I’m on this “the preacher needs a buddy” kick in this week’s articles. Obviously, not everyone agrees. Some are offended by the thought, as though we’re suggesting that Jesus is not enough.

I’m not suggesting it. I’m saying it.

Well, to be precise, what I’m saying is: One of the primary ways the Lord works in your (and my) life is through other people. And He has chosen not to alter that system even for the most spiritual, most mature, and most godly.

How’s that? Clear enough.

The pastor (an all-encompassing term in my lexicon which refers to ministers, missionaries, shepherds, church staffers) who tries to go it alone in ministry is choosing to walk with a limp, to work with one hand behind him, to limit his effectiveness, and to let a large part of his personality atrophy.

On the other hand….

When a minister climbs out of his shell and reaches out to befriend two or three colleagues in the Lord’s work, when he makes friends of others called into this service, at least 12 things happen, all of them good.

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The four-year-old who says, “I can do it by myself” has a lot in common with the typical pastor.

Pastors are notorious for their lone ranger approach to ministry. It’s what I call the number one failure of 90 percent of pastors. They prefer to go it alone.

Even Jesus needed a buddy. “He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, ‘So, you men could not keep watch with me for one hour?'” (Matthew 26:40)

Sometimes it helps to have someone nearby, praying, loving, caring, even hurting with you.

The word paracletos from John 16:7 is translated “Comforter” and “Helper” in most Bible versions. The literal meaning is “one called alongside,” the usual idea being that the Holy Spirit is our Comforting Companion, a true Friend in need. And each time that word is found in the New Testament–John 14:16,20; 15:26; 16:7; and I John 2:1–it always refers to the Lord.

However, here’s something important.

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And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread and in prayers…. So continuing daily with one accord in the temple and breaking bread from house to house, they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart, praising God and having favor with all the people (Acts 2:42-47).

When a church of 120 members set out to assimilate 3,000 new additions into the life of the congregation, they ranked “fellowship” toward the top of the list as a critical step in accomplishing the task.

Koinonia is the Greek word. Literally, it refers to a sharing of life, or a partnership, which doesn’t tell us a lot about what it meant in the followup program in the early church. So, in the absence of anything definitive from Scripture on the precise meaning of the term, I submit for your consideration my own definition: Hanging out.

The “fellowship” quotient of a church–whether the members love the Lord and one another–is one of the most telling features of a congregation, one of the most dependable indicators of the health of the church, and one of the best predictors of its future usefulness in the Kingdom.

Here are 10 aspects of the fellowship of your church worth carving in stone, or better, engraving on the hearts of your leadership and membership.

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Recently, my wife and I have found ourselves in discussions about restaurants where we’ve dined. We enjoyed the food in each place and found the staff sufficiently friendly. But several aspects loomed large in our conversation, provoking me–ever the preacher–to thinking about how churches could benefit from studying what these eating establishments are doing, and what they’re not doing.

1. I wish churches put as much emphasis on friendly greeters at the front door as great restaurants do.

Often they are teenagers, or perhaps college students. The kids are fresh-faced, sweet-spirited, well-dressed, and friendly. The graciousness appears genuine.

Have you ever walked up to an unfamiliar church and saw no one at the doors, no greeters or welcoming team anywhere on the premises? It happens to me frequently.

Are restaurants more interested in welcoming paying customers than churches are interested in showing hospitality to people coming to worship the living Christ?

Even so, sometime in the service the preacher or a staff member will give a verbal welcome. They will tell how much this church loves visitors and guests. But it doesn’t wash. It rings hollow.

Take the business of having a handshaking, fellowshiping time in the middle of the worship service. If the members do not care enough to greet newcomers before and/or after the service, any attempt to do so within the service itself doesn’t work. To a visitor, the only friendliness that counts is the spontaneous outpouring prior to and after the worship.

The most successful restaurants choose greeters carefully and train them. Managers monitor them occasionally and correct the greeters who are not getting it right. Furthermore, these young people are surrounded by a staff of their peers who will help them.

Churches can learn from this. A church interested in effectively welcoming newcomers will have continual greeter training going on.

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My friend J. B. was serving as interim pastor of the church and invited me to preach a four-day revival. On the final night, as I often do, I preached a message on the church. This week, many months after the event, he told me what happened.

“You really made some of my people angry.”

“Really?” I said. “I can’t imagine. What was that all about?”

He laughed, “They were convinced I had told you private things about our church. You addressed those situations so perfectly, they knew that was no accident. Their only explanation was that I had told you.”

I said, “You didn’t tell me anything.”

He said, “I know. I didn’t tell you on purpose, so that whatever God laid on your heart to share would not be tainted by my viewpoint.”

It’s not the first time that happened, I told J. B.

That particular sermon, more than any other I preach, has been known to send a few church leaders out of the services angry at me for sticking my nose into their business.

Here is the gist of it.

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