Pastor, those scars on your soul are blessed of God

I bear in my body the brand-marks of Jesus.  Galatians 6:17.

We all do.

I suppose it’s a vocational hazard.

We preachers walk through the valley of the shadow with people in the church and out of it. We give them our best, weep with them, tell what we know, and offer all the encouragement we can. Then, we go on to the next thing. Someone else is needing us.

That family we ministered to, however, does not go on to anything. They are forever saddled with the loss of that child or parent. They still carry the hole in their heart and return to the empty house or sad playroom. However, there is one positive thing they will always carry with them.

They never forget how the pastor ministered to them.

He forgets.

Not because he meant to, but because after them, he was called to more hospital rooms, more funeral homes, and more counseling situations. He walked away from that family knowing he had a choice: he could leave a piece of himself with them–his heart, his soul, something–or he could close the door on that sad room in his inner sanctum in order to be able to give of himself to the next crisis.

If he leaves a piece of himself with every broken-hearted family he works with, pretty soon there’s nothing left.

So he turns it off when he walks away. He goes on to the next thing.

He hates doing that. But it’s a survival thing. It’s the only way to last in this kind of tear-your-heart-out-and-stomp-that-sucker ministry.

Case in point.

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Pastors, be above reproach. Here’s what that means.

It’s a hard lesson to learn in life, but fans of athletes and singers, actors and other television celebrities, would do well to adjust their expectations downward concerning the personal, private lives of those individuals.

The lives of very few superstars in any category will bear close inspection.

Life keeps trying to teach us this lesson, but so many in our society refuse to learn the lesson. So we are devastated when we learn the inner secrets and hidden activities of a Tiger Woods, a Michael Jackson, or an Edward Kennedy.

The reason we go on getting disappointed in such revelations is that we keep expecting other people to be better than they are.

And perhaps better than we are.

I was 18 years old when this lesson hit me up side the head. As a college freshman in Georgia and more than a little homesick, I was glad when I saw that a certain Southern gospel quartet was coming to nearby Rome for a concert. I had grown up singing their songs and had attended two or three of their programs, so this was like a little touch of home. I knew the personnel of the group and could sing most of their material along with them.

That’s why I decided to do what I did.

I left the campus early that Friday afternoon and took the bus into town.

I had decided I would hang out at the auditorium and help the quartet unload and setup. I would meet them personally, and wouldn’t that be special.

It was. In a way. The bus pulled up and my celebrities got out. They were glad to have an able-bodied youth to help carry boxes of records and set up tables. For a half-hour, I sweated alongside these singers who were the only stars in my small firmament.

And they were nice to me. No complaints there. They may have given me a record or two or maybe a free pass to the program, I don’t recall.

The one thing I do recall is the cursing.

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Your own personal parable

We have all had defining stories happen in our families and our personal lives that would make great teaching parables. They are interesting stories in themselves but they also serve as vehicles which we can load with spiritual truths and deliver to our people.

Most congregations might enjoy this kind of a diversion in your preaching. (But, everything inside me cries, “Don’t overdo it!!!”)

By the way.  We generally think of “parables” as stories made up to convey a point.  What I’m talking about here–and which I’m calling your own personal parables–are true stories.  Might need to find a different term for them. Anyway….

Here are three examples–

One.  Eugene Peterson, in his book on the Psalms, “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction,” gives one of his own parables.

He begins, “An incident took place a few years ago that has acquired the force of a parable for me.”

Peterson was in a hospital room, recovering from minor surgery on his nose which had been broken years earlier in a basketball game. The pain was great and he was in no mood for fellowship.

The young man in the next bed wanted to chat. Peterson brushed him off–his name was Kelly–but overheard him telling his visitors that evening that “the fellow in the next bed is a prizefighter. He got his nose broken in a championship fight.” Kelly proceeded to embellish it beyond that.

