A few years back, a young friend in our church became hooked on “Happy Days,” the television series. She fantasized of the 1950s as the golden age in American life. She thought it was all Elvis and sock hops and soda fountains.

One day I just couldn’t take it any more and did something really mean.

I said, “Melissa, I became a teenager in 1953. In the ’50s, we fought the Korean War, then went through the Cold War. We feared being bombed by Russia every day, and racism was rampant. I wouldn’t go back there for anything.”

I know, I know. I should have left her alone to her daydreaming. She wasn’t hurting anyone.

The truth is I’m as much into nostalgia as anyone I know.

Nostalgia: Fantasizing about an earlier time in a way that denies the reality. That’s my definition, not one you’ll find in a book somewhere.

The current Sherlock Holmes craze owes its popularity to an idealized love for the 1890s as much as to an admiration for the observation and reasoning skills of the great detective, I wager. This fictional creation of Arthur Conan Doyle is more popular today than he has ever been, and that’s saying something.

In “The Sherlockian,” Graham Moore’s new book that plays to the fascination for all things Sherlock, the protagonist, Harold White, sizes up the nostalgia thing perfectly.

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My friend Don Davidson, who pastors Alexandria Virginia’s First Baptist Church as well as it’s ever been done, turns out an end-of-the-year retrospective which will serve as my model for what follows.

So, here’s my report on my (ahem) Retirement Ministry in this, my third year of unemployment….

Revivals

Six revivals this year. In diverse and wonderful cities such as Ochlocknee, Georgia, Saragossa and Deatsville, AL, Mt Hermon and Crowville, LA, and Picayune, MS. I loved every one of them and made friends for life and beyond.

Banquets.

McComb and Columbus, MS. Zachary and Moss Bluff, LA. Linden and Grove Hill, AL. In banquets, I sketch people before, during, and after the meal, and at the appointed time get up and tell my stories, doing my best to be entertaining and inspirational. I have more fun than anyone there.

Senior Adult stuff.

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Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another. (Galatians 5:26)

It’s funny that the Old Testament’s references to envy focus on God’s people looking outward to the world (“sinners”). They were not to envy wrongdoers.

The New Testament’s references, by contrast, are directed inwardly, warning believers against envying each other. For those of us who know the inner workings of church life, we fully understand the change.

Now, a confession first.

Over the last two weeks, as I’ve reflected on the seven deadly sins (pride, envy, avarice, anger, sloth, gluttony, and lust), the one that interested me least was this one: envy. What’s exciting about that? Nothing exotic. No funny stories to tell, no dramatic scriptural stories to relate.

In fact, I decided envy is not a problem in my world. I honestly don’t know anyone sitting around stewing over the neighbors having a car and wishing it was in their own driveway. I know of no preachers fuming because another pastor received a doctorate which he should have rightfully received. So, maybe envy is no longer a problem to moderns.

The reason for that strange–and erroneous–conclusion is the narrow definition I was applying to the concept.

If to envy means to wish we owned something another person now possesses and only that, few of us would be guilty. But that’s far too skinny an interpretation of this obese transgression.

Here then are several observations on envy, what I’m calling “the sneakiest” of the seven deadly sins.

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God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. (I Peter 5:5)

When a British newspaper invited readers to submit their answers to the question “What’s Wrong With the World?” the inimitable G. K. Chesterton wrote: “Editors: I am. Sincerely, G. K. Chesterton.”

Of the so-called seven deadly sins, pride always leads the parade. It’s the granddaddy of them all, the source of the other six. Consider how this is so—

–Lust is pride expressing itself sexually, as well as in other ways. It takes what it wants, uses it, and tosses it in the trash.

–Avarice is pride in the marketplace and in our culture. It wants more and more and is never satisfied.

–Anger is pride on the highway and in relationships. It didn’t get what it wants and wants revenge.

–Envy is pride casting an evil eye at its neighbor, wishing for what he has and that he had a wart on his nose. (An old childhood curse we would inflict in jest)

–Sloth is pride expressing its selfishness concerning work. None for him, thanks. He’ll sit this one out. Everyone owes him.

–Gluttony is pride at the dinner table.

Pride is an exalted sense of oneself. It’s that simple.

Sometimes people speak of pride as a correct and healthy sense of oneself, as in, “Take pride in yourself” and “Take pride in your work.” And since there is no Czar of Correctness concerning word usage, that is as legitimate as using pride to mean an inflated, puffed up ego.

This is probably as good a place as any to quote my wonderful old professor, Dr. Ray Frank Robbins, who would tell us seminarians, “Words do not have meanings. Word have usages.”

Chesterton was correct; he was the problem. But so am I. And so are you.

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…the idea of sin is preeminently a construction of Christian theology. (From Henry Fairlie’s book, “The Seven Deadly Sins Today.”)

It bugs some people that the Bible does not give us a comprehensive list of sins and end all the speculation, frustration, and false guilt.

I suspect we are victims of a rulebook mentality as a result of the endless controversies over interpretations of rules in NCAA football, NFL football, MLB baseball, and so forth. What complicates those discussions is that the authorities are forever tweaking the rules. Each year representatives of the NCAA get together to discuss requirements for athletes to play collegiate sports, rules governing the playing of those sports, and one thousand related issues.

