are “correct;” the others open into obscure hallways. Only after a visitor called our attention to this–“I don’t know which is the main entrance”–did we letter “entrance” over several doors. One or two members chafed at the way it messed up the decor, but guests appreciated the help.

The church has several parking lots and a small drive-through which enables motorists to drop off guests under a covered portico. Once, we sent a team to Dauphin Way Baptist Church in Mobile, a church that had been recommended as having “gotten their signage right.” They came back, made appropriate recommendations, and we made the needed signs.

Longtime church members do not need signs. First-timers are grateful for them.

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To church staff members only

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“Only Luke is with me.  Pick up Mark and bring him with you, for he is useful to me for service” (2 Timothy 4:11).

From time to time, pastors invite me to spend an hour or two with their leadership team, primarily the church staff, at their weekly meeting.  In most cases, it’s informal and conversational and takes place around the office conference table with the coffee pot going and a rapidly diminishing plate of donuts before us.

Some thoughts I share with the team include the following…

One.  Nothing is more important than that you keep yourself close to the Lord.

He is your source. God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever (Psalm 73:26).

Jesus Christ is the Giver of everything that concerns you.  He called you into this work (after saving you!) and He sent you to this church.  If either of those is not the case, you would do well to get alone with Him for an hour and clear everything up, then do as His Spirit instructs.

Keeping yourself close to Jesus means exactly what you think it does:  daily quiet time with Him, with your Bible open and your heart in constant prayer, bringing every thought and act under His lordship.  We should begin and end the day in prayer, and offer up prayers throughout the day.  “Pray without ceasing” (I Thessalonians 5:17).  We should know God’s word and meditate upon it.  A church staffer should never say knowing the Word is the preacher’s job;  it’s every believer’s privilege and duty.

From time to time, your pastor is going to exasperate you; Jesus will give you patience and understanding.  Your income is not going to be sufficient; Jesus will hear your prayers and send what He wants you to have.  Your job conditions are going to change, and sometimes the assignment dearest to your heart and matching perfectly your spiritual gifts and talents will be taken from you;  Jesus will be your counselor, guide, and protector, or you will be in trouble.

The Holy Spirit will be your Human Resources Director.  He is your Lord.

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The day your church begins to die

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My preacher friend lives in a new home provided by the ministry he heads. “They had to tear down the old one,” he told me. “Mildew was everywhere and after years of trying to cure it, they gave up.”

A friend in that city told me the previous tenants–my friend’s predecessor and his family–were constantly sick for no reason anyone could find. Workers repainted the interior of the house every year.

“When they tore the house down, they found the culprit. There was a pipe underneath the house–not in any of the architect’s original drawings–that was constantly leaking water into the foundation.”

The minister said, “At one point, in an attempt to cure the problem, the ministry head had storm windows installed throughout the house. He was sealing the house, but it had the opposite effect of what he intended.”

“An architect told me, ‘That day the house began to die. With the windows sealed, it could no longer breathe.”

The day the house began to die.

An intriguing line.

Churches also begin to die when they can no longer breathe.

I’ve seen churches die, and I’ve seen them in the process of dying. The culprit–the killer, the perpetrator, the murderer–is suffocation. An inability to breathe.

1. Churches begin to suffocate when they no longer welcome change.

Change is life. Our bodies are always in the process of sloughing off old dead cells and replacing them with new ones.

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You need some resistance in your life

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“Where there’s no friction, there’s no traction!”  –Overheard from an elderly Baptist preacher in North Carolina 30 years ago

Tim Patterson, executive of Michigan Baptists, had a great insight about catfish and codfish–natural enemies–on Baptist Press.

In the northeastern part of our country, codfish is a big deal. However, shippers discovered that freezing the fish to ship destroyed the flavor.  So, they tried shipping them alive in tanks of seawater.  In addition to that being too expensive, for some reason the cod still lost their flavor and arrived soft and mushy.  Something had to be done.

Eventually, someone hit on a solution. After the codfish were placed in the seawater tanks, one more thing was added:  catfish.  Their natural enemies.