Later, after the company had left, Peterson told him what had actually happened and they got acquainted. When Kelly found out he was a pastor, he wanted nothing more to do with him and turned away.

The next morning, Kelly shook Peterson awake. His tonsillectomy was about to take place and he was panicking. “I want you to pray for me!” He did, and they wheeled him to surgery.

After he returned from surgery, Kelly kept ringing for the nurse. “I hurt. I can’t stand it. I’m going to die.”

“Peterson!” he kept calling, “Pray for me. Can’t you see I’m dying? Pray for me.”

The staff held him down and quietened him and after a while all was well.

Peterson writes, “When the man was scared, he wanted me to pray for him, and when the man was crazy he wanted me to pray for him, but in between, during the hours of so-called normalcy, he didn’t want anything to do with a pastor. What Kelly betrayed ‘in extremis’ is all many people know of religion: a religion to help them with their fears but that is forgotten when the fears are taken care of….”

Here’s a second parable. John Ortberg tells this in his book “The Life You’ve Always Wanted.”

Tony Campolo was about to speak at a Pentecostal college chapel service. Eight men from the school took him into an off room to pray for him. They knelt around him, laid hands upon him, and began besieging heaven.

That was good, except they prayed a long time. And as prayed, they grew tired. And as they tired, they began to lean more and more on Campolo. Eventually, he was bearing the weight of all eight of them!

To add insult to injury, one guy was not even praying for Tony.

He was interceding for somebody named Charlie Stoltzfus. “Dear Lord, you know Charlie Stoltzfus. He lives in that silver trailer down the road a mile. You know the trailer, Lord, just down the road on the right hand side.”

Tony thought about informing the guy that the Lord did not need directions to find Charlie Stoltzfus.

“Lord,” the man continued, “this morning Charlie told me he’s going to leave his wife and three kids. Step in and do something, God. Bring that family back together.”

Finally the prayers ended, Tony was able to stand to his feet, they had the chapel service, and he got in his car to drive home. Just as he was merging onto the Pennsylvania Turnpike, he noticed a hitchhiker on the side of the road and decided to give him a ride.

As they rode along, Tony introduced himself. The man stuck out his hand and said, “My name is Charlie Stoltzfus.”

Tony could not believe his ears.

At the next exit, Tony left the interstate and turned the car around. As they returned to the interstate, Charlie said, “Hey mister–where are you taking me?”

Tony said, “I’m taking you home.”

He said, “Why?”

Campolo said, “Because you just left your wife and three kids, right?”

The man was stunned. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I did.”

He moved over against the door and never took his eyes off Campolo.

Then, when Tony drove the car right into the guy’s yard, that really did it.

His eyes bulged out. He said, “How did you know I live here?”

“The Lord told me.” (He did, Tony insists, but not the way the guy thought.)

The trailer door threw open and Charlie’s wife ran out. “You’re back! You’re back!”

Charlie whispered in her ear what had happened. The more he talked, the bigger her eyes got.

Campolo relates this story and adds, “Then I said with real authority, ‘The two of you sit down. I’m going to talk and you two are going to listen!’ And man, did they listen!”

That afternoon, he led those two young people to the Lord.

That’s a story, a real one, and a parable from which Tony Campolo draws all kinds of spiritual lessons.

What’s your parable?

Your parable is a story that has happened to you. It’s yours and no one else’s. You tell it better than anyone on earth. You are the authority on it.

Third.  Our family has a parable of our own, one we call the banana story.

I must have been 9 years old. Mom was seriously ill in the hospital in Beckley, West Virginia, and our coal miner Dad was left to look after the six children ranging in ages from 5 to 14. That Saturday morning, he had shopped for groceries at the company store, then took Glenn, the 13 year old, with him to visit Mom at the hospital.

That morning, Dad had bought a dozen bananas and left them atop the refrigerator. When he returned from the hospital, there was not a banana in the house. Dad was furious.

He called the five of us children in for an accounting.

