Holy sandpaper, pastor!!

This is a reprint of an article from August 2010.  The only changes are the names.  It’s been sixteen years and these people are in Heaven and it’s probably permissible to use their names.  Some members of that church in metro New Orleans are still with us, are active on social media and will read this.  I want them to. (It’s all good.) They were agents for our Heavenly Father in this pastor’s life.  

A pastor friend sent me a note just now reporting on his church. He has baptized several this year and had twice that number to join in other ways. I replied that God is using him to turn around that old church and, “Good for you, friend!”

He came back: “The curmudgeons are still there, though, still lurking.”

I answered, “They always will be. But let me tell you what I’ve finally learned about that. These detractors are doing you a favor. They motivate you to greater faithfulness, to do your best work, to keep the focus on the Lord.”

He said, “I call them ‘Holy Sandpaper.’”

The Lord uses them to get the rough edges off His servant.

Interesting how the notes I get from pastors–some are questions regarding ministry–turn out to be the very thing the Lord was talking with me about earlier.

Case in point. Yesterday, I was going through some old correspondence files, trying to decide what could be discarded. I ran across the most critical (as in life-changing) exchange of letters I ever had with a church member in nearly a half-century of ministry.

Here’s the story and our letters….

Continue reading

A promise I made to the Lord, which I am trying to keep

Nearly forty  years ago, when the Lord delivered me out of the pit of destruction (I’m channeling Psalm 40) that was a big oppressive church and when He showed my wife and me the Psalm (#66) with our names and situation in bold print, I made three vows.

I would live simply.  I would give generously.  I would encourage pastors.

The last of these I do all the time.  In fact, that’s what this website is all about, the encouragement of the Lord’s shepherds.

The first of these is a relative term, I suppose.  What living simply means in one culture would be something entirely different in another.  So, I’m going to leave that there.

But the second one is what this is all about.

I have decided to do something I have never done and may never do again.

I have never told others how much I give.

Today, I’m going to do that.

I’m not sure why.  Maybe it will be apparent some day.

It can’t hurt.  I have no congregation and no one to vote for me or against me.  No group of people to get up and walk out of church because I’m doing something they don’t like.  If I am.

No one really cares.

So, it’s just me.

These days in retirement, my income is basically two things but with the occasional smaller things.

Continue reading

What a caregiver has to keep telling himself

I’m my wife’s caregiver.

Pray for her.  I’m so completely unqualified for this.  But I’m trying.

A few months ago the neurologist informed Bertha’s daughter and me that all the tests reveal she has Alzheimer’s.  “Her brain is atrophying. It’s going to get worse.”

So far, she’s done all right, I assume.  She mostly sleeps.  Around the clock, every two or three hours, she goes to the bathroom and looks for something to eat in the kitchen.  So, my role is keeping foods handy on the kitchen counter and washing the bed clothes regularly and seeing that she takes her meds morning and evening.

A friend sent a chart of the seven stages of dementia.  If it’s reliable, then we’re at stage five, looks like.

At night as I lie down beside her, I try to think of what more I could be doing. What did I leave undone? What am I missing?  What’s on the agenda for tomorrow and what can I do to prepare for it tonight?

So, today in the mail came this card from a friend of fifty years containing a Max Lucado quote.

One day I believe you’ll hear the Lord say, “I’m so proud that you let Me use you.  Because of you, others are here today.  Would you like to meet them?”

And on the inside my friend wrote, As I pray for you, I am sometimes impressed to pray against sadness and discouragement.  Please remember that God has you and Bertha in His hands. And He and I love you very much. I praise Him for putting you in my life in my sophomore year at Mississippi College.

I teared up.

Now, it appears to me that what the Max Lucado quote is saying is:  You’re doing good. Keep it up.

That’s so hard for me.  As the caregiver for my wife Bertha, most nights when my head hits the pillow I’m feeling like a failure. I’m not doing well.  Do I dare leave her for an hour tomorrow while I run to the grocery, the cleaners, post office, and bank?  Will I come home one day and find that she is in trouble?

