Making war seem like fun?

Lately, my son Neil and I have been slugging our way through a couple of heavy books on the 1863 Vicksburg campaign in the Civil War.  When we finally figure out what happened and where and who did what to whom, we plan to spend a couple of days in the area walking the battlefield park.

Winston Groom, known to most as the author of “Forrest Gump,” is a well-respected writer of historical stuff including “Vicksburg 1863,” the second of our books (the other being Jeff Shaara’s “The Chain of Thunder”).  What makes Groom’s book a tad more enjoyable is the stuff he occasionally drops into the narrative. Like these, for instance….

ONE. Rebel General Nathan Bedford Forrest, a case study in a hundred things–ego, confidence, brilliance, foolhardiness, etc–caught up with Union Colonel Abel Streight near the Georgia line. Flying a flag of truce, Forrest invited Streight to surrender.  At the time he did such an outrageous thing, Forrest was out-numbered over three to one.

Streight agreed to surrender if Forrest could convince him that he had a completely superior force.

Forrest was ready.

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My favorite patriotic story

It was July 4 in our Mississippi town–possibly in other places too–and I was doing what we pastors often do, even on holidays, heading to the local hospital to check on a church member in crisis.  Along the way, I flipped on the radio and found myself listening to a patriotic rally being aired by the station in Houston, Mississippi.

A candidate for sheriff was speaking.

“One morning recently, I was driving the back roads in the southern part of the county looking for voters.  All morning long, I kept passing the same little yellow car.  I figured it was another candidate out trying to scare up votes.

“At lunchtime, I stopped at a country grocery and bought a soft drink and took my sandwich outside under the shade tree. A few minutes later, that same yellow car pulled up. The driver got out, went inside and bought some lunch, and came out and sat down under the same tree.

“Making conversation, I said, ‘What office are you running for?’

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This pastor’s favorite guilty pleasure

Everyone knows what a pleasure is. A guilty pleasure is some activity that you enjoy but over which you feel a tiny pang of regret, as though perhaps you should not be enjoying it quite as much as you do.

Okay with that?

Most of my pleasures are completely unrelated to guilt. I love a good meal, a wonderful visit with a friend, an old 1940-ish black/white movie, a ball game, an hour on the patio enjoying watermelon with my grandchildren, and a social at church with two dozen freezers of home-made ice cream in every flavor imaginable.

But I do have one guilty pleasure.  This activity makes me feel good but I feel a tinge of guilt associated with it, like maybe I shouldn’t.

I love to watch a bully get his comeuppance.

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Scriptures to camp out on

“…let your mind dwell on these things” (Philippians 4:8).

The practice of reading through the Bible in a year or less is good for a time or two. But then, once we check that off our bucket list, we would do well to master the art of living in one book of the Bible for a solid year, one chapter for six months, one verse for a week, one phrase for a day.

This verse has snagged my attention today and one part in particular…

“God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation” (Second Corinthians 5:19).

The first part–what God was doing in Christ–is the essence of the Gospel, Christ’s assignment in this world, if you will.  The last part–He has given us the word of the Gospel–is our assignment, our calling in this world.

In between, we have the unanticipated blessing of the Gospel message, that as a result of what He did in Jesus, God is not holding our sins against us.

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Bearing the storms’ scars in our lives

“I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus….” (Galatians 6:17).

My son is trying to find a good used car for his daughters. Since their big brother graduated this year, Abby and Erin will be driving themselves to school this fall.  Twice Neil has found possibilities, but wisely took the cars to a trusted mechanic for his appraisal.

Today, it fell to me to drive the second of these cars to the repair shop. Our mechanic friend studied the car, drove it a bit, then recommended we not buy it for a number of reasons. Then, he said, “Come here, Reverend. I want to show you something.”

“See those dirty stains on the seats?”

Each seat carried rust-colored stains in wavy lines.

“This car has been flooded,” said Rick.  “And here is something else.”

There were scratches–horizontal, odd-looking lines–on the hood and the trunk. “This is where things scraped over the car,” he said.

I thought of the 100,000 automobiles that were ruined in Hurricane Katrina’s floodwaters. In many cases, the water was six to ten feet deep, and lingered for weeks. I’ve seen photos and heard stories from friends who drove boats over parking lots where all you could see were the tops of cars. It’s easy to imagine something being dragged across a flooded car.

