Category Archives: Church Conflict

Why the pastor is the last one who should deal with personal attacks

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Someone–Sister Dee Structive or Brother Big Shott–is stirring up dissension in the church, accusing the pastor of this silliness or that foolishness.

On the surface, their criticism appears to be nonsense, and yet some people will believe anything negative. The congregation is disturbed by this business and outsiders are looking around for other churches to visit.

Somebody ought to do something and do it quickly.

We have said on this website that when someone in the church attacks the pastor and is stirring up strife in the church, a small group of Godly members should visit the troublemaker and do two things: a) ask “what’s going on?” and then b) listen to their complaint.  If they have a legitimate beef, or if it appears they may have one, the members of the task force return to the pastor and, with his involvement, begin the process of dealing with it.  However, if the individual does not have a sound reason for what they are doing, the visitors kindly but firmly ask them to “cease and desist.”

“Sister Structive, we are asking you to stop this now. It should end.”

To my surprise, several readers went found much to disagree with in this approach.

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Ignorance plus arrogance? Move back and give it some room!

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“A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.” (Is that in the Bible? It ought to be. Smiley-face goes here.)

Here’s one that is: “I am also convinced that you yourselves are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, and able also to admonish one another.” That’s Romans 15:14, and we sure wish we knew whether the Apostle Paul had tongue firmly planted in cheek when he said this or was dead serious.  It appears to us that the recipients of this Roman letter, as with so many of the others Paul wrote, were deficient in some areas of knowledge of spiritual things. We’re glad they were, of course, because in addressing these issues for them, Paul ended up instructing us.

One wonders what it must be like to be “filled with all knowledge.”

After all, “knowledge puffs up” (I Corinthians 8:1).  Modern translations say, “knowledge makes arrogant.”

Ignorance does too, oddly enough.  In fact….

Ignorance coupled with arrogance makes for a deadly combination.  When you see that monster coming down the road, get out of the way because it bloodies everything it touches.

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When you’re doing your best work for the Lord, you may be enjoying it the least.

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“…we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed;  perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body” (Second Corinthians 4:8-10).

Think of this as a letter, a reply to several people in the  ministry who are so stressed out–and angry and discouraged and frustrated–they are considering jumping ship, throwing in the towel, and a lot of other metaphors that mean quitting and going back home..

Don’t quit, friend.

When you find yourself working in a place where God sent you and doing the work which God gave you everything else is secondary.

The fact that the church keeps changing your job description and expecting more and more from you is just a fact of life.

The fact that the pastor you work for has become a tyrant is interesting, but not much more than that.

The fact that the personnel committee is making ever-increasing demands on you while curtailing the little support you were receiving is of concern, yes, but it’s not determinative.

That Sister Dee Structive is stirring up gossip about you and trying to undermine  your ministry just makes your service for the Lord all the sweeter.

And that’s my point.

When the people you look to most for support and encouragement in ministry turn against you and you find yourself all alone out there on the stage, you are about to do your best work for the Lord.

Don’t blow this now, child of God.

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Perfectionism: The cruelest burden we place on one another

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“Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father in Heaven is perfect….” (Matthew 5:48)

First, let’s get the theological argument out of the way.

Let’s make this perfectly clear: God knows you are not perfect and will never be this side of Glory.

And even clearer: “God does not expect sinlessness out of you and me. He is under no illusion about us.”  See Psalm 103:14 “He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust.” And Romans 3:10 “There is none righteous, no, not one.”

Got that?  The illusion of sinless perfection is all ours, my friend.

We read Matthew 5:48 and come away with the erroneous conclusion that God ordered us to be perfect, that perfect means sinlessness, and therefore we can be sinless.  But since we cannot achieve perfection–no one you know has ever pulled it off–then He has given us an impossible standard to live by, one that crushes us and frustrates us and forever disappoints Him.

The result would be that we forever live with a disgusted God and in fear of the celestial woodshed, the destiny of children who bring in failing grades.

Yuck. What kind of theology is this?  And yet, you and I know people who believe this and call themselves Bible students, serious disciples of Jesus, and even evangelists (“sharers of the good news”)..