The word angst comes to mind.  It’s a generalized feeling that something is amiss.  Sortof a floating anxiety.

That’s what I feel at night.

Continue reading

Looking back: My three girl-friends and what God did

When you reach the latter years of life, you become thankful not only for what God did for you, but also what He did not do that you may have thought you wanted at the time.

Case in point is the three young ladies I was in love with, somewhat. In telling the story, it’s hard to keep it brief.  I apologize for my tendency to wander. Oh, and I’ve altered the names of the first two girls.

I grew up in Winston County, Alabama.  When I was 11 we moved back to Alabama from the West Virginia mining camp (near Beckley) where we had lived for four years.  Since the mines had closed and we had nowhere to live, we moved in with our newly widowed grandmother, Sarah Kilgore, my mom’s mother.  How in the world our family–there were eight of us!–crowded into that small farmhouse is beyond me.  But I have no memories of a problem.

After a year or so, we moved to the house on the next ridge when my uncle Ted Spain, married to Mom’s younger sister Ruth, became forest ranger in Guntersville, Alabama.  It was a four-room house with a screened-in back porch, sitting on 107 acres, that Dad rented from Uncle Ted for the princely sum of $75/year.

In 1951, my siblings would be 16 years old (Ron), 15 (Glenn), 13 (Patricia), 9 (Carolyn), and 7 (Charlie).

Since Dad was unable to find a job in any of the local coal mines–this was all he had done since he quit school at the age of 12 to work alongside his dad and his uncles–Dad began farming.  And his sons learned to plow.

My first girl-friend.  Now, as a teenager on the farm, there was no dating as such. We had no money and no car. Furthermore, none of my siblings were dating as far as I could tell. So, I learned nothing about girls and dating etiquette from anyone in our family.

The first time I saw Joy she was in the sixth grade.  I passed her classroom each day since the school cafeteria was just beyond it. Sometimes she would be leaving her room to walk home, which was just across the street.  I was instantly taken. She was cute, cute, cute.

Continue reading

I will never forget the night I got saved

I remember it clearly.

It was the summer of 1951 and I was eleven years old.  Our family had moved back to rural Alabama from the coal fields of West Virginia.  For the four years up north our family had attended the little Methodist church that sat at the foot of the mountain by the railroad tracks.  I loved that little church and actually joined it when I was eight.  I recall that too.

For our four years in Affinity, WV, this was the only revival that the little church had.  I loved it. For reasons known only to the Father, I was enthralled by church and preachers and church services.  I loved Jesus, I felt, although I’m not sure how much I knew about him.

That night at the Methodist church, when the pastor gave the invitation for people to come to Jesus, I looked at my Mom as if to say, “Can I go?”  She nodded and I went.  I did not know what to do when I got to the preacher, and clearly neither did he.

“Kneel down here,” he said.  So I did.  My mind was blank, nothing going on. I’m just waiting for what comes next.

After a bit they stood up those who had responded and introduced us to the church.  I have no memory of what they said, but I recall vividly what happened the next Sunday.  We went to the altar where they put a few drops of water on our heads and gave us grape juice and crackers.  What they did not give us was an explanation as to what this was about. I was clueless and assume the other children were too.

Toward the end of that service, a little girl sitting with her preschooler brother spoke out loudly in church. “Jerry didn’t get his grape juice!”

So someone took him some.

Our family laughed about that for years.

I was now a member of the Affinity Methodist Church.

Continue reading

I was eleven years old that summer. Here’s what happened.

I was never very good at introspection, trying to figure out why I said something or did something or how I got to be the person that I am. Most men are said to have the same limitation.

However, looking back over a life that has lasted nearly nine-tenths of a century, it’s hard not to notice a few life-intersections that felt minor at the time but turned out to be major game-changers.

The summer of my eleventh year was just such a time.

