Advice to a young mother. Dad too.

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From my journal of Wednesday, December 31, 1997.

In my morning radio program “Phone Call from the Pastor” (Lifesongs 89.1 New Orleans), I told this:

This is a message to a young mother of two boys I saw at McDonald’s on Airline Highway yesterday.  Your boys are perhaps 2 and 3-1/2.  You say they were born 18 months apart.  “They’re killing you,” I told you facetiously. “I hope you survive until they’re grown.”  But what I thought was, “I hope they survive.”

Their behavior is suicidal. They are well on their way to becoming society’s worst nightmare.  They are out of control.

You kept giving orders to the older one–sit down, be quiet, turn around, eat your lunch–and he kept ignoring and defying you.  There was fire in the little guy’s eyes.  He really did look like a miniature devil.

My heart went out to you.  My wife and I raised two little boys who were three years apart.  I know they can be very trying, especially on Mom.  So, what I’m about to suggest to you comes from some experience with this subject.

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What this place is saying

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(from my 1990 journal)

Before I saw her dead and murdered, I enjoyed her yard and ate her mulberries.

For only the third time in my life, I walked by Miss Boshell’s house and stood in her yard the other day.  This time it was Spring.  The yard is rich in green and the daffodils are everywhere.  Mom says those flowers are from the bulbs Miss Boshell herself planted.  Since she’s been dead 39 years, that’s quite a record.  Buttercups–aka jonquils–must be more formidable than they appear.  The trees have been cut down so what was her house-place looks a lot like an open field.

The first time I came here was in late summer around 1950.  I was 10. Mom and several of us stood around in her yard and on the porch visiting.  The simple white frame house was shadowed on all sides by large trees.  The most interesting to us children was the mulberry tree out close to the road.  Its fruit was large and juicy and hung down within reach.  Nearby her muscadine vines competed for our attention.  It was good to be in Miss Boshell’s yard that day.  If the children talked to her at all, I don’t recall.  Mom did that. We had other business.

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The one-word reason why we will not fear. Not now, not ever!

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A program on a science channel dealt with “Venus: Earth’s Evil Twin.”  The two planets are similar in size, and according to the experts, have the same origin. But Venus is hellish, with acidic atmosphere and temperatures in the monstrous range.

Early in the program, the scientists began telling how Earth’s future is to become as Venus is now.  Not next week. But in the distant future.

Now, personally, I have no trouble with anything that occurs on this planet a billion years down the road, which is the time period the experts dealt with.  For one thing, I won’t be here, and neither will you.  For another, scripture says “the heavens will be destroyed by burning, and the elements will melt with intense heat” (2 Peter 3:12).

Wonder why they feel the need to say such?

Watch enough such science shows, and you come away feeling that their purpose was to unnerve the viewer, to frighten the audience with the awful fate awaiting the planet and possibly to eradicate any primitive thoughts of a God who could be expected to rescue us from such a future.

I suspect their ploy works.  If one watches enough of this stuff, it would.

But there is one thing–one word actually–which keeps people of faith grounded, one word which is our answer to those who would frighten us about the future of this universe.

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10 scriptures that keep drawing me back again and again.

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This is semi-funny.  In my retirement ministry–preaching in various churches–I naturally preach the passages that mean a great deal to me.  And, since I know them so well, in many cases I quote the verses from memory. Often I don’t even carry a Bible to the pulpit with me. To read, I need cumbersome reading glasses, and if I already know the Scripture, what is the point? Just recite the passage and preach it.  If someone asks–as they often do, probably not seriously– whether I have memorized all the Bible (try to imagine that!), I say, “No, I just preach the parts I’ve memorized.”  That’s flippant, I suppose, but pretty much how it is.

I do love the Word of God.  I love all of it, not just the parts I’ve preached again and again.  And I love how those well-known familiar passages keep yielding insights and blessings. Here are a few thoughts on ten passages that I dearly love…

One. Romans 8 is the mother lode of spiritual insight.

In my sermon on prayer last Sunday morning, Romans 8:26 played a huge part.  “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For we do not know how to pray as we should.  But the Spirit Himself intercedes for us…”

We are poor pray-ers. If the Apostle Paul did not know how to pray, it’s a lead-pipe cinch that you and I don’t!

But, we’re not to despair.

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Let’s say you are a young woman thinking of marrying a young minister

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Then, here is what I would say to you….

One. –It’s an exciting and sometimes scary life.  You get to see the work of the Lord up close; you also become the target of the enemy’s work.

Okay, you’re wondering why you would become a target, when all you want to do is to be married to this terrific guy who has heard God’s call to spread the gospel.  What could anyone possibly find wrong with that?  Answer:  You have three enemies–the world, the flesh, and the devil.  The world is the system around you and it is no friend to grace; the flesh is the nature within you and it is hostile to God; and the devil is, well, you know who he is.