For all but one of us, this was the first we had heard of the missing bananas. Obviously one had eaten them, but it wasn’t me and I was pretty sure it was not my sisters, Patricia 11, and Carolyn, 7. That left the 5 year old, Charlie, and the 14 year old, Ronnie.

It did not take a Sherlock Holmes to conclude Ronnie was the culprit. But why Pop did not figure this out, we never knew.

Dad announced that if the guilty party did not step forward, he was going to whip all five of us. And when he gave a whipping, it was a milestone in your life, something you would never forget.

Dad’s weapon of choice was the mining belt, some four inches wide and a half-inch think. It left a red path across your body.

The younger children started crying immediately. But Dad had no compassion. That day, he whipped all five of us.

He never did find out who had eaten the bananas.

Well, not for many years. From time to time, after we were grown and would all be together, someone would bring up the case of the purloined bananas. Finally, we must have been in our 30s, Ronnie owned up to it.

“A friend and I had come in and we saw those bananas,” he said. They ate one each, then another, and pretty soon there were none left. “I was going to admit it until I saw how mad Pop was.”

He said, “I figured better to spread the whipping out among five than take all of it on myself.”

No one agreed with that judgment, you will not be surprised to know.

Before making the application–all parables must have appropriate applications and lessons, otherwise they’re meaningless stories–let me point out that our Dad mellowed over the years and developed far more compassion than he showed that day. My assessment is that he was under enormous stress. Mom was not far from the point of death, we were to find out later, and his fear had to be incredible.

My dad was a conservative in a hundred ways. A conservative would rather punish four innocent people than let one guilty go free. A liberal, on the other hand, would rather allow four guilty to go free than punish one innocent person.

That’s my application of that story, and when I’ve used it in a sermon, it was as an introduction to preaching about liberals and conservatives (the Sadducees and Pharisees in the New Testament).

Of course, our brother Ron, a Baptist preacher in Birmingham, had forever stigmatized himself by that banana incident. When he turned 70, we all met him and his wife Dorothy at a Birmingham restaurant. As we walked in, each one of us was carrying a dozen bananas. He takes it in good humor and we all laugh at it now.

What’s your story, your parable?  If you cannot think of one, ask your siblings, your children, your spouse.  Because every family has them.

The awesomeness of handling the Word of God

“…rightly dividing the Word of truth” (2 Timothy 2:15).

The other day I posted this on Facebook…

Ever wonder how pastors deal with Sunday morning anxiety?  They’re about to enter the pulpit and lead a congregation to worship the living God, then open His book and declare its life-changing message.  What a responsibility!  How do they cope with so great a burden? I’ll tell you how. They breathe deeply, commit it all to the Lord, and keep telling themselves, ‘Relax, hotshot. This is not about you.‘  —  Most have to say it about 150 times before the message gets through.  For some, 600 repeititons are required. And alas, some never get the message and approach this most solemn of responsibilities thinking it’s all about them.

That generated some response.  And one in particular that resonated with me.

A friend expressed concern for those who cope with “the burden and fear of handling the word of God.”

Right.  Handling the Word of God is both a burden and a fear.

Standing before groups large and small or even individuals and opening God’s Word is a privilege, an opportunity, a responsibility, and a lot of other things. But it’s also a burden and a fear.

We must never take this lightly.  Lives hang in the balance.

The burden of the Lord.

Old Testament prophets would sometimes begin their assignment by announcing “The burden of the Lord” (e.g., Nahum 1:1).  Any pastor who claims not to feel the burden from time to time has been playing at the business of preaching. Well, either that, or delivering someone else’s sermons.

Lives hang in the balance.  People who hear the Word and believe may live forever. Those who reject Christ will have eternity to regret their decision.  And the determining factor sometimes can be the way one declared the “whole counsel of God.”

