Two main items in the news caught my attention. First, the one about money.

Despite the money insurers have paid out to Katrina victims over the past year, we learn now that the big insurance companies have just had their best year ever. The Times-Picayune reports that Allstate–much maligned in this part of the world for its stingy payouts to their customers–earned a whopping $5 billion last year. State Farm’s profits were up 65 percent. St. Paul Traveler’s earnings rose sixfold in the fourth quarter, and American International Group (AIG) saw its profits rise eightfold. Profits are expected to be high in 2007 too.

Anyone smell a rat? Listen to some of these companies and you would think they are about to go belly-up and cannot afford to insure people in this part of the world any longer. (As obscene as the gas company profits are–and we’re all stunned to learn of the billions they earn at a time when the gas prices keep going up–at no point do they suggest they ought to quit selling their product. Insurance companies do however.)

People who know tell us that insurers are themselves insured, that they do not bear the full weight of liability for the properties they insure, and that if a catastrophe hits, they are protected. Otherwise, one big hurricane could wipe them out. Okay, makes sense. And, apparently, that’s what happened.

J. Robert Hunter, director of insurance for the non-profit Consumer Federation of America, is coming down hard on the insurance companies. Hunter says the reason their profits are so high is that they have used Katrina and other major hurricanes to justify “overpricing insurance, underpaying claims and reaping unjustified profits” at the expense of homeowners and business owners. He expects these companies will continue to prosper because they are increasing costs, upping deductibles, and excluding high risks from the policies.

Eileen Frank, a former resident of our state and an insurance broker in New York, disputes the insurance industry’s claim that they have already paid out 95 percent of the claims made since Katrina. Many others are still pending, she says, and cites personal examples of being shunted from one adjuster to another with the people she was trying to help.

Frank gave an example of a homeowner whose insurance she handled recently. Prior to Katrina, he paid $2,000 a year for insurance; now it’s three times that. Worse, the policy now has a deductible for wind damage in an amount equal to 5 percent of the house’s value. That is, if my house is worth $200,000 and we have a hurricane, the first $10,000 of damage is my problem.

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One reason this city has always held such a fascination to Americans is due to so many flavors of nationalities–people from all over the world live here. Case in point.

Saturday, down in St. Bernard Parish, the annual “Los Islenos Festival” was held, even though most of the members of this group are living elsewhere since Katrina. In the 1700s, residents of the Canary Islands moved to this most eastern of our bayou parishes and their people have been here ever since. The parish started the festival some 30 years ago to honor this part of their heritage.

And why were Canary Islanders of all people moving here? I’ve not been there, but we’re told that the islands making up this little colony in the eastern Atlantic has some of the loveliest scenery on the planet. It turns out that Spain–owner of the Louisiana territory at that time–paid the Islanders to move here to protect the colony from the British, the Canary Islands being a Spanish territory.

Drive up the highway a few miles and we have neighborhoods populated by thousands of Vietnamese. West of New Orleans is a little fishing village named “Des Allemands.” French for “The Germans.” We have the Irish Channel and St. Patrick’s Day parades and all kinds of Italian events. And did we say we have Cajuns?

We have several Korean Baptist churches in New Orleans, one Chinese, one Vietnamese, two Haitian, and at various times have had works with a number of French-speaking congregations as well as West Indian, Middle East, Portuguese-speaking, and such. And that’s not to mention the dozen or so Hispanic churches.

Mostly, what you will find in our churches is a blend of members whose lineage can be traced to exotic locales on the globe but are now just Americans. I’m confident other large cities have the same situation–Atlanta, Chicago, New York, Miami, Los Angeles–but it’s so gratifying to see congregations whose makeup looks a lot like Heaven must.

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No one questions that New Orleans proper has lost a major percentage of its pre-Katrina population, but the debate continues as to exact numbers. Now comes the first official U.S. Census Bureau numbers. Before the hurricane, the city showed 484,674 residents. The July 2006 number is 223,388–down by 54 percent. To no one’s surprise, some are questioning the accuracy of this report.

