He introduced himself as Bryan, said he was from a church of our denomination in a town an hour away, and had read my article which ran in Rick Warren’s Pastor’s Toolbox. I asked which one.
“The one called ‘Dealing with Difficult People in Your Church’,” he said. “Remember it?”
“Oh, I do indeed. And that brought you here today?”
“In a way. My question to you, sir, is what if that difficult person is the pastor?”
“We didn’t address that possibility, did we?”
“No. You touched on some good points, and I don’t have any problem with that. You said there will be difficult people in every church, that God will use them to get the rough edges off our ministry, and that we should stay focused on the Lord, because ‘it’s not about you.’ How’s that?”
“I’m impressed. But, tell me about this difficult pastor.”
“He’s the obstacle to every creative idea anyone ever has. He refuses all counsel except his own. He insists on every decision going his way. When members come to him for counsel, he breaks their confidence by repeating what they told him. He pits friend against friend. I’ve even seen him turn a husband against his wife in order to protect his position.”
“Wow. This is heavy. He sounds like a nightmare.”
“That’s not the half of it,” Bryan said. “He talks out of both sides of his mouth, doesn’t mind lying to you, and misuses his position as pastor in order to excuse his family from sin.”
I said, “Bryan, you and I just met. So, you will understand my caution here. I’m going to be your counselor on this matter, but I’m not anyone’s judge. If things are as you say they are, this guy is a serious problem and needs to be removed, not only from your church, but from the ministry. But I assume he has his own version of this story.”
“I understand all you have is my word. I could have brought a dozen church leaders with me to back it up. But I didn’t come for you to pass judgment. I just wanted to get your opinion about what to do. It’s tearing our church up.”
“How has it affected things?”
“Attendance is down. Contributions are awful. People are demoralized. The staff is discouraged, and we’re thinking of getting our resumes out.”
“Bryan, has anyone tried to deal with this? Has he been confronted with his behavior?”
“We tried to obey the order in Matthew 18. But whenever anyone has gone to him privately or in twos or threes, he cuts off contact with them and ostracizes them from the church.”
“No doubt he says God called him to that church and he’s in charge.”
“Almost word for word, that’s what he says.”
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