(A few years back, to review books, we would list all the pertinent data–as though we were giving the details of a book’s origin for a seminary class–publisher, city, date, etc.  These days, with a hundred ways of buying books online, and the way prices can vary, none of that is necessary. However, anyone having difficulty locating any of these, please let me know. — In most cases, you can go online and purchase these books new. But most are available used, from sources like www.alibris.com and www.amazon.com. I’m a big believer in buying used. The Feynman book below, for example, can be bought for $.99 and postage/handling through alibris.)

“Tough Guys and Drama Queens” by Mark Gregston.  Subtitle: How not to get blindsided by your child’s teen years.

My wife loves this book, read it cover to cover (at my request; I’d been asked to review it), and cannot recommend it highly enough. We gave copies to our three children, all of whom have teenagers.

Gregston has a website www.parentingtodaysteen.org where parents can find a ton of help in negotiating their way through the thicket of raising these precious, precocious youngsters.

Gregston lists three pitfalls to avoid: perfectionism, authoritarianism, and judging. Among the “parenting practices that really work” he builds chapters around relating to the kids, asking questions, fostering independence, and using conflict to bring about real change.

If you know someone with children about to arrive in their teens, get this book and get it quickly. As Snuffy Smith (cartoon character) used to say, “Time’s a-wastin’!”

Continue reading →

Have you ever thought of a story to tell someone when it was too late?

Recently, while guest-preaching at the First Baptist Church of Natchez, Mississippi, I should have told this story because it’s about someone many of the older members will remember.

Some forty years ago, the minister of education of that church–his name escapes me–told in their weekly mailout of a senior lady stopping by the church office that week. She had read a book, found it helpful, and thought the pastor would enjoy it, so had dropped it off at his study. As long as she was in the building, she ran by the bookkeeper’s desk to check on her giving for the year. “I like to stay up to date,” she said.

She was.

Before the weekend, she had died.

The minister telling the story noted, “She died up to date.”

I like everything about that story. For all these years, I have treasured that line about this saint of the Lord whom I never met and do not know.

She died up to date.

Yesterday at lunch, my friend Lonnie and I were sharing about a hundred subjects. That’s what happens when you get two right-brained people together for an hour. No one subject gets more than a 5-minute treatment; we flitted from one thing to another. A story of his made me think of one, and so forth. No one was trying to top the other; neither of us is into oneupsmanship. We just enjoy the fellowship. Iron sharpening iron, perhaps. (Nerf sharpening nerf?)

Continue reading →

“My little children, let us not love with word or with tongue (only), but in deed and in truth.” (I John 3:18)

When our younger son was eleven, he was going through a difficult time for some reason. One day he sat in his room, alone, quiet, deep in thought. Suddenly, he got up and came into the kitchen where his mother was preparing dinner.

“Mom,” he said, “I’ll bet you can’t tell me ten things you like about me.”

Margaret thought, “Ten! Most people would have said one!” As she began reciting the qualities she treasured most about this beloved child–a sharp mind, his sweet personality, etc.–she kept sending up a panicky prayer, “O Lord, please help me to think of ten!”

She did, he gave her a big hug, and then went on with his day.

We all need a little reinforcing now and then. Most do not verbalize the need though, but squelch the sensation and suffer through the moment. I wonder if we don’t all lose something as a result: the child in us missing out on the loving affirmation and those around us bypassing the opportunity to make a lasting difference.

Remedy: Make a constant practice of telling those big in your life how special they are.

Christian author Tony Campolo says husbands can put new life into their marriages by following two simple rules:

Continue reading →

“Grandchildren are the crown of old men….” (Proverbs 17:6 KJV)

A friend asked that I write a blog about grandchildren.

As one who needs no prompting to talk about these eight wonderful humans who have so enriched my life, that’s all it took.

So, let’s see how this goes.

Margaret and I have two sons, Joe Neil, Jr., called “Neil” and John Marshall, called “Marty.” When they were11 and 8, we adopted Carla Jinoke from Korea. She was 5. Her Korean name was Kim Jin Ok. We named her “Carla” for my father Carl, and kept the “Jinoke” (pronounced “jin-OH-kee”) because that first day, she pronounced her name for us in that way.

All three are children of the 1960s.

Back then, when someone asked if we had children, I would answer, “We have three–two domestic and one imported.”

In May of 1974 when we received our daughter at the Kansas City airport, I stood at the window that Tuesday afternoon watching the United plane pull up to the gate with a surprising thought filling my mind: “There is a child on this plane who will someday give me grandchildren.”  I was 34 years old and Margaret was 32. Grandchildren were the farthest thing from our minds. At that moment, I teared up at that wonderful thought.

Before they were born, they were in my heart.

Continue reading →

(Joseph’s letter to his parents is in bold print. His thoughts to himself are in italics.)

Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Davidson

c/o Davidson Carpentry Shop

Nazareth of Galilee

Dear Mother and Father,

I promised I would write just as soon as we arrived in Bethlehem and got settled.

We’re here, but not quite settled yet.

There’s so much I want to tell you but can’t.  For one thing, I don’t dare tell you we’re in a stable where barnyard animals have been staying. We put in clean hay, but other than that, it’s not the most sanitary place in the world. Mother would freak out if she knew.

Here’s what happened.

