You are about to encounter some of this pastor’s and I suspect every pastor’s pet peeves. These are comments from church members that irk us, get our goat, try the limits of our patience, drive us up the wall–and a whole bunch of other metaphors for provoking us.
Ready? We’ll get right to it….
1) “I’m not being spiritually fed.”
2) “I have a right” or “I deserve….”
3) “Lord knows I’m not one to gossip but….”
4) “I’ve been paying my tithes for years and I think I’m entitled….”
5) “Sorry. I just don’t have a gift for that.”
6) “Why don’t they do something about that?”
7) “The pastor is a dictator.”
8) “Before we do that, let’s have a word of prayer.”
9) “There’s no use trying to talk to the preacher. He won’t listen to you.”
Some years back, Pastor (also Evangelist, Author, and a lot of other things) Jack Taylor wrote a book he titled “Which Being Interpreted Means.” His thinking was that, just as Scripture sometimes will give a Hebrew or Aramaic word and then tell the reader what it means, we should do that with a lot of expressions we use around the church. It was all tongue-in-cheek and a lot of fun.
Since Brother Jack had me illustrate this creative little book, I spent a lot of time with each point, so I remember a number of them.
A friend greets you with, “Hey, I’ve been praying for you.” That, being interpreted, usually means, “I haven’t prayed for you at all, but on seeing you just now I sent up a quick ‘Lord, bless this brother/sister!'”
Someone at church says, “The Lord just isn’t leading me to do that.” Which being interpreted means, “There is no way under God’s heaven I was planning to do that and nothing you say will ever change my mind!”
(I still see Jack’s book available from online book sources in case you’re interested in getting a copy.)
So, let’s apply the little “Which being interpreted means” rule to the above expressions which I hope to never hear in church again.
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