It’s getting easier and easier to love those old people!

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Two newspaper articles mysteriously appeared on my desk.  Where they have been hiding until now, I couldn’t begin to say. But I know why I kept them. They are both golden.

The first came from USA Today for March 30, 2004.

Robert Lipsyte, who is identified as a journalist and author of a young-adult novel, Warrior Angel, is writing about the way we only realize the value of the elderly in times of crisis.

Robert Lipsyte writes, Whenever disaster strikes–from illness in the family to carnage on the evening news–I call my dad. In 1963, when President John F. Kennedy was murdered, I called Dad to make sure he was OK. After all, the old man was pushing 60. I called him after 9/11 to make sure I was OK. After all, I was in my 60s. Being a frequent subway rider in New York, I even called him after the recent train bombings in Madrid, which killed 190 people. I knew he would calm me down. After all, he’s pushing 100.

Pushing 100. Lipsyte’s article says the Census Bureau tells us this country can point to more than 50,000 citizens of that age or better. “The so-called oldest old (over 85) are the fastest growing segment of the population. If we’re lucky, the rest of us will become them.”

Oh my.  I’m now among the oldest old.  (I turned 85 last March.)

The other article comes from the Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal of Tupelo, also from 2004, only two days earlier. A medical doctor, Joe Bailey, is paying tribute to the M.D. who influenced his life. It’s a story for the ages.

The Bailey family were farmers, Dr. Joe says, but since his mother refused to live anywhere but in town, they lived in Coffeeville, MS, population 600. Their home was precisely across the street from the town doctor, H. O. Leonard.

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How to use humor in a sermon and not dishonor the Lord or offend your congregation

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Watch this.  This is how it’s done.

Robert Mueller was giving a commencement address at the College of William and Mary.  This former director of the FBI in the first Bush administration is the epitome of dignity and class.  He is anything but a comic or comedian.  That day, speaking on “Fidelity, Bravery, and Integrity,” which he called the motto of the Bureau, he showed us a great way to use humor in a serious talk.

“In one of my first positions with the Department of Justice, more than thirty years ago, I found myself head of the Criminal Division in the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Boston.  I soon realized that lawyers would come into my office for one of two reasons: either to ‘see and be seen’ on the one hand, or to obtain a decision on some aspect of their work, on the other hand.  I quickly fell into the habit of asking one question whenever someone walked in the door, and that question was ‘What is the issue?’

“One evening I came home to my wife, who had had a long day teaching and then coping with our two young daughters.  She began to describe her day to me.  After just a few minutes, I interrupted, and rather peremptorily asked, ‘What is the issue?’

“The response, as I should have anticipated, was immediate.  ‘I am your wife,’ she said. ‘I am not one of your attorneys. Do not ever ask me ‘What is the issue?’  You will sit there and  you will listen until I am finished.’ And of course, I did just that.”

Mueller went on to say how he was learning–from his wife among others–how to be still and listen, truly listen, before making a judgment.

His was not a funny story as such.  But it got a great laugh from the entire crowd, and became a great illustration for you and me today.

In his story, he is the goat.  He did something foolish and his wife called his hand on it. He conceded that she was in the right and he in the wrong.

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When we backslide, a dozen things happen. All of them bad.

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“The way of the transgressor is hard” (Proverbs 13:15)  

What started this was a note from a fellow who took issue with something I said about the church.  He had no use for the church, he said. Every church he’d ever attended preached a shallow message, the sermons were mind-numbingly boring, and the people were dull and listless.  After venting, he wondered if I’d be interested in some essays he’d written about the church.  (Would it surprise you to know I declined?)

In our exchange, I said, “Could I tell you something that happened to me?  Even though I’ve been preaching for over half a century, at least twice during that time, I have gotten out of fellowship with the Lord.  What we call “backsliding.”

And when that happened, I noticed something surprising.  I became negative about my fellow church members and critical of the other ministers.  Then, when I humbled myself and repented, I saw them in a new light and found myself loving them. That was a fascinating thing to learn.

This was as gentle a way as I could find to tell the man that my money is on his being in rebellion against God. In his backslidden state, he is understandably down on the Lord’s people.

Backsliding.  Interesting term, isn’t it?  It says what it is, and needs little explanation.

You’re saved, you love the Lord, you’re doing well, and then you fall into sin one way or the other. Perhaps you slipped or you plunged headfirst, knowing full well what you were doing.

Now, look at you.  God seems so far away, and the closeness you once had with Him is only a distant memory.

You remember with longing when you felt so close to the Lord, so clean and pure, and so happy in Him.  You delighted in reading His word and perhaps in teaching it.  You loved gathering with the Lord’s people and singing the hymns and praying together.

But not now.

You are miserable.  You put up a false front and act like all is well. But something in your heart has died. The light has gone out.

What’s wrong?  You have fallen into sin.  The joy has disappeared, replaced by guilt and anger.

A backslidden state is a miserable place to visit but a terrible place to live.

