This pastor’s favorite guilty pleasure

Everyone knows what a pleasure is. A guilty pleasure is some activity that you enjoy but over which you feel a tiny pang of regret, as though perhaps you should not be enjoying it quite as much as you do.

Okay with that?

Most of my pleasures are completely unrelated to guilt. I love a good meal, a wonderful visit with a friend, an old 1940-ish black/white movie, a ball game, an hour on the patio enjoying watermelon with my grandchildren, and a social at church with two dozen freezers of home-made ice cream in every flavor imaginable.

But I do have one guilty pleasure.  This activity makes me feel good but I feel a tinge of guilt associated with it, like maybe I shouldn’t.

I love to watch a bully get his comeuppance.

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Bearing the storms’ scars in our lives

“I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus….” (Galatians 6:17).

My son is trying to find a good used car for his daughters. Since their big brother graduated this year, Abby and Erin will be driving themselves to school this fall.  Twice Neil has found possibilities, but wisely took the cars to a trusted mechanic for his appraisal.

Today, it fell to me to drive the second of these cars to the repair shop. Our mechanic friend studied the car, drove it a bit, then recommended we not buy it for a number of reasons. Then, he said, “Come here, Reverend. I want to show you something.”

“See those dirty stains on the seats?”

Each seat carried rust-colored stains in wavy lines.

“This car has been flooded,” said Rick.  “And here is something else.”

There were scratches–horizontal, odd-looking lines–on the hood and the trunk. “This is where things scraped over the car,” he said.

I thought of the 100,000 automobiles that were ruined in Hurricane Katrina’s floodwaters. In many cases, the water was six to ten feet deep, and lingered for weeks. I’ve seen photos and heard stories from friends who drove boats over parking lots where all you could see were the tops of cars. It’s easy to imagine something being dragged across a flooded car.

Eventually, the cars were towed and left under bridges and interstates for months before being disposed of.

Later, we learned that some people were doing hasty repair jobs on the flooded cars and passing them off as normal. “Buyer beware” became the mantra.

I said, “Thank you, Rick. I would not have known what to look for.”

Our mechanic friend saved us a lot of headaches and heartaches, and doubtless a good deal of money in repair jobs.

People go through storms in this life, and like that car, carry the scars and stains for the rest of their days.

Some of those stains and scars are visible, if you know what you are looking for….

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Viruses that infect the church

“But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived” (II Timothy 3:13).

The nature of computer viruses, as I understand them, is that a kink is placed in the inner workings of these systems which infiltrates all aspects and makes it impossible for the computer to do the work for which it was intended.

They are called “viruses” for good reason. Plagues are the result of viruses being passed along from one person to another until millions are infected and a great many die.

Quarantining the carriers has traditionally been the means of stopping the virus in its tracks.

In the Kingdom of God–the church on earth, if you will–bad ideas and wrong-headed philosophies function in the same way as viruses.  They infect a church and as members and leaders interact with other churches, as people relocate and assume places in other congregations, the infection is spread.

The result is always deadly.

Here are seven viruses which I have observed affecting and infecting the Lord’s work on earth today....

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He said, “My pastor needs to go.”

“The things you have heard from me….commit these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also. You therefore…(are to be) a good soldier of Jesus Christ….” (II Timothy 2:2-3)

If your pastor is a godly, humble man who is leading the congregation to minister effectively and become healthy spiritually, give thanks and support him enthusiastically.

You are the envy of a lot of other churches.

The caller the other night said he is a lay leader of his church, a strong tither, and a volunteer who can be counted on.  The church he loves so much is into freefall with members deserting it in droves and going to other churches, while his pastor is a liar, a bully, and on the way to becoming a dictator. Church attendance is one-half what it was when the preacher came a few years back.

What to do?

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Behold, the rabble!

“And the rabble who were among them had greedy desires….” (Numbers 11:4)

When Israel left Egypt under Moses, the people of God were not alone. Accompanying them was a group of malcontents and hangers-on who apparently stayed with them all the way through the wilderness wanderings on into Canaan.

The Bible calls them “rabble.” They were along for the ride, glad for an excuse to break out of Egypt.

They were a persistent sore on the body of God’s people.

Their presence explains a lot of things.

Who were they?  Exodus 12:37-38 reads: “Now the sons of Israel journeyed from Rameses to Succoth, about six hundred thousand men on foot, aside from children, and a mixed multitude also went up with them, along with flocks and herds, a very large number of livestock.”

That’s all it says: “a mixed multitude.”