The problem in counting population is that people are distributed so unevenly, which prevents pollsters from counting a few blocks in a neighborhood and then making assumptions for the entire area.

Anyway, here are some more numbers. The western half of metro New Orleans–Jefferson Parish–counts 431,361 residents, making it the most populous parish in the state. That’s a 5 percent drop from the 2000 census. East Baton Rouge Parish comes in second now, with 429,073, up by 3.9 percent from 2000. To no one’s surprise, the Baton Rouge folks are raising serious doubts about that. It would appear that that city’s population has exploded, judging by two infallible barometers: the traffic and the cost of housing.

The folks on “New Orleans’ Northshore”–that would be the Interstate 12 corridor from Hammond east to Covington and on to Slidell–are likewise arguing that their numbers are much higher than the census shows. Again, it’s the traffic and the skyrocketing price for housing that convinces them the numbers are high.

Columnist Stephanie Grace writes that over a year ago she predicted that even though Governor Kathleen Blanco’s popularity index was abysmally low, once she starts handing out billions of federal dollars to local homeowners that situation will reverse itself. She wrote, “There aren’t too many politicians who can manage to look bad in those shoes.”

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Introducing…

Church Cartoons by Joe McKeever, Vol. 1 — on CD-ROM!

Over 200 Cartoon Illustrations for Church Bulletins, Newsletters, Presentations, and more… only $19.95!

Includes both large high-resolution images for printing, and smaller low-res versions perfect for the web or email.

Order your copy today!

Our readers know that I draw cartoons for religious papers and church bulletins. In fact, back in the 1980s, two other cartoonists and I put together 8 volumes of religious cartoons for use in the church office for newsletters and over the years sold some 300,000 copies. They are long since out of print, however. Good thing, because now putting artwork on CDs is the way to go. And that’s what we’ve done

Most church offices are now able to handle this kind of technology. (It’s a different day from when I started pastoring. Back then, high tech meant a mimeograph machine!) What I’d love for you to do is either purchase one yourself and give to the church office or print this out and hand to the person in your office who makes up the church bulletins, so he or she can order it. We’ve checked the market and believe ours to be lower priced than the others.

I’m always working at improving my cartooning, and I frequently pray that the Father will lead me in this. After all, He knows all His children and sees all our idiosyncrasies–and since He gave me this desire to draw cartoons for His people in the first place, I don’t hesitate to look to Him for creative ideas.

Any way, thanks! Hope you enjoy them!

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Tom Lester played “Eb” on the wonderful old “Green Acres” television series. He’s semi-retired now and living on his family farm in Laurel, Mississippi. Tuesday, Tom and I were on the program together at the First Baptist Church of Covington’s annual senior adult thing, and over lunch he told me this story about another star of “Green Acres,” Arnold the pig.

“Pigs are smart,” he said, “but not like dogs. A dog can learn all sorts of tricks because they want to please you. But a pig is like a cat. It’s selfish. It thinks only of itself. So, people who work with pigs in movies and television have figured out that the way to get them to obey you is with food. First, they let them get hungry, and only then can they get them to obey.”

“But,” he continued, “as soon as the pig gets his belly full, he’s not good for anything the rest of the day. So, they bring in another pig that looks like the first one and use him.” At any given time, Arnold was a half-dozen pigs.

We laughed about that, thinking how like humans pigs are. We see it in church a lot. People go to this church or that one because, “I get fed there.” Not: “I can serve the Lord there.” And how many times have we heard people remark about a sermon that “I didn’t get fed.”

It would be funny if it weren’t so sad.

I found this in my notes from a Wednesday pastors meeting some weeks ago. We were talking about positive leadership in our congregations and communities.

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I was a sophomore in college when God began doing a special work in my life. I joined West End Baptist Church in Birmingham and jumped into all the activities I could work into my schedule. That’s when the minister of education made a false assumption about me.