“From the time the cod left the East Coast until they arrived at their destinations, those ornery catfish chased the cod all over the tank…. When they arrived at the market, the cod were as fresh as the day they were caught.  There was no loss of flavor and the texture was possibly better than before.”

There’s a lesson there.

All sunshine makes a desert, the American Indians used to say.  We need the rain and the occasional storm.

My friend George Bullard wrote a book by the title Every Church Needs a Little Conflict.  He leads conferences by that title.  It’s a great truth, and the point of this little article.

What a “little conflict” will do for a church–or an individual believer–is worth our consideration:

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What to do when the pastor needs a time-out

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A friend was in a conference at her church in which various leaders were sitting around haggling over some issue. When one of the guys grew a little irritable, his wife said, “All right, Bobby. You’re in time out!”

The wife is a kindergarten teacher.

Pretty good idea, I think. Someone crosses the line and begins behaving badly, and we put them in time out. Maybe like hockey’s penalty box.

A pastor sent me a note, asking for my (ahem) famous instant assessment on his situation. He’s losing his passion for his ministry even though he knows he’s in the right place and there is nowhere he’d rather be. His sermon preparation is uninspired and much of the work of the ministry is drudgery to him.

I said, “This is a no-brainer. You are fatigued. You need rest.”

He did not argue, but started telling why his church was not going to allow him time away.

What would you think was the major reason the church will not grant him some quality time off? Answer: He’s bi-vocational.

What that means is that in addition to pastoring the church, he also holds down a full-time job in the secular world. So, to the congregation–this is him talking now–he’s part-time at the church. And what could possibly be stressful about a part-time job?

Faulty reasoning. Seriously faulty. His full-time employment carries a full quota of stress and pressure. As for the church job, there is no such thing as a part-time pastor. You are always the pastor and always on call. The work is never far from your mind. Your sermons are always incubating inside you, whether you’re having lunch at your desk or driving to the office. Church members rightfully feel if they need you, day or night, they can call.

Try telling them, “I’m not on duty right now. I’m part time.”

The fatigued pastor needs some time out.

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The most important person in your church office

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The receptionist–the one who greets the public–is in many ways your most important staffer.

She is the first person most people see when they walk in, the voice they talk with on the phone, and the only one a lot of outsiders will deal with from your church.

Pastor, she can make you or break you.

She can be a light to someone coming in from the dark, lift the spirits of a visitor who ran out of hope miles up the road, defrost the spirit of Jack Frost himself, and protect the beleaguered pastor who desperately needs an hour of study time without interruptions.

She can do all these things and more. But she can also run people off faster than Sunday’s tithing sermon or Wednesday night’s cold ham and peas.

Where does one find a receptionist sent from Heaven?

Answer: Heaven.

Ask God. He knows them all, has full resumes on each person on the planet, and runs the best placement service ever. Pray.

For some reason a long time ago, I began getting invited to speak to meetings of church administrative assistants, a catch-all phrase that encompasses secretaries, receptionists, bookkeepers, and practically anyone else on the office staff. I’ve been to Alabama’s Judson College more than once addressing that state’s church secretaries, done the same at Louisiana’s Tall Timbers Conference Center and Mississippi’s Garaywa Center. Best of all, for many years the National Association of Southern Baptist Secretaries (NASBS) invited me to attend (to address them, hold conferences, and sketch everyone) their bi-ennial gatherings, sometimes at one of our conference centers (Glorieta in New Mexico or Ridgecrest in North Carolina, at other times at Lifeway in Nashville and one year at the First Baptist Church of Dollywood. Oh, excuse me. Sevierville, Tennessee. (smiley face here!)

This is not to imply that I know a lot about their work, only that I spend a good deal of time with them and treasure the difference these ladies–they’re almost always women–make in the church’s ministry.

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How a small church can grow

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“It doesn’t matter to the Lord whether He saves by the few or by the many” (I Samuel 14:6).

Depending on a number of factors, growing a small church may well be  one of the more do-able things a pastor can achieve.

Those variable factors include…

–the health of the church.  You don’t want a sick church to grow; it needs to get well first!.  I once told my congregation, “There’s a good reason no one is joining this church.  I wouldn’t join it either!” I went on to explain that the Lord was not going tolet us grow until some people got their hearts right with Him.