Eventually, the cars were towed and left under bridges and interstates for months before being disposed of.

Later, we learned that some people were doing hasty repair jobs on the flooded cars and passing them off as normal. “Buyer beware” became the mantra.

I said, “Thank you, Rick. I would not have known what to look for.”

Our mechanic friend saved us a lot of headaches and heartaches, and doubtless a good deal of money in repair jobs.

People go through storms in this life, and like that car, carry the scars and stains for the rest of their days.

Some of those stains and scars are visible, if you know what you are looking for….

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The problem is not with the Lord, but with us

“…but you were unwilling” (Matthew 23:37).

Why doesn’t God do this, why doesn’t He do that, what’s wrong with God, where was God when this happened?

One would think, from our constant griping and questioning of the Almighty, that we have a handicapped Deity, one who suffers from a lack of information or some chronic disease which limits His ability  to come through for us as we have (ahem) ordered.

We certainly seem to be a dissatisfied bunch.

The problem is not with God. We are the problem.  He is more than willing to do “abundantly above what we ask or think” (Ephesians 3:20).

Here are instances where Scripture makes crystal clear that we have a willing Lord and the problem is not with Him….

–“I am willing,” said the Savior to a seeking leper, as He reached out and did the unthinkable and touched the untouchable and made him well (Mark 1:41).

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What to do after your moronic two minutes

Pastor, have you ever had a meltdown in the pulpit?

In the news this week, two Atlanta radio jocks were fired for the on-air mocking they did of a New Orleans icon, former Saints football player Steve Gleason who has ALS (Lou Gehrig’s) and lives in a wheelchair and speaks through a computer.

They made fun of him, parodied his situation, and someone role-played Steve speaking of his coming death and such.

It was the ultimate in offensive.

In the article which ran here in New Orleans, one of the terminated idiots (I’m so objective in this story, as you can see) said, ‘What were we thinking?” The jocks apologized, and in a subsequent story, Gleason said he accepted their apology.

One of the men called it “a moronic two minutes.”

No argument.

I have had a few moronic two minutes in my long lifetime, and expect some of our readers have also.

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Pastor, that was a great message…if we could have only heard you.

“Let everyone be quick to hear….” (James 1:19)

Patricia Clarkson is an award-winning Hollywood actress and a well-loved native of our New Orleans. Her mother Jackie is a longtime political leader in the city. In Friday’s “The Advocate,” Patricia was reminiscing about when she first became aware she could act.

“I’ve had this distinctive voice since I was 5,” she said. “I remember the first play I did, in 8th grade, I brought the house down. I don’t think it was because I was good.  It was because I was the only person who could be heard in the auditorium! Deep voices are on my father’s side of the family. My grandmother had a beautiful deep voice.”

The only person who could be heard!

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When apologizing is not enough

“My sin is ever before me” (Psalm 51:3).

Bill Glass played a full career with the Cleveland Browns as an All-Pro defensive end before retiring for another career spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ.  In his mid-70s now, Bill is still “in the game” and “on the field.”

In his book, “Get in the Game,” Bill Glass tells of the time his team was battling the St. Louis Cardinals (back when they were still in that city).

That day, Cleveland had St. Louis backed up to their own 5 yard line. Cardinal quarterback Charlie Johnson took the ball and was running around in the end zone looking for someone to throw it to. Meanwhile Bill Glass, right defensive end for Cleveland, was bearing down on him from his blind side, while Paul Wiggin, left end, was barreling toward Johnson from the other side.

It was a defensive end’s dream. They are about to sack the quarterback in his own end zone. This can be a game-changer. Bill could just hear the crowd cheering.  This was going to be great.

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The rarest (and best?) way to give thanks

Recently, I spent part of a morning sketching the first graders in Jill Strahan’s class on the next-to-last day of school.  As I finished and was about to walk out the door, she handed me a booklet the children had put together thanking me for drawing them.

The booklet was not unlike many I’ve received before, childish drawings throughout, with festive sentences saying “Thank you, Mister Joe, for drawing me” and “Thank you for coming to our school.” One or two said, “You are a good drawer.”

It occurred to me later that Jill had led the class to make that booklet before I ever arrived (since there would not be time afterwards). So, the children had thanked me for a job well done before I ever did it.

They had thanked me by faith.

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