Good things to say to a preacher’s wife (and why saying them is a good idea).

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The preacher’s wife (Marlene is not her real name) who suggested an article on 59 things NOT to say to a preacher’s wife ended by suggesting that we follow it with a positive piece listing good things to say to the wife of the minister.

Marlene got us started with this list:

I am praying for you. We love you.
Thank you sharing your husband with us.
Thank you for sharing your lives with us. We love you.
I do not want anything from you but friendship.
Let me help. We love you.
You have such great kids.
Let me know if you need anything. We love you.
I overheard this compliment.  “You are a success at (insert career
choice here).We love you.”
I really missed seeing you this morning.
How do you feel? We love you.
We appreciate what you bring to the church.
WE WOULD LOVE TO PUT YOU ON STAFF SO YOU CAN SERVE THE LORD
FULL TIME!!!!!!!

Those are all nice.

All right. That was Marlene’s list.

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What not to say to a preacher’s wife

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(I wish Margaret were here to help with this one.  As my wife of over 52 years and through our six pastorates covering 42 years, I suppose she heard it all.  As of January, 2015, she’s now resting in the arms of her Savior. In her memory and in her honor, I send this forth to encourage church members to bless this dear lady married to the shepherd whom God sent to your church.  Please see the disclaimer at the end.–Joe)

“Encourage one another and lift up one another….” (I Thessalonians 5:11, somewhat, and a favorite line in an old chorus)

“You cannot use my name.”

That’s how the typical private note from a preacher’s wife begins.

Marlene introduced herself as the wife of a pastor. She had come across our article from a year or more ago on “59 things not to say to a preacher.”  Back then, I had solicited input from Facebook friends and ended up with that number of comments which preachers do not need to hear and which affect them negatively.  The article got a good bit of play and drew more than a fair share of controversial reactions.

Preachers loved the list. And so did their wives, incidentally.

There’s a lot of hurt out there.

Marlene appreciated the list, she said. But she added that I had quit early. We need a list of what not to say to the wife of a preacher.

So, I asked her to get me started.  Here is her reply:

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What lousy English says about us. (Nothing good.)

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I was sent the following email from someone trying to sell me a service….

Hi There,
I was sent you an mail regarding Web Listing hope you are found it.
This is an follow-up email for you, Interested in our proposal or not?

Let us know if you are interested, I am waiting here your valuable
reply.

I went back and read their original proposal to see if the same poor English was to be found there. It wasn’t.  Clearly, someone was hired to pretty up the original mailing, but the followup was done by the salesperson, if you will.

Not a good way to impress a prospective client.

Now.  I’m not interested in having my website be first to pop up on Google, as they were proposing.  Nothing about that interests me.

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How to liven up a dull worship service

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“In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord….” (Isaiah 6:1)

Have the Lord show up, and your worship will come alive like never before.

Ask Isaiah.  Ask the two Emaus-road disciples (Luke 24).  Ask the disciples who had retreated into the safety of the Upper Room when suddenly the risen Christ appeared (John 20:19ff).

Isaiah left the temple that day with a new calling upon his life.  The two disciples reversed their paths and rushed back to the city to tell everyone that Jesus was alive and had appeared to them.  As for the disciples, soon they removed the locks from the door of the Upper Room and lived in the streets and countryside–not to say the jails–as they told the world of Jesus.

A few moments in HIs presence will do that to a fellow.

No one is ever bored in the Lord’s presence.  No one has ever fallen asleep under His voice. No one emerges unchanged.

If Jesus is present, something is going to happen.

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If I could make one change in your church

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“My house shall be called a house of prayer for all the nations…” (Mark 11:17)

If the church asked me to suggest one thing that would make the greatest improvement in all they do, I would not hesitate.

I would make their worship center a house of prayer.

While that could involve a number of things, the most obvious change would take place in the worship service.

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Christmas Giving: 10 ways to transform your Christmas

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Those of us who love the Christmas season–I plead guilty!–often are in the market for ways to make it more meaningful.

I polled some friends and would like to share some of the results.

Give more. Give yourself.  Give the unexpected.  Give ten times as much as they expect.  Give more than ever before. 

Shop less.  Buy fewer.  Spend less.  Stress less.

Quit giving to the adults; give only to the children.

Give no more than 3 presents per child.

Emphasize the personal aspect.

Write more notes.  If you send Christmas cards, write personal notes on them.  Don’t be afraid to tell people you love them, even if you need to vary the verb and make it “I treasure you.”  (Or, cherish, adore, appreciate, or thank God for you)

Okay. Now, our ten ways to transform your Christmas season….

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You’re a pastor; you’re not like us.

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It was some forty years ago, and I was flying home from somewhere, the last leg of the trip being from Memphis to Columbus MS where I pastored.

It was a dark and stormy night.

And the planes assigned to our Golden Triangle Airport by Southern Airways were the ancient Martin 404s.  Prop jets, maybe they are called.

We bounced all over the sky that night. Lightning flashed around us, rain pelted our little plane, and thunder crashed.

You’ve heard of white-knucklers; this was the mother of them all.

The next day in the supermarket, a woman whom I did not know introduced herself. “My husband was on that awful flight from Memphis last night.”

Oh yes.  That was unforgettable, I said.

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Great and mighty things thou knowest not

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“Call to me, and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things which you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3).

God knows a zillion things we do not.

Let’s start with that no-brainer.

The overwhelming majority of “things God knows” are, I expect, reserved exclusively for Him. “The secret things belong to God,” we’re told in Deuteronomy 29:29. The farthest reaches of this enormous universe are seen and appreciated only by Him and His legions.  And the heavenly realm itself is His and His alone.

However.

The Heavenly Father has many things He is dying to show us, to reveal to us, to allow us to stumble upon, or learn in His classroom.

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Non-issues for God’s people

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“Keep back Thy servant from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me” (Psalms 19:13).

The latest non-issue was Starbuck’s red cups, said to be a substitute for anything Christmas-y.  As I heard it, some of the Lord’s people were enraged.

When we posted a note regarding the silliness of such (ahem) courageous convictions, several people pointed out there was no issue, that no one had actually slammed Starbucks over this.

Good.  They sell coffee, not Christianity.

Any day now–we’re posting this on November 20–we may expect to see Facebook pages devoted to supporting only commercial establishments that allow their employees to wish people a “Merry Christmas” as opposed to the generic “Happy holidays” or “Season’s greetings.”

The things God’s people make issues of.

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Envy: The malaise afflicting God’s people

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A friend asked, “Have you noticed that so many Christians seem to be discontented with their lot?  That they envy the rest of the world, and maybe even resent a little having to live like Jesus?”

If this is true–and I know enough of my own heart to suspect it is–it’s not a new phenomenon.  The condition has been with us from early on.

The malady was voiced perfectly by the Psalmist:

“I was envious of the boastful, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked” (Psalm 73:3).

You and I suspect the Psalmist may have been a bit too selective of the ungodly whom he chose to envy. But that’s how we do it, after all.

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