Category Archives: Pastors

If you would bear His reproach, first lose your cool

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“Hence, let us go out to Him outside the camp, bearing His reproach” (Hebrews 13:13).

Ministers considered “cool” by the world should be wary.

It’s a trap.

Let those outside the faith–i.e., friends and admirers with no appreciation for Scripture, the call of God, the blood of Jesus, or the direness of their situation–compliment the preacher on his coolness, and he can be in danger quick.

Woe to the minister who loves such a compliment.

The moment he takes that to heart, he begins ordering his life by the coolness factor.  If he preaches a certain doctrine, his friends will not appreciate it, so he conveniently finds other topics, perhaps without even realizing what he is doing. If he speaks up for a particular value, they will find him suddenly uncool, so he mutes his radicalness. He wears his hair and arranges his clothing and selects his speech in accordance with what will make him appear cool.

It’s a seduction.

Such is the way of the insecure preacher, one loving the approval of the world rather than seeking to please the Lord Jesus Himself.

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You’re doing a funeral, pastor. Offer comfort.

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“Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:4).

First, let’s make the point that nowhere does Scripture say preachers have to preach funerals.  In fact, there’s not a word in the Bible about the necessity to even have funerals.

But there is a great deal about comforting the grieving and hurting.

We who are called into the ministry must not claim this funeral prerogative as our divine right.  If we are invited to “preach a funeral,” someone wants the comfort we are able to give because of Jesus Christ.

Don’t miss that.

And try not to abuse the privilege.

Most preachers get this right. They know a funeral is the saddest time for a family and that they are there to do one thing: to bring the comfort of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Again, most pastors seem to get this right.

However….

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Pastor, do not fall in love with the sound of your own voice

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The preacher who loves the sound of his own voice is usually the last to know. Usually, he will explain his situation with something like this…..

–I love to preach.

–I don’t mind standing in front of groups and speaking extemperaneously. In fact, I get a charge out of it.

–If you ever need a last minute speaker, call on me.

–I’m a natural born leader, an outgoing person who loves everyone.

–Public speaking (or preaching) is my passion.

Maybe all of these things are true. Just maybe.  But once it becomes apparent that you have a romantic relationship with the sound of your own voice, you become a problem to everyone around you.  You get on your wife’s nerves, you push your staff members to the limit of their endurance, and your children make jokes about you behind your back.

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Ministry miseries: How to be sure you got ’em!

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I don’t know anyone who wants to be miserable in anything, much less in serving the Lord, but some people give the appearance of working hard to achieve it.

Here are three self-destructive things (you’ll think of a hundred) we ministry-persons do which undermine our effectiveness in the work and fuel the angst of frustration which many people live with on a daily basis….

1) Expect to be paid what you think you’re worth.

Figure out what you are being paid, then total up the number of hours you put in, and divide the second into the first.  The result is your wages per hour.  Disgusting, ain’t it? (smiley-face here)

There is perhaps no more certain path to misery in the ministry than to estimate your own personal value based on such factors as years of training, the degrees you hold, and the tenure you have logged in the Lord’s work, and expect to be paid appropriately.  If this misery is not enough for you, then figure in the number of children you have, the hours your spouse invests in the ministry too (all of it unpaid), and the errands your children run for church members.  You will not, of course, ask to be recompensed for any of that, but dwelling on it makes you feel worse, and after all, that was the point in the first place.

In retirement, the math for certain misery gets easier.  You were invited for a specific event–a retreat for which you were the speaker, a banquet you did, a revival you preached for a church–and when it was over they handed you a check.  You have no trouble at all counting the miles you traveled, the hours you spent in your car, and the costs associated with your trip: meals, tips, dry cleaning bill, and other incidentals.  Then, you figure out the actual number of hours/days at that church, and compare to the numbers on the check you were paid.

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The high cost of adultery and those who pay it

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I get these sad notes from people who read something from this blog and tell me of some mess-up they’ve done and the unbearable pain they caused. My heart goes out to them and to their loved ones.

My role–from the Lord, I assure you!–is to remind them there is still time to get back up off the mat where life has sent them and to do something significant in the Lord’s work, that sometimes the work of a wounded warrior (even if self-inflicted) is of a higher quality than what it would have been otherwise.

