10 lessons about leading the Lord’s church I’ve learned the hard way

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This is not the final list. I’m still learning.

Most of what follows about leading God’s church is counter-intuitive. Which is to say, it’s not what one might expect.

In no particular order….

One. Bigness is overrated.

“It doesn’t matter to the Lord whether He saves by the few or the many” (I Samuel 14:6).

Most pastors, it would appear, have wanted to lead big churches, wanted to grow their church to be huge, or wanted to move to a large church.  Their motives may be pure; judging motives is outside my skill set. But pastoring a big church can be the hardest thing you will ever try, and far less satisfying than you would ever think.

Small churches can be healthy too; behold the hummingbird or the honeybee.

Trying to get a huge church to change its way of thinking can be like turning around an ocean liner.  Even so, the Lord’s teachings about the mustard seed (see Matthew 13:31-32 and Luke 17:6) should forever disabuse us of the lust for bigness.

I will spare you the horror stories of pastors who have manipulated God’s people and lied about numbers in order to create the illusion of bigness.  Forgive us, Father!

Two. Lack of formal education in the preacher is no excuse.

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20 things pastors should not love too much

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“Do not be excessively righteous or overly wise” (Ecclesiastes 7:16).

I read somewhere that this was a favorite verse of Martin Luther, someone who apparently worried he would become too-religious-for-his-own-good.  No danger for most of us.

Here are some other areas you and I may want to be careful of…

One.  We should not be in love with the sound of our own voice.

The preacher who delights too much with his own voice will outtalk everyone in the room and drone on far longer in sermons than is wise.  Better to tame that critter, then put him to use in the service of the Lord.

Two. We should beware of loving those extra desserts.

More and more these days, the overweight preacher is the norm.  Sometimes the culprit is that he announced from the pulpit his favorite dessert to be lemon icebox pie or banana pudding, and now well-meaning church members keep him supplied.  Sometimes, it’s the church dinners where ladies bring a dozen or more home-made desserts that would tempt a saint.

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Why your pastor isn’t as good as those professional speakers

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On a website devoted to professional speakers, the author gave advice about “that great killer story you love to tell,” and then “the heart-rending windup.”  I imagine every speaker wants one each of those in his messages.

Then, the blogger dropped the bomb.

“After you get your speech down pat and you’ve given it a number of times and feel you’re effective, it’s time to start working on speech number two.”

I laughed out loud.

Speech number two?

These guys have one speech?  One???  And then, when all is going well, they add one more?

Pardon me while I sit down.

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My personal story about Dr. Billy Graham

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I was in a congregation of ministers at First United Methodist in Birmingham once in the early 70s when Billy Graham entered the room.  A shock wave moved across the auditorium.  It was amazing, and I had no explanation for it.

He was God’s man.  No question about it.

During the last years of the 1980s, I pastored Charlotte’s First Baptist Church and visited with Billy and Ruth Graham on several occasions.  His sister Catherine belonged to my church, along with her family.  Mostly, the Grahams and I shared a hospital waiting room while their friend and my congregant Dr. Grady Wilson was in surgery.   Once I handed them a notepad and asked them to write their favorite scripture verse and sign it.  That this was a presumptuous thing to do never entered my mind.

Billy jotted down “Psalm 16:11” and signed that familiar name.  I said, “I’ve quoted that verse for years as Billy Graham’s favorite.”  Ruth Bell Graham laughed and said, “My favorite keeps changing!” As I recall, she wrote Proverbs 3:8-13 and signed it. My secretary had those two notes framed and they hung in my office for years, until I donated them to a fundraiser for a New Orleans ministry.

In November of 1987, the entire Graham team came to our church for the celebration of Evangelist Grady Wilson’s life.  My funeral message that day was rebroadcast worldwide on the Hour of Decision radio program which was so popular for a generation or more.  (I’ve teased that I should put that on my resume!)

In those days I recall how people in Charlotte spoke about Billy’s mother.  Mrs. Graham had been such a powerful witness for Christ, they said, and they told of Bible studies she had led in the retirement home where she had lived her last days.

But my favorite BG story concerns our first meeting.

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Joe’s interview about spiritual maturity

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Let him who thinks he stands take heed, lest he fall. (I Corinthians 10:12)

When a friend texted to ask if he could interview me for some seminary assignment, I agreed. I laughed when he said the subject was spiritual maturity.

I said, “That is a lot like humility.  About the time you think you’ve achieved it, it’s a dead giveaway that you haven’t.”

Nevertheless, I agreed.  We met online yesterday for 45 minutes.  And this morning, for reasons that elude me, I decided to post a reasonable recap of the interview.

QUESTION:  ARE THERE UNIQUE CHALLENGES IN A MINISTER’S SPIRITUAL LIFE? 

How about that we speak for God?  Is that an assignment or what?  (See I Thessalonians 2:13.) The minister rises to speak and all eyes are on him.  For some, it’s a heady experience.  The expectations are enormous.  Some of which are self-imposed.

This “speaking for God” can be abused by the unscrupulous.  And it has been, unfortunately.

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Sometimes the bully pastor gets a comeuppance

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My friend Dave was pastoring a small church in a deep southern town while living some miles away in the city. During the week, he worked at the health department.

One day, his church leadership requested that Dave get ordained. He passed the request on to his home church pastor in the city.

The pastor said, “Dave, anyone in particular you want to preach your ordination?” Dave couldn’t think of anyone. “I’ll leave that to you,” he said.