In mid-1951, my world changed. Our family moved from a West Virginia mining camp into the home of our maternal grandmother on the remote Alabama farm where my mom had been raised. To my mind, we had moved from civilization to Mars.

We went from living in a mountaintop community with swarms of children to a farmhouse 13 miles from town and nearly that far to the nearest friend my age. It felt as if I had been sentenced to solitary confinement.

From a life preoccupied with playing and enjoying myself, I moved to one focused on the life of a working farmhand. Ball games and fun times with buddies were replaced by long afternoons in the field alongside my brothers and sisters.

In leaving West Virginia, I traded an exciting new school with terrific teachers and great classmates for an old, barren, two-room Alabama school 10 miles from the county seat, presided over by a small-time dictator-principal and his wife. Mrs. Johnson taught the first 3 grades; Mr. Johnson had the other three. I wondered if the county school board even knew they were in the system.

For the four years we’d lived in West Virginia, our Alabama cousins seemed to find my Yankee brogue fascinating and on summer visits south, would gather around just to listen. When we moved back to Alabama and it became apparent that I was going to be a classmate at Poplar Springs, my strange speech pattern quickly went from exotic to an embarrassment;

That summer, in the annual revival at New Oak Free Will Baptist Church, the small church where our family had worshiped for generations, Jesus Christ came into my life and saved me.

Continue reading

The revival sparked by two teenagers

I was in my first pastorate after seminary. Emmanuel Baptist Church in Greenville, Mississippi, was struggling to find its identity.  Made up primarily, I was told, of people who had joined from other churches, and thus a weak fellowship unsure of themselves and of their purpose for existing.

In time this was to become the sweetest of any of the six churches I pastored.  And it all happened because two teenage girls were faithful.

Debbie and Becky. Two champions for the Lord.

Debbie is married to Charlie and they’ve lived in Vicksburg, MS for all their adult lives. Serving God faithfully.

Becky is married to Larry, a pastor, and they’ve served churches in Texas all their adult lives.

They are something special.

The time was the late 1960’s.  I pastored Emmanuel from November 1967 through December 1970. Only three years and two months. But a lot can happen in three years.  Ask our Lord and His disciples.

There was no unity or cohesion in the church.  The Sunday I preached “in view of a call” (that is the term we Baptists employ) I told a joke.  Consequently, twenty-five people voted against me.  The chairman of the search committee gently rebuked me for such foolishness from the pulpit.  And next Sunday, when he called me in Louisiana to announce the vote, I turned it down.  I said, “Well, I think that’s too many people against me.”

Mr. Bryant said, “Preacher, ask the Lord. Then do whatever He tells you to do.”  It was good advice.  When I asked, within five minutes of praying, I knew we were going to Greenville.

Gossip raged throughout the congregation.  People were unhappy with themselves, with God, with me.  So, sometime in my first year there, I felt we should have a revival meeting.

That day a flyer came in the mail from Evangelist Don Womack of Memphis. I’d never heard of the fellow but decided the Lord must mean for us to invite him for a revival.   I would have to learn the hard way not to be presumptuous.

He came in with a motor home which they plugged up at the church.  We did the revival Sunday through Sunday.  The attendance grew less and less all week.  We had one kid saved Wednesday night. I complained to Mr. Bryant, now the chairman of deacons.

“Where are our people?  They’re not supporting the revival.”

He said, “Preacher, the man can’t preach!”

I said, “I know that. But other than that, where are the people?” I smile, but that is the exact conversation.

Continue reading

How destiny hangs by a thin thread; life can change forever in one tiny act

At the age of 86 (and counting; still doing good! walked my mile early this morning), I’m reflecting on how life works. From time to time I’ll be posting these little memoir-essays on my FB page.  The plan right now is not to leave them up very long before posting a more typical piece.  The point is to keep the essay.)

I was thinking how little things matter.

ONE DAY IN 1945, my mama made me a cartoonist by one small act.