No wonder some preachers think this is about them, since so much is at risk here. If I do it well, God uses it to change lives forever. And if I do it poorly or get in the way, those who reject my ineffective message will more than likely reject my Savior too.

The burden is enormous.

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What I would not do for a great story!

“And without parables (great stories!) Jesus did not teach” (Mark 4:34).

I once sat through a long convention session just to hear a motivational speaker.  The story with which he opened was so good it became a mainstay in my arsenal of great illustrations and sermon-helpers.

Time well spent.

I’ve read entire books and come away with one paragraph that became a staple in my preaching thereafter.  It was time well used and money well spent.

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the best-selling Eat, Pray, Love”--which a zillion people loved but of which I am not one; sorry!–attended a party 20 years ago and heard something from a fellow whose name she has long forgotten.  She says, Sometimes I think this man came into my life for the sole purpose of telling me this story, which has delighted and inspired me ever since.

That’s how it works.  One story, a lifetime of benefit.

Gilbert says the man told of his younger brother who was an aspiring artist.  Living in Paris and struggling to get by, he seized every opportunity to get his name before people.  One day, in a cafe’ he met some people who invited him to a party that weekend at a castle in the Loire Valley.  This was big stuff and he eagerly accepted the opportunity to hobnob with people of wealth and influence.

This would be the party of the year, they said.  The rich and famous would be in attendance, as well as members of European royalty.  And, they informed him, it was to be a masquerade ball where everyone went all out on their costumes.  “Dress up, they said, and join us!”

All that week, the little brother worked on a costume he was sure would knock them dead.  His outfit would be the centerpiece of the ball, the one sure to generate the most interest and conversation.  When the day came, he rented a car and drove three hours to the castle.  He changed into his costume in the car and walked up to the castle, head held high, confidence and excitement exuding from the pores of his skin.

Entering the castle, he quickly realized his mistake.

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What to do when the pastor needs a time-out

A friend was in a conference at her church in which various leaders were sitting around haggling over some issue. When one of the guys grew a little irritable, his wife said, “All right, Bobby. You’re in time out!”

The wife is a kindergarten teacher.

Pretty good idea, I think. Someone crosses the line and begins behaving badly, and we put them in time out. Maybe like hockey’s penalty box.

A pastor sent me a note, asking for my (ahem) famous instant assessment on his situation. He’s losing his passion for his ministry even though he knows he’s in the right place and there is nowhere he’d rather be. His sermon preparation is uninspired and much of the work of the ministry is drudgery to him.

I said, “This is a no-brainer. You are fatigued. You need rest.”

He did not argue, but started telling why his church was not going to allow him time away.

What would you think was the major reason the church will not grant him some quality time off? Answer: He’s bi-vocational.

What that means is that in addition to pastoring the church, he also holds down a full-time job in the secular world. So, to the congregation–this is him talking now–he’s part-time at the church. And what could possibly be stressful about a part-time job?

Faulty reasoning. Seriously faulty. His full-time employment carries a full quota of stress and pressure. As for the church job, there is no such thing as a part-time pastor. You are always the pastor and always on call. The work is never far from your mind. Your sermons are always incubating inside you, whether you’re having lunch at your desk or driving to the office. Church members rightfully feel if they need you, day or night, they can call.

Try telling them, “I’m not on duty right now. I’m part time.”

The fatigued pastor needs some time out.

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What pastors should not do about search committees

Just to be safe, you may wish to go ahead and plant your tongue firmly in your cheek.  While the subject is serious, my treatment of it will be only somewhat so.

Let me begin by telling you that in a long ministry (I began pastoring in 1962 and I’m still preaching and ministering), I have literally talked to over a hundred pastor search committees.  In fact, during one three-year period, I counted up and realized I had dealt with an average of one search committee every month, thirty-six in all.

So, pastor, let’s say you’ve been invited to meet with the search committee from the First Church of Butterfly City, and you’re plenty excited.