As you predicted, Dad, the trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem was arduous. Whether she was walking or atop the donkey, poor Mary had a hard time of it. But you know my sweet wife. No way was she going to complain. After all, she’s the one who insisted that I bring her along.

In future years, people will look back at this event and wonder why in the world we brought Mary all the way from Nazareth to Bethlehem, and her almost due to give birth.  The answer is this is one strong young woman. She was bound and determined to be with her husband when the Child was born. And since I was required to make this trip, we just threw ourselves on the care of the Lord and started out.

Continue reading →

“…seal up the book until the end of time; many will run to and fro, and knowledge will increase.” (Daniel 12:4)

The only constant, they say, is change.

I remember this so vividly. I was seated in a meeting alongside the president of the local college.  Jim Strobel was always perfectly dressed, and today I noticed how sharp and crisp were the cuffs on his white dress shirts.

I said, “How do you get your cuffs like that?”

He said, “Like what?”

I pointed out the starched stiffness and white brilliance of his cuffs. And then showed him mine.

My cuffs were soft and looked as though they had hardly seen an iron.

Jim said, “I don’t know. They come back from the cleaners this way.”

The cleaners! Of course. He sends his shirts to the cleaners!

For years–ever since Margaret had started back to college and everyone had to pitch in on household chores–I had done my own dress shirts. Not that it was that big a deal: spray something around the necks, toss them in the washer with detergent, move them to the dryer, and run an iron over them later and put them on hangers in the closet.

Anyone could do that.

For the past quarter-century, I have sent my shirts to the cleaners. Even the ones I wear around town have those stiff cuffs I once admired so much.

These days, I rarely give the cuffs a thought.

In just so tiny ways, life changes.

I’m 72 years old. That’s hard to say and harder to believe.  Last year I hit 30.  And the week before that, I was in college.

Life moves on.

I bought a car last week–a Honda CR-V, which is some kind of an SUV or hatchback or something.  Nothing about it was intended to be lavish or luxurious but something occurred to me.

Continue reading →

Observations on the home front and the front line (which, as it turns out, happen to be the same place: my front porch)–

1) Fourth year into retirement and all is well.

In the final year or two of employment, the prospect of being unemployed and thus without income or steady ministry was a matter of concern to me.  I didn’t obsess over it, did not lie awake at night, and did not bug my friends about it. But I talked to the Lord on numerous occasions. And he answered.

He gave me the same word He had given to the Tribe of Levi in Old Testament days: “I am your portion.”

Continue reading →

“See that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.” (Colossians 2:8)

Recently a seminary student I know–a young man preparing for the ministry–wrote on a paper, “The only thing I really fear is zombies.”

I wrote back, “You fear zombies?Zombies??”

Hey friend, I have a message for you: Zombies. Do. Not. Exist.

Someone made them up. The nonsense about “the walking dead” might make for interesting story lines for books and movies–I said “might”–but they are the figment of someone’s imagination, and nothing else.

Neither do wooden puppets take on human personalities and kill the people around them. On full moons, certain men do not become werewolves. And old Plymouths do not suddenly come alive, leave the junkyard, and run over everyone in their path.

Stephen King and others like him are toying with their readers. They are doing one thing and it’s such a big thing, I’m surprised that all theists (God-believers) haven’t figured it out yet and been complimented: They are imagining how things would be in this world if God were not alive, on the throne, and in control, and evil was allowed to run amok.

Such story-lines are a back-handed compliment to God.

Continue reading →

“…and to keep me from exalting myself, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh….” (II Corinthians 12:7)

Hurricane Sandy is taking dead aim at the most populous region of the USA.  This Monday morning’s news says the hurricane is one thousand miles across, that 50 million people are in its path, and the storm damage could amount to $80 billion (that’s with a B).

It may be safe to say there has never been a storm to hit this country like Sandy.

This may be the hurricane that erases Katrina from everyone’s memory.

God help us. Lord, help all who are in the path of this monster storm.

Sunday morning’s headline in The (Baton Rouge) Advocate read “Road to Mars Paved In New Orleans.” The story behind that somewhat awkward opening tells of a recent gathering of scientists and businesses at NASA’s Michoud plant just east of the city “to get an update about the progress of the Space Launch System,” the program by which we will explore asteroids and Mars.

Big stuff, right?

The first launch would come in 2017, with the first manned mission projected for 2021.  Which, if you do the math, is not that far off. (It’s about the same as when JFK announced plans to “send a man to the moon in this decade,” and we pulled it off in 1968.)

Oh, man.

We can go to the moon, probably travel to Mars, and do a thousand other things. But when a storm arises out of the Caribbean and comes our way, we are completely at its mercy. All we can do is evacuate (“Mayor Bloomberg has ordered the mandatory evacuation of 375,000 people,” they announced this morning) or try to ride it out and hope for the best.

Continue reading →

Via The Baptist Message Online.

NEW ORLEANS – It’s a bold move, but if anyone can pull it off, Joe McKeever can.

Paying off its $290,000 loan in one year at Global Maritime Ministries, Southern Baptists’ port ministry in Southeast Louisiana, is a strategic plan that will launch new avenues of ministry, leaders say.

Philip Vandercook, executive director, said freeing up the $3,000-a-month mortgage payment will provide for more personnel, the center’s greatest need. Up to three new chaplains could be hired with the redirected funds.