Ron Palmer stopped me in a church hallway one day and said, “I’d like you to give your tithing testimony in church.” I said, “What is that?” He said, “Tell us your story, why you tithe your income to the Lord through the church.” I said, “What is this word ‘tithe’?” I could not remember ever hearing it before.

Ron explained that to tithe is to give one dollar out of every ten to the Lord through our church. I said, “Well, in that case, I can’t tell my story because I don’t do that.” At the time, I had almost no income–I worked Saturdays selling men’s clothing at the National Shirt Shop downtown. What little giving I did in church was infrequent and miniscule.

It was several years before I started tithing, and even then I struggled with it for the next decade. Part of the struggle was just doing it–when you’re in seminary or getting started in those early poor-paying pastorates, every bill that arrives in the mail is a challenge–and the other part was coming to terms with the doctrine itself. Is this something God expects of us? Where is this taught in the Bible? Since most all the references are Old Testament, wasn’t that Jewish and not Christian?

Recently on my website I reported talks given by two ministers to a small group of pastors and seminary students in which both happened to mention tithing. One church is in Texas and the other Georgia, but both require their teachers and staffers to tithe. One speaker had said his accountant does the tax returns of 600 ministers and had found that only one-fourth of them were tithers. The pastor had concluded a lot of ministers are not living up to what they preach.

In the “comments” section of our website, where readers can register their opinions and reactions to articles, one fellow exploded in anger, accusing me of hypocrisy of the worst sort. When I tried to respond, I found that his website was all about promoting his book against tithing and that his computer blocked my message. I also discovered some of my friends wanted to weigh in on the subject of tithing.

That’s the purpose of this little article. At the end, you are invited to tell us why you tithe or why you don’t. Disagreements and differences are welcome. Just be respectful.

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This is Bill Taylor’s brain child. Officially retired from Lifeway Christian Resources as their senior educational consultant–Southern Baptists’ Mr. Sunday School–Bill now works for the North American Mission Board as a “senior strategist.” On numerous occasions he has spent several days in our part of the world and with churches on the Mississippi Gulf Coast, looking for a key way to make a difference.

Out of that search came “Unlimited Partnerships.” Bill began to imagine a plan by which we could match a gifted and dedicated seminary student with one of our local needy churches to serve a year or more in the area of education and evangelism. He imagined large churches in the SBC led by consecrated pastors who would want to pay the salaries of these students. Then, he set out to make it happen.

“We couldn’t have done it without David Hankins,” Bill Taylor said, referring to the executive of Louisiana Baptists. “When he first heard of this, he told me, ‘Bill, this is the right thing to do. Even if you can’t find the sponsoring churches, we will back it.'” But it wasn’t necessary. “It wasn’t a matter of dollars,” Bill explained. “This was all about matching up enterprising students with responsive churches and successful sponsors who could teach them and mentor them.”

The program kicked off March 1, with 7 students working out of 7 of our churches. This is the pilot program, a test run by which we find out what works and what doesn’t. We’re finding our way.

For the record, here are the seven churches.

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The West St. Charles Baptist Church of Boutte would argue that they’re not in New Orleans. Strictly speaking, they’re 20 miles or so west of the city, located on U.S. 90 in the middle of a growing segment of suburbia. But everything about the communities of Boutte, Lakewood, and Luling depends on their proximity to New Orleans, so we’ll not split hairs.

I preached for them Sunday morning, emphasizing two points the Lord has laid on my heart to carry to our churches these days: the role and responsibility of pastors from Acts 20:28 and the responsibility of church members from Hebrews 13:17. Since WSCBC is pastorless, this is a good time to try to affect their philosophy on these matters.

In the late 1970s–in the days of the oil boom down here–this church was regularly featured by the denomination as one of our fastest growing churches in America. The oil bust came along in the mid-80s and people moved out, then the church went through a succession of pastors and these days, they struggle to hit 100. But they are a wonderful group of folks and situated to have an incredible ministry, if…. If they get the right pastor and if they support him.

We will appreciate your prayers for West St. Charles Baptist Church.

