His name was Emile Cailliet. In later life he became a professor at the University of Pennsylvania and then Princeton Theological Seminary. His story is so special, so well-loved, it has been told and retold over the years. If you question that, “google” his name. I googled “the book that understands me” and found versions of Cailliet’s story of all shapes and sizes, with one preacher even referring to him as “Emile Clay.”
Lately, I’ve been downsizing my library and tossing out superfluous, dated files. in running across this blessed story of Emile Cailliet, I knew it had to be retold here for the benefit of those encountering it for the first time.
Cailliet was born in a small French town, received an education that “was naturalistic to the core,” and grew up a pagan. He did not lay eyes on a Bible until he was 23 years old. As a lad of 20, he fought on the front lines of World War I and saw atrocities unspeakable. If he had been an atheist before the horrors of that war, his unbelief was now set in stone.
When a German bullet felled Cailliet, an American field ambulance crew saved his life. In time, his badly shattered arm was fully restored during a 9 month hospital stay. While recovering, he married a Scotch-Irish lass he had met in Germany just before the war. She was a deeply committed Christian. Cailliet later said, “I am ashamed to confess that she must have been hurt to the very core of her being as I made it clear that religion would be taboo in our home.”
Emile informed his wife that no Bible would ever be allowed in their home. And yet, he found himself longing for meaning in life. In his reading — and he was a voracious reader — he went through everything he could find to satisfy the yearnings of his heart and soul. He said, “I had been longing for a book that would understand me.”
A book that would understand me.
Unable to find such, Cailliet decided to prepare one of his own. Over the next few years, he filled a leatherbound pocket book with significant quotations he discovered in his reading. “The quotations, which I numbered in red ink for easier reference, would lead me as it were from fear and anguish, through a variety of intervening stages, to supreme utterances of release and jubilation.”
At least, that was the plan.
Finally, the day arrived when Emile Cailliet put the finishing touches on his book, the “book that would understand me.” He walked outside the house, sat down under a tree, looked around at the bright blue sky, and opened his precious anthology. This was going to be a great experience.
“As I went on reading, however, a growing disappointment came over me.” Far from speaking to his life and situation, the various quotations simply reminded Cailliet of their context, of where he had found them, and nothing more.
“I knew then that the whole undertaking would not work, simply because it was of my own making.” Dejected, he put the book back in his pocket.
He had no idea what to do then. But God did.
God was up to something at that exact moment.
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