Not all were sons and daughters of Abraham or descendants of Jacob. We may assume they were a hodge-podge of humanity, people who for reasons of friendship or self-advancement or marriage had attached themselves to the Hebrews.

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The angry pastor: trouble in the making

“Now, in the last days, difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self…boastful, arrogant, revilers…ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited…. Avoid such men as these.” (II Timothy 3:1-5)

Veteran Christian workers get this a lot. People tell you of a conversation they had with you years or even decades ago in which you either said the magic words that changed their lives or came out with something that infuriated them then and continues to bug them to this day.

You don’t remember any of it.

In yesterday’s cybermail, I had two such messages, one of each kind. One young minister was thanking me and the other was venting. Both conversations had occurred nearly 10 years ago.

The second letter told of the time the writer sat in my office, seeking guidance for entering the ministry. According to his note, I asked what kind of church position he was interested in.  And that’s what ticked him off.

“I was morally outraged by the question,” he said.

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A few of my least favorite people.

Someone stop me. I can’t seem to help myself. (Each article in this little “favorite/least favorite” series I think will be the last. Then, another suggests itself to me and I’m gone.)

I don’t like bullies. Don’t like them on the playground, in the office, or particularly in the church. I’ve encountered them on the streets and highways, pushing their oversize pickup trucks up to my bumper intending to intimidate me into pulling over and giving them their natural right, the entire highway.

One such person breezed through a four-way-stop intersection on a bike in front of me. When I pulled alongside him a minute later, I called, “Sir, I almost hit you. Don’t you know bikers are supposed to obey traffic laws?” For that, I received a cursing out.

A bully in church throws his weight around, thinks his point of view should carry the day, and expects the pastor and staff to consult him before making any important decision. Such a person has a personality defect and is probably lost spiritually since a characteristic of the born-again has always been a childlike humility and teachableness.

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10 reasons not to quit abruptly, pastor

“Therefore, we do not lose heart.” (II Corinthians 4:1,16)

From time to time I receive notes like this:

“I resigned my church tonight. Just couldn’t take it any more. The bullying from a few strong men (or one family in particular) finally wore me out. So, I got good and fed up, and tonight I tossed in the towel and told them I was through. It feels good to walk away and leave all this stress behind. But now, I will be needing a place to move to, a way to support my family, and when the Lord is ready, a new church to pastor. Please keep me in mind if you know of a church in need of my services.”

Nothing about that feels right. I want to call to my friend, “You resigned in a fit of temper or or a moment of discouragement? You walked away from the place God sent you? You quit a well-paying job without knowing where you will move your family or how you will support them? Have you lost your everloving mind?!”

I guarantee you the pastor’s wife is thinking these thoughts, no matter how loyally she supports her man and aches to see him struggling under such a heavy load.

I would like to say to every minister I know that unless you are sure the Holy Spirit inside you is saying, “This is the time. Walk away now,” don’t do it. Do not resign abruptly or impulsively.

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Unity: how to recognize it, how to get it, how to keep it in your church

“…with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:2-3)

“And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” (Colossians 3:14)

The joke about both art and porn is that “I can’t tell you what it is, but I know it when I see it.”

That may be how it is with church unity. There is nothing else like it. When a church is unified and moves forward as a healthy body for Christ, the rest of the Christian world stands back in awe. Something inside us calls out “Now, that is what I’m talking about!”

To paraphrase Tolstoy on families, all unified churches are alike but divided churches are each divided in their own way.

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What to say when your church members ask about those hard Scriptures

“This is a difficult statement; who can listen to it?” (John 6:60)

Young pastors struggle with questions that arise from the congregation in the middle of their teachings. You’re holding forth on some rich teaching and someone blurts out, “But pastor, doesn’t Paul say such-and-so?”

Sure enough, Paul did say such and so, and said it in two or three places so strongly and clearly no one but the most resistant can deny. However, what he said does not fit with the point you were trying to make. Now, you have no choice but to deal with it.

Until that moment, you always liked the Apostle Paul and considered him one of your favorites.

You find yourself remembering–treasuring even–something the Apostle Peter said about Paul: “In all (Paul’s) letters, speaking in them of these things, in which are some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction.” (II Peter 3:16)

That’s a good verse to remember, young pastor. The time will come when you will need to refer an insistent questioner to it. After reading it–never quote it; the heckler  (smiley-face goes here) needs to see it in black and white in his own Bible–you will then say, “If Peter had difficulty getting a handle on some of Paul’s writings, it’s no stretch to think you and I might.”

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