Believe it or not, those words were inspired and the people received them well, and repented. This was followed by three years of dynamic fellowship and constant revival.

–the attitude of the congregation.  If the people are satisfied with the status quo, outsiders will not be made welcome, I’ve known Sunday School classes composed of a small cluster of best friends who felt imposed on by visitors and new members.  No one wants to go where they’re not wanted.

–and the location of the facility   A church situated five miles down an isolated road, at the end of the dead end trail, can almost certainly forget about growing.  Yes, it’s been done, but rarely.

—the will of the Father.  God may well have plans He has chosen not to reveal to us.

The great thing about pastoring a reasonably healthy, small church is you can make a big difference in a hurry.

My seminary pastorate had run 40 in attendance for years. The day that congregation called me as pastor, I overheard one man saying to another, “This little church is doing all it’s ever going to do.”  I was determined to prove him wrong.

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When the pastor exceeds his expiration date

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Of all the questions church people send my way, this may be the most difficult.

Our pastor has been here umpteen years.  He has lost his vision and his energy, and the church is dying.  The numbers are down considerably, and yet the church is located in a growing area.  We love him and are so grateful to God for his ministry over the years. But isn’t there a limit to the loyalty thing?  At what point does a pastor need to be told that his time here is up?

There are no simple or easy answers to this.  Handled wrongly, this matter can destroy a church, inflict a terminal wound to a veteran minister, and hurt his family in lasting ways.

On the one hand, the minister is there by the Lord’s doing. Paul tells us the Holy Spirit makes the pastors/elders the overseers of the church (Acts 20:28).  We do not want to casually hurt God’s servant since our Lord Jesus said, “Whoever receives you, receives me” (Matthew 10:40).  Now, we are not equating today’s pastors with Moses but throughout Israel’s wilderness wanderings, it was clear that the Lord took personally the treatment/mistreatment of His man by the people.

I think that’s still the case.  When people mistreated God’s prophets down through the ages, He interpreted that as an offense toward Himself.

So, we always want to try to honor the Lord’s servant, even if he is undeserving at this particular moment.

On the other hand.

We feel a strong devotion to the health of the Lord’s church and the need to protect it.  Anyone who is depressing the church, blocking its mission, sapping its strength, and deadening its soul needs to be dealt with, even when that happens to be the undershepherd himself.

So, what is a church to do?

Pray for wisdom. Pray for understanding to know what to do. Pray for courage to be able to do it. Pray for the pastor to get his act together.  Pray for the church leadership to be faithful and responsible. Pray for the membership as they respond to their leaders.

Pray for the Lord’s will to be done in this and everything.

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The painful putdown can be a gift in disguise

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As we sat at the breakfast table discussing memories good and bad, my Bertha said something so special I wrote it down just so I’d get it right.

We have a wagonload of memories of God’s people who have loved us and cared for us. But we also have painful memories that we wish we could edit out of our lives.  But the Holy Spirit has shown me that if He took out the pain and strife, He would also be removing the lovely things that happened during that same time. Or, that happened as a direct result of the bad event. 

It brought up a painful memory from my junior high days.  A teacher said something really harsh that forever left its mark on me. Over the years as I have sometimes reflected on that incident, my primary focus has been on the painful hurt he caused.  I’ve thought about that teacher, why he said what he did, what it meant, and how I took it.  But I realized something from what Bertha said.

He helped me.

The teacher who scarred the kid 

I was a new student in that school.  There were a hundred of us seventh-graders from across that part of the county, and that day we had been herded into the gymnasium. The band director–Mr. Keating was his name–called us to order and announced that today we would be electing class officers.

Now, for four years I’d gone to school in rural West Virginia and then we moved back to Alabama in time for my sixth grade in a two-room rural (I mean really, really rural!) school.  So, now, we would ride the bus on into the county seat of Double Springs, AL for the rest of our schooling.  Junior high and senior high classes were all held in the same building.

Of the hundred students in our class, perhaps half lived there in town. Since the rest of us were from across the county, only the town kids knew each other.  So, when class officers were chosen, they nominated people they knew.  As a result, the town kids were nominating one another. Only they were being elected.

So, I raised my hand.

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