The IRS constantly tweaks the rules for taxpayers, forcing CPAs to attend regular updating conferences.

Why don’t we do that in church, some wonder? How in the world could the Lord send us forth into this world to accomplish such grand missions without providing a list of all the no-no’s and taboos?

We are such legalists at heart. And for good reason.

When we have a list of rules to keep and prohibitions to avoid and do them perfectly, we have a wonderful sense of accomplishment. “Look what I did.” Ahhh. Such self-satisfaction.

And that’s why the Lord doesn’t do it. Self-satisfaction is the last thing He wants in His children. “Boasting in the flesh,” scripture calls it, and it is anathema to believers who would be used of God.

The Lord much prefers His children have an on-going sense of dependence on Him, that “I can’t do it without you, Lord,” and “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Once we get the hang of that, we find ourselves saying what those who do not “get it” consider utterly stupid, such as “when I am weak, then am I strong” (II Corinthians 12:10).

So where does the concept of sin figure in this? Answer: Prominently.

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I read somewhere that Diamond Jim Brady, a character in American life a few generations ago, loved food so much, his stomach was 6 times the size of a normal belly.

Now, that, we think, is a glutton!

Can we talk?

How ironic that the season during which we celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus provides us the perfect excuse to over-indulge.

Like the megalopolis that now stretches from Washington to Boston or from Dallas to Fort Worth, this eating holiday dominates our calendar from Thanksgiving to New Year’s.

Walk through any modern large-box store, and study the edibles they’re offering during this season. It’s not just turkey and dressing and yams and egg nog any longer. It’s chocolates like you would not believe, in every kind of assortment and combination. It’s cookies and cakes and pies coming out your ears. Books pour off the shelves telling homemakers of new recipes for the latest taste sensations for these holidays. Restaurants offer special smorgasbords for the holidays with prices approaching $100 per person.

The wonder is that Americans are not all 400 pounds.

What’s that? We are? Well, far too many of us are.

What position should the disciple of the Lord Jesus take regarding this little crime-against-one’s-body we call gluttony?

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I’m always conflicted on those rare occasions when someone attributes godliness to me.

There’s not a disciple of Jesus Christ anywhere who would not want to be thought of as godly. But I strongly suspect that anyone to whom the label can be legitimately applied would never in a million years think they qualified.

There is that dichotomy which we see with a lot of spiritual disciplines. With humility, if we think we have it, we don’t. With maturity, if we think of ourselves as mature in the faith, we probably aren’t. And with godliness, one of the features of this most wonderful of all traits is a strong awareness of our frailness, our fallibility, our wicked heart.

That little contradiction gives rise to the silly bit that goes: “If I think I’m humble, I’m not. If I’m truly humble, I don’t think I am. And since I don’t think of myself as humble, I must be.”

Godliness is Christlikeness. The presence of the Lord Himself is so strong within us, we reflect Him to all we meet. The character of the Lord Jesus is exhibited through us in all we do. The love of Jesus–the love of God, same difference–shines forth to all we meet.

And yet, we are no less human than we’ve ever been. We do not “channel” Jesus, as a friend asked me the other day. No, nothing goofy or spooky. It’s simply that the closer to the Lord Jesus we get, the more these two realities grow up side by side: the presence and power of Christ in us, and our humanity, meaning we become more fully the individual God made us to be.

When John the Baptist said of Jesus, “He must increase, I must decrease,” he did not imply that there would come a day when his personality and his individuality would be absorbed into the Almighty Messiah and he would cease to exist, as some have thought. Instead, he would always be John, but would get more and more out of the way while Jesus Christ would be everything to him.

Godliness does not have to be as elusive a subject as we sometimes make it. Think of it as “More of Christ in Me” and at the same time, “I become more the person He created me to be.”

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We have two kinds of people in our churches today: those who flit from church to church, never putting down roots or establishing relationships and finding their ministries, and those who will stay in a church regardless.

It’s the second group that puzzles me.

Why do they stay?

Like the note I received today: “Our church treasurer stole 60,000 dollars from us. He was a drunkard and the preacher knew it and constantly talked with the man about his problem. But now, the man has left town with the church’s money.”

“Meanwhile,” the writer went on, “attendance in our church has dropped from 70 to around 10. The pastor is retiring and wants a large financial settlement and for us to pay his retirement. What are we to do?”

I’ll tell you what I’d do. I would walk away. With only 10 people coming, there’s hardly a church there anymore. And with the kind of non-leadership they’ve had, from this distance, it would appear that for this church to go out of business is no loss. After all, assuming that church is not in the frozen tundra where there is not another congregation within a hundred miles, it’s not like there aren’t other good churches in the area.

I’d go join one.

Yet, people persevere.

Why do they stay in such dysfunctional churches when they could so easily drive another mile down the road and find peace?

Why do they continue coming to a church that cannot go a month without a fight? Can’t go a year without someone wanting to run off the preacher? Can’t vote on a budget without conflict arising.

Why don’t they just leave for their own peace of mind?

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