Now, let’s drop the other shoe here…

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20 things a pastor can do to get past a rough time

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Some power clique in the church is on your case.  Some church member is leading a movement to oust you.  The church has a history of ousting pastors every so often and it’s time, and some members are getting restless.

Or, perhaps, as the pastor, you did something wrong and it blew up in your face.  People are calling for your head.

Or, you failed to act and some cancer has gained a foothold within the congregation and your job is in jeopardy.

What to do now?

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The special diet young believers need

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“After they had preached the gospel in that city and had made many disciples, they returned to Lystra and to Iconium and to Antioch, strengthening the souls of the disciples, encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying, ‘Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God.’ (Acts 14:21-22).”

People who sell pet food say the young animals need a richer diet, one loaded with protein and certain vitamins.  Obstetricians make a similar observation about human babies.

It’s true of babies in Christ also. They need nurturing, tender instruction, and careful preparation for all that is ahead in this new life they have chosen and for which they were chosen.

At the apogee of what we refer to as their first missionary journey,* Paul and Barnabas decided that instead of blazing new trails into pioneer territory with the gospel of Jesus, they should retrace their steps and do followup with the people they had already led to the Lord. So, they turned around and went back, right into the towns and cities where they had been “tarred and feathered,” so to speak, and warned never to return.

In this case, however, they were no longer standing in public squares proclaiming the gospel to the disinterested and hostile, but meeting quietly with bands of believers to assist them in their spiritual growth and in becoming effective churches.

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The day the Seventh-Day Adventist came to visit.

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“Therefore, let no man act as your judge in regard to food or drink or in respect to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath day–things which are a mere shadow of what is to come; but the substance belongs to Christ” (Colossians 2:16-17).

I’m not sure why some people want to fight over which day of the week to worship. Why not worship Him every day?

Let’s thank the Lord for every day of every week, praising Him that this one also is “the day He has made” and declare that “we will rejoice and be glad in it!”

But some people choose one day for special religious duties and insist that everyone else should too. Those who don’t are disobeying Scripture, disappointing God, and deserting their duty.  According to them, such backsliders are in big trouble.

People making an issue over the Sabbath need an answer.

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The church membership in the last days

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“But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God–having a form of godliness but denying its power.  And that’s just the Christians!” (II Timothy 3:1-5)

I added that last line. Forgive me.

I did it to make a point: Paul is not talking about the world’s crowd here.

The people of the world have always been self-centered, money-mad and pleasure-driven.

It’s God’s people–the redeemed, the members of His churches, those entrusted with the gospel–who will be this way.

Read that and weep.

Some observations on what this means for ministry in these last days…

1) This is not all bad.

Everyone is welcome at church, so we have always had a mixture of the good and evil in the pews, and that’s how it should be.  (See Matthew 22:10 where both evil and good people became guests at the banquet.)

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Three huge mistakes church bullies make (and what to do about them)

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Anyone interposing himself between the Lord Jesus and His church is asking for it.

Sometimes–as I keep getting reminded by readers–that would-be dictator is the pastor, a man sent by God to be the shepherd of the sheep but who has forgotten that he does not own the flock and cannot do with it as he pleases.

More likely, however, the man (it’s almost always a man) who takes it upon himself to run the church is a layperson with what he thinks are dynamic leadership skills.  My observation is that he is a bully in other ways and places too, particularly at home and in the office. (He usually owns his own company and thus calls the shots without interference from anyone.)

1) Bullies are wrong about themselves.

They don’t think of it as bullying: they’re just taking the leadership when no one else will. Filling the vacuum.

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The brave and courageous leader of the Lord’s church

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“Be strong and courageous” (Joshua 1:6,7,9,18).

The pastor of a church with which I’m familiar is something of a bully, according to some members I know. So, the other day, seeing him talking rudely to two women and watching them leaving in tears, a deacon in that church did a brave thing.

He went to see the pastor.

After hearing out the preacher on what had occurred, this courageous clayman told the pastor he was in the wrong, that he had been out of line, and asked him to apologize to the women.

The last I heard, the pastor has not apologized. From what I gather, no one expects that he will.  He built a reputation as one who will get his way above all, and to back down to anyone is not in his nature.

Such a bully has no business in the ministry.

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