When this happens, a hundred things take place in your life.  None of them good.  Here’s my short list of the bad things that occur when we are backslidden….

1) The rebel is holding Jesus in contempt. 

The Lord takes your rejecting Him personally. Your turning to sin is an insult.

When Israel fell away in Old Testament days, the Lord sounding like a spurned lover, said, “What fault did you find in me? What did the idols offer which I cannot give?” (cf.Jeremiah 2:5)

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Thankfully, Peter did not walk a mile on water. Here’s why.

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“But seeing the wind, Peter became afraid and beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Save me, Lord!’ And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him….” (Matthew 14:30-31).

You’ve seen the video of the Boston Red Sox first baseman letting that World Series game-winning single run through his legs. It’s iconic.

It was the 1986 World Series and the player was Bill Buckner.

Had Buckner caught that ball and stepped on first base, the game would have been over and the Red Sox would have ended that so-called curse a full fifteen or twenty years earlier than they did.  Ask the Buckner family.  The video has run a zillion times on Youtube and in the minds of the fans.  They have enshrined his failure.  Most Red Sox fans forget all the thousands of put-outs Buckner made at first base, the hits he got, the runs he produced.

That is how the Apostle Peter must have felt.

Think of Simon Peter walking on the water to Jesus that night when the winds howled and the sea raged and far from being impressed–as one would think we should be!–we see only that he took his eyes off Jesus and put them on the wave, and began to sink.  As though we would have done better!

Actually, we should be glad Peter did that.  Yes, we should rejoice that he walked those few steps on the Galilee and yes, we should be impressed.  But everything inside me gives thanks that after that, Peter had a problem with what he was doing and messed it up.

Just imagine…

Suppose Peter had spent 30 minutes or an hour outside the boat, walking and then dancing and then pirouetting across the sea!

Get that picture in your mind’s eye.  At first, he walks hesitantly toward Jesus.  Then, more confidently.  And then he gets the hang of it and strides more confidently.  And finally, he’s jumping and running and bouncing.

“Peter, that’s enough.  You can come in now.”  The Lord had to call him inside, to get back in the boat with the rest of the disciples and to settle down.

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What it means to magnify your ministry

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Say to Archippus, ‘Take heed to the ministry which you have received in the Lord, that you may fulfill it” (Colossians 4:17).

“I magnify my ministry” (Romans 11:13).  

The opposite of magnifying your ministry would be minimizing it.

Ever see anyone do that? What would that look like?

I don’t want to focus on answering that question, but want to interject here that the enemy of the Lord Jesus loves to minimize the ministries of those God calls.  We know that and we deal with it.  The tragedy is seeing someone minimizing their own ministry.  Doing the devil’s work for him.

Not real smart.  Let’s not do that.

Let’s focus on MAGNIFYING your ministry.  Making much of it.

Remember how Solomon prayed as he took office?  He said to the Lord, Your servant is in the midst of Your people whom You have chosen, a great people who are too many to be numbered or counted.  So give Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people…. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours? (That’s First Kings 3.)

He’s humbling himself, as he prayed, “I am but a little child” (I Kings 3:7). But he is also magnifying his ministry.

–They are God’s people.

–They are a great people, too many to count.

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The Lord is roughest with His best people.

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“O you of little faith!  Why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31).

“Whom the Lord loveth, He chasteneth” (Hebrews 12:6).  

The teacher is hardest on the best pupils.

The Master Teacher is hardest on the Star Pupil.

The coach is in the face of the player with the greatest potential, on his back, never letting up.

Check out these words from the Lord Jesus.  Get behind me, Satan.  You are a stumbling block to me; for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s (Matthew 16:23).

He said those harsh, cutting words, not to the Pharisees, but to Simon Peter, His “star apostle.”

Simon Peter–the disciple with the most potential, the one Jesus renamed as “Rock.”  He called Peter a satan, meaning adversary, a moment after commending him for his confession that “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God” (Matthew 16:16).  When Peter said that, the Lord said, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for flesh and blood did not reveal this to you, but my Father who is in heaven.”

Called him blessed one moment and turns right around and calls him a devil.

What’s going on here?

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The pastor was wronged by a search committee. What can he do?

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My friend stirred up a furor.

Writing on Facebook, my friend Stan told of a pastor search committee that has just angered him by their treatment of a wonderful young pastor.

As he told it, the committee and the pastor met on several occasions, they heard him preach numerous times, and it was clear to all that “this was of God.” The process worked itself out over several months. The committee voted unanimously that this pastor was their choice.  The pastor himself agreed.

All was well, it seemed.

And then one day, the chairman phoned the pastor. “I have bad news,” he said.  “While everyone is unanimous that you are our choice for the church, however, when we voted on bringing your name before the church as our recommendation, two members of the committee voted ‘no.’”

The vote was 7 for and 2 against.

The two ‘nay-sayers’ on the committee told the rest of the group that while they loved the pastor-candidate and agree he seems to be “the one” God is leading them to, “We just don’t want to go with the first person we talked to.”