Mom had three children in school and three at home. When I was 5, Carolyn was 3, and Charlie was 1.  Mom was always working hard and furiously–cleaning, cooking, washing clothes, everything.  And I recall the day she put Carolyn and me at the kitchen table, gave us a tablet and a pencil each, and said, “Now, sit there and draw!”

I learned that day that I loved to draw. And never stopped.

People ask if mom knew what she was doing.  My answer is: All she was doing was getting us out of her way, trying to find a little peace and quiet.

The Lord took it from there.  Next year when I went to first grade, the other children would gather and watch me draw.  Could I draw well, people ask?  Of course not. I was six years old.  But the point is I could draw better than the rest of them.

For reasons unknown, the single most asked question when I’m sketching large numbers of people is this: “How long have you been drawing?” When I say, “81 years,” they are stunned into silence. So, then I explain what Mom did.

Continue reading

Hospitality to strangers: I love receiving it, love giving it.

(This is a repost from this website in 2004.  Rather than update it, I’ve decided to reprint it as is.  We were living in metro New Orleans where I’d been pastoring since 1990.  Sometime in the Spring of 2004, I left the pastorate and became Director of Missions for all the Southern Baptist churches of metro New Orleans, a five parish area that reached west to LaPlace and south to the end of the Mississippi River.) 

It was Monday and I was headed for Alexandria, three hours away, for our annual Louisiana Baptist Convention due to get underway at 5:30 that evening. I’ve made the drive from our New Orleans home so many times–Interstate 10 west through Baton Rouge to LaFayette, then north on Interstate 49 to Alexandria–that I needed a change of scenery. That’s why I took highway 190 out of Baton Rouge, through the sugar cane country toward Opelousas, then north on US 71 to Alexandria.

In the little town of Bunkie, I came upon a gasoline war of sorts, with service stations selling their stuff for $1.75 a gallon. I stopped to fill up and noticing the time, asked the attendant, “Where’s a good place to eat around here? A plate lunch.” He said, “The Bailey Hotel. One block past the light, then left one block.”

The sign in front says the Bailey was built in 1907, although the building has that fresh, springlike appearance like someone has just sunk some money into this place. Inside, I was the only diner in the restaurant, unless you counted the happy chattering of the Lions’ Club on the other side of the partition. As I sat there enjoying the special of the day, a little white-haired lady entered the room and began rearranging flowers. She greeted me and said something, and in a minute she was standing at my table telling me about the Bailey Hotel.

“I told my son not to buy this place three years ago. But he bought it anyway. And we’re glad. We love it. Although we need to get the word out on the rooms. These 30 rooms could use some customers.”

Continue reading

Lessons the day we buried my wonderful mother

(This was first posted fourteen years back, on this date in 2012. I thought it deserved a second airing. See what you think.)

Monday and Tuesday nights of this week, I slept in our family farmhouse alone. It’s the first time in my long life I’ve done that. That house was built early in 1954, and ever since my parents have lived in it, never venturing away for more than a day or so. They were the ultimate homebodies. Over the years, whenever I visited them, I never needed to call ahead to see if they would be at home.

They were always home. Always.

Now, the house is empty.

Dad died in November of 2007; Mom died last Saturday, June 2, 2012.

Mom and Pop are united in Heaven. They each lived past their 95th birthday, and Mom almost made it to 96. Longevity is a good thing if you get the living part right. They aced it.

Tuesday, we had Mom’s funeral. Her casket sat at the foot of the church altar just as her youngest son Charlie’s had in April 2006 and Pop’s did 18 months after that.

The same three preachers did Mom’s funeral as did Pop’s (Pastor Mickey Crane, my brother Ron, and I). The songs were different, and maybe the scriptures. But the congregation was much the same.

It felt like the second verse of the same song.

This Thursday morning, lying awake in bed when I wish I could have been sleeping, I thought of lessons you learn or get reinforced in family funerals that you might otherwise miss. I came up with 12; there are probably 500.

Continue reading