A friend and I have been trying to work our way through the 73rd Psalm. Doing it on-line slows down the process, but it also achieves something else which I’ve discovered as an unexpected blessing. Taking one’s time results in your seeing things in the Word you would have ordinarily missed.
That psalm–there’s nothing else like it in the Bible–gives the account of the writer (listed as Asaph) who had been envying the wealthy wicked for their long lives, contented circumstances, and trouble-free existence. “What’s the point in my doing good and suffering for it?” he wondered.
Then, just about the time he was thinking about sharing his discontent with others, he went to church, had a life-changing worship experience, and saw things in a vastly different light. Basically, what God showed him was the “end” of those people. That is, he saw what becomes of them after this life, and it was not a thing to be admired.
The psalm ends with a song of praise to God, made up of outstanding lessons learned through this experience.
What struck me today, though, was verse 15:
If I had said, ‘I will speak thus,’ behold, I should have betrayed the generation of thy children.
Looking back and writing about his time of doubt and misery, the psalmist sees this as a near-miss. He thinks, “Whew! I almost blew it. Had I told people what was going on in my mind–how I was doubting God and envying evil-doers–I could have really upset a lot of people and done a great deal of damage.”
That’s what he thought. And maybe he’s right.
But I’m thinking, maybe not. Had he gone before other believers and told them what he was thinking, how his faith was wavering, I’m betting that instead of upsetting them, the response would have been more like:
“(yawn) Man, you just now working on this? Where have you been? Pull up a chair, son.”
The simple fact is that every thoughtful believer at one time or other goes through such a crisis of faith. It’s part of the journey toward maturity.
However, the person in the midst of the crisis seems not to know it. Instead, he/she is afflicted by a syndrome that seems to accompany doubt: egotism.
When we doubt and question God, we seem to always do it alone. The reason is that something inside us insists that we are the first to think such thoughts. We have found the fatal flaw to the Christian faith. We are smarter than the other yokels around us who never dare look up and question what we’ve been taught.
Faith is humble. But doubt is egotistical.
Let’s look at this a little more closely.
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