The First Baptist Church of Westwego is located a half dozen blocks north of U.S. 90 some 15 miles back toward New Orleans. Jay Adkins has been their pastor for the last half dozen years, and it seems to me the church is doing very well. The last time I worshiped with them, their sanctuary was gutted out, boxes of supplies to be distributed in the community lined one wall, and you could see the sunlight shining through the blue tarp overhead. But no more.

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I used to not have time to read the paper before heading to Sunday School and church, but these days, with a job that sends me to churches all over the five-parish area to preach or to visit, the schedule often allows for leisurely mornings with the paper. Today, I’m preaching at West St. Charles Baptist Church at Boutte at 10:45 am. I recommend these quiet mornings.

Why we read obituaries.

Now, my mama reads the obituaries in her Daily Mountain Eagle to see if she knows the people who died, and as a nearly 91-year-old native of Walker County, Alabama, she frequently does. We pastors read them to make certain we stay current with deaths in our extended church family. But there’s another reason: many are just interesting.

Here is the opening sentence in an obituary in today’s paper: “Helen (Pearlie) Marie Falcon Gallagher of New Orleans, LA, completed the long goodbye on March 14, 2007, at the age of 85 in Tulsa, OK, her city of residence since September 2005.” That being the date of the evacuation from Katrina. “Completed the long goodbye.” Fascinating. Wonder what they meant.

The article goes on to identify her as a “WW II Navy wife” and “family keeper of written memories.” Every clan needs such a keeper; I hope yours has one.

Most of the obits are fairly vanilla, but occasionally gleams of gold shine through. John Cosmo Centanni was 80 when he died on March 14, and as a Marine in World War II received the Purple Heart for his service on Iwo Jima. Best I can figure out, he would have been 18 years old at the time of that battle. Not doubting the report, just noting it. Toward the end of the obit is this: “He was very generous and loving. He loved his wife and children more than anything in the world. His larger than life personality touched many people. He loved life. We will miss his love every day that goes by. Daddy, you did it your way.”

Saturday, I was entering Home Depot at the same time an elderly gentleman came in pushing a cart. He was really dressed up–sports coat, white shirt, tie, etc. I said, “Sir, you are one of the few people who know the right way to dress when you come to Home Depot!” He smiled and said, “I just came from the funeral parlor.” I said, “Oh. God bless you, sir.”

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First the story, then a few observations.

A Methodist minister goes to the door and finds a stranger standing there. “Sir,” the man said, “I’m new in town and need a preacher for a funeral.” The Methodist minister invites him in, and the man continues, “The funeral is for my little dog that died yesterday.”

The minister said, “Well, you know we don’t really do funerals for animals. Why don’t you just bury him and say a few words yourself?” The man said, “This dog was like a member of our family. We’re heartbroken over its death, and well, we just wanted to give him a good send-off.”

“I’m not going to be able to help you,” the minister said, “but the Baptist pastor lives three doors down the street. You might ask him.” The man thanked him and as he was turning away, he said, “Oh, by the way, Reverend, what would be an appropriate amount to give the minister for the funeral? I was thinking of five thousand dollars.”

“Come back in the house,” the minister said. “Why didn’t you tell me that dog was a Methodist?”

One of our pastors told that story last Wednesday at our weekly pastors’ gathering. It went over big, leading me to believe that it was new to many. Either that, or they were just enjoying an old friend again.

Over the years, inflation has messed with that story. The first time I heard it, the amount was fifty dollars. It takes more to catch our fancy than it used to, I suppose. If there are forensic humorists out there, someone could probably track the origins of that joke down and discover that originally the amount was five dollars or something.

Some stories take on lives of their own and seem to live forever. And with the internet, no doubt my great-grandchildren will some day hear that joke–by then, the figure will be five million!–and pass it on to their friends.

What you wonder is why Readers Digest keeps printing new jokes. Since each new generation has not heard the stories of the previous one, they could recycle every story every decade or two and get by with it.

A good story is like a good song: it bears repetition and each performer gives it his own rendering.

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