Category Archives: Pastors

Twelve social skills needed by every pastor

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“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:32).

A retired seminary professor, now ministering in a different church every weekend, posted an interesting little note on Facebook…

That day, he had been wondering whether the host pastor had appreciated his sermon. So far, the preacher had not said a word. But as they walked toward the parking lot, the pastor said, “Before you go, would you like a cup of coffee?”  Thinking the pastor wanted to visit a bit, the professor said, “Sure, that would be fine.”

The pastor said, “You  will notice a McDonald’s on your right as you leave town. They serve a great cup of coffee.”

Not exactly what the visitor had in mind. Some of us who have had similar conversations found it amusing.

Dr. Adrian Rogers once said to me, “Do you ever get up to Memphis?” I said I did from time to time.  He said, “Well, don’t ever worry about a place to eat or a place to stay. We have some of the best restaurants and hotels you will ever find anywhere.”

I laughed and said, “Thanks a lot!”

As a fellow retiree (and thus a guest preacher in some 30 or more churches a year), I have had similar experiences as my professor friend.  One of the most common things that happens after I preach in a church is….

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How the pastor can worry himself into an early grave

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Why do people do the things they do?

Try to figure that one out and soon your brain will explode from over-exertion.

Why did certain people leave your church? Why did that pastor search committee–that looked so promising, talked so excitedly, and seemed so certain–suddenly disappear without a word of explanation? Why did a friend turn on you and walk out of your life without a word?

People are going to leave your church, pastor.

You ministered to them faithfully, you thought you had a great relationship with them and they were happy under your ministry, then suddenly you noticed they were gone. Sometime later, you learn they joined another church down the road a mile. What happened?  Ideally, they will make an appointment to explain their actions.

But don’t hold your breath, preacher. This is not an ideal world.

In a half century of ministry, the number of families that have come to explain why they were leaving, I could count on one hand.

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Dumb stories we preachers tell

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“Whatever was I thinking?”

I’ve said that. And I’ve sometimes thought it about other preachers whose sermon illustrations just got entered into the competition for dumbest story of the year.

A “dumb” story in this piece, refers to an account of something that distracts from God’s message, or sucks all the air out of the room so that no one hears anything for the next 15 minutes, or overpowers the sermon so the story is all anyone remembers for the next week, or is mind-bogglingly offensive. Or is just plumb stupid, did we say that?

Most of us preachers have been guilty of telling one or two of those over the years. Or a hundred.

Consider this a call for greater discernment in selecting stories and illustrations, parables and news items for our sermons.

1) A story that overpowers the sermon and smothers whatever point you were making is unworthy and needs to be tossed.

Have you heard the one about the dad who went fishing with his son and the boy’s friend?

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How to be disappointed in your pastor (Reasons 11-20)

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When we asked Facebook friends for ways to find disappointment in the pastor, we were swamped with responses.  Apparently, everyone knows ways to put down the preacher. So, following up on yesterday’s list, here are 10 more pointers to (ahem) help readers conclude that their pastor is a loser and should exit the church so hot-shots like you can bring in a real God-called minister. (Can you tell this is tongue-in-cheek?)

“Therefore, also, we have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him” (2 Corinthians 5:9). That’s the preacher’s assignment.  Yours, too, church member. Okay, let’s cut to the chase….

11. Expect the pastor to be in the office all the time.

“I ran by the church to see the preacher and he wasn’t there. The secretary said, ‘I don’t know where he is. He never tells me anything!'”

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How to be disappointed in your pastor (Reasons 1-10)

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“Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who work hard at preaching and teaching” (I Timothy 5:17).

The first step toward running a pastor off or leaving the church in search of a better preacher is rejecting the one you have.

We have some pointers on how to do that.

Not that some people need a recipe for finding shortcomings with God’s shepherds. Fault-finders will always find a way. But just in case anyone out there in churchland has been wondering how they could justify rejecting their pastors (to themselves at least), we have the blueprint….

1) Expect the pastor to read your mind.

“You know we always have our meeting on the first Tuesday of September, Pastor. Why did you schedule that revival then?”

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Facebook, credit cards, and other evils

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“Solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil” (Hebrews 5:14). 

I remember so well the day many of us cut up our credit cards. It was a victory over bondage. We celebrated, and probably bragged on ourselves just a tad.

Today, over 30 years later, I own three credit cards and a debit card and am in bondage to none of them.  What happened?

In those days, the 1970s, many of us looked upon credit cards as an evil force enticing people into deeper debt and the accompanying bondage and oppression.  And, that was exactly what was happening to many people back then.  I knew people who found the temptation to pull out that credit card and buy something they could not afford–and would not have purchased had cash been required–irresistible.  Furthermore, the use of credit cards was not at all necessary in the society of that decade, but merely a convenience.