In Acts 20:28ff, Paul tells the pastors of Ephesus to expect trouble from two sources: bad people outside the church and troublemakers inside.  That is still in effect today.

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The best encouragement to pray

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“O Thou who dost hear prayer, to Thee all men come” (Psalm 65:2).

God hears prayers.  It’s what He does.

God delights in answering the prayers of His children. Scripture is consistent on this.

The disciples said, “Lord, teach us to pray.”  And Jesus said, “When you pray, say ‘Our Father….'” (Luke 11:1ff).

Slow down. Do not rush through the “Our Father” (what we call “The Lord’s Prayer”).  Look how it begins.

You are praying to the Father.  He is not just yours, of course, but “our” Father.  He has quite the large family.

He is the Father.  He birthed us.  Created us.  Knows us.

God is on your side.  He is not impartial and definitely not antagonistic.  He wants to do well for you, to bless you in every way.  Jesus said, “Fear not, little children. It is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32).

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Irresponsibility and Bitterness: two sides of the same painful coin

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“Not responsible for broken windshields.”

We’ve all seen that sign on the back of large trucks on the highway.

But if the rock hitting my car flew out of that truck’s unsecured load, the driver is responsible, regardless of the sign.  The lawcourts have established this, and lawyers get rich making the point…again and again and again.

I write on this website for pastors and church leaders.  We try to encourage pastors to faithfulness and greater effectiveness, and to lift their spirits when circumstances crush them.  As a result, I sometimes receive critical notes from those who have been abused by pastors.

My pastor husband divorced me and ran off with the secretary.  The church supported him and kept him on.  The children sided with their dad and now will have nothing to do with me. Where is God when this happened?  I’ve quit going to church and question whether God really cares.

I hear from the adult children of ministers who were mistreated by their churches:

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The point at which I stopped reading your book

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In a book of historical fiction on the Civil War, the author told of the train stopping in Birmingham, Alabama, and soldiers getting aboard.

That’s when I tossed it away.

Birmingham, Alabama did not exist during the Civil War. The city was founded in 1870, five years after the end of that war, and chartered the next year.

A western novel I was reading told of some goings-on in the city of New Orleans. The author made reference to the point at which Bourbon Street intersects with the Mississippi River.  This famous street runs parallel to the river and at no point intersects it.

Then, the writer described a scene taking place in a New Orleans mansion “built in the mid-nineteenth century.”  Well, hello. The story was taking place in 1865, by any accounts the middle of the 19th century.

Where were the editors, one wonders?  Does no one in the publishing business read a book with a critical eye any more?

I stopped reading Fannie Flagg’s new book “The Whole Town’s Talking” a third of the way in. My daughter-in-law did the same thing. The difference is I had bought the book, whereas Julie had only to return hers to the library.

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What the church might say after the tempest

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“So the brethren brought Saul down to Caesarea and sent him away to Tarsus. So the church throughout all Judea and Galilee and Samaria enjoyed peace….”  (Acts 9:30-31).

After they slipped the new disciple, Saul of Tarsus, out of the city, the Jerusalem disciples had peace.  The work flourished.

Some people bless the Lord’s work more by leaving than by arriving and working.

That’s what started me thinking about this….

The church building was relieved when the last pastor resigned.  It sighed with relief.  The sanctuary knew quietness and peace again.  Its ulcers eased and started healing. The church office grew calm and the pastor’s study went into a fast.

The conference room had more meetings than before, since more committees are required to run a program when one man is not calling all the shots. A dictatorship is the most efficient form of government, we read.  But the Lord’s church was never intended as a one-person rule.

These, however, were purposeful meetings. The walls breathed easily as the voices within prayed and affirmed.

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And the Lord said to Gabriel, “This guy has me cornered.”

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In 1990, during a 12-month break between two pastorates–what most call unemployment–I kept a journal recording what was happening, what I prayed would happen, and what I feared might happen.  Below is a little reverie from that time when I was praying for the next pastorate, worrying whether there would be a next one, and anxious to get on with it.  In this piece, I imagined the Lord stepping in to answer our prayers.

God said to Gabriel, “This guy has me cornered.”

“He came when I called him to the last church and served where I sent him.  He turned down a bigger opportunity and a hundred thousand dollar bribe to see a difficult situation to its conclusion.  In the process, I showed him the 66th psalm.”

Background: One night in the middle of our firestorm, Margaret and I had sat on the back porch reading Scripture and talking.  I began to read Psalm 67. Quickly, everything inside me said, “No.  Psalm 66.”  Now, I could not have told you the difference. One psalm was the same as the other. But I read Psalm 66 out loud, and we were amazed. We saw the Lord was sending us a message.  In verses 10-12, He perfectly described our situation. 

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