They wanted it to be a popularity contest.  Find out “who else is out there.”

Since search committees are expected to bring only unanimous recommendations before the church, the chairman felt he had no choice but to accept his committee’s actions and shut down their dealings with that pastor.

You can imagine how the pastor felt after hanging up the phone.  Disappointment.  Anger perhaps.  Frustration. Puzzlement.

There was nothing the pastor could do about this.  He was at the mercy of the committee.

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First two chapters of our book SIXTY AND BETTER: Making the Most of Our Golden Years

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What follows is the first two chapters of our book SIXTY AND BETTER: Making the Most of Our Golden Years.  At the end, we’ll tell how to order the book.

CHAPTER ONE: (also known as the introduction)

I was sitting at home in front of the television one night.  The phone rang.  A voice said, “Sir, “I’m conducting a survey of people’s television-watching habits.  It’ll only take three minutes.”  I said, “Go ahead.”

“First,” he said, “What group are you in: 25 and under, 25 to 35, 35 to 45, 45 to 55, or 55 and up?”

I said, “That one.”

He said, “Which one?”

I said, “55 and up.”

Click.

He was gone.

It felt like the perfect illustration of the value our culture places on the older generation.  You’re old?  You don’t count.  You’re a senior?  Leave the game.  You’re elderly?  Is there someone else available?

But 55?  Yikes.  My oldest child Neil is that age.  If he’s over the hill, what does that make me, his dad?

Our culture wants to take the most seasoned veterans in the room and mute them.  To disarm the warriors who have fought life’s battles and stood the test of the years.

Not real smart.

Fortunately, you and I do not ask the world what role it wants us to play.  We do not get our self-esteem from a poll or survey.  We do not go up and down the street and question our neighbors on whether we should have a voice in today’s world.

We were created in the image of God.  We were redeemed by the Lord Jesus Christ.  We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.

And none of that is up for a vote, friend.

Garson Kanin’s It Takes A Long Time To Become Young –which I read years ago and was never able to forget–was prompted by his alarm at how older people were being treated by businesses, lawmakers, and society as a whole. And, while we agree with his concern and applaud efforts to end what is called “ageism,” that is not the thrust of our little volume.

What concerns us–and hopefully bothers our readers–is seeing a lot of older people do that very thing to themselves.  They marginalize themselves because they are getting up in years.  They dismiss their importance because they’ve managed to hang on (and hang around) longer than many of their peers.

Think of the irony of that.  They’ve been successful in living and working and holding on and as a result they lose their self-esteem?  They conclude they no longer matter because they won the lottery?

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How to tell if you are growing in Christ

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Early coal miners carried canaries into the deep pits with them as indicators of the presence of methane gas. The bird would die long before the gas posed a problem for the miners. If the bird died, they ran for their lives.

We could all use a few canaries in our spiritual lives, to warn us when we were on dangerous ground as well as to assure us when we were doing well.

Here are four harbingers–four canaries, four indicators–that inform the believer that he actually is growing in the Lord. 

1. We will grow increasingly disgusted with the old life we left behind, and less attracted by it.

Consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry (Colossians 3:5).

But now, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. Do not lie to one another…. (Colossians 3:8-9).

2. We will be more and more Christlike but the last to know it.

And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another…just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you (Colossians 3:12-13).

There’s a fascinating irony that goes on here. As you grow in the Lord, eventually someone will say that you are the most Christlike person they know. You will laugh at the very idea. No one knows better than you how far you still have to go.

Actually, they’re right. You are becoming more and more like Jesus. But you are the last to know. Why? The closer we get to the light, the more imperfections we see.

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When the salt of the earth needs sweetening

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While researching a subject on-line, I found myself reading some attacks on ministers from fellow ministers. These men of God, assuming that’s what they are and I’m not saying one way or the other, were taking no prisoners.

“That pastor is a liar!” “Preachers lie to you when they say….” “Ten lies preachers tell you.” “That preacher is an agent of hell!”

It was painful.

When those sent by the Father as shepherds of His sheep use such blistering rhetoric, we fail our assignments in numerous ways: we dishonor the Lord, shame the church, needlessly slander our brethren, set poor examples for the people in the pew, and we hold the gospel up to ridicule by the world.

How about a little sweetening, I wonder. And then I remember something.

A friend says there are two kinds of preachers: those who enter the ministry whole and those who enter in order to become whole.

Give me the first kind any day of the week. The second group can be scary and dangerous.

The second group, I believe, is composed largely of ministers with bad mental health.

Here is what bad mental health looks like in the pulpit on a Sunday morning—

1) It’s mean-spirited.

One text you will never hear such a preacher proclaiming is Colossians 3:12: “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly beloved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

Somewhere along the way these caustic preachers became convinced that their task on Sundays is to “open the wound and pour on the salt.” They are harsh, unloving, unkind, loud, and uncharitable. And they do it all in the name of the Lord.

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