Times have changed.  These days, we are moving more and more to a cashless society.  And, while I have three credit cards (one is for gasoline only), I pay them off monthly. The banks make no money–not a red cent–from my cards. The debit card, of course, simply deducts money from my bank account on the spot, so there is no debt involved, and no bondage.

Yet, I recall those days of the 1970s when we read books and studied courses and attended conferences, then held ceremonies to cut up our credit cards.

I think of this when I hear someone ranting about the evils of Facebook.

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A minister should be able to teach.

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“And the Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged….” (2 Timothy 2:24).

I am a teacher.

When I was a senior in high school, a classmate gave me one of those unforgettable moments that lives in one’s mind forever.  Principal Andy Davis had summoned me to his office to help Jerry Crittenden with a math problem. Now, Jerry was a big football player, lovable and kind-hearted, and a joy to be around.  But in math, the guy was lost.

Toward the end of our session, Jerry said, “Joe, you should be a teacher. I can understand it the way you explain it.”

Eighteen months later, following a frustrating freshman year of college that taught me one huge thing–I do not want to major in physics!–I realized that God wanted me to be a teacher. He had gifted me with a love for history as well as a delight in learning, and had surrounded me with some excellent teachers as role models.

At the time, I thought the idea was to become a history teacher in high school and later, after getting the necessary education, in college.  Then, as a senior in college, God called me to preach.  I think members of my churches over these years would say, however, that Joe never quit teaching.

And that’s good.

“Able to teach.”  What a strange thing the Apostle Paul did.  In the middle of calling his preachers to hold down the noise, to quieten the arguments, and still the controversies, he wants them gentle and patient and kind–and able to teach.

Pastor search committees would do well to put this skill high on their list of requirements when checking out preachers.

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Since the congregation is made up of all kinds of people, expect anything.

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Often, I will post an article on this blog and a few days later, see that some online pastors’ magazine has lifted it (they have our blanket permission) and shared it with 75,000 of their closest friends. That’s when I find out what a bum I am.

Maybe I should not read the comments at the bottom of those articles, but the temptation is just too overpowering.  I end up reading things like:

“What kind of idiot would say such a thing as this?”  “I thought it was a positive article and could not wait to read it. Imagine my disappointment when I found out what the writer was saying.  McKeever is weird.”  “This guy is a Christian?”

It’s all I can do not to respond to such comments, and once in a while I will give in and say something like: “How unkind” or “Such anger,” and leave it there.

Mostly, I read it and go away reminding myself that anyone can subscribe to these online magazines, and often does.  Just as there are some bizarre churches in the land purporting to be Christian, they are led by pastors who tend to be just as off-center.

The point being, don’t let it upset you, preacher.

Not that I am above criticism.  Far from it.  In fact, I love it when someone points out a flaw in my thinking with some well-reasoned evidence or some biblical truth I may have not taken into consideration.  Often, I’ll go back into that “WordPress” program and correct the article.

There is, of course, a lesson for pastors here. And that’s the point of this piece.

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How to fire a staff member, and have him like it

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There are healthy ways to do the most unpleasant of things.

Nothing is more difficult, more unpleasant, and with a greater possibility for collateral damage than terminating a minister on the church staff.  Few churches get this right.  Many end up doing far more damage to the kingdom of God than if they had left that staff member where he was and done nothing.

To be sure, there are occasions when terminating a minister on the spot with no advance notice is necessary. I can think of several reasons…

–He has been arrested and there is probable cause.

–He is guilty of a serious immorality and people were hurt by him.

–He is doing teaching something blatantly unscriptural and insisting that he will continue.

–He is being disruptive in the church and doing great harm.  Let’s say he is leading a movement to get the pastor fired.  He should be terminated on the spot.

However, even in those situations, you as a church leader have more people to think about than just that one person.  If he has a wife and children, you owe them the Christlike care and continued ministry of the church until their lives straighten out.  If that minister has the trust and affection of church members, you owe them the assurance that this matter is being handled in a way they would approve of if they were doing it.

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How to be fired unjustly and come out a winner

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Let’s say you are a minister on the staff of a medium-sized church.  You finished seminary and at the invitation of this church, you moved your young family here to this city and have gotten deeply involved in ministry.  You are in the process of buying a house.  Life is looking good.

Then one day, you are asked to attend a meeting with a few leaders of the church. The administrator is there, accompanied by the chairman of the personnel committee and the deacon chair.  Long story short, you learn you are being terminated. Let go. Superannuated. Fired. Getting the ax.  Pink-slipped.

They gave you reasons.  They said things like, “We love you. We appreciate your ministry.  You have a great spirit and we treasure your family.”  Then they added the “however.”  Things like: “Things are not working out, finances have been down lately, it’s not a good fit, you and the church.”  Or perhaps, “Some people are unhappy with the way you do things” or “Your manner is abrasive and you have rubbed some people the wrong way.”

You did not see this coming.

They gave you no warning.  You wonder why.

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