The night of the big event, Dave entered the church sanctuary and spotted a colleague from the health department. As they exchanged greetings, the friend said, “Uh, Dave. Have you seen who’s preaching your service tonight?” He hadn’t.

As soon as he laid eyes on the featured preacher, Dave stood there in shock.

That preacher was a retired pastor who lived in the city. Only a few weeks before, Dave had served him with official papers demanding that he take care of some health issues on his property or face legal action. The preacher had defiantly cursed David out, creating quite a spectacle.

“He did take the remedial action we demanded, however,” Dave told me.

But even so. Such behavior from a man of God.

And now, the preacher who cursed David out is now about to preach his ordination service.

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What the guy in the pew wishes his pastor knew about prayer

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A typical worship service will be hemmed in by two prayers, the invocation and the benediction. In between may come a pastoral prayer, an offertory prayer, and occasionally an intercession involving some specific need. Some of those will be voiced by staffers or deacons, but most will belong to you, the pastor.

Pastor, could we talk about how you pray in the services?  The fellow sitting in the pews asked if I would say a word to you about how you pray.  Seriously.

Now, in many cases, he seems to have abandoned hope that you might invigorate your prayers with fresh thoughts and uplifting praise and strong intercessions. But, if I were a wagering man, I’d bet that the laity who read this will connect with it in a heartbeat.

What the guy in the pew wishes his pastor knew about his public prayers….

1) Remember that you are praying with me and for me.

This is not your private prayer time, pastor. You are voicing a prayer on behalf of the congregation. Therefore, say “We” and “our,” and not “I” and “my.”

At some point in recent history, some misguided influencer-of-preachers convinced them that no one can voice a prayer for someone else and that when you pray in public, you should use the first person singular pronoun. “I make my prayer in Jesus’ name, amen.”

My response is that this would be news to Jesus. He taught us to pray, “Our Father…give us…forgive us…lead us….”

So, make your prayers on behalf of the entire congregation. What are they feeling, where are they hurting, what do they need? What has God impressed you to request on behalf of your congregation? Then pray that.

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Congregational phobia: The preacher’s occupational hazard

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“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

Did you see in the news where a schoolteacher is trying to get approved for medical disability because she fears the students in her class?  The anxiety is so strong that she is unable to function, she says.

If she is able to pull this off, watch as plenty of teachers as well as practitioners of other professions jump on that bandwagon.  I can see it now: doctors who fear their patients, parents who fear their children, drill sergeants with a morbid dread of recruits–all will be able to go home and start drawing their pay.

Someone told me about his pastor the other day. His first analysis was that his preacher is simply lazy. He preaches one sermon a week and often gets someone to fill in for him. He canceled the midweek service because so few people were coming, and turned over the Sunday night service to a layman. He moved his study into his home, but cannot be reached by phone because he turns his phone off and studies wearing headphones which bring in music.

As we chatted further, the man said, “This is the pastor’s first senior pastor position. Previously, he was a youth minister. I’ve noticed he has a great anxiety about facing the congregation on Sunday morning.”

Congregational phobia. There it is.

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Half right, totally wrong: Shallow things religious people believe

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But as for you, speak the things which are proper for sound doctrine.  –Titus 2:1 

We hear them all the time.  Something about these oft-repeated claims just does not seem right, we think.  Here are a few that have occurred to me. You’ll know others….

One. “Christianity is not a religion;  it’s a relationship.”

Sounds right, but it’s wrong.  Ask yourself one question:  As a follower of Jesus–by which I mean in a relationship with Him–would it be all right if I joined a religion and became a Buddhist or Taoist or a Jew or a Muslim? After all, as a Christian I’m not in a religion as such (according to this thinking) and there would be no reason not to.   Of course, those religions are incompatible with the way of Jesus Christ and that’s why we counsel believers to avoid them.

“The way of Jesus Christ”?  We call that The Christian Religion.

Friend, if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, well….

A religion may be defined as a systemized practice of worship involving a God, a place or places of worship, a system of beliefs, and in most cases exclusivity (that is, it claims to hold The Truth).

Sure sounds like the Christian faith to me.

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And now a special word to you who love to read. And you who do not!

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“Write this down,” said God to Moses and various prophets, as recorded in Holy Scripture.  If He wanted His story written, God surely intended it to be read.

The sharpest people you know are readers; the dullest never crack a book.  My parents both read constantly. There was never a time in my growing up years when we did not take the newspaper, and sometimes more than one. In 2007, when God took our Dad the family had to cancel a half dozen subscriptions to magazines he was taking.  He was nearly 96.

At the moment, my bedside table holds books on history, politics, music, and westerns.  Every couple of weeks I go through those I’ve read and ship some off to family or make a delivery to Goodwill.  Otherwise, we would be running over with books around here.

And I love it.

In her book, Leadership in Turbulent Times, historian Doris Kearns Goodwin tells how several presidents came to develop their gifts for influencing others and leading the nation.  Early on, with Abraham Lincoln, there was a love for books.

Left on his own, Abraham had to educate himself.  He had to take the initiative, assume responsibility for securing books, decide what to study, become his own teacher.  He made things happen instead of waiting for them to happen. Gaining access to reading material proved nearly insurmountable.  Relatives and neighbors recalled that Lincoln scoured the countryside to borrow books and read every volume “he could lay his hands on.” A book was his steadfast companion.  Every respite from the daily manual tasks was a time to read a page or two from Pilgrim’s Progress or Aesop’s Fables, pausing while resting his horse at the end of a long row of planting. 

Then, Goodwin says about his technique:

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