You’ve been at your present church a number of years now and have about run out of ideas, patience, and energy.  A change would not only be good, it might save your life, your ministry, and even your marriage.

Now, pastor, simmer down.  Do not let yourself become too excited….

First, pastor, you must not assume anything.

–Do not assume the Butterfly committee has done its background checks.  It’s completely possible they may begin tonight’s meeting with, “And who are you again? And where are you serving?”  Assume they know very little about you.

–Do not assume that you are the only candidate the Butterflyians are interviewing.  Committees have been known to invite a series of preachers for interviews, after which they will decide which ones are worth the trouble of traveling to hear them preach.  Assume–until they say otherwise–you are one of several they are looking at.

–Do not assume you are their number one choice and start dreaming of moving to that wonderful church in Butterfly City. This is no time to be calling the chamber of commerce for information on the nearest schools.  This is not yet the time to start doing background checks on the church.  Assume this is just for your encouragement and their education until the Lord and events say otherwise.

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Things most pastors simply cannot do

“One can’t believe impossible things,” said Alice to the White Queen.

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was younger, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

–From Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland.

I write this mostly tongue in cheek.  But not completely.

Having pastored six churches over 42 years and having preached for over 55 years, I know that my fears, my failures, my successes, and my accomplishments all tend to work themselves into what I am preaching.

It seems to require the strength of Samson to keep these things out of our sermons….

–If a pastor jogs or works out, it is impossible for him not to work that into a sermon at least monthly.  “As I was jogging yesterday morning, I’d just completed my third mile….”

–If a pastor’s child has excelled in athletics or the band or in the classroom, he will find a way to allude to that in a sermon.  It’s what a proud dad does.  “My wife and I are so proud of Jayson who has just received ‘student of the month’ award for the third time.  We were telling our daughter who is working on her Master’s at Johns Hopkins…”

–If the pastor once took a course in Greek and can find his way around a Greek lexicon, he will find it impossible not to drop that into the occasional sermon. “When I was studying Greek” or “My Greek Bible says…”  I say this to our embarrassment.  If a real Greek scholar ever entered the service and challenged us, we would be mortified.

–If a pastor reads through the Bible annually–or has just done it the first time–not saying so in a sermon is asking more than he is able to give.  He just has to say so. “As you know, I read through the Bible annually–and have done so for the last 13 years.”

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Lord, forgive us for our word-congestion!

“Let thy words be few” (Ecclesiastes 5:2).

We preachers know how to “multiply words without end.”

It’s our occupation, and it’s an occupational hazard.

They call on us for a few words and half an hour later, they wish we would sit down and shut up.

When one preacher asked why his hosts had not called on him to say grace throughout the entire week they’d been together, the man replied, “Because we want to eat tonight!”  (I was there and I heard it. It was not well-received.)

“Words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious, while the lips of a fool consume him…. Yet the fool multiplies words” (Ecclesiastes 10:12-13)

We fill the silence with words, fill the air with our thoughts, try the patience of everyone around us with our wordiness.  Long prayers, wordy introductions, repetitive announcements, the list is unending.

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Things a pastor does not know

As a born-again believer in the Lord Jesus Christ, we know a great many things.  “We know that we have passed from death unto life because we love the brethren” (I John 3:14).  “We know love” (3:16). “We know that we are of the truth” (3:19). “We know that He abides in us” (3:24).

But–concerning those of us called as pastors–there remains so much we do not know.  Here are some things that come to mind which we do not know.

1) Pastors do not know what their people are going through.

True, we know some of what several are experiencing. But even with those closest to you, so much of their personal lives is hidden from all but God.

2) Pastors do not know what God is doing in each life.

It’s like the wind which blows, said our Lord to Nicodemus. “It blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes” (John 3:8).

3) No pastor knows the plans the Lord has for each one.

“What about him?” said Peter to the Lord, pointing to John.  “What is that to you?” said Jesus. “You follow me” (John 21:21-22).

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