However, from time to time, we get reminded of the high cost of unfaithfulness which those who love us are required to bear when we break our vows. This is one of those stories.

I  was 5 years old when President Franklin D. Roosevelt died and still remember family members bursting into tears. Recently when we were back at the old homeplace in Alabama, I showed my sons where I was standing when we got that news.  Some things leave a lasting impression.

That was April of 1945.  FDR’s wife Eleanor lived another 20 years or more. She was a fine lady in a hundred ways, evidently, although admittedly not much to look at.  People used to make jokes about her appearance, her protruding front teeth, etc.

Not long ago, a historian gave us a different take on Mrs. Roosevelt’s appearance.

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The single most encouraging thing you can do for a pastor

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First a disclaimer: I’m a retired pastor, I have no deacons (and no church members), I love deacons, and I’m loving ministry. However, there was a time when life was tough.

That’s what this is about.

I was having trouble with a few deacons. From the day I became their pastor, these men and their families had dedicated themselves to not liking me and being non-supportive in anything I suggested.

Eight years later, we did something.

Amazing, isn’t it, that we waited so long.  But one must not think we did not try a hundred approaches to bring unity among our church leaders.  However, nothing worked.

Finally, in exasperation I told the deacon officers–all of whom were faithful and supportive–that I had had it “up to here” and was ready to bring these men before the church and ask the congregation to take action.

The officers conferred with each other and came back with a most unusual request.

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The time I asked a church member about my preaching

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The pastor had better figure out in a hurry for whom he’s preaching and whom he wants to satisfy before he approaches the pulpit.

If he’s preaching for his audiences–if their response is everything to him–I can assure him there are church members out there ready to pop that little bubble and bring his ego down to earth and send his self-confidence packing.

Here’s my story….

When the husband died, his wife of nearly 60 years was instructing me on how she wanted things done in the funeral.

She mentioned our associate pastor.”I don’t care for his funerals. He talks about himself too much.”

Okay. I had never heard his funeral sermons since he did these only when I was not available.

I said, “What do you think of mine?”

Dumb question.  But I asked for it.

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I don’t much like the preacher either!

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Mickey Crane, pastor of a thriving Free Will Baptist Church in Walker County, Alabama, was telling a group something they needed to hear.

The churches in the area were having a community meeting at a ballfield.  I attended with my mother and sister and wrote down his statement:

“I understand people who don’t like the preacher.  I don’t much like him either and I know him better than you! That’s why I can love and minister to people who don’t like me. I understand.”

How refreshing is that!

And how rare is it.  Listen to some of us preachers poor-mouth about church members who do not like us and you’d think it was our right to receive adulation from the world.

Readers of this website know how pro-pastor I am.  And, from all I read in Scripture, the Lord Jesus is pro-pastor also. In fact, He said things like this….

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“Our pastor is not a good fit for our church.”

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The committee could not find any specific reasons they wanted the pastor to leave.  Church attendance was healthy, the congregation was responding well to the minister’s leadership, and finances were in line with expectations.  But there was an undercurrent of dissatisfaction with the preacher, and had been since day one.

“You’re just not a good fit for our church” was all the committee could come up with.

They wanted him out. If he refused to go peacefully, a movement would be started to oust him forcibly.

If this sounds unlikely to readers, let me assure you it happens quite often.

The wife of a youth minister texted me recently with a similar story about her husband.  The administrator and personnel chair had visited him that evening to cut him loose upon just this basis–“you’re not a good fit for our church.”  They informed him the pastor would meet with him the next morning to discuss details of his severance.

Just so easily are leaders willing to toy with the lives and ministries of God-called servants as well as with the health, unity, and reputation of His churches.

In many cases, what “you’re not a good fit” means is that certain members simply dislike the minister.  And since they do not like him, clearly, the solution is for him to go back where he came from.

The presumption of some people is truly amazing.

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Getting tough at the funeral

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“And we urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with all men” (I Thessalonians 5:14).

At the funeral, as at every other place where you rise to serve the Lord, preacher, tell the truth.

The gospel truth.

You have an obligation to comfort the bereaved, true. But you have an even greater duty to obey your Lord by declaring the whole counsel of God.

The Holy Spirit can guide you on how to do both; the flesh doesn’t have a clue and will lean to one extreme or the other.

My pastor friend R. J. did something rather bold the other day.

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